Amelserru_halqu
July 11th, 2005, 03:00 AM
As I learn I wonder much, and though I seek and seek the answers elude me. I fell that perhaps if my thoughts are spoken here perhaps things will become clearer.
A bit of a warning, what I say is not to be taken as truth, this is merely me thinking aloud and using the forum as a sounding board.
To cast a spell (ethics, wisdom, control, and responsibility aside) what does one truly need? The first component I feel is an intention to have one's will be done, this I suppose is fairly straight forward, this intention (what you will to be done perhaps?), second is a belief that what you are doing will work, doubts would weaken and perhaps nullify the spell, third is energy be it from one's self, the earth, moon, stars, emotions, dancing around in circles or what have you.
Now the intention part is where it gets muddier, if one were driven to wrath, or as I like to put it seriously pissed off, one would generate negative energy, for some people with a natural connection of a magical nature there would be more energy available for the spell. Using their anger their intention would probably be to cause harm and if enough energy was available could they cause death and suffering? Throw in a belief that the spell they are doing is real and the will to make it so, wouldn't the spell work?
Such a spell could work itself out in any way imaginable, especially if the intention behind it was vague, and I imagine anyone who is working this way (or at least as I picture it) would not have much if any knowledge of how a spell is to work. Notice how all three can be easily manufactured, intention is easy, you will it to be so and so it is, energy, as I said can be generated in countless number of ways, belief I suppose is more tricky, of course someone casting a spell, curse, or what have you would have to believe that it would work to even attempt it.
An example of this might be something that I used to do, and still do on occasion, though the wisdom in it I cannot say. First I have to want something to be done, let's say I'm pissed off at a friend for tormenting me (yes I know not a good friend) and I want them to suffer what they did to me. Then I will start chanting (maybe not the right word there) a bunch of nonsensical words throwing in the names of whatever god I chose based on what I wanted, though originally I used Ra because, well the name just wound up in there (i.e. Kal mulshka ki Ra mo xal kisha Ra inalva and so forth) and just keep on making up new words to throw in there. This sounds magical, at least to me, and enhances my belief that the spell would work, then perhaps I would throw in hand motions or dancing or whatever (more magical feeling). All the while I focus on what I want to happen, in this case bringing suffering to my friend. While chanting and dancing and gesturing the energy inside would build and when I end the spell (usually with the name of Ra) all the energy would be released and I of course would feel drained (I think I may have used personal energy too).
When I actually did this spell it felt right and I didn't stop to think of the possibilities, though now I realize what I have done. Anyway the results of the spell were devastating, my friend's mother got cancer, inoperable, and incurable, and after suffering through an agonizing 8 month battle with cancer and she died. Then he fell apart, hated everyone and everything, he abandoned everything his mother stood for suffered. He suffers still, agony, hatred, and cold hard logic; these are all he has now. My will was done; the spell worked, and haunts me still. He hates me now, though he doesn't consciously know why, his subconscious does and he hates me with a passion that is equal to the love he once held for his mother, it is there under the surface, a simmering hatred which will never be undone.
I didn't realize that this is why she died until I began studying this path, I know that I and I alone am responsible and have accepted this and the karma that is coming to me. I don't know why I wrote all this down here, revealed my pain thus, it weakens me. I can only pray that I will make it up to the universe someday, the only way I know how, by doing the opposite, healing, and assisting, raising the children I will someday have to be good and just.
Why? Why? WHY? WHHHHYYYY?!?!?!
A lot more makes sense now, why the little voice in my head told me I could save her, why there was never any hope, why he hates me, why I suffered an unbreakable addiction for five years, so much more makes sense now. So much, but it's all too little too late. I guess I only write this to heal my broken soul, even as I write this, tears stream down my face, anyone who is contemplating any such act, please reconsider, it's never worth it. Never.
Amelserru_halqu
a child lost and not yet found
A bit of a warning, what I say is not to be taken as truth, this is merely me thinking aloud and using the forum as a sounding board.
To cast a spell (ethics, wisdom, control, and responsibility aside) what does one truly need? The first component I feel is an intention to have one's will be done, this I suppose is fairly straight forward, this intention (what you will to be done perhaps?), second is a belief that what you are doing will work, doubts would weaken and perhaps nullify the spell, third is energy be it from one's self, the earth, moon, stars, emotions, dancing around in circles or what have you.
Now the intention part is where it gets muddier, if one were driven to wrath, or as I like to put it seriously pissed off, one would generate negative energy, for some people with a natural connection of a magical nature there would be more energy available for the spell. Using their anger their intention would probably be to cause harm and if enough energy was available could they cause death and suffering? Throw in a belief that the spell they are doing is real and the will to make it so, wouldn't the spell work?
Such a spell could work itself out in any way imaginable, especially if the intention behind it was vague, and I imagine anyone who is working this way (or at least as I picture it) would not have much if any knowledge of how a spell is to work. Notice how all three can be easily manufactured, intention is easy, you will it to be so and so it is, energy, as I said can be generated in countless number of ways, belief I suppose is more tricky, of course someone casting a spell, curse, or what have you would have to believe that it would work to even attempt it.
An example of this might be something that I used to do, and still do on occasion, though the wisdom in it I cannot say. First I have to want something to be done, let's say I'm pissed off at a friend for tormenting me (yes I know not a good friend) and I want them to suffer what they did to me. Then I will start chanting (maybe not the right word there) a bunch of nonsensical words throwing in the names of whatever god I chose based on what I wanted, though originally I used Ra because, well the name just wound up in there (i.e. Kal mulshka ki Ra mo xal kisha Ra inalva and so forth) and just keep on making up new words to throw in there. This sounds magical, at least to me, and enhances my belief that the spell would work, then perhaps I would throw in hand motions or dancing or whatever (more magical feeling). All the while I focus on what I want to happen, in this case bringing suffering to my friend. While chanting and dancing and gesturing the energy inside would build and when I end the spell (usually with the name of Ra) all the energy would be released and I of course would feel drained (I think I may have used personal energy too).
When I actually did this spell it felt right and I didn't stop to think of the possibilities, though now I realize what I have done. Anyway the results of the spell were devastating, my friend's mother got cancer, inoperable, and incurable, and after suffering through an agonizing 8 month battle with cancer and she died. Then he fell apart, hated everyone and everything, he abandoned everything his mother stood for suffered. He suffers still, agony, hatred, and cold hard logic; these are all he has now. My will was done; the spell worked, and haunts me still. He hates me now, though he doesn't consciously know why, his subconscious does and he hates me with a passion that is equal to the love he once held for his mother, it is there under the surface, a simmering hatred which will never be undone.
I didn't realize that this is why she died until I began studying this path, I know that I and I alone am responsible and have accepted this and the karma that is coming to me. I don't know why I wrote all this down here, revealed my pain thus, it weakens me. I can only pray that I will make it up to the universe someday, the only way I know how, by doing the opposite, healing, and assisting, raising the children I will someday have to be good and just.
Why? Why? WHY? WHHHHYYYY?!?!?!
A lot more makes sense now, why the little voice in my head told me I could save her, why there was never any hope, why he hates me, why I suffered an unbreakable addiction for five years, so much more makes sense now. So much, but it's all too little too late. I guess I only write this to heal my broken soul, even as I write this, tears stream down my face, anyone who is contemplating any such act, please reconsider, it's never worth it. Never.
Amelserru_halqu
a child lost and not yet found