Can anyone relate...

[Windigo]

...to having one of those horrible "friends" that ruin your life? It's like an abusive relationship where it just gets worse. If anyone does have one of those type of friends, how on earth did you get out of it alive? I was just wondering if anyone else knows what I'm talking about.

The girls name was Alana. If you've ever even met one of these type of people, what were their names? It would be really interesting to see if there was a name pattern, but there probably isn't. :nyah:

Lol. It wasn't a school thing. Well, mostly. The part where she was spreading lies involved the school, but other than that it had nothing to do with school. She just sucked all the life out of me like a leech... I stayed friends with her for three long years. Those were three of the most horrible years of my life. Aside from the other three another girl took up... Sheesh, I'm just prone to picking crappy friends.:hrmm:

It was to the point where I couldn't sleep she was terrorizing my life so badly. I now have some of the most amazing new friends ever. I couldn't ask for better. You need to take some bad before you get some good, I guess.

She was always grabbing me in places that don't need to be grabbed. Every day I exploded at her. I told her if she did it one more time I'd seriously get a restraining order, but she kept on doing it. She said it was ok because "it's not like I'm a lesbian, so it doesn't matter." Excuse me. It mattered to ME! Anyway, she was getting on some of my other friends nerves as well so we all told her to get lost. Mean, yes, I know, but necessary. I haven't seen her since.

I just don't know what's WRONG with people these days. Is there no sense of decency left in the world? Jeez.:G

Lucky me._violin_

[Pure Ahimsa]

I have a "friend" called Ramzey (or is it Ramsy?) that pisses me off big time... he can be good sometimes, but I think he is bi-polar... he makes my life harder.

[Kaija]

Unfortunately I have a pattern of finding them.. the first was fine for a long time..but at about the 10 year mark he stopped taking his meds.. (he's bi-polar, but lied to his shrink, so was being treated for depression).. and flipped out.. I moved and have not talked to him since.

My current roomate is basically that person right now.. I haven't stayed at my house in almost a month now because A: I don't want to be around her anymore.. and B: due to her not paying her share of the bills my car was repoed.. grr so have to stay with my friend who is letting me use her car for work. The roomate didn't offer help with rides, despite the fact that when we moved into that house I DROVE her to work, and picked her up, while babysitting her kid.. (she worked 3rd shift so this was NOT fun) She has ruined me financially.. my credit rating was great before. I have done nothing but help her, but she refused to pay her share.. and anytime I bring it up she brings up every bad thing that has happened to her.. as if it were MY fault.. I can't find anyone that will talk to her because she has used up ALL of my friends... (after trying to turn them away from me by lying behind my back.. and stealing stuff from them and blaming me.. etc. etc. etc.)

How to get away?.. I moved away from the first, and this one.. she can't hurt me physically being VERY pregnant, but I fear for my critters.. (I have them locked in my bedroom, but.. *shrug*) I have no idea how to get away from it.. most of them (these were just the closest to ruining me) just turned away when they had used me up..

Good Luck to anyone else dealing with this.. and if you know a secret to getting rid of them.. let me in! :bug:

Oh yeah, and to edit.. (i forgot the names.. lol) I had Josh first, and then Angel.. (I think her mother was drugged.. she's no Angel)

[Happy Shrew]

If anyone does have one of those type of friends, how on earth did you get out of it alive?

Kick. Scream. Throw things. Make them miserable until they go away.

I had a roommate who was as you described - draining, abusive, a terror to my life who made my emotional issues far, far worse. Eventually I got sick of it (after trying to make peace in more tactful ways) and just made her life a living hell right back until she got off her lazy butt and did the paperwork to move out.

Name's Denise, by the way. Any numerologists willing to play with the names we have so far?

[KNSimmons]

....Make them miserable until they go away.
...Eventually I got sick of it (after trying to make peace in more tactful ways) and just made her life a living hell right back until she got off her lazy butt and did the paperwork to move out.
I agree with Happy Shrew. After trying nicely, and that has no effect, the only option is to get as mean and nasty as they are and feed it right back to them. However be careful of the extremes you go to. Don't assault them or damage any property to the point that the police can be called. And if they do anything like that to you or your property, call the police, and have them come out to at least file a report if nothing else. This will prove you mean business by documenting everything correctly.
:halohead:

I'm a bit older than all of you that have posted so far, so I've had several more scrapes like this in my lifetime. When you start dealing with people like this you have to understand they are abusive, usually both emotionally and physically. They are not to be played with or taken lightly. Getting very real and very serious with them immediately is the best thing to do. And hold your ground. If you threaten to get a restraining order, then on the next violation GO GET IT. Making empty threats is the last thing you want to do with these poeple. These people are usually controllers. They try to bully you. And they will as long as you put up with it. If you are alone, make sure you plan carefully. Or better yet, call your friends, then you will have wittnesses also. Don't put up with somebody trying to run your life!!
:hahugh:

[LadyTrinity]

I have had some pretty bad friends.
One almost broke up my relationship with my bf telling people i sleep around and the same one called child services on me and I dont know why because I am a good mom, im clean and I have more than my friend can provide for her own children. _handclapp

[NiftyWings]

I had a friend like that once. We were like sisters, until I made the mistake of helping her leave her abusive husband. She was staying with me, and things went into the toilet. One example, if the baby was sleeping and I had to run an errand I'd ask if it was okay to leave baby w/ her. She'd get annoyed and say "You don't have to ask, just go!" But the one time I actually did that, she got pissed off and screamed that I was taking advantage of her because I didn't ask before I left!

My husband was in the Navy, and my teenage sister was living with us. After Friend from Hell moved out, she started spreading rumors that we were allowing my husband's friends from his ship to stay at the house and sleep with my sister (she was only 14).

[jimgriff]

Where I come from we call them "Psychic Vampires", 'cause, well, it's kinda sexy sounding. Maybe the politically correct term is co-dependant, or something. Whatever. Wolf in Sheep's clothing.
Point is, people like that are drawn to you because you feed them in some way, wether its in attention, or warm pink fuzzies, or a free place to crash and make long-distance calls, or anger-energy, or whatever, but don't give anything back. If you feed them, just like strays, they'll stay. Don't go putting ground-up glass in their kibbles, but cut them off for your own well-being. Tough Love. They'll react badly at first, but just toss up a blank wall. (remember "I'm made of rubber, and you're made of glue, so anything yousay bounces off of me and sticks onto you? Same thing)
Anyhow, I haven't seen my little brother in many Moons, now, and we're both better off. Hope it works out for you. Be strong and save your time and energy for you and the people who earn it. A true friend will give you the shirt off of their back, not ask for yours.

[-Ember]

I've a slightly different problem with them... my worst versions of those are all family..... NOT people I plan to just drive away/dump (although I've done that with "friend" versions.)

On getting rid of them, just standing your ground and not giving in to the urge to be "reasonable" (aka a doormate) and by cutting as many dependency issues (like shared utilities or rent) and they are gone. When being a victim only hurts them, they tend to give up on you. If you do share things like bills, get tough. If they don't pay big stuff, consider small claims court. Don't accept their excuses.

Trust me, trying to keep them and not allow their special victim status to hurt you is much much harder than being willing to consider them a loss.

[Karma Chameleon]

The best way to get rid of a friend you no longer want is to totally and completely ignore them. Because keep in mind that with some of these people, they see bad attention is better than no attention. Some people even if you do treat them mean in order to get rid of them, will still hang around because you are still giving them the attention that they crave. And as for family that you wish to get rid of, the same applies if you are legally an adult.

[Evendusk]

I had a horrible friend in high school who completely controlled our little group and it wasn't until I left for college that the invisible rope got cut and it seemed to have the same effect with the others as well. I've been hypersensitive since then about falling into the same kind of relationship and react pretty quickly whenever I feel someone is trying to take advantage or control.

It's important to establish boundaries right off in any relationship and stick to them. There are too many leeches out there but they'll be turned off if they see they aren't able to latch on easily.

[QUEEN OF THE DAMNED]

I dumped mine that are like that quite a few years ago now. If they want to bring themsleves down over and over again and then want me to be Mum to them they can get stuffed......some people are beyond help.

[Imbrium]

I just don't know what's WRONG with people these days. Is there no sense of decency left in the world? Jeez.:G

Lucky me._violin_

:hmmmmm: This is why I gave up on having girlfriends for having casual aquaintances. Less stress.