Celtique
July 31st, 2005, 04:03 AM
I'm not sure how many of you remember me, or what's more even care. *L* I just wanted to say hello, and express how much I've missed being a regular on the forums.
It's amazing to me how much life can teach us in a short period of time. I've had a very strange and life-altering last 5 months. Some tragic moments, some so wonderful I want to cry. I feel I have to share, because for me it really, honestly feels like things happen for a reason. There really is a path. Of course, each path is different, and nothing is ever certain - but if you keep your mind open and heart true it really does open doors. You have to be willing to learn, to work, to sacrifice, and live. I've always believed things happen for a reason - but wow, it seems clearer than ever now.
I've felt for the past 5 years, maybe more, that I've been in a process of growth. Growth is eternal of course. However, I've felt a calling to work really hard at fixing my life, organizing things, and most importantly understanding who I am. I've always "known" I was supposed to, but it's been dreadfully hard. I've made it that way. I wanted the end results before I was ready. I thought I was ready. It seems like something keeps whispering in my ear, nudging me, reminding me not to forget because I have some purpose to fulfill while I am here. Or so it feels.
Anyway. Once I finally woke up and actually worked at it - once I was willing to really do what I needed to do for so long...everything just sort of...bloomed inside of me. I'm so amazed at the parts of myself I wouldn't face or let be. I was always me, but I wasn't able to understand before.
I feel so much now. I feel I'm going to be a part of some very beautiful things in the future, that I'll leave this life with a better understanding of whatever it is out there waiting for me, talking to me, talking to all of us, than many people ever will in a lifetime. I just feel...connected.
Mostly though, I feel my learning is hardly over...and never will be.
I know I'm rambling and it doesn't make sense, but I really wanted to share and tell you all how much I missed you.
Blessed be.
It's amazing to me how much life can teach us in a short period of time. I've had a very strange and life-altering last 5 months. Some tragic moments, some so wonderful I want to cry. I feel I have to share, because for me it really, honestly feels like things happen for a reason. There really is a path. Of course, each path is different, and nothing is ever certain - but if you keep your mind open and heart true it really does open doors. You have to be willing to learn, to work, to sacrifice, and live. I've always believed things happen for a reason - but wow, it seems clearer than ever now.
I've felt for the past 5 years, maybe more, that I've been in a process of growth. Growth is eternal of course. However, I've felt a calling to work really hard at fixing my life, organizing things, and most importantly understanding who I am. I've always "known" I was supposed to, but it's been dreadfully hard. I've made it that way. I wanted the end results before I was ready. I thought I was ready. It seems like something keeps whispering in my ear, nudging me, reminding me not to forget because I have some purpose to fulfill while I am here. Or so it feels.
Anyway. Once I finally woke up and actually worked at it - once I was willing to really do what I needed to do for so long...everything just sort of...bloomed inside of me. I'm so amazed at the parts of myself I wouldn't face or let be. I was always me, but I wasn't able to understand before.
I feel so much now. I feel I'm going to be a part of some very beautiful things in the future, that I'll leave this life with a better understanding of whatever it is out there waiting for me, talking to me, talking to all of us, than many people ever will in a lifetime. I just feel...connected.
Mostly though, I feel my learning is hardly over...and never will be.
I know I'm rambling and it doesn't make sense, but I really wanted to share and tell you all how much I missed you.
Blessed be.