If you keep an online journal

[arctic splash]

I've kept a journal for years, and I do it because I enjoy writing, and I enjoy sharing. And I love journaling...

But it feels awkward sometimes, sharing things in my journal, and then being asked by a friend how things are going, telling them, "Well, you might have read it in my journal." I may really want to share something with a friend, in a personal way, and hope that they will likewise respond in a personal way, but all that person can say is, "I know. I read it in your journal." I begin to wonder how much of what I say is repetitive, even though I may be sharing certain thoughts with someone for the first time. I never want to substitute real connection and dialogue with mere impersonal words, and I wonder to what extent journaling has the capacity to replace real friendship.

I wished a friend a happy birthday, and asked her how her day went. We haven't shared anything with each other in quite a while, and all she could say was, "I'm about to write about it in my journal." As if that were equally as valuable as a few personal words directed just to me.

Does anyone else feel this way?

[Rudas Starblaze]

;) thats why i dont keep a journal.
reasons.

A. if i wanted people to know whats going on with me, i would tell them personally.

B. if someone whats to know anything about me, i prefer them to ask me personally.

C. if i kept an online journal,,, i would probably be committed for what i would say.

[Happy Shrew]

I sort of feel that way. My blog isn't all that extensive, so it isn't so bad. Basically, the blog covers the very general story while I reserve any details I think someone might enjoy for our conversations.

Case in point: I went on a trip to Texas earlier this month. On my blog I gave a very general "Hey, this is fun, my boyfriend's famliy is strange, etc." When I spoke with Friend A I told her about how fun the younger siblings were because she likes kids, Friend B heard about some of the stranger older siblings because she doesn't like kids and Friend C got to hear about all of the things in Texas that I thought were strange because he's from there.

Mainly my blog is for quiz results, though.

[Brenda]

My journal is just with a few of my philosophical thoughts, that usually don't come up in a normal conversation :reading:

[SilverClaw]

The two journals I have are for my rants and other thoughts, and the other is for my poetry. Both which I feel are good places for me to vent and just think and reflect and talk about things I cannot talk to my friends about since none of them live near me or I can call.

[Happy Shrew]

My mom constantly tells me to watch what goes in my blogs because potential employers might Google my name and find it... too bad it's a Jolinko blog and I can restrict access to friends only. It's still something to keep in mind, though.

[Rayzer]

I hardly ever update my blogs. If I do though it's usually with an article that I want to share with people. I use them for ranting also.

[Penthesilea]

I keep journals. I have journals all over the place. They are, however, kept in composition notebooks written in my own, personal longhand and not on my computer and most especially not online! I've never understood the need to share the most intimate details of life with the world. Nor do I understand the need to know such details about the lives of others. If I trust someone enough, I'll tell them what they need to know to understand me. Everyone else is just going to have to stifle their curiosity! If I'm going to rant, I do it privately. If I'm going to complain, I do it privately. If I'm going to cry, I do it privately and not for the entire world to see and be entertained by nor to feed my ego with the notion that the whole world cares! It has to do with keeping my life, mine, and not public property. If anyone has a problem with that, too bad. It's my life and I'll share it, or not, as I please and with whom I please. The people I do share my life with deserve to be treated as friends, not voyeurs.

[Bix]

Yah, I get that sometimes, too. But recently, I haven't been writing a lot of personal stuff in my journal. Too many people read it to be comfortable anymore. But it's always fun to just kinda keep tabs on what other people are doing, especially if you don't see them that much.

[Penthesilea]

Yah, I get that sometimes, too. But recently, I haven't been writing a lot of personal stuff in my journal. Too many people read it to be comfortable anymore. But it's always fun to just kinda keep tabs on what other people are doing, especially if you don't see them that much.Back in the days before personal computers and the internet, we did it with actual letters, sent through the post office. The system worked very well and was both personal and private.

[Mindflayer]

The few 'journal entrie' I have are pretty vague (mostly rants lol)

that way, someone can read it then actually talk to me and be like "what's up with that?"

[Calen]

I keep a livejournal, and it's mostly just a record of things that happened to me in the run of a day and how I was feeling, in general. Sometimes it lapses over into things I would use in conversation, but I'm never very detailed when I type it, so there is always more to say.

I have never had online journals pose the kind of problem you refer to, but I agree it would be a pain. I much prefer hearing things from someone, rather than reading them anywhere.

[Galaxia]

Ω

[Avalonia]

I have a livejournal, which is kind of personal, and kind of not. I don't go too deep (usually) and I keep things rather general. I have a blogger that I barely ever update, and I also have a greatestjournal which is about my writing (or rants about my writing, I should say), and because I'm starting to make costumes, my cosplaying. But the GJ is friends only, because I don't think most people care, and the LJ is public, but if there's things that I only want a select few people to read, I make it friends-only. I used to try to keep a handwritten journal, but it never worked. I've had my LJ now for four years, but there's a lot that goes on in my life that is never mentioned on there.

[Sequoia]

moonstone_dreams... are these online friends you're talking about, or people you know in person?

You complained that people wanted to know what was going on, and that they wouldn't simply rely on your journal... but when a friend told you to check their journal, you were offended. Um, may I reccomend a window repairsman that specializes in glass houses?

People are probably asking you for more details or to hear it in your own words, because the majority of people don't post their innermost dramatic thoughts on a _webpage_. They figure you would like to interact like other normal friends do, with that interactive talking thing. :lol:

Penthesilea, relax. Not everybody who keeps an LJ is doing it for the drama and attention (though to be fair, a great deal are ;) ). For example, I have many online *aquaintences*, whom I don't get to talk with a lot and aren't extremely close to, but we enjoy reading about what's going on in eachother's lives, sending notes from time to time, etc etc. I'm fairly certain none of us would mind talking in person or on an IM; we simply aren't on at the same time, and/or are too far away to make it practical.

Some folks are looking for advice, some are looking for attention, some are looking for ensuing flame wars and drama. Some aren't looking for anything at all, and rather simply ramble on publically. I would say my lj is 90% the latter. 8O It's mostly for myself, but I'm always happy when folks notice and comment. Attention is fun, and it's an easy way to stay in contact. I post in others' journals, too. *shrugs*

[BrigidMoon]

Yes that irritates me when friends tell me to read their journal.

Makes the experience a bit stale doesn't it?

[arctic splash]

are these online friends you're talking about, or people you know in person?

I'm referring to people I know in person.


You complained that people wanted to know what was going on, and that they wouldn't simply rely on your journal... but when a friend told you to check their journal, you were offended. Um, may I reccomend a window repairsman that specializes in glass houses?

No, let me clarify. I think the sentence you were confused by was:


But it feels awkward sometimes, sharing things in my journal, and then being asked by a friend how things are going, telling them, "Well, you might have read it in my journal."

I could have worded it: "It feels awkward to acknowledge, when I want to share something with someone, one on one, interactively, that they may have already read about it in my journal.

Did everyone else understand that? :D

So, again.

I *never* tell friends, when they want to know what's going on with me, to just read my journal. What I was trying to express in my first post is that I want to share, to have real dialogue with people, because to me that's so much more valuable than shirking that opportunity for real connection and telling them to read my journal. I'm not a hypocrite. I would never ask them to do that, and nor would I want to. I want to share with them, and I want them to share with me -- without any of us brushing each other off and pointing to our journals.

I do keep a journal, mostly for my own sake, and friends do read it. But as I tried to express in my first post, there are times when I want to share something exciting with someone, but I find that it's not really new to them, because I've already written about it in my journal. I don't ask them to read about it in my journal, and I'm not complaining that they did (there ARE some benefits to sharing in a journal), but often I'd prefer to share one on one. And I wish my friend had chosen to share one on one with me rather than asking me to read her journal.

[Sylvan]

I mainly use my blogs to keep in touch with friends. My problem is that I do use it as a place to kinda say "Hey, how are *you*?" and actually expect people to answer. *lol*
"Just because we're not replying doesn't mean we're not reading.." I hear alot. *shrug* Something I need to get over, I guess.

[mucgwyrt]

I keep a paper journal, but I do store my dreams online in a blog, but only web-based friends and myself have access to it. It sounds to me like you need to make your journal 'private' :)

[arctic splash]

I mainly use my blogs to keep in touch with friends. My problem is that I do use it as a place to kinda say "Hey, how are *you*?" and actually expect people to answer. *lol*

Yeah, I know what you mean. It's useful to keep in touch with people you don't see very often, but I wonder how often people use it as a replacement for actually dropping a line or making a phone call. When I comment on other people's journals, I take it very seriously, and my comments are rarely brief or superficial. I aim to keep it more personal that way. And if my friends (as they sometimes do) take as much time to comment in my journal as I take in theirs, then our journals actually aid us in keeping a close relationship with each other. I want my journal to be a starting point for all kinds of truly personal discussions, not a replacement for them. I'm a little bit of a journaling idealist. :)

[Bec_W]

Can't say I have noticed it. I still talk to my real life friends, but then I don't really talk about my day to day life in my blog.

[arctic splash]

I keep a paper journal, but I do store my dreams online in a blog, but only web-based friends and myself have access to it. It sounds to me like you need to make your journal 'private' :)

I was thinking about making it private, at least for a while. Or maybe I could find some balance between completely public and completely private. I hate to discriminate between who can read it and who can't... But there are people who have been reading my journal for years, who I've met in person, but really our relationship has been based on reading each other's journals. And there are interesting people I've just met through journaling, that I'd like to continue reading and sharing with. But then there are real-life friends who I'd rather talked to me than read my journal... and friends I haven't shared my journal with at all, and I get the feeling our close communication would suffer if they started reading my journal.

Thanks for your advice. :)

[Sylvan]

Yeah, I know what you mean. It's useful to keep in touch with people you don't see very often, but I wonder how often people use it as a replacement for actually dropping a line or making a phone call. When I comment on other people's journals, I take it very seriously, and my comments are rarely brief or superficial. I aim to keep it more personal that way. And if my friends (as they sometimes do) take as much time to comment in my journal as I take in theirs, then our journals actually aid us in keeping a close relationship with each other. I want my journal to be a starting point for all kinds of truly personal discussions, not a replacement for them. I'm a little bit of a journaling idealist. :)
:) I should probably add that any friends who go to my blogs are online friends. :lookwhats I'm not very social in real life. *lol*

[arctic splash]

Can't say I have noticed it. I still talk to my real life friends, but then I don't really talk about my day to day life in my blog.

I share with my journal the sorts of things I would share with a friend. My journal to me is like a friend who's always there for me. :)