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View Full Version : Post traumatic sex...WARNING ADULT CONTENT!!



Laiste
November 10th, 2001, 01:52 AM
Very interesting article...

http://www.alternet.org/story.html?StoryID=11894

SpikesPet5150
November 10th, 2001, 02:16 AM
Very interesting article... but I'm one of the "weird" ones I guess... after a traumatic experience, I shy away from any kind of intimacy... I'm not sure why. Maybe it's cause after any kind of trauma all I wanna do is get some beer and forget about it... kinda puts a damper on my mood, I suppose.
~Bree

Swanspirit
November 10th, 2001, 02:25 AM
attached to sex in our society ........
we are OK with extended foreplay ala skimpy bikinis on shows like BOOB WATCH ....but the actual act always seems to have to be JUSTIFIED in some fashion in our soceity ......
when after a trauma or death ...... having sex is actually known in some studies to be simply a life affirming celebration........
same thing with young people acting out sexually .......... so many people want to run in and moralilse and judge them........... when IN REALITY sex can be a very nurturing experience .. and in some cases some children dont know how to otherwise get love.............
I also see the possibility of a deep survival instinct kicking in immediatly after a tragedy ...... in order to rapidly produce more life.........on a biological basis......
we know so little about our selves.......
Love and light
Swannie

Kadynas
November 10th, 2001, 03:39 AM
"It was like I almost felt re-born and somehow sex was a part of it" sounds like a Scorpio thing to me! :lol:

I drove through the entire state of New York the day of Sept. 11th. I was on my way to my love's house in Massa, and the drive up there was terrifying. Everyone was doing 100+ miles an hour just to get home. And when I got there, yes we screwed our brains out. I think the biggest part of it was relief that we were both okay. I don't buy into the whole biological response "need to procreate" thing though. I don't plan on having children, so sex has absolutely nothing to do with procreation for me.

Swanspirit
November 10th, 2001, 04:06 AM
it wouldnt be a conscious thing......... and probably wouldnt apply to everyone either ...... given that our species has survived because of diversity ...........
Love and Light
Swannie

Laiste
November 10th, 2001, 11:16 AM
On the day of the attacks my husband, son and myself were heading down to my Grandmothers funeral in Yonkers, which is only about 40 minutes from NYC. The only other vehicles on the road heading in our direction were emergency/police/military. It was very frightening. When we arrived at the funeral everyone was so devastated by what had just happened. The emotions were overwhelming. Now, at a funeral, there is always intimacy, although not the sexual kind. In the face of death...we cling to life. In the face of mass destruction...we cling even harder. What I experienced on 9-11 changed me in too many ways...some for the better. But, it certainly has changed my relationships with people, especially my husband. I take "better emotional care" of my husband and my son and my self...I don't take my friends and family for granted...I make plans with them and cherish the moments we have. I do something special for the ones I love anytime I can.

SimplyStrange
November 10th, 2001, 07:16 PM
Very interesting article. One day at lunch at school, I brought up the question of "If you only had so many days to live, what would you do with your time?" And I got responses from quite a few people that were that if they knew they only had so many days to live, they'd at least spend one of those days screwing their brains out. There were various reasons why, i.e. "I don't want to die a virgin" "I want to experience that before I die" "I want to feel loved, like there was something worth living for". Perhaps this is something inside of a lot of people. I know a few people who ask me sometimes "Is it worth it? Is all this worth all the pain we get?" And I try to tell them to look at the good things, to focus on the joys, the things we find worth living for. Perhaps in a way sex is something that reassures people that they're loved, that in someone else's eyes, they're worth living for...

...just a little thought coming from a virgin, lol.

Laiste
November 10th, 2001, 09:52 PM
Originally posted by SimplyStrange
Very interesting article. One day at lunch at school, I brought up the question of "If you only had so many days to live, what would you do with your time?" And I got responses from quite a few people that were that if they knew they only had so many days to live, they'd at least spend one of those days screwing their brains out. There were various reasons why, i.e. "I don't want to die a virgin" "I want to experience that before I die" "I want to feel loved, like there was something worth living for". Perhaps this is something inside of a lot of people. I know a few people who ask me sometimes "Is it worth it? Is all this worth all the pain we get?" And I try to tell them to look at the good things, to focus on the joys, the things we find worth living for. Perhaps in a way sex is something that reassures people that they're loved, that in someone else's eyes, they're worth living for...

...just a little thought coming from a virgin, lol.

Well said, SS and very true, might I add!:D I remeber when I was your age and my friends and I would have similar conversations...

flar7
November 10th, 2001, 09:54 PM
in my opinion is on a genetic level, and you arent aware of it on any conscious level. So even if you dont want to make kids, on a genetic level your body does. The desire to reproduce your dna above any others is a genetic concept of immortality. IMO

SimplyStrange
November 12th, 2001, 03:58 PM
Yeah, perhaps it's just something inside of us all, the desire to mate..."animal instinct", perhaps?

Illuminatus
November 13th, 2001, 11:08 AM
Originally posted by Swanspirit
I also see the possibility of a deep survival instinct kicking in immediatly after a tragedy ...... in order to rapidly produce more life.........on a biological basis......
we know so little about our selves.......
Love and light
Swannie

That's true, but there's even a further step to it. After massive trauma or charity, often the body can be siezed with an incredible urge to mate. Because you yourself might be the next to die, there's no way of knowing, so this uncertainty transforms in a deep urgency to see your genes passed on ASAP.

Kadynas
November 14th, 2001, 04:16 AM
Originally posted by flar7
in my opinion is on a genetic level, and you arent aware of it on any conscious level. So even if you dont want to make kids, on a genetic level your body does. The desire to reproduce your dna above any others is a genetic concept of immortality. IMO

See I'd tend to disagree with you...IMO it's more like a celebration of life, not the need to create it. You know...enjoying on of the most pleasing aspects of being alive. I think the mind influences the body more than the body influences the mind. Just look at all the studies that have been done on all the various "powers of the mind". I don't know, I guess I just don't like being told (in general, not picking on anybody *here*) that I'm being 'controlled' by forces that I don't understand. I get enough of that just by wearing a Pentacle! :lol:

But seriously though, it's much more emotional than biological, at least IMO. Maybe instincts do play a part...but I find that instinct enters my mind as a conscious thought to do something...I then have the choice of whether or not to act on it or why. It's not something that just takes me over or anything.

Raindancer
November 14th, 2001, 08:14 AM
I read the posts before the article, and it seemed to me that making babies had little if anything to do with it. It seems to me that in life and death situations when survival is the issue, it creates something not unlike a sacred space. In ordinary life, we are constrained to behave in certain socially acceptable ways. We have to control our behavior, or face varying levels of consequences.

When our lives are threatened, or something major happens like the terrorist attacks, all the rules are set aside. We fall back on our survival instincts where anything goes. Social control is removed, and the sudden rush of relief at surviving, and the personal sense of power isn't repressed for a time. In a way, maybe its a kind of HEY, WE'RE ALIVE victory celebration, NO RULES!!! Babies are only a byproduct of that.

BB
Raindancer

talamh
November 14th, 2001, 08:21 AM
If it is simply the unconscious need to reproduce, then that wouldn't account for those of us who have "reproduced" and are no longer fertile... and still are ... ummm... bad as bunnies. Yes.. people in their fifties and more still have sex.

It was in interesting article, and while i agree that the good physchotherapist might be right, i lament that people are still so guilt-ridden about sex that he *is* right.

If people had a more open and healthy attitude about sex, if they didn't feel that they had to somehow "justify" it, then the act of making love would always dwell in the moment as a celebration of life and love and light.

Sex is treated like a commodity so much of the time in our society... i'll have sex with you if you give me such and such... or i'll buy this and in return people will want to have sex with me... or the normal pattern just got disrupted so i can get away with this now. It should be holistic.. body, mind and spirit... a gift to be shared... not a guilty reward for good, society-sanctioned behaviour. bb talamh

Twilight
November 14th, 2001, 11:06 AM
Originally posted by talamh anEiac
If it is simply the unconscious need to reproduce, then that wouldn't account for those of us who have "reproduced" and are no longer fertile... and still are ... ummm... bad as bunnies. Yes.. people in their fifties and more still have sex.

sure it does! just because something has served its function doesn't mean it stops being. your ovaries don't just shrivel up and get expelled from your body just because they don't work any more! by the same rote, behavioral patterns still manifest in humans, even long after they are no longer useful. i know a 22 year old girl who still sucks her thumb... and there are probably lots of 50 year olds who still mate... the unconsious need to reproduce could still manifest in post-menopausal women.

SpikesPet5150
November 14th, 2001, 11:36 AM
The only reason I don't think it's necessarily true is because I don't feel it. I'm completely anti-touching, anti-closeness in times of chaos and trauma. And I know I'm not the only one.
~Bree

talamh
November 14th, 2001, 11:39 AM
Ahh.. so that's why i do it. i'll be sure to tell my girlfriend. Giggle. bb talamh

flar7
November 14th, 2001, 12:01 PM
its fun! :boing::boing: going at it like only smilies can.

Siren
November 14th, 2001, 09:01 PM
I am not sure about having sex in the face of danger...but when i am angry and frustrated....wooo hooo....i am worse than a rabbit..*grin*

well, hey, i am worse than a rabbit anyway...but especially when i am frustrated and angry...which is why I need to get laid!