Attack of the Birds and the Bees

[Imbrium]

A few days ago my nine-year old son asked, quite specifically, how it is that his dna is half mine and half his father's, and exactly how that all works.

Weellll, I don't know what happened to my speech center, but I think it imploded, and my tounge ran away in horror. I've always been very direct with my little un's (which is why he just came out and asked) but I find myself feeling beyond akward about explaining the subtle, damp and often weird nuances of human physiology. So, I just mumbled something about having to fix dinner and that I'd explain later.

Later came and went and I still haven't got a clue how to tackle this. What's wrong with me?!! Where's my backbone? ARrrrrrggghh!

Anyway, I'd hand him over to his father, but since his father up and left, that's not an option. So, for all you guys and gals who've had children and faced this question, or for those that were on the recieving end of a bird and bees talk, how was it handled? What do you suggest? Are there any good books on the topic?

In addition, I'm also going to have to tackle homosexuality, because my brother's gay, and quite out of the closet. I need to handle all of this in a positive manner. ...(My son's been quite impatient with me about all of this..."Why are you so busy mom?!!" Me: "Here, take out the trash...")

[aluokaloo]

There are plenty of good children's books that deal with that question. As for the homosexuality book, I read that you don't even have to go into gay sex, right then and there, just reply that gas/lesbians are people who fall in love with other men/women. I was reading one of those books about different ways of coming out to family/friends/work etc.

[Shanti]

I took it from the science approach...biology...theres lots of stuff on it even pics that show the chromosomes in the egg and sperm and how it all comes together when the sperm meets egg and how the cell then divides and on and on.
I dont know..the biology was easy for me and my kids.

The homosexuality...my kids were quite aware of love not discriminating. I was blunt there as I am with everything. If they have the brains to ask...they are ready for blunt, factual truth.

Just be blunt and factual.

[Imbrium]

I took it from the science approach...biology...theres lots of stuff on it even pics that show the chromosomes in the egg and sperm and how it all comes together when the sperm meets egg and how the cell then divides and on and on.
I dont know..the biology was easy for me and my kids.

The homosexuality...my kids were quite aware of love not discriminating. I was blunt there as I am with everything. If they have the brains to ask...they are ready for blunt, factual truth.

Just be blunt and factual.

Ahhhh, well, I have this problem with bluntness. I try, really, but then I begin to feel a bit queezy. Still, you're right. I'm going to have to tackle the issue sooner or later.

[Shanti]

The hard question to answer...how does the sperm get to the egg!!!

We watched nature video's and discussed mating in all different species...so they saw lion and antelope porn!! They had to use their own brains to get the picture for the 'people do it a little different' part...well sometimes people do it different...umm face to face!! LOL

[Ceres]

He prolly has a vague idea, that would be a good place to start. Ask him what he knows and how he thinks that works, and if it pretends he hasnt a clue, then you will have to tackle it head on. If he talks about what he knows, correct mistakes and give as much as you think he can handle. I would approach it scientifically at first, explaining the sperm and egg thing and see how far he gets with questions about how the sperm and egg meet. If he does, now is the time to talk about the importance of whatever values you hold dear about sexuality because this is your big chance ;) If homosexuality comes up on this particular discussion, you can explain it as being different, like some people are born with long arms or black hair or brown eyes and like swimming and ice cream as opposed to short armed blue eyed blondes who like hiking and seafood.
Good luck and kudos to you for not passing it off on some other male since his father isnt in the picture - its important kids see sex talk is open with mom and dad for later. You want him to feel he can approach you. A book isnt a bad idea either, so long as he is clear he can come to you about ANYTHING.

[streghamadre]

I have no idea how to have the talk with a boy, but my daughter and I keep a pretty open line of communication. I was pregnant with her brother when she was seven, and she loved reading through my pregnancy books. Then she would come and ask more specific questions. Since she's female, and will go through some of the things I did, to me it didn't seem so hard.

Now, when the boy gets older, well, I can feel myself blushing right now.

As for homosexuality, it's amazing what a child raised in an open-minded environment picks up. When my daughter was eight, we were visiting a lesbian couple that I'm friends with, and their young daughter. Driving home, my daughter asked, which one is S's mother? So I start to say, well they both are, blahblahblah. She said, I *know* that part, I just wanted to know which one carried the baby!

[Imbrium]

I'm glad I got some responses! I was worried that nobody would pick this thread up...so now I have a little encouragement under my belt.

Probably the reason for my worry is that my son is exposed to a great deal of sexuality at his age level with friends and at school. Pure disinterest has kept him from knowing the details, but once he knows a little, he's going to begin asking questions...and I need to be frank with him. He's at an age where girls are beginning to be sexually active...(Yes, I know, nine.....I can't control the other kids in the neighborhood, just be aware.) and I don't want a lapse of communication to be a problem in the future.

Well, I'm off to pluck up my nerve....

[aluokaloo]

I have no idea how to have the talk with a boy, but my daughter and I keep a pretty open line of communication. I was pregnant with her brother when she was seven, and she loved reading through my pregnancy books. Then she would come and ask more specific questions. Since she's female, and will go through some of the things I did, to me it didn't seem so hard.

Now, when the boy gets older, well, I can feel myself blushing right now.

As for homosexuality, it's amazing what a child raised in an open-minded environment picks up. When my daughter was eight, we were visiting a lesbian couple that I'm friends with, and their young daughter. Driving home, my daughter asked, which one is S's mother? So I start to say, well they both are, blahblahblah. She said, I *know* that part, I just wanted to know which one carried the baby!


:rotfl: Thats cute!