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Faery-Wings
November 15th, 2001, 08:24 AM
And nope, I don't mean after you have grounded them. :D

My son, 5 yo, was talking to me the other night after dinner. He had a substitute teacher at school and he told me she didn't know very much. (That in itself was kinda funny :p) But he went on to say that she said that witches weren't real. S I said that Halloween witches aren't real, but I left it at that. he continued on saying that witches were like monsters and only pretend. I just wan't sure how to respond to that.

He knows vaguely that I believe in a Goddess and a God, not just a God like Grandpa (a very Catholic Grandpa at that). I have also told him that many people believe in many different types of Gods too. And he knows that we respect nature and all of life and that special energy connects us all together. So he has some of the basic Pagan ideas down.

Now, I don't consider myself a witch...yet... but I hope to someday. But I am not sure of the implications of using that word around a young child.

How have you all dealt with this issue?


Chris

Yvonne Belisle
November 15th, 2001, 09:13 AM
My children are older for the most part so I think it's a bit easier for me. The older ones know and are ok with it we had a few problems here and there where one would come back from church with a friend and say witches are bad. I normally just fix them with a look and ask if that is what they think of me or my husband because those same people would consider us witches. So far it has worked wonders. I think the reason it works is because I am asking them to think for themselves and to judge someone they know namely me. They then look at it from the point of someone they havve known all thier lives and someone who they haven't and so far I win. They don't think witches are evil. :) You could try the same basic aprouch with your little one if you aren't afraid he will tell people you don't want knowing.

emraldshadowcat
November 15th, 2001, 03:15 PM
I think of "witches" the same way I think of angels and demons.... not all angels were good (lucifer was an angel) and so therefore, all demons can't be bad.....that is just my theory....

StormChaser
December 5th, 2001, 11:01 AM
*chuckles* Lucifer wasn't bad either..

He was perfect.
God wasn't apparently if he felt the necessity to create something perfect *meaning he saw perfection as soemthing other than himself* And then didnt want to share a piece of the pie with his perfect image.

*oops.. opened a can of worms*
*trys to put the lid on quick*


My cousins all call me a Witch. They remember that over Wiccan.
They also call me Cousin, and The Best.
I think it's all pretty synonymous.


The implications of using any word with a child are in the teachings of the definition. If you teach your child that Witch isn't always good, and isnt always bad *let them watch Wizard of OZ or even Into The Woods"..

"Witches can be right, Giants Can be good, You decide What's Right, You decide what's good. Just remember, someone is on your side. Someone else is not. While we're seeing our side, maybe we forgot. They are not alone. No one is alone"

Teaching a child is sort of like drawing. First you draw your guidelines.. but not too heavy... because later when you start defining things more.. you have to be able to erase those straight lines and soften the hard edges.

Twilight Garden
December 8th, 2001, 01:16 PM
My 8yo step-daughter does call me a witch, but she is very cautious about when and where and who she is with. She's actually quite mature about it. She used to go to a private Christian school. Their intollerance of so many things taught her that she has to be careful. She saw it and picked it up on her own. (She now goes to a School of the Arts, not the Christian school, and she feels much more free.)

Lavender
December 9th, 2001, 05:10 AM
My son knows I'm a witch. He doesn't tell his friends, mainly because it doesn't come up in the conversation. He knows the difference from what I am & the warty green persona that most people think of as witches. It's something that he's grown up with & I've explained in varying degrees as he got older.

Faery-Wings
December 10th, 2001, 08:29 AM
I think I will wait until he is a bit older before I use the word around him. And many more years to tell my daughter. She can't keep a secret to save her life yet. Even as I was telling her to not tell me, she blurted out what my son bought me for Xmas.:rolleyes: :) .

As they get older they will have a better understanding of the implications of being open and be stronger in saying "No you are not like that" as Yvonne's kids do.

Ahhh, they are gonna out me yet!:p

Chris

Neek
January 1st, 2002, 04:47 AM
Hi ........ my 'adult' family (brothers, sister and parents) all call me a witch ...... I think my sister is the only one that actually perceives the implications of the 'label' as she is one too :)

However, my children (2 girls 9 & 7) both call me and themselves witches and are proud of it ( I do think Sabrina has alot to do with their perception of witchcraft!). I ask them not to tell people as they might treat us different ( our beliefs are our business).

Both girls go to church on a Sunday with our neighbours, which I am not really very happy about but I won't stop them from going as it is always their choice to do so. I always give my view point on what they have learnt, which is usually different to what they have learnt. And they always enjoy my interpretation of their lesson!

Blessed Be All

Neek

Twilight Garden
January 1st, 2002, 10:55 PM
Neek... It's a little different to see that your children are proud to say that they (and you) are witches, and they go to church with the neighbors. It's good, I think, that they aren't afraid of the term. Do they understand yet, that the church they go to with their friends might not like them being witches? They are young, so no need to cloud them with the idea, if it's not there. I was just wondering? btw...Good for you, to allow them to do as they feel! I like, too, that you listen what they've learned and give your own interpretation.

MammaStar
January 1st, 2002, 11:02 PM
My son doesn't call me anything but Mom these days. I've just started, as you know Chryssi, to start explaining to him what I believe in. I KNOW i'm not ready to have him call me a witch, because, he too cannot keep a secret for his life. See, Chryssi, it's not just your daughter. He is 9 and school for him is not the best place for him. He's smart, but as I've said in previous posts, a big child for his age. He's picked on a lot and that's why i won't come out to even him. Also, not a lot of people know. Eshallet, of course, my mom, brother & best friend. A few friends that don't live around here as well.

I like Yvonne's approach and as I teach my son more & more of my path, I will start using that explanation to him. I have in a sense and he sees nothing wrong with me or people like me.

Yvonne Belisle
January 2nd, 2002, 08:27 PM
Well curently I have one Christian one too young one semijewish I will need to see about getting her to synagog my family will be so happy and one undecided that just got his baseball tarot deck for christmas and is eager to use it. When they are older and have looked into other religions is soon enough for them to know their hearts true path and I will support them in whatever choices they make.

Neek
January 3rd, 2002, 05:51 AM
Originally posted by LunarMist
Neek... It's a little different to see that your children are proud to say that they (and you) are witches, and they go to church with the neighbors. It's good, I think, that they aren't afraid of the term. Do they understand yet, that the church they go to with their friends might not like them being witches? They are young, so no need to cloud them with the idea, if it's not there. I was just wondering? btw...Good for you, to allow them to do as they feel! I like, too, that you listen what they've learned and give your own interpretation.

hi LunarMist ......... fortunately the majority of the community I live in is very accepting of all races and creeds. Although I do try to deter the girls from announcing to one and all our beliefs. As I said our beliefs are our business. The church side of our community is actually quite small so I am not too bothered about their reaction.

I have lived in this community for 7 years now and the more I get to know the people here the more witches I meet :). The majority of people moved here in the late 60's early 70's so there are quite a few 'old hippies' that still reside here and have brought their children up as pagans. I think that is what drew me to live here in the first place.

BB
Neek

StormChaser
January 3rd, 2002, 01:56 PM
I still don't know why people teach thier kids to say Witch in the first place. Saying Wiccan or Pagan is far less "offensive" the shock value and provacativeness is significantly less as is the possible harm.

For Example from personal experience:
Calling myself a witch:
"can you make a pencil stand on its end?" "can you levitate" "can you ride a broom" "you believe in satan!" "I'm telling my mom"
"you're evil" "you're wearing satans symbol"

calling myself Wiccan
"what's that" "What do you do?" "Do you believe in God"
"Do you have a bible?" "Do you believe in Jesus" "Do you go to church" "Oh, I have a friend whos..." "why are you wearing satans symbol?"

note.. the tone is completely different. Try it as a tester sometime.

Myst
January 3rd, 2002, 02:52 PM
Some people believe a word can be used for what it was meant for, not just what meaning some people seem to be ignorant to get past.

That's why I use it. That and I'm not Wiccan, and Wiccans are not equitable to Witches.

StormChaser
January 3rd, 2002, 03:15 PM
That is true. Not all witches are wiccans, not all wiccans are witches, by personal definition. I've yet to see everyone agree on which witch is which.

There's using a words properly, and then there's properly addressing people.

Sometimes if you want someone to take you for what you are, or extend their mind beyond the limits they have thus far pushed it to be more understanding and knowlegable, you have to relate to them at their level. Which means starting the redifining, or fine tuning the definitions or assumptions they already have in terms and in ways that won't upset them, freak them out, or be beyond their current scope of vision. It's not being overprotective, but it is not giving others more than they can chew or leaving a bitter taste that is unpalatable.

Old Witch
January 3rd, 2002, 04:27 PM
My kids are grown, the youngest is 16, they've never known any thing other than a Mama witch. Some of their closest friends know. They don't much care. Yes, my kids call me a witch, they even call me an Old Witch................. at least I think it's witch........It just never was an issue around the house.

blue.1
January 3rd, 2002, 04:43 PM
MM All,
I asked a similar question on another web-site a while ago. I've a 9yr old son who asks the odd question about my beliefs and I was in two minds as to what to do.... The advice I was given was, go with what your heart says....... If you think they're old enough and wise enough to understand, then fine. I've explained to him about Pagans and their beliefs, but thought it best at the moment not to mention the word Witch. He's at an impressionable age where people can tell him all sorts of rubbish if he turns round in conversation and says 'My Mum's a Witch'. People can be really cruel, especially other children :( So at the moment I'm treading very carefully as to what he knows.....
Bright Blessings,
Blue :D

StormChaser
January 3rd, 2002, 05:16 PM
Old Witch: It sounds like you do not or have not included your children in your faith or is it practice? Just Curious.

I grew up wiccan, it wasn't me saying I was a wiccan or a witch that wound up being troublesome. It was mainly my faither demanding equality in the middle of class that got me flack. And lets not forget the other beautiful part of your parents making a stink about religious equality in the classroom:
As if the basic homework wasn't annoying enough... now in addition to having to do an easter basket, you have to do an ostara basket too.. and an oral report on it.

I have a few things I call my father.. heh.. i wouldn't say any of them were as gentle as the term "witch".
*lol*

Myst
January 3rd, 2002, 05:27 PM
You have an excellent point StormChaser, and well put too.

When people ask I tell them I'm Pagan. When they go "oh, that means you're a tree hugger right" I can say "well actually yes, and..."

Old Witch
January 3rd, 2002, 11:59 PM
Yes, I included them in my beliefs and they took a lot of good along with them. They have chosen their own paths and have grown to be good men( except my oldest is a (gasp) Republican) so my paganess served them well. There's just an awful lot of silliness in this household. They respect my way and are always pointing out new books, articles, people etc. I'm sorry I gave a wrong impression.

StormChaser
January 4th, 2002, 01:48 AM
Old Witch: Not wrong impression, just inquiry.

I know a lot of pagan parents who have opted to not include their children in their faith as a means to not bias them. And an ex of mine, his parents did not teach him any faith at all, and he kinda regreted that because it made it harder for him when he felt faith.. and had no clue in what exactly he placed his faith.
Just really curious as to the out come of your teaching if you did or did not include them. Such things interest me.

~Storm Chaser

Myst
January 4th, 2002, 05:32 AM
Ok, want another perspective?

I was raised without religion. I chose my own. My parents support me in every way, and we even have great discussions about it.

I plan to teach my kids if they ask or want to participate, and encourage them to church or bible school (which I went to and loved for years) if they like.

Old Witch
January 4th, 2002, 01:51 PM
My kids also have a Christian Dad, So they were exposed to both religions. It helped them make up their minds. Mixed(?) marriages do work, we've been married for 28 yrs.

StormChaser
January 4th, 2002, 02:50 PM
so it is all in relations and communications not in whether you aim to teach or not teach it seems. Pretty good.


~Storm

reanna
January 4th, 2002, 08:45 PM
My kids do and don't. They know that my witchy friends come to visit once a week and they ask if the witches come tonight(it is cute actually because they are so close to them, it is like asking if the family is coming over)
My daughter refers to herself as "the little witch" and I am "momma witch"

My son, not too much from him. He is by nature quite a quiet one though.
However, they have been told by friends that "witches" are not real and they will argue the point to the finish. They will start out with the simple version of "Halloween" style witches are not real. If that doesn't end the conversation, it will continue with "real witches are not green faced and warted and can not fly or pull things out of thin air" if that does not finish it.... it proceeds to Witches are merely "wise" woman who undestand the world around them better than most people and take care of the things that we are blessed with. It is a religion called "Wicca"

I am actually pretty proud of the way they handle it. They will stick to the facts and hold thier own. Now, granted... they haven't been exposed to other forms of paganism yet, because I am wiccan and so are most of the friends that I have, but they will be. I want them to be well exposed to all things available. Given all of the right tools, facts and information...they can make a good decision for themselves one day on what they would like to be. I mean..their father is an aethiest...so they have both sides of the coin in thier own home. Outside of home... many of our/thier family and friends are catholic and christian in one form or another, so they are already exposed to a diverse array of viewpoints. I will not have them believe that there is a hell though.... That is where I draw the line. I have told them both that I believe in a form of heaven, but not a hell. Then I gave them a explanation of re-incarnation that they could understand. They liked it and have stuck with it.
I am proud of them both.


Wow! Went way off on a tangent there. Sorry.
That is what happens when I can't get to the boards to post for months(over 90 pages to read) and I have to jump in with both feet and go on and on and on..........

I have missed you all!!!!

I am off to read some more!

seawitch
January 4th, 2002, 08:56 PM
Originally posted by Old Witch
My kids also have a Christian Dad, So they were exposed to both religions. It helped them make up their minds. Mixed(?) marriages do work, we've been married for 28 yrs.

my girl also has a christian dad. and while the marriage didn't hold. the parenting is going quite well we have mutual love and respect, for each other.
and they both call me a witch. sometimes not in the good sense.

Lavender
January 4th, 2002, 09:54 PM
Reanna! It's great to see you back! Miss your dancing dot. :D

What great kids you have...you did good! :D

reanna
January 5th, 2002, 07:38 AM
Originally posted by Wildchild
Reanna! It's great to see you back! Miss your dancing dot. :D

What great kids you have...you did good! :D




Awwww...shucks.... (blushes and slaps face)

Thanks hun!!!

Faery-Wings
January 5th, 2002, 09:49 AM
Wow, not many people answered when I first posted this, now this thread is really going strong. I am taking in all of these different perspectives and points being made.

Right now I consider myself a Pagan, and Storm Chaser, you are right, it sounded to me too, that it is a less strong term than "witch." A year ago I would not have dreamed of calling myself a witch. Wiccan maybe, even though I am not Wiccan. It just had a ring of respect to it. But here, a year later, I feel much closer to Witch than Wiccan.

Hopefully as my kids get older, I'll be closer to coming out. I don't feel that they are ready to hear and associate the word "witch" with dear old mom yet. Aslo, I want to learn more about all diffeerent religions to expose them to a lot of different ideas. At this point again, that is too much for a 3 yo and a 5 yo. So with all my celebrations and teachings so far, it has been simple. (For Yule, I called it the Sun's b-day and we ate lemon bars for his birthday instead of cake :)). I guess if I go really slow, by the time they are ready to know the truth in what I believe and am, they will already know many little things and it won't seem odd to them at all.

I appreciate your insights!

Chris

Faery-Wings
January 5th, 2002, 09:52 AM
How are you?? You hanging in ok? We have missed you lots around here. Good to see you back!

:D:D:D

Chris

reanna
January 5th, 2002, 11:00 PM
Originally posted by chryssi1
How are you?? You hanging in ok? We have missed you lots around here. Good to see you back!

:D:D:D

Chris

I am back and I really missed you guys! You were not far from my thoughts at most times, even if I could not get myself to the computer to come and say hello. You all have grown to mean so much to me. I just wanted you to know that as sappy as it sounds!

I am hanging in so far, but more turbulence is up and coming. I will hang on by the wing if necessary but I refuse to go down!!
(self empowerment talking)
However if you want to send some positive vibes on up my way...... it really would be appreciated. !! I can use all the energy I can get......

Thanks!

reanna
January 5th, 2002, 11:02 PM
Originally posted by chryssi1

(For Yule, I called it the Sun's b-day and we ate lemon bars for his birthday instead of cake :)). I guess if I go really slow, by the time they are ready to know the truth in what I believe and am, they will already know many little things and it won't seem odd to them at all.

I appreciate your insights!

Chris


That is a wonderful idea!!! I love it!!! May I borrow it to put into my Kids book?

Faery-Wings
January 6th, 2002, 09:15 AM
Originally posted by reanna


I am back and I really missed you guys! You were not far from my thoughts at most times, even if I could not get myself to the computer to come and say hello. You all have grown to mean so much to me. I just wanted you to know that as sappy as it sounds!

I am hanging in so far, but more turbulence is up and coming. I will hang on by the wing if necessary but I refuse to go down!!
(self empowerment talking)
However if you want to send some positive vibes on up my way...... it really would be appreciated. !! I can use all the energy I can get......

Thanks!

You can do it- from what I know of you from here, you seem like an incredibly strong and caring person. I will be sure to send some positive energy to you and will include you in my prayers. Let me know if there is anything else I can do.

Chris

Faery-Wings
January 6th, 2002, 09:18 AM
Originally posted by reanna



That is a wonderful idea!!! I love it!!! May I borrow it to put into my Kids book?

Of course! The kids helped me bake them and we broke the eggs and talked about how they are yellow like sun and then added the lemons, also yellow. They had a blast and it really helped it all sink in. A week later, we were outside on the full moom, and she said, "that's the full moon. And is it still the sun's b-day?" Not bad for a three yo. :D

SpanishFairy
January 23rd, 2002, 08:51 PM
I have 2 kids ages 5 and 3 i just worry what theyll call me or what theyll think of me being a witch.
its really something to think about.

Flar's Freyja
January 23rd, 2002, 10:06 PM
Sorry that I can't be much help to you - I didn't have to deal with this issue when my kids were small but they always thought I was strange anyway.

My youngest is 18 and he had the opportunity to go to a few Wiccan meetings while he was recently in Air Force Basic Training. He told me he went to get out of having to do something else! He did learn a few things and although he didn't decide that this is his path right now, he understands me better.

When he was home for a few weeks, I was attempting to doctor a stray cat on our property and he said "Ya frikkin' Wiccan!" :D

How's that for being called a witch?

Skye_McCarthy
February 1st, 2002, 09:02 PM
I'm not sure about what to tell my children (I haven't any yet), but I have a slight problem with the word "witch" myself. I told my parents a couple of years ago that I was into Wicca and my mother was convinced it was "just a phase". But she actually was asking me about it the other day (so that's a plus)...but anyway my stepfather said something about people at the church they go to asking why I wasn't there and he said "what am I supposed to tell them, you're a witch?"...it was so cold and calious..it made me very angry for him to twist the word so much..to make it sound so evil. I'm not sure if its best to tell your children you're a "witch" because there are so many negative connotations, but I see no problem telling them that you're Wiccan, or Pagan...
Another example...when I was working retail at a certain store that shall remain nameless...I requested Beltane off...and my boss asked why so I told her it was a religious holiday for me..and she asked what my religion was so I told her I was Wiccan. Well after I came back from my day off she had told one of the other employees why I had taken off and the girl was acting very weird around me...and someone asked me what my religion was..so I again I said Wicca...and the other girl said..."Oh I know what that is" and gave me this evil look. After that she told everyone in the store that I was a witch...a few people actually talked to me about it and realized I wasn't going to hex someone or something...but most of them really would avoid me after that.
Basically I think that its hard enough for kids to grow up as it is...I'm not sure if telling them their parent is a witch is the best idea...
just my opinion...
blessed be

Faery-Wings
March 29th, 2002, 08:57 AM
*Bumpity bump*

Flar's Freyja
March 30th, 2002, 04:13 PM
Mine think I've gone 'round the bend but use it to their advantage. The other day I came home to find that one of the bunches of dried mint hanging from my kitchen ceiling had either fallen or was knocked down by one of the cats and there was a mess on the floor. When I asked my son why he hadn't picked it up, he said "Oh, I thought it was some kinda ritual or something."

:T

EmilyFair
April 15th, 2002, 02:38 PM
i have only been studying and really living the path for just over a year now...and the first time i wore a pentangle pendant outside my shirt, and my kids saw it, my son (he's 13) said..."mom! you are wearing an evil symbol!" i just giggled and showed him what the symbol represents....and told him how it made me happy to wear it, as it represents my beliefs in spirit. he was quite satisfied with the explanation, and i have never hid any of my jewlery from him or his sister. i keep my books and things around the house, never hide a web site i may be reading, and encourage questions always. my daughter (she's 10) loves to look at my stones, she even has some of her own, along with a nifty nightmare spell she recites every night before bed with her citrine. i have explained that tho we "grew up" catholic, i feel that religion has alot of things within it that dont make sense to me, and make me unhappy, whereas following the pagan/wiccan path makes me happy, and i am surethat is really what god/dess wants for all of us, no?

they accept that their mommy is a witch, tho i have only heard them refer to me as pagan, i guess they know also, that saying their mom is a pagan is easier explained than their mom is a witch.

they too, enjoy learning and the freedom of the pagan path, and i see it brings them happiness too...my son has taken up meditation, and has expressed interest in the craft. my daughter loves to play with my tarot cards, and loves the "whimsical tarot".

i guess many religions have their stigmas....and there will always be someone out there that will not accept you for your beliefs, no matter what those beliefs are...my philosophy is to live life and teach my children that we can believe in whatever makes us happy....as long as it harm none...

blessed be & peace to all..................~em

p.s. sorry for the extremely long post...::gets down from her soap box:: heehee+

Yvonne Belisle
April 15th, 2002, 09:14 PM
Welcome to the Pagan Family forum of Mystic Wicks. No well written post is too long and that was well written:)

EmilyFair
April 15th, 2002, 10:03 PM
thank you yvonne

i have only been a member of mystic wicks for a few days, and already feel as if i have come home....

and i must say......it feels great to be home

~em