Codehappy Kid
November 16th, 2001, 04:24 PM
Hello everyone, and welcome to the MysticWicks Not-Quite-A-Ritual thread! The purpose of this thread is to invent quasi-magickal rituals. Of course, our intent is to be as humorous as possible. I will be the judge of submitted rituals, and will post mine only for the sake of creativity, not judging. The criteria for a good submission are:
1. (classy) Humor. 1-10.
2. Detail. 1-5.
3. (extra credit) 5+ points for each newbie who tries your ritual. ;)
Let's get it started!
Food Creation Ritual
This ritual must be conducted inside a circle. You must use tiny shreds of paper to form the circle. There are two options for performing this ritual: inside, or outside on a clear, non-windy day. After creating the circle, you must sit in a Yoga stance of your choosing. Breathe deeply. Do you smell the fragrances of the air around you? If so, you most likely have a problem of some sort. Get up and take care of the burning soup or whatever. Then replace yourself in the circle of paper shreds.
Breathe deeply again. Now concentrate on creating matter from the source that sustains the Universe. Concentrate. Do you feel relaxed? Perhaps joyful and at peace? Good. Close your eyes. Feel the pulse of life flowing into you and through you. It is this pulse that enpowers you to do all things. The Universe is always waiting to lend its infinite resources to you. Sit and feel the pulse inside your circle. Visualize the food you wish to eat. Its aroma permeates your being. Its sumptuous taste saturates your soul. Do you feel the wonderful communion with this ethereal nourishment? Good. Enjoy it. It's all right to smile. Smile like a delighted kitten. Sit and lick your lips. Can you taste and smell your favorite food in the whole Universe? Good.
Now get your arse to the supermarket, you moron, and tell your kids to get the cookware ready.
1. (classy) Humor. 1-10.
2. Detail. 1-5.
3. (extra credit) 5+ points for each newbie who tries your ritual. ;)
Let's get it started!
Food Creation Ritual
This ritual must be conducted inside a circle. You must use tiny shreds of paper to form the circle. There are two options for performing this ritual: inside, or outside on a clear, non-windy day. After creating the circle, you must sit in a Yoga stance of your choosing. Breathe deeply. Do you smell the fragrances of the air around you? If so, you most likely have a problem of some sort. Get up and take care of the burning soup or whatever. Then replace yourself in the circle of paper shreds.
Breathe deeply again. Now concentrate on creating matter from the source that sustains the Universe. Concentrate. Do you feel relaxed? Perhaps joyful and at peace? Good. Close your eyes. Feel the pulse of life flowing into you and through you. It is this pulse that enpowers you to do all things. The Universe is always waiting to lend its infinite resources to you. Sit and feel the pulse inside your circle. Visualize the food you wish to eat. Its aroma permeates your being. Its sumptuous taste saturates your soul. Do you feel the wonderful communion with this ethereal nourishment? Good. Enjoy it. It's all right to smile. Smile like a delighted kitten. Sit and lick your lips. Can you taste and smell your favorite food in the whole Universe? Good.
Now get your arse to the supermarket, you moron, and tell your kids to get the cookware ready.