Opinions needed...

[Laiste]

Ok. I will try to make this as short as possible! I moved 3 months ago and my friend has been promising to come and visit since I moved. Well she was here, twice, but only came up this way to look at houses (she is looking to move up this way too). She stopped by my house for a few minutes and then rushed out the door claiming she had soooo many things to do and just did not have the time to visit! Oh I'm so sorry you cooked all this food...we really didn't plan on staying...We never said we were coming for dinner!!! Well we had discussed her coming up and we planned on having an early supper together...I let it go the first time and the second time...but today was the last straw...again we had plans...they were coming up to visit us and have dinner together...then a few days later they were also going to look at some houses. Well they showed up at 10:30 in the morning...4 hours early...used my bathroom...and went off to meet the realtor...they got back to my house around 3:00...dinner was almost ready. As soon as she walked in the door she announced that she was tired and that they were not able to stay for dinner...well I told her exactly how I felt...which, was that I felt that I was being used as a stop-over for when they were in the area! Now what was I supposed to do with all the food I had prepared...and how was I going to explain to my son that his friend wasn't staying...he was so dissapointed. She only had to stay long enough for dinner and maybe a little coffee and she would have been on her way home by 5:00...not at all unreasonable!!! Well I've gone on long enough...what are you thoughts...what should I say to her...

[MammaStar]

Laiste, I think you've said it already. It's hard to explain to kids sometimes about certain things. Just tell him that his friends parents are too busy to spend any time.

[Laiste]

Yeah...I guess I did! but the problem is that my son can see right through it! He's aware that they are selfish and can't be bothered to do the right thing! When their last excuse was that one of their two new cars was having repairs done on it his response was....why don't they just use their other car! See where I'm coming from?? I just sent my frien an e-card...to try and explain...without anger...how I feel! Awaiting her response... :(

[Faery-Wings]

That sucks. One- because of what she is doing to you and that isn't fair. And two- because it is hurting your son and possibly his friendship with her son.

Unfortunately you can't do much but explain to him that some peopel don't value friendships as much as others. One of those sh**ty lessons in life.:mad:

Next time your friend calls and says she is coming up, can you conveniantly(sp?) be out of the house? Maybe she will get the idea she can't take you for granted?

Good luck. :)

Chris

[Laiste]

Yeah...I really should do that considering the last two times she pulled this I had changed my plans for her! I'll never do that again!

[Danustouch]

I'm not the type of person, to make excuses, and not be direct. If your friend is hurting your feelings,and the feelings of your child. You need to be direct. If she calls again, wanting to make plans with you...you say..."No..I'm sorry. I'm really tired of switching my plans for you, and having you not follow through. You have no idea the amount of trouble I've gone through, to accomodate you, And you've shown little respect for that. By not following through on the plans that we've made. Furthermore, you're hurting my sons' feelings. I'm tired of it. I'm sorry. But..I can't go on like this. So...no..you can't stop bye this time.". Period.

[Siren]

Don't let her stop by.....tell her that you are tired of being her "rest stop" for when she has to pee....and when she is ready to make a committment to spend some time with a friend, then she can come by....but only if she does not have any plans with realtors......

you may have to be brutal, but sometimes selfish people are just really blind with how awful they are treating others....

[Laiste]

well when she was here yesterday I told her exactly how I feel and now she sent me an email telling me how rude I was...can you believe... now I"M the rude one!!!:eyebrow: :huh: Now she has gone as far as to try and turn the table on me...and try to make me feel guilty for telling her how I hurt her!! Now she want's me to feel like I'm the one who did something wrong. why can't she just face up to what she did wrong??!! I am so upset now...I can't even breathe!!:( I think this situation is futile...I give up...I will not contact her for a while...I'm just too angry!:mad:

[bansidhe]

*huggles* dont let her make you feel guilty and dont give her the satisfaction of seeing you mad! juss remember that friends dont do thid and shes in the wrong!!!