la tortuga
August 28th, 2005, 12:58 AM
I'll try my best to make a long story short, but I can't guarantee that it won't be a handfull to take in.
I am 16 years old. Last year I went to the semiformal with this guy and we started dating not too long afterward. Most of what's been going on happened over the summer, so I didn't see him all the time, and so I didn't have a clue that any of this would happen. Since school has started, I've noticed him always being around and not only just being around, but always trying to correct EVERYTHING I do, whether my particular method works or not. I've been telling him, "Do you think I'm an idiot, because I'm not." almost every time he does this, but it's been getting worse. I signed up to do volunteer work and I just casually mentioned it in my plans for the weekend. I didn't want to tell him when I'd be going, but I figured that if I signed up early enough, he'd be too lazy to get out of bed and come. Come Friday afternoon, he's signed up for the same time slot as I am. I mentioned it to my mom and she said "Well, maybe he's just wanting to spend time with you," but that's not the feeling I've been getting. I feel like he's trying to monitor and control absolutely everything that happens in my life. I actually caught myself being thankful that he doesn't know where my locker is yet. Anyway, back to the story, today at Wal-Mart, I went school supplies shopping and he went with me. I also had a grocery list and we were looking for the items on the list. Well, we were looking for... ketchup, I think... and he actually pulled the shopping cart in a different direction than I was going. I finally got so tired of it that I let him push the cart on his own and went off wherever I felt like going. Then, when we were leaving I was scanning things at the self-checkout and he kept taking things OUT OF MY HANDS a trying to do it for me. I mean, come on... does he actually think I'm THAT incompetent?!?!?! Anyway, it came time to put the shopping cart away. He attempted to take it away from me and put it away for me, but I held on and told him "I can do it," and we actually began a physical struggle over who gets to put the cart away. I mean, it's ridiculus that we fought over it, but what's worse is that he thought that I couldn't do it by myself. Anyway, I got home and he called me and he said that his mother had a few questions written down for him to ask me. They were about MARRIAGE. (I'm still 16 in this part of the story, not any older...) I mean: 1. I hope they weren't his questions, because I'm uncomfortable with talking about something so soon. 2. I hope even harder that they weren't his mother's questions because she needs to butt out and let him figure things on his own because that's way too serious stuff to be talking about in high school, especially since I've only been dating him for four months. Well, anyway, he starts going off into his own personal question list which included "If I proposed at graduation, would you say yes?" My answer was "No." and then "Why not?" Umm... let's think, shall we? #1: That would ruin my ENTIRE future. #2: It would probably end up being the worst mistake I ever made. #3: I would not be ready for reasons 1,2 and otherwise. I mean, I could have handled his mom talking about getting married a little easier than him talking about it. Then the worst thing happened: He told me that he'd already looked into going to the same colleges as I was and this is basically what he said: "I don't mean to make you feel like you can never get away from me, but I think that we'll probably be seeing each other around for a significant amouont of time." I mean... I know he said that it's not what he meant by it, but I know he said it to trap me.
That's what I told my mom. She told me that I shouldn't stand it, and I don't plan to, but I've been debating on how long to give him to fix the problem. I've been telling him that I don't want to talk about getting married and whatever, but he keeps pushing the subject and pushing the subject and I can't get away from him, really. I've gotten to the point of almost non-responsiveness during telephone calls. My cousin is much older than I am, but the thing is... this is how her kind of ex-boyfriend started out and she's had to keep a phone log to see how often he calls and whaetver to show in the court of law for whenever she finally is fed up with it and decides to press sexual harassment charges. I'm getting kind of worried. I know I need to nip it in the bud, but I've been trying and it's like my garden shears aren't big enough. I'm just really kind of wondering if I should just go ahead and give up or give him even longer to have the chance to either fix the problem or try to trap me even more.
I am 16 years old. Last year I went to the semiformal with this guy and we started dating not too long afterward. Most of what's been going on happened over the summer, so I didn't see him all the time, and so I didn't have a clue that any of this would happen. Since school has started, I've noticed him always being around and not only just being around, but always trying to correct EVERYTHING I do, whether my particular method works or not. I've been telling him, "Do you think I'm an idiot, because I'm not." almost every time he does this, but it's been getting worse. I signed up to do volunteer work and I just casually mentioned it in my plans for the weekend. I didn't want to tell him when I'd be going, but I figured that if I signed up early enough, he'd be too lazy to get out of bed and come. Come Friday afternoon, he's signed up for the same time slot as I am. I mentioned it to my mom and she said "Well, maybe he's just wanting to spend time with you," but that's not the feeling I've been getting. I feel like he's trying to monitor and control absolutely everything that happens in my life. I actually caught myself being thankful that he doesn't know where my locker is yet. Anyway, back to the story, today at Wal-Mart, I went school supplies shopping and he went with me. I also had a grocery list and we were looking for the items on the list. Well, we were looking for... ketchup, I think... and he actually pulled the shopping cart in a different direction than I was going. I finally got so tired of it that I let him push the cart on his own and went off wherever I felt like going. Then, when we were leaving I was scanning things at the self-checkout and he kept taking things OUT OF MY HANDS a trying to do it for me. I mean, come on... does he actually think I'm THAT incompetent?!?!?! Anyway, it came time to put the shopping cart away. He attempted to take it away from me and put it away for me, but I held on and told him "I can do it," and we actually began a physical struggle over who gets to put the cart away. I mean, it's ridiculus that we fought over it, but what's worse is that he thought that I couldn't do it by myself. Anyway, I got home and he called me and he said that his mother had a few questions written down for him to ask me. They were about MARRIAGE. (I'm still 16 in this part of the story, not any older...) I mean: 1. I hope they weren't his questions, because I'm uncomfortable with talking about something so soon. 2. I hope even harder that they weren't his mother's questions because she needs to butt out and let him figure things on his own because that's way too serious stuff to be talking about in high school, especially since I've only been dating him for four months. Well, anyway, he starts going off into his own personal question list which included "If I proposed at graduation, would you say yes?" My answer was "No." and then "Why not?" Umm... let's think, shall we? #1: That would ruin my ENTIRE future. #2: It would probably end up being the worst mistake I ever made. #3: I would not be ready for reasons 1,2 and otherwise. I mean, I could have handled his mom talking about getting married a little easier than him talking about it. Then the worst thing happened: He told me that he'd already looked into going to the same colleges as I was and this is basically what he said: "I don't mean to make you feel like you can never get away from me, but I think that we'll probably be seeing each other around for a significant amouont of time." I mean... I know he said that it's not what he meant by it, but I know he said it to trap me.
That's what I told my mom. She told me that I shouldn't stand it, and I don't plan to, but I've been debating on how long to give him to fix the problem. I've been telling him that I don't want to talk about getting married and whatever, but he keeps pushing the subject and pushing the subject and I can't get away from him, really. I've gotten to the point of almost non-responsiveness during telephone calls. My cousin is much older than I am, but the thing is... this is how her kind of ex-boyfriend started out and she's had to keep a phone log to see how often he calls and whaetver to show in the court of law for whenever she finally is fed up with it and decides to press sexual harassment charges. I'm getting kind of worried. I know I need to nip it in the bud, but I've been trying and it's like my garden shears aren't big enough. I'm just really kind of wondering if I should just go ahead and give up or give him even longer to have the chance to either fix the problem or try to trap me even more.