Oh God...

[SimplyStrange]

:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(
Talk about a crappy month, eh? It seems as if everyone's luck just went, well, backwards... I was impressed to find that my luck actually picked up, that I was pleased...

Then I found out that my dad is dragging me to Utah to celebrate Christmas, a holiday I don't even want to celebrate, with my STEP family who doesn't even like me anyway...but there is good news, we get to go to Arkansas afterward to see my real family ^.^ (of course, this is after finding out that my mom had bought tickets to fly herself to Arkansas to visit her family without telling me or my brothers...)

However, I just found out that my uncle, who has been awaiting a kidney transplant for awhile now, has some sort of infection in his brain...and as much as I hate to say it, he probably won't be with us much longer....and I hate it, I hate it! I hate to think that my dad, who's already lost a father is losing a brother...next in line will be his mother, and after that there's no one... I've never had anyone I was close to die...never...how can you stand it? How do I take it?!?! For the love of God, will I be able to take it?! Will my dad??? And this Christmas...it'll probably be the last Christmas I'll see my uncle...and he won't even be him, probably, I doubt he'll be the same ol' uncle he always was... That and this Christmas will be the first Christmas I will see that I have declared myself non Christian...and the irony is that it'll be one of the most important to my Christian family... (I don't think this is the time to tell my family I'm turning Pagan...)

Hate to be such a downer...sorry for making you guys sad...just needed to talk... Thanks for listening...

...SS...

:wah:

[Twig]

My Friend,

May I suggest the MW peer counselers? I understand the grief, anger and sadness you must be feeling and that's why we are here.

If you ( or ANYone) feels the need, we will help in any way we can.

In the meantime, I am lighting incense and will say a prayer for guidance

Peace be with you,
Twig
:elf:

[bansidhe]

*mass huggles* for ss...that sux hun, but hang in there! i agree with twig (man, when dont i ?! :p) and ill remember ya tonight when i light my incense! :)

[Pheonix]

First fo all I'd like to say that I feel for you and i know that lide can't be that great right now. Dealing with death is nevr easy. Try to put things into terms that you can understand. I don't know what you r path is but whatever it is utilize it. If rituals are your thing, do one, basicly cope with things your own way. As for Christmas consoder it a time for family to meet with each other and spend time together, forget the Christain aspect of it. This might be your last time to see your uncle, and is boycotting it really what you want to do? I hope things woprk out for you and i also hope you keep us informed as to how you are doing, don't worry about bringing us down, we're her to listen to the roses and the thorns.
Brightest Blessings,
Pheonix:)

[MistOfTheSea86]

My Dear SS, *Hugs* This is never easy, and I wish there were words of comfort I could offer... Things will get better...<--- So cliche... You know how to reach me, It will be better in person... I love you SO much and will help you through this to the best of my capibilities through this hard time. :(

Love,


MIst

[flar7]

and try to notice all the good things. You WILL see your uncle(who knows when it will be the last time to see anyone?) and you will be with family, step-family, and more family. All good things.

It is very hard losing a relative, and it will never get easier. In my 36 years I have buried; my sister, 2grandfathers, 2 grandmothers, and some friends. I remember them all with a glad heart for the things we saw and did, and even just the memories of their faces brings joy and tears to my eyes.

As for it being Christmas, let it make you happy because they are happy. And whether you tell or not about being pagan is a deeply personal choice. (what would be the reasons, pros, and cons?)

Best wishes, luck, and love. All my heart. Be well.

[mysticvik]

I lost my dad just after christmas, in an explosion at th chemical plan he worked on. To make it worse, it was the day after my 20th birthday. The last thing he said to me was im going, i'll see you later. i believe he will someday, but maybe not in this life. the hardest part is remaining positive, when it hurts, the pain doesnt go away but it eases in time.

[SimplyStrange]

Thanks guys. About Christmas, I never really was going to take it as a religious thing. I'm just glad I get to be with my family. That's why I always liked Christmas. It was 'cause I get to see them. And you're right, Flar, about seeing my uncle again.

As for the thread in general. I was reading over it again...man, I really seemed like I freaked out! :)

It's hard and things will get better...

For now, I just need a hug :)

*HUGS TO ALL*

[MistOfTheSea86]

Originally posted by SimplyStrange
Thanks guys. About Christmas, I never really was going to take it as a religious thing. I'm just glad I get to be with my family. That's why I always liked Christmas. It was 'cause I get to see them. And you're right, Flar, about seeing my uncle again.

As for the thread in general. I was reading over it again...man, I really seemed like I freaked out! :)

It's hard and things will get better...

For now, I just need a hug :)

*HUGS TO ALL*



BIG HUGS!!!!!!

[Pheonix]

HUGS!

[bluebear]

Remember that the physical body is only a temporary home for the spirit. the body wears out and dies but the spirit lives on forever in the minds of loved ones and in the unity of all spirit.
Blessings
Bluebear

[MammaStar]

HUGE HUGS!!!!

[Lavender]

Hey, SS, you know a lot of the Christmas trappings have pagan meanings. As you celebrate with your Christian family, you can think of what the symbols mean to you. Think of it as celebrating the Winter Solstice or Yule.

It's tough to lose any love ones. My dad had cancer for 5 years. Each year, we thought it would be his last. I had finally decided that instead of worrying how little time we may have with him, I celebrated the time I spent with him & made each moment count. Over the years, I've lost a lot of friends & relatives. It doesn't get easy each time. I remember them all and cherish the memories I have of each of them.

[talamh]

Hey, SS - gentle hugs, hun. The pagan symbols thing is a good idea. Why not do a bit of research and then when you see a tree, a star, holly, mistletoe, etc. etc. you will be able to feel surrounded by traditions that origionated in pagan tradition. i always try to remember that it's all a celebration of the return of the light, whatever story we each chose to put on it. So whether it is the birth of the Christ Child or the rebirth of the Sun God, it's all a celebration of light and life.

i am so sorry about your uncle. It will be a difficult experience but it will also be a time to learn and grow. What you learn will be a gift to you from your uncle that you can carry with you always. If you have time to find a book, have a look at Starhawk's "The Pagan Book of Living and Dying"..... not definitive but a lot of good thoughts and ideas and experience.

May this turn out to be a very special time for you and your family..... a time to be together and to grow together - a time when differences and disagreements don't matter and when love and laughter and being with each other is an especial blessing. bb talamh