Switched at Birth~What would you do?

[Sowelu]

Your child is now 5 years old and you have found out that your child was switched at birth with another.
What would you do? Would you want your blood child back or keep the child you've loved and raised for the past 5 years?

[coyoger]

Good question. I would like to get to know the other child, but I have raised and loved the switched one since birth.

[Ceres]

The real question is: what makes a parent, blood relationships or bonding. I would say the latter, but I agree with Coyoger that I would want to meet my blood child and possibly have a close an ongoing relationship with the blood family of the child I raised.

I never understood the compulsion of hospitals to seperate the mother and infant unneccessarily at birth and in the early days. Sometimes they say its so the nurses can monitor them in the nursery, but who is going to pay closer attention:the mother one on one or a nurse with five babies to watch?

[Amethyst Rose]

The hospital I gave birth in didn't even have a nursery.....the only time the babies were taken away was to give them a bath the first day after birth, and I think he was only gone for like 1/2 an hour. Plus, immediately after he was born they gave him a wrist and ankle bracelet, and before they let me leave the hospital they matched both his ankle and wrist bracelet with my bracelet, to make sure he was mine. Darn good procedures there, I think. :)

[Ceres]

The hospital I gave birth in didn't even have a nursery.....the only time the babies were taken away was to give them a bath the first day after birth, and I think he was only gone for like 1/2 an hour. Plus, immediately after he was born they gave him a wrist and ankle bracelet, and before they let me leave the hospital they matched both his ankle and wrist bracelet with my bracelet, to make sure he was mine. Darn good procedures there, I think. :)

Yes. Most hospitals do have good procedures....NOW. Certainly not all though, yet. In any case, it baffles the mind why these procudures were thought to be a good idea ever :whatmewor

[Amethyst Rose]

Heh....live and learn. :)

[Ziana]

well, mine was carried to the nursery by her father and watched while they "stamped and tagged" her (his words). Plus she looks just like me so I know she's mine, but for the purpose of this hypothetical situation, I would want to continue to raise the child I had. However, I would want to get to know my biological child, as well as let the biological parents of my child get to know her.

I remember watching the Lifetime movie "Switched at Birth" and all I could think at the time was 'poor kid.' Her biological parents had been raising the child they thought was theirs for 8 or 9 years before the child died of a disease, and they found out they weren't her biological parents. Then all they could think of was getting 'thier' child back. While I could sympathize, what would have happened had the one child not died? Would they have then wanted to switch the children back anyway? Or would they have wanted to continue to raise the child? It was a bad situation for all involved.

[Ceres]

That would be heartbreaking.

[Wytchie]

well, mine was carried to the nursery by her father and watched while they "stamped and tagged" her (his words). Plus she looks just like me so I know she's mine, but for the purpose of this hypothetical situation, I would want to continue to raise the child I had. However, I would want to get to know my biological child, as well as let the biological parents of my child get to know her.

I remember watching the Lifetime movie "Switched at Birth" and all I could think at the time was 'poor kid.' Her biological parents had been raising the child they thought was theirs for 8 or 9 years before the child died of a disease, and they found out they weren't her biological parents. Then all they could think of was getting 'thier' child back. While I could sympathize, what would have happened had the one child not died? Would they have then wanted to switch the children back anyway? Or would they have wanted to continue to raise the child? It was a bad situation for all involved.

I saw that movie too, it really was heartbreaking. The biological parents in it seemed to have no concern about what was best for their child, it was just a case of 'we want our child back'..

Maybe partly because of that, I don't think I would want to swap back. I think after 5 years I would love the child I had raised as if they were my own anyway, plus I wouldn't want a child to go through unnecessary trauma because of the situation. I would be like a lot of others who have posted, I would like to have a relationship with my biological child, maybe as a sort of 'aunty' or something, and I would like for the child I had raised to have the same kind of relationship with his/her biological family, but I definitely wouldn't consider swapping the children.

[Ceres]

bump

[Kalika]

I really can't say.

But, I would think that your bond having grown with the child you have raised - and the people who have raised your biological child having a bond with him/her - you would continue to raise the child you have been raising, but maybe, if possible, try to bring your biological child into your life as well.

Complicated.

[Kalika]

Yes. Most hospitals do have good procedures....NOW. Certainly not all though, yet. In any case, it baffles the mind why these procudures were thought to be a good idea ever :whatmewor

When I delivered my son, they put a bracelet on his foot and wrist, one on my wrist, and one on daddy's wrist, and made sure all of them matched, and that the info was right before he was ever taken from the room for the first time.

THAT I think is important, because the wrong tags can be grabbed, and you wouldn't want that. There were stories about this very thing happening not all that long ago... but I can't remember which parenting magazine I was reading them in. :(

[WillowsMuse]

Like most, I would want to continue raising the child I had loved and cared for, but would like a relationship with my bio child and his/her parents.

[kal]

i would want my own blood child back it would be hard
but its the best thing in the long run

[DreamSpell333]

I would want to keep the child I raised,and have a relationship with my blood child.. As a friend to the parents until the child is old enough to know the truth... Im glad they've started the bands/alarm systems in the hospitals... If Hannah wasnt mine,I would be a wreck... I couldnt imagine going through that...

[Calen]

Good question. I would like to get to know the other child, but I have raised and loved the switched one since birth.

Same here. I would want to have a relationship with my biological child (I could see how she turns out, she could have me to ask any questions only I could answer) but I would continue to raise the child I had always thought of as mine.

[HorseCrow]

I would keep the switched child- it would be my child, same as if it had been adopted.
Thankfully, in my country, mother and child are not seperated at any point and in the case of c-section, the baby is taken straight to the father.

[Kalika]

I would keep the switched child- it would be my child, same as if it had been adopted.
Thankfully, in my country, mother and child are not seperated at any point and in the case of c-section, the baby is taken straight to the father.

That is good. :)

[KaidaMidnight]

Same as everyone.. I'd keep the child I raised, but would want to get to know my blood child.

The hospital that I gave birth to both our sons in, there would be no chance of that happening. They did EVERYTHING in the birth room. Not once did either of the boys leave the room. They brought the emergency machines when IC was born (our youngest), but didn't take him out of our sights. Then, I held them as they wheeled us to our room. They had a band on one leg and a band on one arm that matched 2 bands I wore. On the other leg, they had security tags, (if they were taken ANYWHERE off the maternity floor, the alarms would sound and noone would be able to leave the hospital til the baby that set the alarm off was found) If tests had to be done, they insisted that one of the parents came along to keep watch, and if that wasn't possible, a guard went with them. There was a nursery, (with a guards station across from it, had to check bands to even get into the nursery) but for the most part, the newborns were in the same rooms as the moms. RW & IC never left My (or hubby's) site the whole time we were in the hospital.

[Meadhbh]

Thats a tough question. But I think I would keep the switched child. After five years that child would be mine even if we weren't blood related. As for my own biological child, if they were happy in the home they were living in for the last five years there would be no reason for me to interfere baring some sort of medical situation, where a genetic match is importiant.

[WokeUpDead]

If my parents gave me up at birth I'd have no interest in meeting them. If I somehow ended up with a kid and then 5-10 years down the road it turns out they were switched then oh well. What are you supposed to do, switch them back after all that time? It would be easier on the kids to just not know it ever happened.

[Sowelu]

difficult....

[Ceres]

If my parents gave me up at birth I'd have no interest in meeting them. If I somehow ended up with a kid and then 5-10 years down the road it turns out they were switched then oh well. What are you supposed to do, switch them back after all that time? It would be easier on the kids to just not know it ever happened.

When I met my husband when he was 27, he had no interest in meeting his birth parents, but after we had our first child, he began to wonder who his birth parents were. So we looked up his birth mother, who had never had any other children and was delighted to meet us all and with whom we have a relationship and his birth father who wasnt interested in a relationship so that was that.

I think keeping it secret from the child would be wrong. Imagine how it would destroy your trust in your paretns when you eventually found out. certainly for medical reasons it would be useful to know your blood bonds.

[halfwaynowhere]

i dunno, i think it would be important to make contact with the other family involved, but i would still want the kid that i was raising... but just knowing where that other family is could be important, if there was any need for genetic information... other than that though, blood ties are important, but they aren't the ones that really matter... what matters is that the child is raised happy, safe, healthy, and loved...

[WokeUpDead]

I think keeping it secret from the child would be wrong. Imagine how it would destroy your trust in your paretns when you eventually found out. certainly for medical reasons it would be useful to know your blood bonds.
It might be, but I'm a cold, selfish, greedy person who should probably never have kids.

[pawnman]

The real question is: what makes a parent, blood relationships or bonding. I would say the latter, but I agree with Coyoger that I would want to meet my blood child and possibly have a close an ongoing relationship with the blood family of the child I raised.

I never understood the compulsion of hospitals to seperate the mother and infant unneccessarily at birth and in the early days. Sometimes they say its so the nurses can monitor them in the nursery, but who is going to pay closer attention:the mother one on one or a nurse with five babies to watch?

The hospital where we had the baby left her in the room with us. The room she was delivered in was the room we stayed in for two days.

[Philosophia]

I would keep the child, but also a relationship with my "by blood" child. If I am in a position to provide any financial or family help, I would.