Kodachi
September 7th, 2005, 09:43 PM
I just don't get it. Its like jumping on a lily, you're on it and then it slips away. I just don't feel normal, like myself. I feel like I understand everything but I then understand nothing and everything is nonsense and I get upset more often.
Ok lemme try to work this out (I'm a Mercury Rx so bear with me, its better in my mind than transfering on the page) All this summer - all this year I've been having nothing but complicated issues from college to job to people to just myself and my spirituality. I want to grow better and be better but it seems as if I really don't know how and when I do find a point, it isn't long before I'm back at square one thinking that I'm just wrong.
Ya see, I'm a psychic as well as a Witch. I always was told to meditate everyday and crap like that they way that I am told but it seems like no way I can really work with. I just feel like I can't work with me because I'm the one that messes up (sorry if I'm not making sense, I'm a poet). I want to be a better psychic and Witch (plus I've heard of the adage "Use it or lose it" I don't wanna lose my abilities). I've been told that the name of the game is just to build a better connection with the subconscious and even read an article on it where a person talked with himself in the form of a game until he found that he was bringing out his inner voice. Now I know that I already have mine and that I am highly psychic but it seems like, I feel fake sometimes like I'm just pretending cuz I'm not doing this stuff like they do in the movies (as if that's suppose to be how it is *roll eyes*). Now, when I was young, I was lonely and had no one to play with and especially no one to play with me, I "split my mind in two" just to have a person to talk to and help with my issue but I tried the question thing but it seems like I was on both ends of the line and the other person (the inner voice I guess, I call her "mind") was gone. I know that I do my best when I let my subconscious, "mind" do the work but to me, I feel like now I'm trying to see my own face by looking over my shoulder and watch a game with a bird's eye view while I'm one of the players. Its so hard. I feel like I'm shutting down and going no where really really fast. Then lets add the part where insecurity and unsureness was the main keyword of my summer due to job and school (and even are the keywords of now). I'm so stressed and it seems like nothing is happen while everything moves.
Can someone PM me so I can talk about this? Thanks for reading.
Ok lemme try to work this out (I'm a Mercury Rx so bear with me, its better in my mind than transfering on the page) All this summer - all this year I've been having nothing but complicated issues from college to job to people to just myself and my spirituality. I want to grow better and be better but it seems as if I really don't know how and when I do find a point, it isn't long before I'm back at square one thinking that I'm just wrong.
Ya see, I'm a psychic as well as a Witch. I always was told to meditate everyday and crap like that they way that I am told but it seems like no way I can really work with. I just feel like I can't work with me because I'm the one that messes up (sorry if I'm not making sense, I'm a poet). I want to be a better psychic and Witch (plus I've heard of the adage "Use it or lose it" I don't wanna lose my abilities). I've been told that the name of the game is just to build a better connection with the subconscious and even read an article on it where a person talked with himself in the form of a game until he found that he was bringing out his inner voice. Now I know that I already have mine and that I am highly psychic but it seems like, I feel fake sometimes like I'm just pretending cuz I'm not doing this stuff like they do in the movies (as if that's suppose to be how it is *roll eyes*). Now, when I was young, I was lonely and had no one to play with and especially no one to play with me, I "split my mind in two" just to have a person to talk to and help with my issue but I tried the question thing but it seems like I was on both ends of the line and the other person (the inner voice I guess, I call her "mind") was gone. I know that I do my best when I let my subconscious, "mind" do the work but to me, I feel like now I'm trying to see my own face by looking over my shoulder and watch a game with a bird's eye view while I'm one of the players. Its so hard. I feel like I'm shutting down and going no where really really fast. Then lets add the part where insecurity and unsureness was the main keyword of my summer due to job and school (and even are the keywords of now). I'm so stressed and it seems like nothing is happen while everything moves.
Can someone PM me so I can talk about this? Thanks for reading.