The Ethics and Techniques of Binding my Mother

[mystic_peacock]

This has the possibility of being a very long post. Reader beware :)

I am trying to work out the ethics of performing a binding spell, and if those ethics are in line with my own, I would appreciate the offering of some techniques that you know to have worked. I'm going to dive into my sad little tale just so you know what's going on, because I know it's hard to decide ethics based on obscurity. So here I go.

My mother has been increasingly picking fights with me lately. I know that it's partly my fault for letting her upset me and rising to her bait, but it's easy to understand why I do if you know the history between myself and my mom. I just want to keep the peace, fly below the radar, until I can get several part time jobs and move out. But she's making it impossible. She's constantly asking me questions, trying to pick her way into finding out things about my life. I am 19 years old (I still have a curfew and I still have to tell her when I'm going somewhere...even if it's the 5min drive to my boyfriend's) and the only reason I'm still at home is because I'm a full time student and it's easiest for me to complete my studies if I don't have work or an apartment on top of everything else.

Since I was 12 or so, she's been trying to force affection in me. She rubs my arms and back in the way that my lover does, tries to force me to let her kiss my face, neck, arms, hands... again in the way that my lover now does. She used to force me to cuddle in bed with her, until I got old enough and brave enough to say no. Whenever I tell her that I don't want her to touch me or kiss me, she rolls her eyes and says things like "You know how to break a mother's heart."

She pits my brothers and I against eachother, talking about the other kids behind their backs to the other two. She tries to force her opinions upon us. And when I experimented with openly disagreeing with her, she relaxed my curfew rules and told me that in return I couldn't be so contradictory.

I am not allowed to express my opinion, I am not allowed to cry, I am not allowed to argue... and now it's gotten really bad because she's fighting with me openly. This weekend she yelled at me because my boyfriend fixed himself ice cream and I didn't offer her any before licking the scoop. She called me mean and said she'd never fix me ice cream again---stupid, juvenile stuff like that. But it really upsets me because I hate conflict.

My boyfriend has told me that I can't let her do this to me anymore, and I know that he's right. But I need help... I believe that I need the help of a binding spell.

Are my motives good? How do I use a binding spell? Will there be ramifications? I would be very grateful for any help anyone has to offer.

Thank you in advance. I am so tired of being stepped on and I am looking forward to getting this problem solved.

--Serra

[Shanti]

Well I dont know if binding is what you would be looking for. It sounds from your post that you would like to change her.
I dont think thats do-able. She has a will of her own and for you to try to change that could back fire.

Sounds more to me like family counseling is called for not spell work unless you want to help yourself tolerate more. A spell for strength, understanding, patients and the like.

Thats just my thoughts on the topic. :)

[mystic_peacock]

Thank you for your thoughts :) I guess what I meant by binding is the binding of behavior. I have heard of this before but I'm not well-versed in it.

I'm too afraid of her to take her to counselling...

I guess you're right in that I could do a spell for myself. I guess I just want the behavior to stop, not that I want to be able to tolerate it? Hmm... is there something that could make her thoughts glide over me? Perhaps something that could make me less appealing to pick on?

Thanks,
Serra

[Derwin]

I have heard of this before but I'm not well-versed in it.What's your magical background?


Hmm... is there something that could make her thoughts glide over me? Perhaps something that could make me less appealing to pick on?It seems to me like it would be better just to 'cool' her anger.

[Teresa]

This has the possibility of being a very long post. Reader beware :)

I am trying to work out the ethics of performing a binding spell, and if those ethics are in line with my own, I would appreciate the offering of some techniques that you know to have worked. I'm going to dive into my sad little tale just so you know what's going on, because I know it's hard to decide ethics based on obscurity. So here I go.

My mother has been increasingly picking fights with me lately. I know that it's partly my fault for letting her upset me and rising to her bait, but it's easy to understand why I do if you know the history between myself and my mom. I just want to keep the peace, fly below the radar, until I can get several part time jobs and move out. But she's making it impossible. She's constantly asking me questions, trying to pick her way into finding out things about my life. I am 19 years old (I still have a curfew and I still have to tell her when I'm going somewhere...even if it's the 5min drive to my boyfriend's) and the only reason I'm still at home is because I'm a full time student and it's easiest for me to complete my studies if I don't have work or an apartment on top of everything else.

Since I was 12 or so, she's been trying to force affection in me. She rubs my arms and back in the way that my lover does, tries to force me to let her kiss my face, neck, arms, hands... again in the way that my lover now does. She used to force me to cuddle in bed with her, until I got old enough and brave enough to say no. Whenever I tell her that I don't want her to touch me or kiss me, she rolls her eyes and says things like "You know how to break a mother's heart."

She pits my brothers and I against eachother, talking about the other kids behind their backs to the other two. She tries to force her opinions upon us. And when I experimented with openly disagreeing with her, she relaxed my curfew rules and told me that in return I couldn't be so contradictory.

I am not allowed to express my opinion, I am not allowed to cry, I am not allowed to argue... and now it's gotten really bad because she's fighting with me openly. This weekend she yelled at me because my boyfriend fixed himself ice cream and I didn't offer her any before licking the scoop. She called me mean and said she'd never fix me ice cream again---stupid, juvenile stuff like that. But it really upsets me because I hate conflict.

My boyfriend has told me that I can't let her do this to me anymore, and I know that he's right. But I need help... I believe that I need the help of a binding spell.

Are my motives good? How do I use a binding spell? Will there be ramifications? I would be very grateful for any help anyone has to offer.

Thank you in advance. I am so tired of being stepped on and I am looking forward to getting this problem solved.

--Serra
Perhaps you do not need to bind her but need something along the lines of Peace Water.Which would be like a bottle spell. Feel free to PM me if you are interested. It will bring peace and harmony for the household.

[mystic_peacock]

What's your magical background?

It seems to me like it would be better just to 'cool' her anger.


I've been a pagan for 4 or 5 years but I don't do much magic (mostly because I've been scared out of it by everything I've read telling me there are repercussions for everything).

You are probably right about cooling.

--Serra

[mystic_peacock]

Perhaps you do not need to bind her but need something along the lines of Peace Water.Which would be like a bottle spell. Feel free to PM me if you are interested. It will bring peace and harmony for the household.


I'll definately PM you about it! Thanks!
--Serra

[Derwin]

(mostly because I've been scared out of it by everything I've read telling me there are repercussions for everything).Read this (http://www.cantrap.net/theory/3fold.html)

[Teresa]

I'll definately PM you about it! Thanks!
--Serra
Returned Your PM with reply. Note this will bring peace and harmony to all within the household even Yourself.

[tensen]

Um hate to say it, but those comments about affection are sexual misconduct. If I knew you in person I would be required to call DFYS about the situation.

With most forms of magic you must provide an outlet for it to occur. Your first step would probably be to decide what you really want out of things.

[Teresa]

Um hate to say it, but those comments about affection are sexual misconduct. If I knew you in person I would be required to call DFYS about the situation.

With most forms of magic you must provide an outlet for it to occur. Your first step would probably be to decide what you really want out of things.
She is 19 years old.

[Sylvan]

You could imagine yourself inside a mirrored ball, when she's nearby. Either concentrating on it reflecting back to her all of that negative crap she's throwing at you, or mirrored to blend in with your surroundings, like a camouflage...
Except that you're still living with her, so this may be tough to maintain.

I agree that the hugging, rubbing, kissing, snuggling is inappropriate. Maybe that same ball could be modified to be all prickly, covered in thorns, maybe, to make you not-so-cuddly to her anymore?

Does your boyfriend have his own place? Would it be possible for you to move in with him?

These distractions at home can't be good for studying. Would be much better on you if you could get out of there.... A get-a-job spell might be in order (but don't forget to put in applications!), a prosperity spell... Anything that can help move you one step closer to moving out.

You do not have to stand for this abuse. And it is abuse. :hugz:

[Sage Rainsong]

Yeah that sort of contact is very weird and inappropriate. Since you can not leave and you are 19 you can try a binding. You will need a jar (baby food size) a small sheet of paper some dark vinegar and a black candle (can use white or red also) You write your mothers name down if you are too worried about reprecussions then simply write the behaviors down. Then put in a jar. Pour some vinegar over it (to make it stronger you can add irritating herbs like pepper). then close the lid. Take the candle and drip the wax on the jar and say something like. "I restrict, bind and make impotent the harmful actions of (insert mothers name and/or behaviors) Your sick plans fail and come to nothing." repeat it over and over until the bottle is sealed in wax. Visualize her being bound in some way that works for you and your personal ethical code as you are speaking and sealing the jar. Keep the jar in a secret place until you can leave or whenever else you feel appropriate.

[Seshata]

Thank you for your thoughts :) I guess what I meant by binding is the binding of behavior. I have heard of this before but I'm not well-versed in it.
I'm too afraid of her to take her to counselling...
I guess you're right in that I could do a spell for myself. I guess I just want the behavior to stop, not that I want to be able to tolerate it? Hmm... is there something that could make her thoughts glide over me? Perhaps something that could make me less appealing to pick on?

If her attitude with you is so negative and does make you feel uncomfortable, independence is the best way to go. Essentially, if I was living in my parents home, I wouldn't have a prob saying 'ok going to boyfriend's home' etc, but if you've got a job and your indepedence, paying your way etc, there is a level where a parent shouldn't be intruding in your life so much.

I personally don't see there is anything to tolerate if someone is touching you in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable, sorry, but whether they are a parent, friend etc they shouldn't enter your personal space without your acceptance.

You could do a binding on her behaviour or maybe work magically towards your indepedence and freedom. Unfortunately you can't always take someone for family counselling, the parent etc may not even see that their behaviour is in any way 'wrong'. So, looking at my personal experience when I was younger, it was getting away from home and having my independence (work, home - even if it was rented), that made things easier - after all, if you visit her and she has a go at you, you have your own home to go to.

Just my thoughts.

BB

Seshata

[Seshata]

I agree that the hugging, rubbing, kissing, snuggling is inappropriate. Maybe that same ball could be modified to be all prickly, covered in thorns, maybe, to make you not-so-cuddly to her anymore?
These distractions at home can't be good for studying. Would be much better on you if you could get out of there.... A get-a-job spell might be in order (but don't forget to put in applications!), a prosperity spell... Anything that can help move you one step closer to moving out.

Yup, I definately agree. Another thing could be to also visualize a blackthorn tree outside your room - that way you keep your own space.

I also agree with your comments about focussing on getting work and getting independent. :)

BB

Seshata

[mystic_peacock]

Thank you all for your suggestions and comments. I'm going to do everything that I can to stop this. I do know that it is inappropriate, what she is doing, but like I said before I have been too afraid to confront her. And, when I do say something, she blames me for fighting with her.

Unfortunately my boyfriend still lives at home as well and doesn't work (he is a year younger and in his last year of high school)... we can't get out now, but I'm going to get a job as soon as my semester ends and continue working whenever I can (though I can't during the school semester because I have a full work load). Hopefully we'll be able to afford a place, with the help of my boyfriend's friends which will be our roommates, by next year. The suggestions for prosperity and independance spells are good ones... as are the visualizations. I'm going to do all of this, as I'm guessing the more force I have behind me, the more I'll have a chance of it working.

Thank you all so very, very much for your thoughts, suggestions, comments, etc. It means a lot to me that you are all willing to provide help. Much love from me to everyone.

Blessings,
Serra

[Faerie Hollow]

Thank you for your thoughts :) I guess what I meant by binding is the binding of behavior. I have heard of this before but I'm not well-versed in it.

I'm too afraid of her to take her to counselling...

I guess you're right in that I could do a spell for myself. I guess I just want the behavior to stop, not that I want to be able to tolerate it? Hmm... is there something that could make her thoughts glide over me? Perhaps something that could make me less appealing to pick on?

Thanks,
Serra

you could definitely do something about setting up some psychic sheilds to protect you.
I like the whole envisioning yourself protected by a bubble and all the negativity she throws at you just bounces back. That way...it's all her and her baggage and is nothing from you. I know a few spells for this sort of thing if you'd like to email me, I could explain them better. let me know and good luck.

[Faerie Hollow]

You could imagine yourself inside a mirrored ball, when she's nearby. Either concentrating on it reflecting back to her all of that negative crap she's throwing at you, or mirrored to blend in with your surroundings, like a camouflage...
Except that you're still living with her, so this may be tough to maintain.

I agree that the hugging, rubbing, kissing, snuggling is inappropriate. Maybe that same ball could be modified to be all prickly, covered in thorns, maybe, to make you not-so-cuddly to her anymore?

Does your boyfriend have his own place? Would it be possible for you to move in with him?

These distractions at home can't be good for studying. Would be much better on you if you could get out of there.... A get-a-job spell might be in order (but don't forget to put in applications!), a prosperity spell... Anything that can help move you one step closer to moving out.

You do not have to stand for this abuse. And it is abuse. :hugz:

bravo! you are absolutely right and great suggestion!

[mystic_peacock]

I believe that the well wishes of my friends on this board as well as my own reluctance to let this continue has patched things up for now! For some reason she just stopped being horrible to me. We have found that we do not fight when we ride horses, and we have been doing so once a week---it gives her the mother-daughter time I think she's been craving (probably the reason for her inappapropriate affection) and we aren't directly interacting, so I don't feel uncomfortable.
I am keeping all of the visualizations logged in my mind for further use, for when things get bad again (because I believe they go in cycles, but I am definately prepared now).

I applied for a seasonal job at See's Candies (which I haven't heard back from :( ) and also I applied for a part time job being a tutor for kids... I hope that they hire me because the money and hours are perfect for me AND I have good SAT scores/good grades/ good GPA... and I like little kids and think that I would be a good tutor :)

Hopefully I'll be able to get some sort of job this winter break and over the summer as well. My boyfriend has told me that he knows I have to work so that I can move out, so I don't need to worry about the fact that my work hours may cut into the time that we can be together. He says that when we move in together we'll have the rest of our lives to spend with one another, so I can do what I have to do now :)

Thank you all for your suggestions, and hopefully things will stay peaceful, since ultimately that's what I wanted :) :)

Thank you! Much love!
--Serra