Death Watch

[Astara Seague]

Ok This is really starting to bug me!
My neighbor/friend had been diagnosed with lung cancer she was doing well, but last month she took a turn for the worst and since the "prediction" all of the sudden out of the woodwork comes all these people day and night to hang out.. people who never visited to much {or at all} or cared much before like a herd of vultures!!! :geez:
Im sorry if you dont care about someone when they are living.. why when they are dying!
It just gets me MADDD!

[Tzhebee]

Part of it may be that people (friends family whoever) always think to themselves "I've got time..." Time to visit, time to say sorry, time to show you care. And then things get in the way, you aren't visiting, saying sorry, etc. Then, you get the news that you don't have anymore time...so you put it at the top of your priority list.

The other side of that coin is greed.

[Gypsy flower]

thats why I dont want to know when or if I am going to die or anyone else...

[Teresa]

Part of it may be that people (friends family whoever) always think to themselves "I've got time..." Time to visit, time to say sorry, time to show you care. And then things get in the way, you aren't visiting, saying sorry, etc. Then, you get the news that you don't have anymore time...so you put it at the top of your priority list.

The other side of that coin is greed.
Very true, we often take for granted that we have time.

[materra]

thats why I dont want to know when or if I am going to die or anyone else...

Hun, when the time comes you want someone there with you until your last breath. Really. And if you are very lucky that person will hold you the entire time you die and tell you aren't alone and that you are going to the summerlands. And to save a place. :)

[Pesha]

As a nurse I found family members coming out of the woodwork when one of the family was dying. They never came to see them when they were healthy. It is a very strang quirk of human nature and I for one cannpt understand, nor explain it.

In a nursing facility once, I had a patient, very old, whose son never came to see her. But the night she died, he came, stood at her bed side, said....She was a good mother....and left to go buy new shoes. My aides and I were with her when she passed. Sad, so very sad.

BB
DS.

[Gypsy flower]

SEEEE Terrible... I hope to die in my sleep in secret!!!

[Astara Seague]

I guess I would rather not know when I was to die either, I wouldnt want to go through it with all those people hovering about me. Family is one thing, just people or gold diggers are quite another. :( :(

I HAVE NO GOLD ANYWAY!!!

[Shadow Dreamer]

Hun, when the time comes you want someone there with you until your last breath. Really. And if you are very lucky that person will hold you the entire time you die and tell you aren't alone and that you are going to the summerlands. And to save a place. :)

and


As a nurse I found family members coming out of the woodwork when one of the family was dying. They never came to see them when they were healthy. It is a very strang quirk of human nature and I for one cannpt understand, nor explain it.

I can only offer this: My mother was a nurse for almost 40 years before she passed on to the Summerlands, but I still remember the day she came home and I was in the 8th grade. She walked in the door, sat down and cried. A woman had cancer, and was dying at the hospital where she worked. While this was not an uncommon occurance, what was uncommon was that the woman had 3 children who didn't bother coming. When her time was near, she asked my mom to sit with her until the end. She told my mother stories of the time before the turn of the century, and so on...and then slipped off to sleep, never to wake. My mom sat and held her hand the whole time, even though it broke her heart. When my mother was then diagnosed with terminal liver cancer many years later (1999), her children were scattered to the 4 winds; of the 10 of us, only 5 were still in Michigan, the rest around the globe (Germany, England, Montana, Texas and New Mexico). We all flew home to be with her. I hadn't seen my mother in 5 years, but I dropped everything to make sure that she wouldn't have to have that final experience I remembered her telling me about years before. If for no other reason, I think some people might come to help that transition to the Summerlands be one of happiness or at least not one of fear.

I mentioned this in another thread, but I like to look at life in 3 stages: first, we are in the womb, where it is dark, warm and safe. There we grow and are happy. We don't want to go out into the world, because it is a scary and different place, yet we only get those 40 weeks at the most. Then we live our lives, and don't want to die. We can only guess at what is beyond that world, but we've outgrown the one we are in, the same as we did in the womb, and our allotted time is over. Then there is that which follows, and even though we don't want to go there, because it's different and scary, we make that passage as well. If friends and family gather at the birth of a child, even though we may not have seen them in many years, shouldn't they also gather when we are preparing to be "birthed" into the next realm?

.....Just some food for thought

~SD

[ShadowcatX]

Sometimes people return out of Greed, sometimes out of all the good points of human nature. Trajedy and death does draw us together.

As alot of people here have said, the best would be to go in my sleep, without a clue. After that though, I think would be the bends.

[BlueMoon13]

Sometimes people return out of Greed, sometimes out of all the good points of human nature. Trajedy and death does draw us together.


Yup. :huddle:

[phoenixblayze]

i know that greed would be one factor that would make people show up at someones death bed, but maybe some are just wanting to have the chance to say what they have always wanted to, and to show that they care before its too late

[Astara Seague]

its the last 24 according to the doc, there is so many people there you cant move, I faught my way through the crowd and blessed her in my way :foh:

I wonder if she even knows.

[Gypsy flower]

i am sure she does
in love and light

[Astara Seague]

She has passed

Hmm Where has the crowds gone?

RIP Gloria! I love you!

[Gypsy flower]

:crystalba I see through your disguise!!! :smoochypo Hugs! Yes RIP

[Astara Seague]

:geez:I am bumping this because I cant believe what is going on!! She hasnt even been dead for a month yet and her kids have kicked her husband out of her house!! he is retired, 70 or so and true they havent been "married" much over a year but they had lived together for over15 years! they didnt marry because they would loose SS which they needed to live on, when she found out she was dying they married so he could get her death benefits and stay in their home, she put in her will that he could stay as long as he could make house payments,and now her vulture kids are doing this... yes he could fight it and would win, but he says its like winning a judgement from a sexual harrasment case and keeping your job,and doesnt want that kind of trouble plus I know he is still greiving, he never drank before now he is almost everyday!! It is so SAD!!! how can they do that:sniffsnif :wah:

[RoseKitten]

:geez:I am bumping this because I cant believe what is going on!! She hasnt even been dead for a month yet and her kids have kicked her husband out of her house!! he is retired, 70 or so and true they havent been "married" much over a year but they had lived together for over15 years! they didnt marry because they would loose SS which they needed to live on, when she found out she was dying they married so he could get her death benefits and stay in their home, she put in her will that he could stay as long as he could make house payments,and now her vulture kids are doing this... yes he could fight it and would win, but he says its like winning a judgement from a sexual harrasment case and keeping your job,and doesnt want that kind of trouble plus I know he is still greiving, he never drank before now he is almost everyday!! It is so SAD!!! how can they do that:sniffsnif :wah:


how can peole be so curel?? That's horrible... give him one of these for me if you can :hugz:

[merlo]

As a nurse I found family members coming out of the woodwork when one of the family was dying. They never came to see them when they were healthy. It is a very strang quirk of human nature and I for one cannpt understand, nor explain it.


I've noticed people react very weirdly when confronted with intensely stressing situations. I guess that's to be expected.

[phoenixblayze]

that is absolutly horrific, i hope that he has somewhere to go, i feel so bad for him

[Astara Seague]

he decided on a senior citizen apt not far from here.. but the whole thing is beyond me!!:heartbrea They even said he could not move anything out unless they were there watching!!! OH PLEASE!!! :dis:

[phoenixblayze]

its amazing they are treating him like this, when he spent close to 20 years with their mother, do they just not care. thats crazy, and he has as much right to the house as they do, he was her husband legally.....i think he should take them to court........

[Astara Seague]

yeah thier own kids even call him Grandpa!! But he wont go to court, he is just resolved I guess, doesnt seem to care anymore they have been putting him through HE!! this entire time since she passed.:dis:

[stormmoon54]

Greed is a driving factor in so many families. When my Dad died, I had one brother that didn't even bother showing up for his passing or memorial, but called after a month had passed to try to get money from Mom. Later as Mom weakened getting sicker, she was taken out of her home and packed off to a nursing home because my older sister was certain that she would be able to get her hands on whatever she could. Only three of us cared about her out of her seven children the rest only wanted the money. It makes me sick!

[phoenixblayze]

we experience how family can turn into vultures when someone dies last year. my hubbys grandma died, and the kids were just worried about who was going to get what, alot of toes were stepped on. i swear if my kids try to pull that after i die, ill come back and spook some respect back into them

[BlueMoon13]

:dis: :sick: :awilly: :bastard: :wtf:

[Shadow Dreamer]

I send this for the children...use it at your discretion.

POWER and PAIN drive the rain
the flower's bloom is lost too soon!
Reap the harvest tossed in spring
the weeds of recklessness break the ring.
Hear the storm driving hard
the shadow's comming, 'cross the yard.
Weeds of youth feel the pain
the heartless drive, your will be tamed.
The seeds you sow in harvet's light
will bring the dawning of the night.
My wrath I send in Winter's birth
fires will die upon the hearth.
Yule to come, mirth be lost
Your greedy heart, it's love the cost.
Joyous light to elder heart,
Your love awaits even through the part.
Rest your head and wait the dawn
of Summer on the Hallowed lawns.

[Gypsy flower]

thats a good spell shadow dreamer, I like it, this family sounds like they REALLY deserve it! How can people do that kind of thing??:bat:

[ravynbynorthwynd]

please please please people, when you make a will, tell everyone what it says. don't have a huge suprise. my mom doesn't talk to her brother and hasn't for years because of the fiasco after my grandma died. he thought we were keeping some mysterious money that she apparently had, when she never did have very much money. sure, she could loan us soemthing once in a blue moon, but it was never much and it was always needed back.

my brothers, while a bit jealous, know that i get the family clock (over 150 year old small shelf grandfather style clock) because i'm the youngest daughter, which is how it has always been passed down.

[Astara Seague]

Thanks everyone for your kind thoughts, and I agree make sure to have a strong will so nothing such as this can happen in your lives, I just hope he can find some happiness in his new home.:nicetie:

and Shadow dreamer many thanks and I will consider using the spell throughly before I act, :floating:

[Cadabuz]

I mentioned this in another thread, but I like to look at life in 3 stages: first, we are in the womb, where it is dark, warm and safe. There we grow and are happy. We don't want to go out into the world, because it is a scary and different place, yet we only get those 40 weeks at the most. Then we live our lives, and don't want to die. We can only guess at what is beyond that world, but we've outgrown the one we are in, the same as we did in the womb, and our allotted time is over. Then there is that which follows, and even though we don't want to go there, because it's different and scary, we make that passage as well. If friends and family gather at the birth of a child, even though we may not have seen them in many years, shouldn't they also gather when we are preparing to be "birthed" into the next realm?
~SD

I read all the way to the end before posting. The above quote hit home for me. I am so totally on the same page as you as far as this goes.

I am so sorry to hear about such greed and not more love. We need to support our elders, they can teach us so much if we but listened. Instead it seems the new trend to lock them away in some home and forget they are there until they die and then only cause they want to get their share of the plunder. Makes me sick.

I send me blessings and enrgy.

Blessed Be,

Cadabuz

[Pesha]

I am so late, but my keyboard died yesterday.

In the many years I was a practicing nurse, this is the one time I hated the most. The Gathering of the Clan to sit the Death Watch. People from all over would come. Many so distently related it was silly for them to even be there. The idea that watching a human being deteriorate and dwindle and die is interesting or something to do in life, just disgusts me. Why, can't these people just wait somewhere politely distant and let nature take its course. The only ones who should be there is the children of that person and a spouse if alive. I can remember a time when the end came there were 20 pwoplw standing in the room. As I tgurned off the O2 and covered her face, the people looked disappointed. Like it had been such a bore, is that all there is too it. How can we have death with dignity, if this Death Watch is alowed. MY POV.

BB
DS.

[Pesha]

In regards to what the family is doing to her husband. It is criminal and karma will get them someday. It has to be left up to the Universe and the Goddess as to how this selfesh family is treated. A spell would be maipulative and not kosher here. My POV.

BB
DS.