Becoming Agorophobic...afraid to leave house.

[Pesha]

I need to get this off my chest. I have been battling bad knees, two operations that did not work 100 %, some serious illnesses and I have gotten to the point of not wanting to go out of my flat at all. I am letting myself go. I need to pull it together or I am going to scream. I am still at an age where I can have a social life again. Frankly i am a pretty woman who right now looks like crap. I use it as an excuse for not going out. I will not even go to the store anymore. I do not have a car and depend on my son for transportation. Which is not bad. He is very happy to help. But he too is worried about my state of mind. I am trusting alot here in writing this. So anyway if someone can please just talk to me. It is hard for me to ask as I ama helper not a helpee. Ok that is all I will say. Thankyou.

BB
DS.



ps. my condition is called Agorophobia. And to think I have a degree in psychology and am a nurse.

[BlackMagicalCat]

Bless your heart,Glad to help you carry your burden,from what I have seen in your posts,you are a kind hearted soul,and any man would be lucky to belong to you.

I guess getting out and meeting others really does help,thats what im doing.I love the moon at night,and the smell of fall in the air,and the trees,and the crisp air.

Ill keep you in my prayers,and will ask God to send you lots of friends,and I will ask the Goddess to comfort you with her loving kindness.

[BrigidMoon]

Aww sweetheart! That's horrible! _pounce_

What can we do to help you?

It's horrible to be afraid to leave the house!

[SSanf]

Funny thing you should say!

I have many of the same challenges. I have gone months without going out. Thing is, even though I am pretty agorophobic, I have concluded that I am much happier this way so why change it?

I am not "afraid" to leave the house. I just don't want to. You have to take a bath, change clothes, do your hair, have money for whatever....yada yada. THEN, you have to go out and be NICE to people. Big pain in the butt.

Being alone is NOT horrible. It is totally freeing. You can be absolutely selfish and self-indulgent. It is much harder to make the necessary sacrifices required in social interaction. And, I am not so sure that the rewards for doing so are all that great compared to the pleasure of doing just as you please all the time.

Maybe, we should start an agorophobic and slobs support group! LOL!

.

[Sun Sprite]

I have days when I am that way. With all my disabilities, it can be tough to go out in public and have people view me as if I should be perfectly healthy. Some days I can't make it down the three steps to the computer room.

What I try to do on those days is pick one friend, and call them. While talking I go outside and sit on the porch and try to reconnect with nature. Sometimes, I go two houses down and talk to the retired man who always sits on his porch. I may not stay five minutes, but it does me good. I find the next day I feel lots better.

Best wishes,

[GryphonGirl]

Many many hugs and love sent to you beautiful lady. I know the Universe has been slapping you around lately. It WILL get better. YOU will get better. In the meantime perhaps there is someone, an acquaintance? who can arrange to make little forays with you outside, around the block, to the store, or even to go have a little lunch somewhere....? ...then maybe you might think about seeing if there is a retirement community where there might be some people who'd love to have a visit from a new friend from time to time. I would bet that if there's a way to help someone else, while you help yourself, you will begin to feel valuable again....Little increments is what you should look for. I believe in you DS - you can believe in you again too. :hugz:

[Silverwolfthorn]

what exactly is it that your are afraid of? Is it people? Prejudice etc? Can you pin point your fears down to one thing? If you can determine more specifically what you are afraid of you will find it easier to face.

I think you need to get out of your house. Step by step. Start with just stepping outside your front door and maybe taking a walk just a few meters. Then slowly increase. The thing is unless you are quite happy being alone you will need to get out of your house. You can't just hide away forever, the longer you leave it the harder it will become.

Just do your hair and makeup every day. Don't let yourself go otherwise you may never be able to get back to yourself.

Blessed be
Silver

[Earthy]

Oh sweetie :hugz:
You know all my love and thoughts are with you.
If there is anything i can do, just let me know :hugz:

[Brenda]

:hugz: sorry you're feeling so bad :hugz:
If you want to go outside, but you're too afraid, take things step by step, even walking down the street a few steps is a start, try to walk further every day :) maybe you could ask someone to go with you so you won't be alone when you're out.

[StormVixen]

ive been semi aggrophobic (i was afraid to go out in daylight) it was when i was at college i dunno why i was scared to go out tho...

[dragoncrone]

First, here's a virtual arm around your shoulder and a hug...
Second - have you considered the possibility that the situation from your surgery has sort of slid you into a mild case of depression? It can be sneaky that way -- believe me I KNOW... please give it some thought, OK?
And when you're down, there is NOTHING like the presence of a cat or several, for comfort.

[wolf]

It's always difficult to go from caregiver to caregiven. Best of luck to you.

[Chibi-Fallon]

Yeah sounds like depression to me. I get in funks like that from time to time. But yours starts to sound like it's tipping from funk to... whatever comes after that on the scale of feeling crappy. :T
When I get like that I go for walks at night. It gets me out but I can still be sort of alone and then I work them earlier and earlier.
Since you knee is bad why not look for like a yoga class or something like that to help? It gets you out and helps your knee.

[Pesha]

what can i day but thankyou all so much. I do not like being alone all the time. I like looking good too. So I am seeingmy doc in two weeks. I will take about a re-eval of my meds. And try and go out and do a little walking in front of my flat. HUGS in the millions to all of you who have cared to answer my post.

BB
DS.

[BrigidMoon]

what can i day but thankyou all so much. I do not like being alone all the time. I like looking good too. So I am seeingmy doc in two weeks. I will take about a re-eval of my meds. And try and go out and do a little walking in front of my flat. HUGS in the millions to all of you who have cared to answer my post.

BB
DS.

I'm glad you're going to see your doc! That's awesome. Please keep in touch.

:sunny: :sunny: :sunny: :sunny:

[DragonsChest]

You have taken the hardest step - naming your fear and planning on how to conquer it. You can do this! You are a lovely, worthy person, and you will regain your freedom and control over your life.

:hugz: 100 million times.

[Auroro]

Take up martial arts ;).

[Nova]

Good luck to you! There is nothing to be ashamed of in needing help. Most helpers came to their trade by once being in need of help.

Furthermore your courage in posting this here just goes to show what a good helper you are. You haven taken a first step towards helping yourself - you walk the walk. Being in need yourself in no way makes you a less capable helper. If anything, it makes you stronger.

As Bilbo said... It's a dangerous business going out your front door!

:hugz:

[Philosophia]

As a person who is also considered agoraphobic :hugz:!
When I first learnt of this, my thoughts were angry. I wanted to be like everyone else, to go out, party and be wild. But I learnt that this isn't me and I shouldn't be forcing myself into a mold that I don't fit in.
What I did was find groups that interest me outside. For example, I love writing so I found a local writers group where I feel completely at ease in (though, at first, it felt horrible but after the initial reactions and a gradual process I soon let myself lower my walls a bit).
Take gradual and small steps. Go outside the door and just breath in the air a bit. Sit in the sun and feel it on your face...its a wonderful feeling. I've been seeing a counsellor for over three years and she has helped me look within and extend my boundaries.
If you need any help, or just somebody to talk to, I am always here. :hugz:

[Shaw]

I was also agoraphobic until I met my first witch friend. Now I can't wait to hang out with her and do things. You do need to start small as others have stated. Promise yourself to walk at least 1 mile ever day or take classes as was suggested. Or find just one friend you can relate to.

[Contra Mundum]

oh hon sorry i haven't seen this post earlier.
just take things one at a time and always remember that we are here to help you and to guide you through the hard times.
good to here you decided to go to the doctor that is one step in the right direction.
maybe making yourself look fabulous will help ,do your hair ,make up,that way you won't have an excuse for not going out .
and never be afraid to ask for help , believe me i know how hard that is but i for one and many others here on mw are willing to give you that help :uhhuhuh:
so if there's anything i can do just ask ,okay ?
:hugz: :hugz: BIG :hugz: :hugz:

[Kalika]

I need to get this off my chest. I have been battling bad knees, two operations that did not work 100 %, some serious illnesses and I have gotten to the point of not wanting to go out of my flat at all. I am letting myself go. I need to pull it together or I am going to scream. I am still at an age where I can have a social life again. Frankly i am a pretty woman who right now looks like crap. I use it as an excuse for not going out. I will not even go to the store anymore. I do not have a car and depend on my son for transportation. Which is not bad. He is very happy to help. But he too is worried about my state of mind. I am trusting alot here in writing this. So anyway if someone can please just talk to me. It is hard for me to ask as I ama helper not a helpee. Ok that is all I will say. Thankyou.

BB
DS.



ps. my condition is called Agorophobia. And to think I have a degree in psychology and am a nurse.

:hugz:

Want me to come up to Utah and drag you out? :) I could prolly do it!

[Astara Seague]

Hey! why didnt I see this before either! I am In Utah! Even though it is scarey out there hon sometimes you just need to go, I wish we lived closer. I dont go out at night without someone else with me as well as driving, there are alot of weirdos out there, I only run errands in the daytime, other then that my home is my sancutary..please feel free to Pm me!

[Pesha]

I am reading everyones answers and trying to poke as many as I am able with a bit of karma. I cannot thankyou enough as I have said before. It is funny, I go about my days here at the pc or reading with the cats. Babysit my G'kids. I never thought to say something to anyone but my kids. And they want me to get up and out too. It was hard telling all of you my secret, my problem. Thankyou so much. :hugz:

BB
DS.

[Lunacie]

Well, come on and move back to Kansas, and then you can come with me to drumming circle. I spent waaaaay too many years staying at home. I still have days when it's not worth the effort to get out there, but most times when I get out I find I enjoy myself. I took the toddler to some yard sales today - and was quite surprised to find none of them had been cancelled due to the cold weather, MY that wind was sharp! I enjoyed sharing a few words with folks at the first few sales. When I realized I didn't want anyone to speak to me and I didn't want to speak to anyone I knew it was time to come on home and get a pot of chili started for supper tonight.

Hugs and healing energies for your body, your mind, your emotions, and your spirit. May the energies go where they are needed and do what needs done to make you feel better in every way. :hugz:

[wetlandwriter]

Time to get up and out of there my dear. Besides, sitting around the house, even with darling cats, isn't going to help your knees either. I, too have cats (2). and I, too lack transportation. I had to give up my car several years ago because I can no longer see well enough to drive. I, too look awful, one eye is bigger than the other and both bulge out of my head and are chronically gunky, my hair is falling out, my skin is growing tags and strange bumps and lumps. Believe me, it's easy to hide in the house. It's even easier to find excuses to remain there. You didn't mention how old you are, so I'm not sure how much of my advice is appropriate to your age (I'm almost 60). Check your local newspaper and find someplace that needs a few hours of volunteer help a week. That will get you out of the house for a short period of time, which is a good start. You'll help yourself as well as helping others and your community. You'll make new friends and you'll start feeling better about yourself. After a while, you might even find you have more energy. Remember, the journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step. One small step at a time. One small step at a time. I have faith in you. It's time to open that door and take the first step. You can do it, trust me!

[Jenne]

:hugs: Hon--all the energies I can send you!

[Pesha]

I bumped this up to let all of you darlings know, that I left the house last week. It was to go to the doc, but I usually keep changing my appointment. This time, I got dressed and went out side. It was nice to spend some time with my son out in the car. Anyway I just wanted you all to know. Baby steps. baby steps..........

BB
DS.

[BrigidMoon]

I bumped this up to let all of you darlings know, that I left the house last week. It was to go to the doc, but I usually keep changing my appointment. This time, I got dressed and went out side. It was nice to spend some time with my son out in the car. Anyway I just wanted you all to know. Baby steps. baby steps..........

BB
DS.

THAT IS AWESOME!

:hugz:

Congrats hon!

[DragonsChest]

I am so happy for you!!! :hugz:

[Earthy]

That's wonderful Dragonsinger. :hugz:
And you're right, it's all baby steps but you can do it :hugz:

[Lunacie]

Oh, I'm so glad it was a good experience, it should make the next time a bit easier. How are you feeling otherwise?

[phoenixblayze]

good for you, i hope that things just become more positive for you