It helps talking to a stranger

[Eventide]

I've been trying to shed some light on this issue and I've about analysed it to death. I'm still full of anger over it and I know that this is what is keeping me from just "getting over it." I'm too self-absorbed right now and it's not healthy.

I'm not sure this is the right place for it, but I'm hoping to gain some perspective or at the very least a way to just let it go. It's a case of giving
credit where credit is due, I have busted my tail the past couple of weeks trying to find innovative and exciting ways to help this guy try to keep his regular clients and encourage more participation among them. At his invitation. He has a few other people he relies on in his team. The ball got rolling and I chimed in as much as possible, in a subjective manner, I thought I was being a team player. The clients were satisfied but this is where the trouble starts.

I would ask for feedback/guidance from some of his assistants and I would not hear a thing. I didn't press the issue. If I had a bad idea they would subtly find ways to tease me (I guess they thought I was stupid) about it. When I had a good idea, one of them would try to claim credit for it and the others would back him up.
I'm not afraid to speak my mnd, this is not a matter I particularly want to resolve either. I mean they obviously don't want me there. On the other hand this is the kind of b.s. that diminishes work quality...it's poison.

I'm still very angry--- I would like to know if something similar has happened to you or someone you know and what you/they did about it. It might help me!

[Eventide]

noone? :(

[Tarbh Nathroch]

Not much to say….people will steal or try to take credit for your ideas. Happens all the time. There are things you can do like document your ideas or always e-mail them to the person instead of tell them. It is possible to make a paper trail of your contributions but in the long run it ends up being word against word and pushing the issue can make you enemies and label you a tattle tail or cry baby. The best thing I find is to just not take it personally…they’ll do it to others as well. You will always have another idea but they wont always have some one to take ideas from.

[merlo]

I've been trying to shed some light on this issue and I've about analysed it to death. I'm still full of anger over it and I know that this is what is keeping me from just "getting over it." I'm too self-absorbed right now and it's not healthy.

I'm not sure this is the right place for it, but I'm hoping to gain some perspective or at the very least a way to just let it go. It's a case of giving
credit where credit is due, I have busted my tail the past couple of weeks trying to find innovative and exciting ways to help this guy try to keep his regular clients and encourage more participation among them. At his invitation. He has a few other people he relies on in his team. The ball got rolling and I chimed in as much as possible, in a subjective manner, I thought I was being a team player. The clients were satisfied but this is where the trouble starts.

I would ask for feedback/guidance from some of his assistants and I would not hear a thing. I didn't press the issue. If I had a bad idea they would subtly find ways to tease me (I guess they thought I was stupid) about it. When I had a good idea, one of them would try to claim credit for it and the others would back him up.
I'm not afraid to speak my mnd, this is not a matter I particularly want to resolve either. I mean they obviously don't want me there. On the other hand this is the kind of b.s. that diminishes work quality...it's poison.

I'm still very angry--- I would like to know if something similar has happened to you or someone you know and what you/they did about it. It might help me!



Try reading Sun Tsu's "Art of War"
Takes awhile to get the perspective, but you will begin to see why people act like this. It is INVALUABLE to have to learn to deal with situations like this. It sucks $#%@ to have to go through it, but it's the only way to learn. "Turn your obstacles into assets"...and if that doesn't work, smash the little ants and make them like it! Good luck there, Eventide!!!! :crown:

[Tarbh Nathroch]

excellent book suggestion.

[audi]

some poeple dont like to work hard, but everyone likes positive credit. sorry this happened to you. *hugs*

[Jenne]

Gaining and keeping integrity in the workplace, especially in a toxic environment such as what you are describing, is a tough situation. You can't necessarily call the shots, even if you are the head honcho. So many office and employee/-er dynamics go into it.

If you are on a level that you can do this with him, I'd tell this guy what you told him here. That you've been stymied by his assistants and that as a consequence, it is really messing up your mojo at work. This puts him on notice that 1) people are being nasty and 2) the work environment needs to be cleaned up and put back to work.

If you feel you can't tell him honestly what's going on (and not in a whining manner, just a "I'm very concerned that this will impact our clients, etc. and lose us money"--that kind of tack always gets 'em right in the pocketbook), then you'll have to strategize. Don't tell anyone your ideas until you have the dude in the room, or cc him on your e-mails/correspondence so he knows for sure what's going down and who to give the credit to.

Stop trying to get positive feedback from people who aren't invested in your welfare. It lays you open and makes you vulnerable to their "poison" as you call it. Instead, only keep tabs through this guy who heads these things up, make him your touchstone.

Hope this help--good luck and take a nice, relaxing bath w/a glass of wine when you get in tonight!

[Eventide]

Thank you, believe me it really really helps! :hugz: I will take all this info into consideration.

[Jenne]

:smile:

[BlackMagicalCat]

Well,Ill pray for divine intervention for you.

Im a bit lowwer on the food chain than you are,but people have always screwwed me it seems like.And sometimes it angers me.And many a time I showwed them kindness,and it went unnoticed.
Companys I worked for didnt apreciate my safe driving,and hard work.But I Give all my anger to God,and asked him to take it away,and he does.And I know that a person will reap what they have sown,the same measure they have measured to others ,will be measured back to them.I will continue to be kind and will continue to bless.

The negative way they treat others,will return to them one day.But you just keep on moving forward,and being a profesional with values,I believe you will be rewarded for it.

May God watch over you.Here is a picture to bless you.

[Eventide]

azzeenasman, we are all equals under the sun in my book. Don't ever think that you are a lesser being, because I just don't believe you!

I appreciate the effort you took out of your day to answer this thread. You take care of you k?

Thanks again everybody I feel 1000% better :wave:

[BrigidMoon]

azzeenasman, we are all equals under the sun in my book. Don't ever think that you are a lesser being, because I just don't believe you!

I appreciate the effort you took out of your day to answer this thread. You take care of you k?

Thanks again everybody I feel 1000% better :wave:

I agree with you!

[Lorelei of the Mists]

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