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Memories and buried feelings [Archive] - MysticWicks Online Pagan Community and Spiritual Sanctuary

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Tzhebee
October 12th, 2005, 03:23 PM
Well, I guess this is as good a place as any. Doesn't really belong in family, or just talk...and I don't really need advice or a hug, but I do need to say it, so this is where it goes.

My mom cleaned out the basement and found a box of my old stuff. All my HS pictures from friends and dances, yearbooks, misc. knick-knacks that I kept that had some kind of importance to me at the time...all in one big box. Who knew what kind of old "dead" memories and feelings that box would hold. I brought it home and promptly passed out my knick-knacks to my kids, because for the life of me, I can't remember why I would have kept those things.

Then I went through my old year books and started reading the things people wrote. Occassionally laughing ... but mostly thinking to myself "who the hell was that?" :lol: And this was just 11 short years ago. And then I started going through all the pictures of all the dances I went to. I went to a lot of freaking dances! I can't recall the names of half the people I went with...and I am going to have to burn the pics of me in a white dress with puffy shoulders (WTF was I thinking?!?!?).

For the most part, the pics brought smiles (and lack of remembering who they were). But then...I ran across a single pic of a guy I knew and dated when I was 16. One pic, and it wasn't even a good one. But I was just floored with emotion and memories and all of a sudden had this feeling of emptiness....like I was missing something without him in my life. I mean, it was absurd! I haven't seen or even thought about him in almost 14 years, hell I had to struggle to remember his name...but there I was sitting on my kitchen floor almost in tears. Every converstation I had with him was slammed to the front of my brain, I remembered his smell, his smile, his eyes...everything.

We didn't date long, and we were never "serious". I remember being hassled for dating him by everyone because I was 16 and he was only 13. We were at different schools, but he lived just up the road so I saw him every day. I remember he came down to visit one day wearing some stupid charm on a chain around his neck...he said it was a gal in his english class and it fell from her bag, so he picked it up to return to her. I remember blowing a gasket accusing him of messing with her behind my back and a bunch of other nonsense...and he ripped that necklace off his neck and threw it into the pond. Right now, tpying this, I can see the pain in his eyes from my words and I can feel the hurt.

We never actually "broke up". Instead, his family moved back to Montana and he went with them. I haven't seen or heard from him since. But his picture and his words on the back of it hurt me today. How is it that 13 years later, I feel this emptiness...almost like I lost someone I love...when I never loved him...I don't think I did...

I'm just incredibly confused. I thought that maybe typing it out would help...who knows.

Catiana
October 12th, 2005, 04:04 PM
:hugz: I've never experienced anything like that so don't have any words of wisdom for you, but here are some more :hugz: :hugz: :hugz:

BrigidMoon
October 12th, 2005, 04:25 PM
Well old memories can definitely bring out a lot of mixed emotions.

If you really liked this guy, why not try to find him? Perhaps he's got an email address somewhere. If you did that and make a connection do you think there would be closure there for you? Is that what you would want?

Contra Mundum
October 13th, 2005, 03:02 PM
don't burn the pics ,you are going to regret it if you do, you puffy shoulder dress wearing woman. :T
and if you feel so strongly about the guy ,why not try to find him ?
:smoochypo

Tzhebee
October 13th, 2005, 03:10 PM
don't burn the pics ,you are going to regret it if you do, you puffy shoulder dress wearing woman. :T
Seriously...it was an off white dress, BIG HUGE puffy shoulders, tight body with gold sequins (again...WTF?) and flaired out in a V shape in 3 layer to my knees.....Ugh. It has to be the UGLIEST thing in existance....and I wore it TWICE! :strike:

and if you feel so strongly about the guy ,why not try to find him ?
:smoochypo
I don't know his last name. AND...I'm in a very nice long-term (almost 7 years) relationship with a great guy. So...why am I having these thoughts? Maybe I feel bad for hurting him like I did...I just don't know.

Kalika
October 13th, 2005, 03:13 PM
:hugz:

I've been there.

And, even though you didn't think it at the time... you probably DID love him. You just didn't realize it.

Maybe you will cross paths again... maybe that is what your heart is telling you.

Hang in there!

Jenne
October 13th, 2005, 03:38 PM
:hugz: Unresolved guilt and hurt feelings CAN be quite overwhelming when they come upon you, unlooked for. It's normal, Tzhe...and I think it was something you probably had to experience to get it out of your system for good. Maybe you'll learn something now about yourself that you didn't figure out back then that will help you for the future.

Or something like that. LOL More :hugz:

Contra Mundum
October 13th, 2005, 03:44 PM
Seriously...it was an off white dress, BIG HUGE puffy shoulders, tight body with gold sequins (again...WTF?) and flaired out in a V shape in 3 layer to my knees.....Ugh. It has to be the UGLIEST thing in existance....and I wore it TWICE! :strike:
:crazylaug oh you fashion queen you ,no matter how ugly it is ,burn the pics and regret it for the rest of your life !!!

I don't know his last name. AND...I'm in a very nice long-term (almost 7 years) relationship with a great guy. So...why am I having these thoughts? Maybe I feel bad for hurting him like I did...I just don't know.

your point ? who cares if you're in a relationship,you can talk to him as a friend,you don't need to jump into bed with him. _tsk_
there can be a million and one reasons why you have these thoughts ,only way to find out is to find him and talk to him.
maybe the school has some info on his last name ? there must be a way to find his last name,right?