What say you when you are beginning to disintegrate and crumble?

[Ron]

I'm wondering....

What is it that you do when you are recieving news about something traumatic, or something that you might feel is "shaking you"? It is the same sort of feeling as having butterfies in one's stomach.

Do you pray? Do you dance? Do you sing? Do you meditate? Do you call your parents? Do you scream? Do you fart? Do you jump on a broom and then off a cliff?

(Let us make the assumption that we do not have the time to go to a sacred space, or cast a full circle.)

:)

[BrigidMoon]

I think it depends on the news. I really try not to freak out and overract or do something irrational.

[JadeNSC]

For me, it depends on the sort of news. As sick as this sounds, when I hear someone has died (that I knew), I have to force back a smile. It's not that I'm happy someone is dead, not at all. It's more like I can't think of how to respond so my brain just forces me to smile and laugh. Tears come later.

I don't often emote right away. I tend to shut down and become numb at first. I tend to be the rock everyone leans on and so I end up playing caretaker for many. This causes problems sometimes as people think I'm doing OK or the situation isn't getting to me. They either think I'm strong or an uncaring and selfish b****. When I do breakdown and release the emotions (through crying or a moment of rage), I often catch people off-guard. My fiancé has slowly learned that just because I don't look upset or ask for help doesn't mean I don't need it.

In private, I might communicate to my gods through prayer. It's quite often a one-sided conversation and I might vent or yell at them, but it's only a release. I reserve ritual for when I'm more level-headed and able to think rationally.

[Meadhbh]

I just to emotional shut down. The feelings go off and I try and focus on what needs to be done right then reguardless of how I feel. Of course later on, I'll break down in private on my own and never speak of that to other people. For me its importain to keep a rational view on whats happening and to try not to get to bogged down with emotions or my personal views on the subject.

[Kalandriel]

I too kinda go numb.. I stay solid in public.. and have my public face.

It's at home that I crumble. For example, a couple years ago, I was called and told that my brother had shot himself. Of course I fell apart, I was at home for the call at least.. and I was a wreck. But the next day was thanksgiving with my boyfriend at the time's family and extended family, and I was just numb, no tears.. went and sat through it.

It was at home, when it was just me that I'd curl into a ball and just wimper. I pretty much do that with everything big, I let it out.. but only to those really close to me, and well.. for myself.

[Toby Stimpson]

Well my dear Ron...I just evaluate. I think...I rule out...and I hope. I try and talk it out with people close to me, or atleast go and do things to distract me or to strengthen me. I also don't lose hope...or try not to, although soemtimes I do...becasue if you start to think negetivily, what help will that do? I hope your news is not that bad, and if it is, I'm here for you! :)

[NightPoet00]

I try not to grin or laugh. I know, it's sick and weird, but I have this strange reaction by getting this humongous, humorless grin on my face. I probably look ghastly. Maybe I can't handle it, I don't know. I guess it's better than sobbing, right?

[Know Your Rights]

Okay... so you see that brick wall over there? *points* Yah, that one... that's me in a situation such as the one you just described... admittedly, I am emotionally detached.

[Aidron]

If it is an obstacle I know I could and likely should overcome, I immediately begin to try and solve it. If it is something that is disheartening perhaps and that simply must be, I take a inhale deeply and accept it.

Throughout either of the two I may do many other things as well, such as pray, converse with my grandmother or pull a spell out of thin air and cast it.

[Tulip Tree]

Hi Ron,

Here's what I do:
1. Divination to understand how to cope.
2. Meditative breathing.
3. Forcing myself to share my story.
4. Remembering that I'm not alone.

All these things are very relaxing. It doesn't ease the butterflies 24/7, but it helps to keep me grounded and able to focus and deal with the situation at hand. Each one is explained below if you have time to read them.

Divination: I just went through something traumatic so I can answer your question from experience. You're right, there was absolutely no time for sacred space or ritual. I did have one time that I could reserve for myself and that was after I got into bed and before I fell asleep. It was then that I would I ask my spirit guides to give me advice through 1-3 card Tarot card spreads. Fortunately, I felt my guides had prepared me ahead of time, but the lessons I learned are still helping as I deal with the aftermath.

Breathing: I try to practice a single meditative technique without actually meditating: breathing. You have to do it anyway, but I think we forget to breath continuously in times of stress. So, whenever I'm in a situation and surrounded by people, have no time to get away into a quiet room by myself or simply just can't focus, then I try do do something I can do in front of everyone without them even noticing. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth in deep rhythmic breaths without being conspicuous. You can do this by keep your lips slightly parted and using your tongue to block the airflow during intake. It helps to ease stress and keep your thoughts clear and in the moment.

Story Telling: There's another ritual that can be performed inconspicuously. It's an old ritual, ancient, it's woven through all beliefs and cultures. Story telling. Tell your story. You aren't the first or last person to worry about money, lose someone through death, lose a job, a spouse, or whatever crisis you may be facing. When you read a good book that seems true to you and your experiences, the experience is cathartic. People need catharsis, it helps them deal with past sorrows and new sorrows, it binds us together as people, makes us feel less alone. We need to feel less alone. That's why the ritual of story sharing is important. Sharing your story may bind you in a sacred way with people around you that you never thought you could truly know.

Remembering you're not alone: Which brings up the sacred in everyday life. I try to remember an old Catholic saying. "No one gets to heaven alone." Even though I'm no longer fixated on heaven or hell I think of the saying in terms of crises or the whole earthbound experience and rethink the saying as: "No one gets through life alone." You weren't born out of thin air, you didn't buy your first clothes, you didn't teach yourself how to read. People, maybe even strangers, have always been there to give you tips and advice and you have done the same for other people. Nothing that you see or experience affects only you. If something happens to you, it affects everyone you know. If something happens to someone you know, it affects you. I try to make a discipline of understand that I'm not single thread alone, but a strand in a much larger web. I don't want to be a weak link, but the web won't survive if I try bear the whole weight on my own or if I allow anyone else to do the same.

[Evendusk]

I will freak but try to talk it out with whomever I'm wish, which works out because most of the people I know react similarly. When I hear about the death of someone I know again I'll be open with my emotions but I also feel calm knowing that they're going on to the next phase of life. It may even be a sense of gratitude/relief if I know that person had been in a lot of pain at the end.

[Ron]

Hmm ... well, personally... I used to be very emotionally detached -- from everything. I felt very little for myself, and was somewhat overly-extroverted (perhaps?).

Recent events have awakened my emotional sides, and have caused me... to become... rather emotional... lately I have been mastering myself, and harnessing my emtional reaction to create rational thought.

Thank you everyone, for your responses. ;)

[Xentor]

I just to emotional shut down. The feelings go off (...). For me its important to keep a rational view on whats happening and to try not to get to bogged down with emotions or my personal views on the subject.

Doing this myself. If the trauma is severe enough, I will faint.

Then, using rationality, I'll explain the entire situation to myself. After some time, I'll repeat the situation in my mind, over and over again, and allow myself to feel, a bit more each time, until I'm comfortable with it and can live through it.