Friend Thinks She's a Witch

[DarkHeart13]

Okay I have a little situation on my hands here...I think it was a big mistake letting my friend know I was a Witch. However, this was like two years ago and I didn't think she'd remember. The only thing she is concerned with are spells and rituals. We were at Borders last week and she wanted to buy Witchcraft books. I directed her to the beginner's books, or ones that talked about pretty much everything instead of the one topic of spells. She insisted on telling me she already knew this when I know she doesn't.
I'm just upset by this because I'm worried she will do something she will later regret. I'm only 15 and I've been studying since I was 12. I still haven't done anything major with spellwork, maybe something for the holidays or whatever. When I first started I really screwed up by doing a black magick spell and it came back to me, hard. She doesn't know what she's doing and I dont' want anything bad to happen to her. Is there any way to get her to see what she's doing wrong? Just talking isn't working with her. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

[LadyTrinity]

Wicca is a religion. :eyebrow: Tell her that and maybe she will say " Oh my gawd, really? EW!! Religion is like boring and stuff :2G:

[DarkHeart13]

Wicca is a religion. :eyebrow: Tell her that and maybe she will say " Oh my gawd, really? EW!! Religion is like boring and stuff :2G:
Hmm...I think I will try that...it's a good thing her mom won't let her buy those books anyway....I mean, maybe one day she will be ready to accept Wicca/Witchcraft, but as of now I can tell she's not ready for it. I'm not even ready for a lot of stuff and I've been studying for years. Hopefully it's a phase and she'll grow out of it....

[StarCraftLia]

.

[Darakash]

Yes Trin, as you said Wicca IS a religion, but Witchcraft is not....and I wonder, Darkheart, does your friend have a specifice Religion? I mean, does she call her self a Wiccan? Does she consider herself a Christian who wants to do Witchcraft? Is she an Atheist?

I ask because, perhaps the best way to move her away from doing something stupid is to talk to her about her beliefs about hurting people, free will, and all that philosophy stuff, in a context she can understand. As in, if she has decided she is a Wiccan...then as LadyTrinity said, remind her that Wicca is a religion, with some accepted practices and such...you know like, no harm, that sort of thing....

What sort of spells/rituals is she expressing interest in? There are many many Rituals that are ways of honoring the God/dess and may actually be good for a new practioner...and some simple spellwork or energy raising and that sort of thing that have nothing to do with sillyness, like "love spells" and such, might help her begin to learn the nature of magic, without being harmful...maybe you could steer her in that direction?

[yavanna]

If she really wants to do spells and you feel she's not ready, I'd do what everyone else suggested and talk to her about her ethics. Its probably a good idea to find out how much she knows, she may have learned a lot on her own.

Also, there are many different types of witchcraft. Some witches believe that what is sent comes back, some don't adhere to this. If she doesn't adhere to the law of return then she doesnt have to worry about affecting free will etc... She may just have very different core beliefs about magic than you, of course she may have no core beliefs at all and really just wants to try spells out. It might be that you'll just have to let her be and if she gets into trouble you'll have to try and aviod saying "but I tried to warn you..." _whistle_

[Morgandria]

A fellow covener, Wisteria, has this amazing spell for giving to impatient wannabe spell-casters, or spell beggers. Sense of humour required - although you do have to give it to them seriously. It's a "love spell", so you know you'll catch someone somday...

********************************

1. Hold a live toad in your mouth for the three days leading up to the full moon. No talking, no eating, and DO NOT damage the toad.

2. Prepare a Love Ointment of aloe vera, paprika, Bag Balm, vanilla soy milk and Essence of Weasel In Rut. Mix it in a blue jar. It MUST be blue, robin's egg blue, preferably.

3. On the night of the full moon, strip naked and roll in the dew on the lawn of any guy named Murray, unless his address has the number 4 in it. If it does, just soak your head in his birdbath. Anoint yourself with your Love Ointment at this point, making sure to get a double coat on your butt.

4. Go to your would-be beloved's house, fire up a portable Hibachi, and grill the following ingredients: lavender, Faygo Creme Soda (it absolutely MUST be Faygo, and not diet, either), extra virgin olive oil, and a crumbled strawberry Pop Tart. Wave your arms wildly and waft the smoky vapors of love through a south-facing window of the house.

5. Climb through the window (break in if you have to - after all, it's for love!), and immediately iron the draperies, rearrange the furniture, and set the clock on the VCR to reflect any time zone in Russia. Dance wildly to the beat of the wailing smoke alarm.

6. As your beloved enters the living room to investigate the commotion, fling your wet, naked, ointment-covered self into his/her arms. Disregard any baseball bat/pepper spray/shotgun/restraining order he or she might be holding, and sing of your love at the top of your lungs in Portuguese. Viva l'amour!

[yavanna]

DO NOT damage the toad.




:falloffch

You know, I've known people that really would actually try to do this spell if I gave it to them...

[Meadhbh]

You can scold the child for playing with matches, but it won't learn its lesson until it gets burnt.

Thats a good point if after all your convencing her that its a bad idea doesn't work let her go do her thing. She'll stumble around for awhile and most likely get into trouble. But, its importain that she finds these things out on her own. There's a difference between someone telling you not to do certain things and finding out for yourself why their not such a good idea. Sometimes people have to learn to fix it on their own.

[Dio]

DarkHeart, sometimes the only way people learn is through trial and error. You could tell your friend a hundred times, "Dont do that" and it wouldn't do a bit of good. You may just have to stand back and watch as your friend makes some horrible mistakes. Sure, share your personal experiences and wisdom, but that may be all you can do. You can't shelter everyone. They have to be able to live and learn as well.

[tarotgirljess]

welcome to the hard part of 'free will'. you have explaine dtoher actions and consequences. there is nothing you can do now but let her learn the same way you did. by trial and error. sorry. good luck
Jess

[DarkHeart13]

Not all witches are wiccan. :)

I'm 16 and I've been practicing since I was eight, I've told friends about it and they more or less are just excited because of the spells. Most of the stop being interested when they realize magic takes concentration (when I told them to meditate they looked at me like I was on crack, laughed, then got this dumb look on their face) and it requires real work and energy.

Try not to stress the whole "three-fold" thing. I know it's a b*tch, but every person has to learn this for themselves; if you tell your friend she'll just want to do "black" magic even more. It's how it works. I know you want to protect your friend; explain to her and let her know your history with magic and the concerns you have.

You can scold the child for playing with matches, but it won't learn its lesson until it gets burnt.
I haven't exactly stressed the threefold law with her. I have however, told her that Wicca OR Witchcraft requires a lot of concentration and you must understand what you are doing. I mention meditation and everything and it just goes in one ear and out the other. I belive my friend seriously wants to do Witchcraft but for the wrong reasons. When she is around other friends she makes a point to say I'm a witch so then I'm bombarded with stupid questions like, "Can you do spells?" "Can you put a hex on my ex boyfriend?" "Do you know Voodoo?" Those are things she is interested in, however surprisingly, instead of asking ME to do it, SHE wants to learn about it. It's great to want to learn but not when you don't think ahead. I don't know how to say this without sounding mean, but she's not too smart. She has no common sense. She doesn't know what she's doing half of the time. She could never make it as a Witch.
*sigh* I just don't know what to do....

[DarkHeart13]

Yes Trin, as you said Wicca IS a religion, but Witchcraft is not....and I wonder, Darkheart, does your friend have a specifice Religion? I mean, does she call her self a Wiccan? Does she consider herself a Christian who wants to do Witchcraft? Is she an Atheist?

I ask because, perhaps the best way to move her away from doing something stupid is to talk to her about her beliefs about hurting people, free will, and all that philosophy stuff, in a context she can understand. As in, if she has decided she is a Wiccan...then as LadyTrinity said, remind her that Wicca is a religion, with some accepted practices and such...you know like, no harm, that sort of thing....

What sort of spells/rituals is she expressing interest in? There are many many Rituals that are ways of honoring the God/dess and may actually be good for a new practioner...and some simple spellwork or energy raising and that sort of thing that have nothing to do with sillyness, like "love spells" and such, might help her begin to learn the nature of magic, without being harmful...maybe you could steer her in that direction?

My friend was raised in a Baptist church, however her dad never went to church and she didn't have to go too much. She never expressed much interest in religion at all until I told her I was a Witch. Ever since she has automatically thought she was one too. I suppose I could try talking to her about philosophy concepts WITHOUT mentioning Wicca/Withcraft. That may help.
When she has mentioned love spells and such I have told her there are simple things to do before getting deeply involved, such as raising energy and celebrating holidays, etc. To keep her interested I mentioned that on Halloween, some Witches like to use Quija boards and such. I just don't think any of this is sinking in. I offered to have her over my house during the week so we could study the Craft together and I could even show her some things, but she wants to jump right into the harder stuff or right into spells which is completely meaningless if you haven't studied.
The next time she is up I will definately try talking to her again. Maybe I could try a Tarot spread to see what comes or pray and ask the Goddess what to do. So far I've been trying mundane tasks because even though I'm a Witch I don't think I'm ready to assist her magickally.

[DarkHeart13]

If she really wants to do spells and you feel she's not ready, I'd do what everyone else suggested and talk to her about her ethics. Its probably a good idea to find out how much she knows, she may have learned a lot on her own.

Also, there are many different types of witchcraft. Some witches believe that what is sent comes back, some don't adhere to this. If she doesn't adhere to the law of return then she doesnt have to worry about affecting free will etc... She may just have very different core beliefs about magic than you, of course she may have no core beliefs at all and really just wants to try spells out. It might be that you'll just have to let her be and if she gets into trouble you'll have to try and aviod saying "but I tried to warn you..." _whistle_

I understand what you're saying, but if she has any beliefs she's not showing them. All she talks about are spells. Well even Witches who don't follow the threefold law, maybe Satanic Witches, for example, they still have to plan it out and think carefully about their task. It's the result that is most important. THAT is what my friend is confused about I believe.

[Nadeshda]

6. As your beloved enters the living room to investigate the commotion, fling your wet, naked, ointment-covered self into his/her arms. Disregard any baseball bat/pepper spray/shotgun/restraining order he or she might be holding, and sing of your love at the top of your lungs in Portuguese. Viva o amor!

Fixed :D If you know anyone crazy enough to try this, please tell me, I'd be delighted write a few funny things in Portuguese. This is hilarious! LOL

On topic: as everyone else has said... let her learn on her own. We learn better through our own mistakes, rather then by people telling us what's going to happen. Of course, you can always try to talk some sense into her, but if it doesn't work and she still goes ahead, it's not your fault. You did everything you could.

[DarkHeart13]

A fellow covener, Wisteria, has this amazing spell for giving to impatient wannabe spell-casters, or spell beggers. Sense of humour required - although you do have to give it to them seriously. It's a "love spell", so you know you'll catch someone somday...

********************************

1. Hold a live toad in your mouth for the three days leading up to the full moon. No talking, no eating, and DO NOT damage the toad.

2. Prepare a Love Ointment of aloe vera, paprika, Bag Balm, vanilla soy milk and Essence of Weasel In Rut. Mix it in a blue jar. It MUST be blue, robin's egg blue, preferably.

3. On the night of the full moon, strip naked and roll in the dew on the lawn of any guy named Murray, unless his address has the number 4 in it. If it does, just soak your head in his birdbath. Anoint yourself with your Love Ointment at this point, making sure to get a double coat on your butt.

4. Go to your would-be beloved's house, fire up a portable Hibachi, and grill the following ingredients: lavender, Faygo Creme Soda (it absolutely MUST be Faygo, and not diet, either), extra virgin olive oil, and a crumbled strawberry Pop Tart. Wave your arms wildly and waft the smoky vapors of love through a south-facing window of the house.

5. Climb through the window (break in if you have to - after all, it's for love!), and immediately iron the draperies, rearrange the furniture, and set the clock on the VCR to reflect any time zone in Russia. Dance wildly to the beat of the wailing smoke alarm.

6. As your beloved enters the living room to investigate the commotion, fling your wet, naked, ointment-covered self into his/her arms. Disregard any baseball bat/pepper spray/shotgun/restraining order he or she might be holding, and sing of your love at the top of your lungs in Portuguese. Viva l'amour!

Lol...I could see her out hunting for a toad in the middle of the night...

[Windsmith]

DarkHeart, is there any chance that your friend actually has studied and knows what she's doing? Maybe she remembers you telling her you're a Witch so well because she's one, too, and was excited to be around someone else who she could be open about her spirituality with.

I suggest that you try to get her to open up about what she's studied, with who, and for how long. She was upset by you pointing out 101 type books in the store; try to draw her into a conversation about what she's read and what she thinks about it, and where she wants to be heading now. If it turns out she really has studied with a trustworthy teacher and has learned some things about Witchcraft, then you can lay your fears to rest and be glad to have a newly-found Witchy friend.

If, on the other hand, it's clear she's just getting into it because "majick is teh kewl!" then, hard as it may seem, you'll need to stand back and let her discover on her own that there's a lot more to it than waving a wand or twitching her nose or what have you. For your own peace of mind, though - and so you don't send a tacit message that you support her romp through Charmedville - you may want to be clear to her that you don't want to talk about things magic/witchcraft/Paganism-related: tell her it's your religion, and you take it seriously, and you don't want to talk about it frivolously. She may be hurt, but it's better than leading her to think you support her when you really don't.

[Mithrea]

Actually, I see nothing wrong with what she is doing. Let her learn as you did. Be a guide for her and let her find her own path. Just because you think she's wrong, doesn't mean she is. :)

[DarkHeart13]

DarkHeart, is there any chance that your friend actually has studied and knows what she's doing? Maybe she remembers you telling her you're a Witch so well because she's one, too, and was excited to be around someone else who she could be open about her spirituality with.

I suggest that you try to get her to open up about what she's studied, with who, and for how long. She was upset by you pointing out 101 type books in the store; try to draw her into a conversation about what she's read and what she thinks about it, and where she wants to be heading now. If it turns out she really has studied with a trustworthy teacher and has learned some things about Witchcraft, then you can lay your fears to rest and be glad to have a newly-found Witchy friend.

If, on the other hand, it's clear she's just getting into it because "majick is teh kewl!" then, hard as it may seem, you'll need to stand back and let her discover on her own that there's a lot more to it than waving a wand or twitching her nose or what have you. For your own peace of mind, though - and so you don't send a tacit message that you support her romp through Charmedville - you may want to be clear to her that you don't want to talk about things magic/witchcraft/Paganism-related: tell her it's your religion, and you take it seriously, and you don't want to talk about it frivolously. She may be hurt, but it's better than leading her to think you support her when you really don't.

I believe she could have studied on Witchcraft. I don't see how because she has no books or computer and our library has nothing on the subject except the Salem Witch Trials. Most teachers won't accept you unless you have parental consent and her parents wouldn't give it because they are very old fashioned and even told her at the store they wouldn't allow anything like that in their house because Witchcraft was of "the devil." I just find it odd that when she speaks of the Craft she shows NO knowledge of it whatsoever.
I hope I'm not sounding too negative. I respect the Craft and I respect her. There is no right or wrong way to begin a religion, but to understand spells, the one thing that attracts her, she should know the thought process behind it, what everything means. I'm just concerned she isn't ready.

If she truly wants to find religion in Wicca/WItchcraft, I support her 100%. I don't support the fact that she seems to only be interested in spells because they are magick. I want her to find happiness and Witchcraft is a great way, but you do not need spells to make you happy. I would actually love to practice the Craft with her. I only hope she moves beyond this "magick" thing.

[jcldragon]

I think you've been telling her all the right things, and she isn't listening. I suspect she thinks this is some kind of game, and all that could happen, is that she'd lose a few Spell Points.

Consider that she hasn't done her homework. She doesn't meditate, and hasn't developed her powers of concentration & visualization. How much do you think she could put into a Spell under those conditions?

Now the veils are thin at this time of year, so if she tries something dark, she'll have just enough power available to her to initiate something that ought to scare her considerably. Then she might get the idea that this isn't a game, and that it is very real.

The downside is, of course, that since it will all be her own fault, that she will blame it on you...

Back in 1969 I met a guy who said he was into Black Magic, and he challenged me to a Sorceror's Duel. I wasn't interested in any non-sensical duel, since I was into White Magic. However, when I got home I did take the precaution of putting up a simple shield to reflect negative things, before I dismissed the whole thing from my mind...

A week later I ran into him again, and he was terrified. His car had died. He had been fired from his job, and his girlfriend had thrown him out on the street. He begged me to turn off whatever I had done. Well, I hadn't done anything, except put up a tiny shield, and I wasn't going to remove that...

[Amelserru_halqu]

lol... That was me. For five years that was me... Your friend probably won't listen, but she could still do some damage; you might be surprised what a willing mind can do.



Discalimer: anything I say is entirely personal opinion, don't try my ideas, hell I haven't tried most of this crap and I didn't have a clue for five years, I thank the gods I didn't manage to kill myself doing what I did. You've been warned.



Even if she can't visualize there are other ways of accomplishing the same thing. She can act it out, and can physically represent it with dolls, knots, candles, write it down on paper, and so forth. I for example found that anger could sharpen my intention down to a razor’s edge, to the point I couldn’t think of anything else, and coupled with chanting nonsensical words and invoking the gods, usually Ra, the name fits so well into nonsensical chanting : ) , I could get decent results, fairly close to what I intended. Of course now I have to balance the equation, but that’s another story.

So basically visualization helps but it isn't necessary, you can even get results by just throwing energy at the problem in a method akin to watering a flower garden with a fire hose. Of course your results probably won’t be what you really wanted but results all the same. She can draw energy from literally hundreds of sources, emotions, chanting, dancing, blood sacrifice, animal sacrifice, and so forth, plus think of all the entities that would be interested in having a nice little debt owed to them by your friend. This should provide ample power to work her will.

You have to worry more if she's "creative" (meaning inventive enough to create a working monstrosity and have no clue what she's doing, think Victor von Frankenstein).

My advice is for you to protect yourself, especially if she's temperamental, because eventually she'll mess up and you could catch some of the backlash just by being around her. The positive side is that if she survives her mistakes, and wants to continue, she just might start listening to you. It might take awhile... I didn't figure out what I was doing until I got directed here... just wait her out, she'll fall; just make sure you're there to help pick her back up.

Please excuse my tirade of half-baked ideas and my horrible grammar. : )

Oh and to reiterate, I have NOT and wouldn't have tried most of the crap I listed so don't kill me. I merely brainstormed and came up with a few ideas. If anyone thinks something in this post might be detrimental to someone's growth and learning, completely wrong, or just plain dangerous, just PM me and I'll edit it out. No need to screw someone else’s journey up.

Now excuse me while I get off my soap box and cower in the sand.

[StarCraftLia]

A fellow covener, Wisteria, has this amazing spell for giving to impatient wannabe spell-casters, or spell beggers. Sense of humour required - although you do have to give it to them seriously. It's a "love spell", so you know you'll catch someone somday...

********************************

1. Hold a live toad in your mouth for the three days leading up to the full moon. No talking, no eating, and DO NOT damage the toad.

2. Prepare a Love Ointment of aloe vera, paprika, Bag Balm, vanilla soy milk and Essence of Weasel In Rut. Mix it in a blue jar. It MUST be blue, robin's egg blue, preferably.

3. On the night of the full moon, strip naked and roll in the dew on the lawn of any guy named Murray, unless his address has the number 4 in it. If it does, just soak your head in his birdbath. Anoint yourself with your Love Ointment at this point, making sure to get a double coat on your butt.

4. Go to your would-be beloved's house, fire up a portable Hibachi, and grill the following ingredients: lavender, Faygo Creme Soda (it absolutely MUST be Faygo, and not diet, either), extra virgin olive oil, and a crumbled strawberry Pop Tart. Wave your arms wildly and waft the smoky vapors of love through a south-facing window of the house.

5. Climb through the window (break in if you have to - after all, it's for love!), and immediately iron the draperies, rearrange the furniture, and set the clock on the VCR to reflect any time zone in Russia. Dance wildly to the beat of the wailing smoke alarm.

6. As your beloved enters the living room to investigate the commotion, fling your wet, naked, ointment-covered self into his/her arms. Disregard any baseball bat/pepper spray/shotgun/restraining order he or she might be holding, and sing of your love at the top of your lungs in Portuguese. Viva l'amour!


Omfg! LMFAO!! :yayah:

[bbnflpn]

yah that spell is funny, and i do know of some people that just might do that kind of thing (none of my witch friends though)
i think that my sister went through the same thing. years ago i found a spell book in her room. she said she was looking in to beeing a witch. but that was the only book she had, i dont know where she got it from or if some one gave it to her. all i know is that she stopped doing what ever she was doing. when i came out as a witch to her she was alittle upset with me for it. i think she realizes that i am not the same as her. i my self learned about the power of magic at a young age. i didnt know i had that much power, looking back i realize that i did alot of unintentional magic. after this major incodent (it involved my dog getting killed cause i wished her dead, and all because she was barking and i had a migrane) i had been so upset that i did that (and at the time i realized i had done it, right when i heard she had died i knew it was my doing) when i finnaly had the realization that i was infact a witch i had no disire to do magic because of it.

some one mentioned earlyer in the thread that if she does do something and it comes back to her it may be her fault but she will blame you. i would also talk to her about personal acountability. and learning not to blame others for her own problems. (ie: not my fualt cause i gave the job to someone else type of thing)

[jcldragon]

lol... That was me. For five years that was me... Your friend probably won't listen, but she could still do some damage; you might be surprised what a willing mind can do.Your post reminds me of a very great book people should read : The EarthSea trilogy by Ursula K Le Guin... especially the first book, A Wizard of EarthSea. Now while this is just fantasy literature, it is a wise cautionary tale, and very much applies in principle to the workings of Magick. Not that Magick works like it is described in the book, but the underlying principle is exactly spot on.

My personal approach to Spellwork is quite different from that of most Wiccan authors. I figure that everybody, regardless of what they think or believe, is practicing magick constantly, whether they know it or not. Our inmost attitudes & worldviews, are constantly gravitating conditions into our lives that match what is going on inside of us. Thus, the external world that we are experiencing, is in large degree, a reflection of the conditions prevailing in our internal world. So when I decide to do some magick, I merely change my attitude about my relationship with the world, and things ripple out from there. Remember of course, that we are all co-creators of the conditions of the Universe...

[DarkHeart13]

I think you've been telling her all the right things, and she isn't listening. I suspect she thinks this is some kind of game, and all that could happen, is that she'd lose a few Spell Points.

Consider that she hasn't done her homework. She doesn't meditate, and hasn't developed her powers of concentration & visualization. How much do you think she could put into a Spell under those conditions?

Now the veils are thin at this time of year, so if she tries something dark, she'll have just enough power available to her to initiate something that ought to scare her considerably. Then she might get the idea that this isn't a game, and that it is very real.

The downside is, of course, that since it will all be her own fault, that she will blame it on you...

Back in 1969 I met a guy who said he was into Black Magic, and he challenged me to a Sorceror's Duel. I wasn't interested in any non-sensical duel, since I was into White Magic. However, when I got home I did take the precaution of putting up a simple shield to reflect negative things, before I dismissed the whole thing from my mind...

A week later I ran into him again, and he was terrified. His car had died. He had been fired from his job, and his girlfriend had thrown him out on the street. He begged me to turn off whatever I had done. Well, I hadn't done anything, except put up a tiny shield, and I wasn't going to remove that...

Well, I was pretty much so worried about her because when I first started the Craft, I knew about how to write spells and concentrate and everything, but my meditation and visualization skills weren't too good. Also, I never thought of cause and effect. My friend really hurt me at the time. She didn't want to see me anymore and I couldn't understand why. I had tried talking to her but she didn't care. I did the only thing I could think of back then, and that was Black magick. I did a spell with knot magick. Obviously the spell wasn't meant to be, for it came back to me, hard. I also think it wasn't meant to be because now we are friends again and have forgotten the past. But the spell really backfired. There were many arguments in my home. My dad busted a hole through the door, threatened to leave. I was cutting myself and trying to commit suicide. I got sent to placement. This is why I am so worried about her. I don't want her to get into the same mess that I did.

[EternalMaiden]

Okay I have a little situation on my hands here...I think it was a big mistake letting my friend know I was a Witch. However, this was like two years ago and I didn't think she'd remember. The only thing she is concerned with are spells and rituals. We were at Borders last week and she wanted to buy Witchcraft books. I directed her to the beginner's books, or ones that talked about pretty much everything instead of the one topic of spells. She insisted on telling me she already knew this when I know she doesn't.
I'm just upset by this because I'm worried she will do something she will later regret. I'm only 15 and I've been studying since I was 12. I still haven't done anything major with spellwork, maybe something for the holidays or whatever. When I first started I really screwed up by doing a black magick spell and it came back to me, hard. She doesn't know what she's doing and I dont' want anything bad to happen to her. Is there any way to get her to see what she's doing wrong? Just talking isn't working with her. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

I know how you feel. But in reguards to your friend, do you think she'd listen to anything except for her own personal experience?
I wouldn't at a young age, I wanted personal gratification and immediately. So the karmic whiplash of that was just as so.

I'd actually suggest that you help her find a spell. Or, guide her (silently) to a spell worth casting. Ask her what she wants to acheive, remind her of the threefold law, and just continue being her friend....

[Storm72064]

Hi....I think you've already gotten a lot of good advice. Most of all talk to her about the ethics.Other than that just let her make her own mistakes. I know you want to protect her, but you can't.That's how people learn. Trial and error.That's life. OFten times people who do spells who aren't ready hurt other people without intending too. Maybe you can help protect others from her. Try a Binding Spell so she can't hurt innocent people.Above all else remember this is only my opinion. You must always do what you believe to be right.Ask the Goddess for guidence.

[Gerbillcat]

I had the exact same experience when i first started practising Wicca. I thought it would be fun having friends who were starting out on the same path but i was very wrong. One of them in particular loved the idea of using spells to gain power over people, i tried to guide her off the idea (explaining the law of three etc) but she took offense saying that i thought i knew more than her. My other friend had similar goals to her and sort of encouraged her to try out certain spells and so it was very much the two of us sitting on her shoulder trying to pull her in completely different directions. It resulted in alot of arguments, mostly with the two of them ganging up on me, later on i found out off another friend that they had tried to hex me. Eventually they both strayed off the path, the friend i had tried to guide was ultimately embarassed about telling anyone she was pagan because several people she had told made fun of her for it and my other friend was just bored by the idea that there was a spiritual side to Wicca aswell. Other people here have already given pretty good advice and the only thing i can add is that speaking from experience people who are only interested in Wicca for the spells, specifically using those spells against other people, will get bored of it eventually. Whether they hurt themselves along the way isn't anything you can help especially if they turn down the help or advice you offer.

[DarkHeart13]

I know how you feel. But in reguards to your friend, do you think she'd listen to anything except for her own personal experience?
I wouldn't at a young age, I wanted personal gratification and immediately. So the karmic whiplash of that was just as so.

I'd actually suggest that you help her find a spell. Or, guide her (silently) to a spell worth casting. Ask her what she wants to acheive, remind her of the threefold law, and just continue being her friend....

I was going to do my Samhain ritual Tuesday, after school, but I doubt I will have time to get it ready. I figured I could do it on the Celtic day of November 7th. If my friend is free, I will invite her up and show her how a ritual is done. I'll write parts for her if she is truly interested. The good thing about this ritual is that it isn't a spell. I'm not asking or doing anything to someone, which is what she normally wants to do. This ritual may turn her away from magick, or get her to see what the Craft is really like and she may want to do actually learn.

[DarkHeart13]

I just wanted to thank everyone for giving me such wonderful advice. I haven't had my friend up for a while so I haven't heard much of her Witchcraft talk. But it means a lot to me that everyone has spent their time trying to help me out with this situation. I will try my hardest to not tell her "how it is," but to go with the flow, while still trying to show her the right path. I'll have to appear as if I'm just giving helpful ideas and not as if I am teaching her, but as if we are doing it together. It'll be hard, but thank you again.
Blessed Be!!

[LadyKaty]

Happens when we're not even trying.

I've been thinking after lurking and reading your thread.

Consider that I'm coming from the perspective of being a few years (ha, ha, you all were born when I was in junior high, which kinda makes me feel old, lol) older than y'all. But, I can clearly look back to when I was seventeen, and I was impetuous, and of course, I knew everything. I didn't need anyone to guide me, or tell me what to do or how to do it, and I sure as hell didn't need someone to TEACH me about what path I wanted to pursue!

Looking back, I could have saved myself a lot of trouble had I bothered to listen to those older and wiser than me, but I'd have missed a lot of life experience that I earned, granted, I earned it the hard way, but it was necessary.

Your friend is being an impetuous seventeen year old. If you keep this in mind, and understand that she will have to learn, and at some point she will have to learn the hard way as you did, you'll do a lot better.

It sounds to me like you are very wise in including her in your Samhain ritual. If you involve her, and instead of being pedantic and telling her that she must see this as a learning experience just allow her to participate if she wishes, she'll be the better for it. She will learn more about the Craft, and she will be able to decide, with better clarity, if she wants to go further.

Be patient. Because, really, you will have to be patient with her.

I think you are going about this well. And taking wonderful advice from this forum, from people who are wiser and more experienced than I am! My only advice is just to be patient, involve her as much as you feel comfortable with, and teach her by example. It's better to set a good example than to give a good lecture sometimes.

Blessed be!

[halfwaynowhere]

well, i don't know your friend, but when i was first starting out, i read Teen Witch, by Silver Ravenwolf, and promptly decided to try out one of the spells in the back of the book... it was a spell for a new car... that was far from what we needed, but i followed her directions precisely, and waited and waited, and nothing... that was over 6 years ago, and my family didn't buy any cars until this year, when they bought me my car... nothing to do with that silly spell that promised a new car in 3 days, or something like that... but it did teach me that magic isn't for silly frivolous things, and it won't work unless you need it to work... maybe show her a really stupid spell like that, and offer to do it with her, and then when it doesn't work, maybe she'll see that if she really wants to use magic, that she needs to learn more about it, how it works, right and wrong, etc...

[Kaylara]

My suggestion, let her screw it up herself. She's obviously the kind of person who has to make mistakes for herself before she'll learn a lesson.

[LadyCelt]

Explain the rede and how your actions come back to you. that's the only thing I can think of

[gurlygurl2004]

Hmm...I think I will try that...it's a good thing her mom won't let her buy those books anyway....I mean, maybe one day she will be ready to accept Wicca/Witchcraft, but as of now I can tell she's not ready for it. I'm not even ready for a lot of stuff and I've been studying for years. Hopefully it's a phase and she'll grow out of it....

That's probably what it is, she sounds like a big wannabe, and she's just being teenybopper type of rebellious by thinking it's cool and I piss my mom, or my church off with it. But if you've tried everything, the best way to deal with it, is let her try it on her own. I know that sounds like the worst thing but she tries something and realizes it didn't work, or it made her feel bad, she's not very likely to do it again, and she may take your advice.

[gurlygurl2004]

You know what's so weird, I consider myself a witch but I don't do spells. I mostly pray, but I don't begin it, or end it like regular Christians. But I sure did try spells when I was a few years younger, and I've learned what to do spells for and what not to spells for. Sometimes it's actually best to embrace pagan ideas without the rituals, and spellwork.

Disclaimer: Personal opinion and experience.

[jcldragon]

I just wanted to thank everyone for giving me such wonderful advice. I haven't had my friend up for a while so I haven't heard much of her Witchcraft talk. But it means a lot to me that everyone has spent their time trying to help me out with this situation. I will try my hardest to not tell her "how it is," but to go with the flow, while still trying to show her the right path. I'll have to appear as if I'm just giving helpful ideas and not as if I am teaching her, but as if we are doing it together. It'll be hard, but thank you again.
Blessed Be!!That's the sort of thing people say before they grow into Great Teachers.

[AstralMagick]

Maybe you should teach your friend how to make spells herself, so she'd put more thought into them. Ask her if she's made any, or give her some you've made yourself (good luck, raising energy, psychic dreams...), or, like the Samhain ritual, include her in some Workings you're doing.
Then, as HalfWay said, you might want to give her a phony spell and let her find out herself it wont work. Then she might start truely thinking.

[jcldragon]

Maybe you should teach your friend how to make spells herself, so she'd put more thought into them. Ask her if she's made any, or give her some you've made yourself (good luck, raising energy, psychic dreams...), or, like the Samhain ritual, include her in some Workings you're doing.Well, in that vein, here's Spell I wrote that you might consider, (probably this is one that Darkheart might want to try herself).

Spell for a Perfect Ordinary Day (http://www.jamesclairlewis.com/pages/metaphysics/ordinary.html)

[DarkHeart13]

Happens when we're not even trying.

I've been thinking after lurking and reading your thread.

Consider that I'm coming from the perspective of being a few years (ha, ha, you all were born when I was in junior high, which kinda makes me feel old, lol) older than y'all. But, I can clearly look back to when I was seventeen, and I was impetuous, and of course, I knew everything. I didn't need anyone to guide me, or tell me what to do or how to do it, and I sure as hell didn't need someone to TEACH me about what path I wanted to pursue!

Looking back, I could have saved myself a lot of trouble had I bothered to listen to those older and wiser than me, but I'd have missed a lot of life experience that I earned, granted, I earned it the hard way, but it was necessary.

Your friend is being an impetuous seventeen year old. If you keep this in mind, and understand that she will have to learn, and at some point she will have to learn the hard way as you did, you'll do a lot better.

It sounds to me like you are very wise in including her in your Samhain ritual. If you involve her, and instead of being pedantic and telling her that she must see this as a learning experience just allow her to participate if she wishes, she'll be the better for it. She will learn more about the Craft, and she will be able to decide, with better clarity, if she wants to go further.

Be patient. Because, really, you will have to be patient with her.

I think you are going about this well. And taking wonderful advice from this forum, from people who are wiser and more experienced than I am! My only advice is just to be patient, involve her as much as you feel comfortable with, and teach her by example. It's better to set a good example than to give a good lecture sometimes.

Blessed be!

Thank you for responding. I began writing the Samhain ritual yesterday. I feel Samhain is a great way to get her started because it is the Witches' New Year. She can participate in writing her own goals for the upcoming year. It will involve concentration on her part. I also thought I could try scrying with her to add something fun.

I was honestly concerned at first because she wouldn't listen of course. I guess most beginners don't listen? I didn't really have a guide so I read books and did a lot of thinking before I made up my mind to do anything ritualistic. I guess it's all based on personality, really.

I guess teaching her is kind of like a Pagan parent teaching a Pagan child. You don't tell them what to do or how to learn. You just involve them in rituals and let them pick their own path.

I'm really grateful for all the responses. I would have never came up with the idea of involving my friend if it weren't for all the posts regarding my problem.

[DarkHeart13]

That's the sort of thing people say before they grow into Great Teachers.

Aww...It's so wonderful to hear that! Thank you!!

[DarkHeart13]

Maybe you should teach your friend how to make spells herself, so she'd put more thought into them. Ask her if she's made any, or give her some you've made yourself (good luck, raising energy, psychic dreams...), or, like the Samhain ritual, include her in some Workings you're doing.
Then, as HalfWay said, you might want to give her a phony spell and let her find out herself it wont work. Then she might start truely thinking.

Yes, if she likes the Samhain ritual, I will definately show her how to write her own spells and rituals. If she wants I could write one with her, concerning something she needs or whatever. My biggest concern is not whether she LIKES the Samhain ritual, but whether it makes her THINK or not. I hope she gets something out of it.

[Shanti]

We all should walk our own path.
As to what we should or shouldnt do is a question we must ask ourselves. We all learn our own way.

She is not wrong unless she feels she is. It is her path, her learning. She will do what she needs to learn. How she will go about it is her choice.

If she has mistakes to make they are hers to make.
You may find that not all you think that is a mistake, actually is.

[Kalika]

Okay I have a little situation on my hands here...I think it was a big mistake letting my friend know I was a Witch. However, this was like two years ago and I didn't think she'd remember. The only thing she is concerned with are spells and rituals. We were at Borders last week and she wanted to buy Witchcraft books. I directed her to the beginner's books, or ones that talked about pretty much everything instead of the one topic of spells. She insisted on telling me she already knew this when I know she doesn't.
I'm just upset by this because I'm worried she will do something she will later regret. I'm only 15 and I've been studying since I was 12. I still haven't done anything major with spellwork, maybe something for the holidays or whatever. When I first started I really screwed up by doing a black magick spell and it came back to me, hard. She doesn't know what she's doing and I dont' want anything bad to happen to her. Is there any way to get her to see what she's doing wrong? Just talking isn't working with her. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Unfortunately, sometimes you just have to let them make their mistakes.

You can't make her listen and understand, when she doesn't want to. All you can do is be a good role model and hope for the best.

:(