Coming Out Stories?

[KeelinConvallaria]

Anybody have any interesting stories about when they "came out of the broom closet?" It's kind of getting difficult to hide my paganism from my parents (See story below), so I want to hear about your experiences.

Today I was outside trying to find a fallen branch that would make a good wand. My mom asks me, "Why are you bringing a stick into the house?" After a moment of uh-ohness on my part, I come up with the genius response of, "It's pretty!" :lol:

[Amina]

Hahahaha!
*looks at KeelinConvallaria*
LOL hahah!

Oh geez.
Can you tell I'm not out yet?
Somebody help me..

:ugh: :alol:

~BF~

[KeelinConvallaria]

:bumpsmili
C'mon, unless you're trying to convince me that none of you are out yet, you must have stories!

[Geministar]

I guess I feel like I've always been this way. I did officially come out at age 17 a little more than 6 years ago. It didnt really suprise anyone. My parents are pretty understanding about everything thankfully. Now they are asking me questions and trying to understand a little more about my beliefs. My siblings are all also into some type of paganism, but not to the extent that I am. My family figured it out when they started seeing my pentacle jewlrey and such. I was already on my own so they didnt have much say, but I find that in most cases people are more understanding then what you may think. I hope you are able to come out soon. To me if prople dont know that part of my life then they dont know all of me. I only mean this for friends and close family, the ones that count to you. Hiding your spirituality is not fun, but you have to decise for yourself if its worth coming out yet or if it will cause to many problems for the time being. Good luck!!!

[wolf]

I just up and told my mom one day when we were eating dinner together in a restaurant. I figured she wouldn't make a scene in a restaurant. I was right. She, however, still thinks it's some kind of a "phase."

I'm in my forties. It's not a phase.

I'm semi-out at work. I don't to up to everyone saying "Hi, my name is wolf, and I'm a witch," but folks seem to just know at this point that I'm of a more mystical turn. I have other staff coming up to me looking for dream interpretations, tarot readings, and questions about animal totems.

[Mizu no Tennyou]

I have a rather bad one. I was 16 and on my birthday my grandmother on my father's side and my aunt wanted to come by and have lunch with me. (Thing's have always been tense with that side especially since my mother and father's divorce. But I have never been mean to them. They are my family reguardless, you know?) After lunch they were taking me to meet coffee with my friend and I worked up the courage to ask about our family line. I asked if any one ever practiced witchcraft in our family line. They started bursting out laughing. I just sank in the back seat hopeing they would forget about it. Once we got to the coffee shop, I thanked them for the lunch and left, wanting to sink into the floor. But I never doubted my path. And even though I was only 16 then, I was angry for not being taken seriously. Ever since then I have been careful what I ask and say to others about my path. When I look back on it now, it was something I needed to learn I suppose.

[Toby Stimpson]

Good topic...although honstly I have to giggle when you say coming out, maybe just becasue Im gay i find it funny it being used as a religious way. Well, for my coming out...it was two sided...i came out of the perverbial gay closet first...and only after did I say i was pagan. Although it just sort of vaguely happened really, although right now in my life I don't care. I know my parents don't understand it, and I don't really see any reason to intentionally create an issue out of it if they are being respectful. When i first started looking into Witchcraft (and i say 'looking into' with an uncompfortable feeling...)...I was quite umm, bizarre and militant, although that also came with being a young gay kid in a small town lol. Now, my parents have seen my Alter, as i try to make it a central part of my room...or used to before going to college, and their only rule was "no candles or incense"...which I can agree with. Honestly, if you choose to make an issue about it with some parents, of what I have seen with friends...the parents will also make it an issue.

Namaste

Tobias

[Mouse]

Cool thread.

I was honest about it right from the outset. I didn't really have much of a choice. I wanted to learn, but i was too young to get a job and mum didn't give us pocket money, so if I wanted the books or herbs or whatever I generally had no choice but to ask for them for xmas or my birthday. But I avoided talking about it, I hated the questions and the "don't sacrifice the pets" jokes.

But everytime mum meets someone new it's like comming out all over again for me, because thats one of the first things she tells people about me. Almost everyone laughs, or asks about satan.

At first, for me, it was like comming out as a gay. I was ashamed, I felt like I was different (and i am, but it took a long time for me to see that as a good thing). I never went through the "i'm so cool, im a witch" stage, because although i was drawn to it, i didnt want anyone to know. I thought there was something wrong with me. Once I got over thinking there was something wrong with me I realised that some people wont understand no matter what happens, they are prejudiced. Being a witch and having to "come out" so i could just be myself taught me something though. I know that I will never come out of the other closet. I'm Bi, but comming out as a witch showed me that I should NEVER admit it. Because some people never get over it, they always see what they like least in you first. Even when they say they accept you, you know they don't because it's the first thing bought up in every argument.

I'll shut up now..lol

[Chesna]

Really good thread....

I am still in the closet for most people. My hubby knows of course and a few friends, but my family.. heck no!!!
I know with the next child we have it wiull come up. We have decided that our next child will not be baptized. Neither of us believe in it. My hubby has recently come to see he is agnostic. My parents and most of my family being Christian may have a hard time with it all. You see, I was 28 almost when I started on this path. I am 30 now, and have received my 1st degree and wondered why I took me so long to come home.
I think I am hesitiant because it goes back to those child/parent roles we play growing up. I still feel like the kid when I am around them. So because of this, I just clam up. But once it comes up about baptizing I'll have to state my beliefs and see how it goes.

Chesna

[Calen]

It was kind of gradual with me, I think. They noticed me coming on Pagan websites a lot, and mom was with me when I'd go to the library to get books out. At first they supposed it was just their curious Gemini daughter checking things out.
If I had a particular 'coming out' moment, it was with my mom and my eldest sister when I told them about my first attempt at spellwork. Mom told me she was interested in 'whatever I wanted to talk about', which was the nice, supportive thing to say, I suppose, despite the fact that they both probably thought I was out of my tree.

[Everwynd]

I didn't really. I've just always been the way I am and done the things I've done and no one questioned it. Friends, family, no one. Ever. My work all knows. I've got pentacles and crescent moons up, they let me light candles. I hate to say it because who knows how true it is but I think California is a pretty relaxed state when it comes to the alternative and that's where I grew up.

It makes me feel so sad for those of you who encounter difficulties. I'm sure I'll hit a wall somewhere down the line but I'm counting every one of my blessings until then.

[LostSheep]

I don't know if my dad does have any inkling yet (inkling - good word). he's never been remotely religious, i don't know when he might notice my pentacle and if he ever might wonder why i've suddenly started buying candles and incense... still, i suppose it's easier if he doesn't take it seriously than if he thinks I'm worshipping the devil ... isn't it?

[jcldragon]

Back in 1967, when I was 16, I got into White Magic. This isn't the first incarnation in which I've been involved in these things. I was just picking up where I left off. By 1969 my Mom was working as a secretary for the Rosicrucians (AMORC), so there really wasn't much of a coming out process. Sometimes she would ask me questions about them, and since I had been a Rosicrucian in a past incarnation, I was able to fill her in on a few things, even though I was actually a member of the Brotherhood of the White Temple, ( http://www.bwtemple.org ).

Currently, I work in a comedy group known as the Ding Dong Show. When Don introduces my act he says that I am the only performer who combines stand-up comedy with modern dance, and the Martial Arts. Then he goes on to tell the entire audience that I am a Witch.

Talk about being publicly outed! hehehe So here I am up on stage with a room full of people, and Don wanted to know if I could do Spells. Well, of course I can, but it's not so much that I can do magick, as that I am Magick. Gradually, Don has been noticing that magickal things just seem to happen around me. He won't let any of us see how the movie is being edited, but I know that he really can't let any of us appear bad, so it's going to be very interesting to see how that all plays out, when the movie is released this coming Spring...

[Antoninus]

Talk about being publicly outed! Thats like getting outed with dynamite :)

I have not yet told my family, but I think they suspect anyways. I have two pentacles, both of which I claimed to get from friends and just like the design. Ive checked out alot of Pagan/Wiccan books and my mother (Who works at the local library) usually returns them. So they probably suspect but they dont know for sure.

Im not falling over myself to tell them, they never take anything I do or love seriously. Every single life plan that Ive ever told them about they laugh at or systematicaly shred it. My parents have never been real supporting about anything I like. I just dont want something I hold so dear to be the butt end of more jokes. My parents make everything into a joke and never take anything I say seriously. The rest of my family...Im not real close to them and I dont see any real need to tell them. My family is all pretty wierd themselves but they could put the English kings to shame with thier gossiping habbits and theyre much less inclined to take direct issue with something or someone and just be fake nice untill that person turns around

Most of my friends know, if you just came up to me on the street and asked me I would probably say "Yes, I am a Pagan". I just really keep it from my immediate family. Though if they went looking, the signs are EVERYWHERE

[LyraDragonStar]

Wow...I told my friends in the 6th or 7th grade I think. I specifially remember asking them what they'd think of people like that...then I told them. They all accepted me, but I think it's cuz they're so naive. lol. One of my friends actually tried to ask me to do spells for her and another asked if I could find out if she was magick too. :T Infact, one of my friends attempted to be Wiccan too, but she was not serious about it like I was. Too this day, I still call her a fluffy...and occasionally a poser. To her face. She has no idea what I'm talking about when I say either, so it's all good. lol.

As for with my family. I live with my mom during the school year up here in Kansas. As far as I know, she doesn't know. My brother knows though. That's about it from family here. However, when it comes to people at my dads house..that's another story. While I was there over this past summer, my grandparents decided to go SNOOPING through my BoS while I was out for the weekend. My grandmother made the BIGGEST production over it. She is the most devoted Christian you will ever meet. All you ever hear is God this, God that, isn't it wonderful how we were given such things by God, Do you know... Blah Blah Blah. It's really annoying. She attempted to convert me until my mom told her off. Haha. My mom doesn't even know about it!! :D

[Dark Phoenix]

My mom knew almost from the beginning and was cool with it, my brother teased me at first but accepts it now but other then that only an uncle and a couple of friends(outside my Pagan friends) have any idea. Personally I'm in no rush to tell anyone else, I don't feel the need to.

[LyraDragonStar]

Yea, same here! I see no rush in running off and telling people. It's not like Christians or anyone else goes around saying: hi, I'm christian. To everyone they meet. lol. If people really wanted to know though...I'd tell 'em. What's there to be ashamed of?

[Gerbillcat]

Well i had always been interested in the paranormal and psychic powers and so i don't it was a huge shock to my parents when i came out. My dad was the first one to catch me, i suppose i shouldn't have been chanting so loudly with other people in the house but he actually found it all amusing. My mum was less pleased when she caught me, atfirst i thought the look on her face was because of the fact i was practising "witchcraft" (with her being a practising catholic) but it was actually because i was burning candles in my bedroom and she quite rightly didn't want me to burn the house down. She didn't come out then and there and ask me about what Wicca was (that all came later), she just said that if i wanted to do any more spells or rituals i had to do it downstairs where she could keep an eye on the candles. I had worried about telling her and it was a great boost of confidence to my judgement that she wasn't offended by what i was doing because when i first started it was a little difficult to shake off the doubts that maybe by being Wiccan and not Christian i could go to hell but by having her blessing i really knew i was on the right track. I'm not sure what i would be like today if she had reacted differently.

[acorn elf]

Well.. the first time I got into witchcraft was in about 4th grade.. my friends showed me some glamour spell on the playground and we did it for everybody. That was when I found out even 4th graders can be as ignorant and closed-minded as their parents. My best friend kept telling me I was going to hell.

I didn't really think about magic again until .. last year? And I've not told any of my friends but it comes up sometimes. Some people know I like to do fortune-telling cards, my family doesn't know about my rituals and things but they know I like herbs. At Christmas I was happy to get a mortar and pestle I had been asking for and my dad imitated me, "Oh, Wolfsbane! I'm SO happy!".. they don't really have to ask.

And, being atheist, my parents will probably make fun of whatever faith I have--why not? But I've never had a religion and don't feel comfortable with one--I only practice witchcraft, I'm not deciding to be Pagan yet.

[KeelinConvallaria]

Well.. the first time I got into witchcraft was in about 4th grade.. my friends showed me some glamour spell on the playground and we did it for everybody. That was when I found out even 4th graders can be as ignorant and closed-minded as their parents. My best friend kept telling me I was going to hell.

Yeah, I remember everyone was really into magic and stuff in 4th/5th grade. We'd sneak inside every day at recess to play Bloody Mary in the bathroom mirror. And it didn't help that there were rumours going around that the woman our school was named after (Former principal) was supposed to have committed suicide in said bathroom. :muwaha:

[ravenscape]

In some ways I've been out for ages, and in others I am still in the broom closet.

I was 20 when my mother discovered that I had ceased to be a Christian. She read a letter I had written to a friend but had not yet mailed. We had a long horrible family discussion about that letter. My mom blamed my dad for my deconversion because he wasn't an up-front-and-out-there Christian. It killed his soul to be forced to talk to me about his religious beliefs that week.

At that point in my life I was agnostic. Jury completely out with regard to whether there is a Divine presence in the Multiverse.

Anyway that was nearly 20 years ago and it's still one of the worst memories of my life. My mom is hard-core fundamentalist. If she ever visits my home there will be no doubt in her mind, given the decor, the altars and the books in my bookshelves. But she hasn't been in my home in over 10 years. That's her choice, she'd be welcome in my home.

When I visit my parents religion often comes up, because she talks incessantly about her church. I have made it clear that I respect most religious paths. I'd say all, but that would include Jim Jones, David Koresh and other religious leaders and their flocks. Although I think that someone could find the Divine even in a religious group run by the likes of Jones or Koresh, I don't think that the religious organizations they founded had anything to do with the Divine. Their followers may have found the Divine in spite of the leaders, not because of them.

Ok, that was a bit of a segue. :yikes:

Anyway, I've made it clear that my religious leanings these days are toward Universalism, but I have not shared with my parents that I am a Pagan panthiest. They'll have to come to my home to figure that out. :D

In my life here in the PNW, I am fairly open about my religious beliefs. If someone asks, I tell. I don't wear identifiably Pagan jewelry, because I seldom wear any jewelry at all except for stones/minerals, which I choose for their magical, healing or spiritual qualities and characteristics, not for their settings.

But, I do have a small sacred space in my office, and two altars in my home as well as a circle in my back yard. I decided to create a sacred space in my office earlier this year for the purposes of psychic self-defense. My building is filled with a lot of negative emotions and general angst. It was really getting me down. My office altar helps a little, but it's still a very negative building. I have to get out and walk or take some paperwork outdoors most days.

People of many different religions live in my community, including Pagans. There is no great stigma attached to being a non-Christian of any sort, including a Pagan.

[Know Your Rights]

I think I just came out tonight... it was really quite odd...
So I'm at a hockey game with my friends (day before haloween, we're dressed up) and this one girl says that she's a 'wicca' and tries to go on to explain what that is, and I just laughed, I'm like 'Yah, I know what it is.... I am...' of course, my best friend is right beside me.. nobody said anything, in fact, I didn't get a reaction from anyone ^^ I didn't expect that, but I'd rather that than whatever else I coulda gotten....

[~Emily~]

I had a reputation for being a witch even before I started studying the Craft. When I was young, I would tell my parents what was going to happen in the future, and they always looked at me strangely when it came true. I had my own little system of magic and I loved to brag about my accomplishments to anyone who would listen. It got me into trouble more than a few times!

As I got older, I started holding my tongue, and eventually began to formally study the occult. I've never had "the talk" with my parents about the Craft, but I have no doubt that they know. They've asked me to do spellwork on their behalf a number of times and they always take my predictions seriously. It's nice that they believe in me so much, but sometimes they do get a little superstitious.

I've never officially come out of the "broom closet" to anyone in my life. It's just not something I desire to talk about. I'm a private person and I choose to keep my faith to myself. Some people do know, some are suspicious, some are completely clueless, and that's the way I want it.

[jcldragon]

They've asked me to do spellwork on their behalf a number of times and they always take my predictions seriously.I really, really like your parents. :)

I have a friend who is a Church of Christ minister. One day we both happened to be doing movie extra work together on a project for the History Channel. Being well-educated, and being friends from the same acting school, we were chatting about the cultivation of Spiritual qualities of character.

A Fundie came up, surprized to see us having a great conversation, saying, "I didn't know that you were a Christian!"

I told him that I was a Witch, and a bit annoyed, I began forming a ball of energy in my hands. Then Rev Dennis said to me, "Please don't hurt him, he doesn't understand."

And turning to the Fundie, he said, "James practices Witchcraft on the behalf of Jesus Christ. I have never seen anything in his Heart that is not of Christ."

Don't you wish they could all be like that?

[Cyzarine]

Hum...as everyone else said...good thread. Well, here is my story.

I guess my famaily and friends always knew I was pagan. I grew up in a Catholic family...but they weren't Catholic persay...maybe a more mystic Christian with Catholic aspects. My mom hung crystals, talks about where to place certain things to bring about certain things, etc. My father believes in a god but he feels that god does nothing for us...so he isn't exactly anything really. I can say that paganism was part of my life from the begining seeing that my Grandfather on my fathers side and my grandmother of my mothers side are pagans. Undercover they where...but it was still obvious. My grandfather walked a darker path and my grandmother was a witch...balanced witch.

Anywho, My parents kind of knew I was pagan. I mean come one, how many kids talk to 'the goddess' and aren't pagan. Well, it finally came out one day when my father asked if I was into satanism. I told him...in a kind of pissed way that I was a witch. He made me mad by insulting me calling me a satanist. My mother was more easy about it. She even goes with me to buy books and stuff. My father doesn't bring the subject up anymore because he would rather not hear my views...so I guess it's all good.

[Tigereye]

I just came out to one of my closest friends, or rather she dragged me out by force. I've been dreading telling her for years, and felt guilty for not doing it. I haven't told more than maybe three or four people, and only when confronted about it.
Anyway, the other day, she asked me if it was true that I was afraid she would find out that I'm into wicca? Because if it were, she wanted me to know it didn't matter to her, and she wasen't upset with me for hiding it!
She heard it from a mutual friend. I was shocked to say the least! I told her I just didn't know how to tell her. Or anyone else for that matter. (I also told her I wasn't a wiccan, but something similar)
Being very christian herself, she understands what prejudice is like, and people assuming things about you, and your faith. When she tells people, they are really surprised. She's just too cool to be a christian, it seems ... :smileroll

I'm happy things turned out this way, maybe I'll tell my parents .. soon... !

[wolf]

That is kind of the problem with being semi-out as a pagan. At some point, your worlds are going to collide.

[Tigereye]

Very true.

[Malcolm]

picture a fifteen year old Malcolm...

Mom: Is that a pentagam your wearing?
Me: No.

end of conversation....never brought up again...

[chrestomancie]

I have always had a different outlook on life and things in general. I grew up in a fanatical church with my mother and my father. It was a rule that I must go every wedneday night and every sunday morning and night. I was not allowed to say no. I attended this church from the age of 3 days to the age of 18. From the age of 10 years to graduating I attended the school that this church ran. I was quickly labelled a trouble maker because I questioned everything. I questioned the contradictions and the blind believing and the pastor of that church told my mother she was raising a monster. At this point in time I didn't know of other religions except for the mainstream ones that this church and school called cults. Anything other than protestant was called a cult.

For as long as I can remember I have had a love for Native Americans and their way of life. This love of the Native religion led me to wicca then to paganism and witchcraft. At certain times in my life I had magic experiences. At the age of 9 a group of kids and I asked questions of a ouija borad and at 10 a friend and I conjured Medusa to a bathroom mirror. I had an incident of warts at a young age that my parents and grandparents took me to a local witch (they didn't call her that but that is clearly what she was). My warts went away 2 weeks later. That was a wonderful experience for me.

My actual journey out of the broom closet has been extremely gradual. My mother found a book in my room and questioned me about it. She simply requested that I be careful and not fool with things I couldn't control. I was amazed by this reaction totally expecting her to have the usual temper tantrum over my actions or choices. She has really accepted me for who and what I am.

My father is another matter; he refuses to acknowledge that witchcraft and witches actually exist and continually tells me that I am not going to "heaven". I respect his thoughts but with his problems it's impossible for me to explain my position and have him actually understand them.

My cousin is a mage and has been a mage for a long time. If I come across a problem or an something I have a question about, I ask him. When I began on this journey he called me and asked me what exactly I was into.

My friends know but I don't tell people unless they ask.

[Dawa Lhamo]

Well, I was raised Wiccan, so my parents were never a problem. When I was, oh, 12, the Craft (the movie) came out, and my friends started getting interested in witchcraft. They started out cursing whomever they didn't like. (Driving nails in trees to bring headaches to people...) So I expressed interest in it, from the position of "having read books about it". And I kind of turned around the focus of the 'group' from just cursing people left and right. That was a sort of coming out.

About a year later, one person out of my little group decided to start telling everyone in the whole school what we were doing. And so I was kind of shoved out in front of everyone. And of course I got all kinds of people yelling "Satanist" at me and asking me if I <insert nefarious activity here>. That same person's mother called up my mother's boss (the principal at the high school) and accused my mother of leading a cult of "children who burned themselves with hot wires", and my brother of dealing drugs to her daughter. Needless to say, my brief foray out of the closet led to my running back into the closet and trying to mend as much of my family's reputation as possible.

The thing is, I got a lot of flack for it in the first place because I was a "teacher's pet" and goodie-two-shoes, and so it was a 'scandal'. My friends didn't get it nearly so bad. AND, since my mom works at the school, it wasn't as if I could just explain my beliefs to people in an open manner; I had to deny, deny, deny... And that probably exacerbated it. Eventually, I learned to joke about it and that's when people stopped being all *grrr* towards me. I'd just joke about how evil I was, and make fools out of those who seriously believed ill of me... and eventually, people in general would just laugh if someone called me a witch.

I wasn't really open (outside my family and the magical community) about my religion until college. College was awesome. I actually publically talked about my paganism first in a forum (a real-life forum) about religion and homosexuality. It was no big deal.

I'm more closeted now that I'm living at home again, simply for the sake of my family. I just don't mention it, though I do joke about it if it ever comes up. ^_^

Tashi delek!
Dawa Lhamo

[LyraDragonStar]

Believe me, my mom found out last week, one of the first words out of her mouth was 'devilworshiper' and 'satanist occult'. *rolls eyes*

[David19]

I haven't told my parents anything yet although they do know i'm interested in the occult and mythology so maybe, subconciously, they know. I don't think my mum would think i'm going to hell but she doesn't like many religions including christianity and thinks most religions are crap. Also i'm not sure if i want to come out and i still haven't said i'm gay.

Maybe when i've moved out then i'll say since they can't do anything then. Also it was bad enough when my mum found some stuff on satanism (cause i like a few of the theistic kinds) but i managed to lie my way out of it.

[CatOfRuins]

These are some great stories. Very inspiring.

I'm half in and half out right now. My immediate family and a few very close friends know. My family found out a little over two years ago after I had been a practicing pagan under their roof 2 years prior. I was attending a Wicca 101 class in our local area and I was tired of decieving my mom every wednesday night class was held. "Oh, I'm going to a friend's house/going out to dinner/etc..." So, I sat down one day and showed her the class syllabus and explained to her that it was where I was going on those random wednesday nights. At first she just looked shocked and then asked me about "animal sacrifices" By that point I was all sorts of annoyed and just looked at her like it was the stupidest question in the world. Mainly because she knows that I'm an animal lover and really squeamish.

Eventually she settled down once I explained things to her, and I even offered her some books and gave her the address to these forums. She even came to Pagan Pride Day 2004 with me.:abanana: Now she's totally cool with it and has even half-jokingly asked me to do some spell work for her. Heh.

She outed me to my father after they went and watched The Passion of the Christ together (on their anniversary of all days!! Some date movie! :twitch: ) His response was "She could be practicing Voodoo or Satanism for all I care, just as long as she's happy then it's fine with me." I didn't expect that out of him, but no problems there. :) Eventually my sisters found out and they were fine with it as well. (one of my sisters flirted with witchcraft back when The Craft came out. She and her friends would roam around school campus "casting spells" and "glamours". So, she said to me "looks like you're taking it more seriously than I did!")

Eventually I told a couple of friends, one of them was pagan so he loaned me some of his out of print books, and another one was genuinely interested so I dragged him along to classes and gave him books to read. The one person I want to completely out myself to is my Fiance'. He knows I identify as pagan and read tarot cards, but that's about it. I was afraid that he wouldn't take me seriously, but he's cool with what I have told him so far, so now I just need to be more specific sometime.. heh..:excuseme:

[Amryn]

I'm half in half out. My best friend knows. My husband knows and so does my son. I told my sister, who is Buddhist. I think my husband's brother knows, because he has seen my altar and my tarot cards. However I'm not in a hurry to proclaim my religious beliefs to the rest of the family though. Neither side of my family or my husband's is very open minded, with the exception of my sister and his brother. Most of them are Christian. However it's getting harder and harder to be myself and keep them all in the dark. (sigh)

Last year my sister told my mother and grandmother she was Buddhist. They rolled their eyes in unison and proceeded make snide remarks about her choice of religion every chance they got for about a month. My mother even told her she was going to hell. Their reaction was no surprise to either of us. Our family has never been very supportive of our choices. However, the dust has settled and nothing more has been said. I guess they figure if they ignore the Buddhist thing my sister will forget about it and suddenly not be Buddhist anymore. :hehehehe:

One day I will just stop being so discrete and let it all hang out, but not until my son is much older. I don't want him to be subjected to any negativity my religious choice may stir up among our family.

[jcldragon]

Last year my sister told my mother and grandmother she was Buddhist. They rolled their eyes in unison and proceeded make snide remarks about her choice of religion every chance they got for about a month. My mother even told her she was going to hell. Their reaction was no surprise to either of us. Our family has never been very supportive of our choices. However, the dust has settled and nothing more has been said. I guess they figure if they ignore the Buddhist thing my sister will forget about it and suddenly not be Buddhist anymore. :hehehehe: I'm sure you can compare notes on the techniques of Spiritual development with your sister. The attitudes taught by the various schools of Buddhist philosophy, just happen to be the most effective attitudes to hold when you are doing Spellwork... although Buddhists do not do Spellwork, because they feel it further involves one in the Illusions of this world.

[WiccanGoddess]

Well, I'm pulling this up.


I came out to my friend a yera ago, and I have found that this year, I'm much more open and honest with who I am, and have even told a couple of strangers, "Yes, I am gay". Though, I'm bisexual, I define myself as gay...don't ask. Anyways, it all has to do with honesty. My parents don't know. Mum may suspect, dad would kill me, but most of my friends and associates do know.

[kal]

here goes,i was raised church of scotland protestant ,church all the time
sunday school the works anyway about age 12 i found christianity throwing up
more question's than it had answers so i stopped going when i told my parents
i was now athiest and why i didn't want to go and they were cool with it
so i have never had to hide the fact that i wasn't a believer i have allways been a history nut after a hell of a lot of studying many civilizations and cultural paths
and scottish history i found that what i had belief and faith in was more
in tune too the old ways the subject never came up till i was about 15
when my dad tried to get me to join the masons and the orange lodge
because for years my whole family have been member's of lodge's ,the mason's the eastern star etc so i just told them i didn't want to so i spelled everthing out about my belief's and that i felt the path i was now on was the right one for me
and they were happy for me , i am a only child and my parents lost too many children before me so i get away with murder and can do no wrong in their eyes
so they are happy if i am happy . well thats my story :wave:

[Phoenix Element]

I only openly discuss this part of my life with two people. My friends know the path I've chosen, but they don't like hearing about it because they are (to varying degrees) Christian and they "hate to think abut how Phoenix is going to Hell." It makes them very sad and worried on my behalf, but they don't belittle or preach to me. However, it has made some otherwise great friendships falter. I know, I know - if they can't accept this part of me, they aren't true friends.

As for my family, my younger sister is one I can talk with about witchcraft/paganism. The rest of my family...no thanks. Not only are they all conservative Christians, but I am still treated like a child at the age of 22. The worst thing that could happen would be them talking about me behind my back. My family is amazing at backstabbing and talking behind their hands. It upsets me more than direct confrontation ever could because it's harder to combat. *sighs* I honestly don't know if I'll ever tell them. They'd be much happier not knowing...

[Windsmith]

I've been "outed" at work I don't know how many times in the last couple weeks. Only a few of my co-workers knew before, but now almost my entire department's in on it. I blame Jonathon Sharkey. He declared himself a gubenatorial candidate, running under the...what's he calling it? The "Vampyres, Witches, and Pagans Party"? So every time he makes a statement, gets badly covered by the local media, or gets arrested, someone in the office will start a conversation about him, which inevitably leads to someone making some awful comment about witches. And then one of my coworkers, feeling a need to defend me, will say something along the lines of how I've already said he doesn't speak for me and that that's not what most Pagans are like, etc. I appreciate them sticking up for me, but it always leads to this awkward moment where the person they were talking to says, "She's a witch?!?" And then we all stand around not looking at each other for a few minutes.

[Skeletal Season]

I tried to tell my parents a few years ago, and my Mom just said "that's not a religion". When I tried to argue about how most modern Christianity is less of a religion than Paganism, they started telling me that I was being decieved by everything I had read, including the history books that detailed the horrible stuff done in the inquisitions and crusades. My Dad even said he didn't believe that stuff ever even happened. I was dumbfounded and just dropped the whole thing, and I haven't brought it up since then. I have considered trying my best to tell them again about how important it is to me, but they are far too close minded. This really upsets me, because they have always had the attitude that nothing I believe is real or worth anything. But the sad thing is, they never even go to church. Ever. And the only time they bring up "religion" is when they don't agree with some sort of sexual practice, i.e. sex before marriage, homosexuality, and so on. I guess it wouldn't bother me quite so much if they actually practiced their religion and didn't just use it as an excuse to condemn people whose lifestyle they don't like.

[Akhkharu Asgard]

My religion is *my* business. Certainly not my parents. I never understood this strange desire to let the whole world know about your religion (and its always the ones that aren't "mainstream" that seem to have this desire). I'm serious, what's the big deal? To me, my faith is a private thing, that I share with only myself and perhaps a significant other. But that's it. My parents do not need to know, my bosses don't need to know, the cashier at my favourite local supermarket doesn't need to know either.

[RoseKitten]

I just up and told my parents. It's not like they're religious though, so it didn't really matter. Although, they think (thought?) it's a phase. *shrugs* However, just last night I had a theological discussion with a coworker LoL.

[MorningDove030202]

I have an article on my website about how to come of the broom closet..........

http://www.freewebs.com/morningdovesbos/essays.htm

[Skeletal Season]

My religion is *my* business. Certainly not my parents. I never understood this strange desire to let the whole world know about your religion (and its always the ones that aren't "mainstream" that seem to have this desire). I'm serious, what's the big deal? To me, my faith is a private thing, that I share with only myself and perhaps a significant other. But that's it. My parents do not need to know, my bosses don't need to know, the cashier at my favourite local supermarket doesn't need to know either.

Yeah, lately I have been feeling this way as well. Real spirituality is a very personal thing and shouldn't be shared with just anybody. And I knew that my parents wouldn't accept it when I told them, so it was stupid on my part to do so. But I do like talking about it with some of my close friends.

[Windsmith]

(and its always the ones that aren't "mainstream" that seem to have this desire). I'm serious, what's the big deal?Oh, I have to disagree there. In my experience, the ones who have the strongest desire to declare their religion to me are those who are trying to convert me to it. By and large, this has been born-again fundamentalist Christians, though I was recently "priveledged" to meet what appeared to be an evangelical Jew.

For what it's worth, to me, the "big deal" is presumptive Abrahamism (I know that sounds like a very weird phrase. That's because I made it up just now). Prior to the Sharkey ordeal, the only times I've outed myself to colleagues or cashiers have been times when conversations have made it clear that the person I was talking to assumed I was Christian (sometimes Jewish, given my last name and the way I look, but usually Christian). Sure, my religion is my business, but I'm also not ashamed of it, and if someone says something to or about me based on their presumption of my beliefs, I will not hesitate an instant in setting the record straight. The more we can show people that Pagans are here; that we're real people who they know, instead of cat-killing, baby-burning freaks they read about in the paper, or nose-twitching super spell-casters like they see on TV - both comfortably elsewhere - the better I think we're going to do at getting people to treat us with the respect we deserve.

[Akhkharu Asgard]

Oh, I have to disagree there. In my experience, the ones who have the strongest desire to declare their religion to me are those who are trying to convert me to it. By and large, this has been born-again fundamentalist Christians, though I was recently "priveledged" to meet what appeared to be an evangelical Jew.

For what it's worth, to me, the "big deal" is presumptive Abrahamism (I know that sounds like a very weird phrase. That's because I made it up just now). Prior to the Sharkey ordeal, the only times I've outed myself to colleagues or cashiers have been times when conversations have made it clear that the person I was talking to assumed I was Christian (sometimes Jewish, given my last name and the way I look, but usually Christian). Sure, my religion is my business, but I'm also not ashamed of it, and if someone says something to or about me based on their presumption of my beliefs, I will not hesitate an instant in setting the record straight. The more we can show people that Pagans are here; that we're real people who they know, instead of cat-killing, baby-burning freaks they read about in the paper, or nose-twitching super spell-casters like they see on TV - both comfortably elsewhere - the better I think we're going to do at getting people to treat us with the respect we deserve.

I'm sorry, you're right! I wasn't even thinking about that! Even when I was a Christian I was always coming across others who wanted to help my troubled spirit. So I guess both sides are guilty.

Also, I understand that if someone assumes something about you and you wish to correct them, or if they get something wrong. Then you want to say something. That's fine. It's the people who seem to *need* to tell others, others who never asked and/or have no interest of care about that person's belief. *That* doesn't make sense to me.

[Windsmith]

I'm sorry, you're right! I wasn't even thinking about that! Even when I was a Christian I was always coming across others who wanted to help my troubled spirit. So I guess both sides are guilty.Well, at least Jesus loves you. Some of the deities I've learned about since becoming a Pagan would just as soon eat your troubles spirit as help it!

It's the people who seem to *need* to tell others, others who never asked and/or have no interest of care about that person's belief. *That* doesn't make sense to me.Oh, them. No, I don't get them, either. They put me in mind of my old roommate, who used to introduce herself to people by saying, "Hi, I'm Laura, and I'm a lesbian." Um. OK. I have no idea what she thought she was accomplishing there.

What do you think about the people who take the silent approach - sort of thrusting it on you passive-aggressively via their (as Stella put it in another thread) "5 pounds of Witch bling"? I mean, I have my little pentacle necklace that I wear, and I have a friend with a gorgeous triple-moon ring, but there seems to be something...off about hubcap-sized pentacle earrings and a Venus of Villendorf pendant as big as your arm. Oh, well. I guess it just goes to prove that being Pagan doesn't automatically mean you have good tastes. Drat!

[Akhkharu Asgard]

What do you think about the people who take the silent approach - sort of thrusting it on you passive-aggressively via their (as Stella put it in another thread) "5 pounds of Witch bling"? I mean, I have my little pentacle necklace that I wear, and I have a friend with a gorgeous triple-moon ring, but there seems to be something...off about hubcap-sized pentacle earrings and a Venus of Villendorf pendant as big as your arm. Oh, well. I guess it just goes to prove that being Pagan doesn't automatically mean you have good tastes. Drat!

I put them into the same category as well. It's as if they are just waiting for someone to point it out or ask them about it. I have a little ankh necklace that I wear. If someone asks me about it, I'll let them know its an egyptian symbol. If they push me further, I'll let them know it's literal and/or mytholological meanings. But I am not one who takes that as an invitation to share my who "religious life" story.

[Rudas Starblaze]

well, im not pagan so i dont have to worry about that part. but coming out about being a witch was rather pointless. seems everyone already knew. i cant imagine why? lol

[Renny]

I am semi out. My parents have known that I'm not a christian since 10 or so. I don't think I ever truly believed it in my heart, I always questioned them even when I was 6 or 7 and I never really got answers. It just wasn't me. My mom knows which gods I believe in and a few of my other beliefs. My boyfriend knows more than my mom. He knows I practice types of witchcraft, he knows I work with runes and meditate, and all that. No one really knows I use magic. Those are really the only people who know. I dont' feel a need to tell everyone. I don't wear tons of witch bling (I like that!), just my hammer sometimes but it's pretty big so I dont wear it as much, it gets in the way. Most people don't even know what it means, and those who do usually don't see the spiritual significance in it.

I am deathly afraid of meeting a fundie, by the way

[KeelinConvallaria]

Oh, them. No, I don't get them, either. They put me in mind of my old roommate, who used to introduce herself to people by saying, "Hi, I'm Laura, and I'm a lesbian." Um. OK. I have no idea what she thought she was accomplishing there.
One of the reasons I feel the need to be out with people: I let a few close friends know because religion comes up in a lot of our conversations. And for some reason, they have this tendency to out me to everyone. They introduce me, "And this is Keelin. She's pagan." (Or alternatively, "And this is Keelin. She's asexual.") Which is a great way to get rumours spread about me. So I figure if I out myself and spread the truth while I'm doing it, I'll be able to stop some of the assumptions people make about me.

I am deathly afraid of meeting a fundie, by the way
Sometimes they're actually not too bad. One of my best friends is a fundie. It depends on the person.