handling non-pagans?

[starlalala9]

Hey... this is kinda broad I guess, but how do you deal with assumptions and stuff people have?

I live in the bible belt- everyone assumes you are christian. It is kind of humorous to me (for example Women In Chemestry Alliance is WICA and a girl freaked out people thought she did "black magic") but I don't know what to say when people go on God rants and stuff.

Also, I don't know what to do sometimes during certain events -like in a Guitar class having to practice praise songs. It makes me feel uncomfortable- I am not sure why it does- I just haven't learned my balance I guess. I just feel it being Christian-pushy.

I try to just smile and nod, but... *shrug*

any thoughts/suggestion/insight?

[LadyCelt]

If you aren't in a private school and that is occuring, it is definately interfering with seperation of church and state for sure.

[starlalala9]

Well, i forgot to mention it is a college......

[LadyCelt]

but, is it a christian college or regular? If it is regular, then I would say its still going against the law.

[OpenHands]

Starlalala,

"how do you deal with assumptions and stuff people have?"

The biggest thing I do is try to set a good example and let people get to know me as a person in general first before I bring up the religion card (if I do at all). I keep in mind that for a number of people, I'm the first pagan they'll have met. Past reactions have ranged from genuine surprise and curiosity to indifference.

Most of the surprised reactions come from people who know that I'm about as mundane and average as a person can get- I don't fit the usual stereotypes. For this reason, they get to see me as somebody like them who just happens to have different religious beliefs and practices. That's very non-threatening and we go on from there with good discussions.

When people toss assumptions my way, I do my best to answer as calmly and truthfully as possible. When I don't know something, I tell them. I don't try to speak for all pagans and I avoid broad statements. I'm honest about the good and the bad- no sugar coating stuff like, "Pagans would NEVER consider animal sacrifice appropriate." I explain the reasoning behind things they find squicky, but I don't feed them the PR cotton candy version.

"I don't know what to say when people go on God rants and stuff."

Depending on the person, sometimes there's not much you can say because they've made up their minds already. I've found it helpful to try and draw interfaith discussions out of rants by asking them questions about their beliefs and views. Sometimes the curiosity is contagious and they start asking me questions too. And there's nothing wrong with excusing yourself from the convo if things get too heated and you don't feel like it's going anywhere. It happens.

Learning praise songs in a college class, eh. It wouldn't bother me much (heck, I grew up singing most of them so I'd probably be tickled that I know the song). If it makes you uncomfortable, how about asking if songs from other religions could be used too since not everyone in the class is Christian? Maybe offer to help look into different religious songs for the class to practice?

[Astara Seague]

same way I handled non Mormans when I was Morman and living in California, just answer their questians calmly and set a good example because once they find out, they are watching very closly:hahugh: !!

[jcldragon]

Sometimes I've pointed out that, making people live under a threat of punishment, is something that only a Devil would do...

"Perfect Love casts out all fear"

[starlalala9]

It's more just the assume you are christian.... they make comments and stufff and I don't want to be like "Well... I don't agree" but it's constant. My natural tendency is to say something, but I don't know if I should/want to.

[WhiteLion]

I know how you feel. I live in a little town in alabama where everyone knows everyone and is southern baptist except me and 2 others. I walk into the store and people give me wierd looks and mumble behind my back because they know who I am. I''ve even had a nut try killing me because I am pegan.

[AlAskendir]

Hey... this is kinda broad I guess, but how do you deal with assumptions and stuff people have?

I live in the bible belt- everyone assumes you are christian. It is kind of humorous to me (for example Women In Chemestry Alliance is WICA and a girl freaked out people thought she did "black magic") but I don't know what to say when people go on God rants and stuff.

Also, I don't know what to do sometimes during certain events -like in a Guitar class having to practice praise songs. It makes me feel uncomfortable- I am not sure why it does- I just haven't learned my balance I guess. I just feel it being Christian-pushy.

I try to just smile and nod, but... *shrug*

any thoughts/suggestion/insight?

Are you ready to confront? I mean, it's fun, but it doesn't make your life any easier. I'd go learn a bunch of pagan Filks, like the 200+ verse Pagan version of Gimme that Old Tyme Religion, or Walkin' 'round in Women's Underwear, and practise them - - - and I'd remember that JHVH, Aton, and Yeshua are all gods, and as such are all part of the God,, so the people around you are obsessed with the God, with Yang parts of life, and actually with a very circumscribed part of the God, but that does not make their feelings or beliefs invalid,, and it can be more profitable to respond to 'God rants' with knowledgable loving understanding concerning their limited perspective, positivity deflects and empowers.

[Dragonladyofwater]

I live in the midwest in a town that has 38 churches and one bar, needless to say the general population thinks I must be Christian.

Here is how I handle it. First off I don't care what people think of how I look, what I wear, how rich or poor I may be so why should I worry if they think about what my faith is? So I don't handle it at all. When the circumstance arises that I am asked about something or someone makes an outward assumption or asks what church I go to I tell them straight out what I believe. I figure if they are brave enough to ask they deserve to hear the truth.

I refuse to lie or hide anything about who I am it only weakens my faith and makes me less of a role model for my children. I am not talking about confrontational here either I am talking about just being me on a minute by minute day by basis as truly as I can be.

In my mind there is no other way to live. I don't know if this helps you in your situation at all but I felt I should write.

[starlalala9]

I hear you all!


My hardest part is going to like, say Radio Shack. The person working makes some offhand comment about God, the hurricanes, wrath, etc specifically to me (cuz I was watching it too). I just smile and change the topic. I mean I guess that is the best thing, right?

[StarCraftLia]

.

[Arion]

I go to a Catholic high school, and in vocal music i had to sing a lot of Jesus songs, so I can sympthize. I don't bother telling many of the other people there, but the people I have told have been pretty supportive. I've ben lucky enough this year to have met some really great people ^_^

[OpenHands]

StarCraftLia,

"Most Christians are pushy, even when you're "one of the flock" so to speak."

I would disagree. Are you talking about particular groups like fundamentalists? A good number of them can be rather obnoxious, but the majority of Christians in general aren't, last I checked. Or maybe you live in an area with an extremely high number of fundamentalists and low number of Christians from mainline churches?

There can sometimes seem like there are more rude Christians because they are so darn loud- you tend to forget about all of the people you meet who never bring up religion because they don't do the aggressive proselytizing thing.

"Push back. Be offense. Who cares if they're pride or feelings get "hurt" because of your beliefs? Who cares if they freak out?"

A person who is trying to develop positive interfaith relations or who's definition of acting with dignity doesn't include carelessly hurting people might care. And what we do can make a big impression on others. I don't know about anybody else, but I'd rather be remembered as a pagan who acts honorably and doesn't resort to unnecessarily rude tactics in the face of opposition. I try to be better than that.

And others will remember how I act too. It starts to break down some of the negative stereotypes people have about pagans, IMO. Honey instead of vinegar and all that. It doesn't mean one has to be a doormat, but it also doesn't mean getting down in the mud with the other guy just because he's being an asshole.

::Edited to Add::
By the way, I like your website! The layout is very practical and tasteful (cool tree design)- such a nice change from so many pagans who seem to enjoy trying to make my eyeballs fall out with red text on black background. ;)

[Skye]

I guess I am confused as to why people get so upset over the way others choose to believe. If someone tells me that all the devestation in LA is due to gods rath, well thats fine, because that is what they choose to believe, I don't have to agree or for that matter make any comments.

Everyone I assosiate with knows I am not a christian, or any other religion for that matter, so when the conversation turns to religion, I listen with respect. If I am prompted to comment, I will do so in a way as to not be pushy and derogitory of anothers views, I don;t think that is my place in this world.

As for guitar class, If your major is not music, and it is not a required class, may I suggest you look off campus for a more comfortable lesson, or just play along, music is music, it is just someones feelings and impressions put to a tune, and when you finish the class you don't have to play them if you don't like them.

[Darkdale]

If something effects me personally, or our relationship, I'll say something... or if we are having an inter-faith conversation. But most of the time, I'm content that people will have various beliefs that I don't like.

[Ninjakitten]

Hey... this is kinda broad I guess, but how do you deal with assumptions and stuff people have?

I live in the bible belt- everyone assumes you are christian. It is kind of humorous to me (for example Women In Chemestry Alliance is WICA and a girl freaked out people thought she did "black magic") but I don't know what to say when people go on God rants and stuff.

Also, I don't know what to do sometimes during certain events -like in a Guitar class having to practice praise songs. It makes me feel uncomfortable- I am not sure why it does- I just haven't learned my balance I guess. I just feel it being Christian-pushy.

I try to just smile and nod, but... *shrug*

any thoughts/suggestion/insight?


Well, there are songs called "Filk" songs. Some are basically rip-offs of Christian classic songs, like "Rugged Old Cross" (I think that's the name), but with paganized words to it. You could look up lyrics that are paganized that people wrote to the songs, assuming you don't also sing in Guitar class.

[StarPhoenix]

I tend to just listen and try not to laugh or show that I'm bored(which is very hard for me, as I tend to show how I feel on my sleeve) especially when people start going on 'god rants' as you called it.

If they ask my opinion on the subject, I give them an honest answer. If it's a somewhat broad topic, with a little bit of religion thrown in, I'll state my opinion without any religious aspects. If it's totally religious based topic, I gently state that I hadn't given it much thought or that I agree/disagree in principle . Depending on who I'm talking to. Hope that wasn't too confusing :vanish:

[Danu Brigid Sulla]

Goodness me!
I just had a lady from some bible church knock on my door!
I just politely explained that I wasn't interested and that I'm pagan.
She asked if I knew about "salvation". I said, yes, I was a christian for 20 years! She said I "made her sad" and that she would "pray for me"! LOL
I thought it was funny. This is the second time she's knocked on my door. Maybe she forgot the first time. The first time, I talked about the Goddess and the God and said that Nature was my church. Kind of corny, but I said it anyway.
I haven't had any real indepth discussions about my pagan beliefs, but I do always try to be true and honest with who I am.
Anyway, that's just my own personal experience so far.

You have to decide in your own heart how you want to handle the constant "christian assumptions". Maybe you could start out by pointing out that you are not christian and don't like such assumptions. You don't have to go on about what you believe. If they ask, just say it is personal and you don't want to talk about it. You have the right to keep your beliefs to yourself. Also, suggesting some alternative songs to your teacher might not be a bad idea. You don't need to stick with religious songs, unless that is what you're studying. Why not choose from any number of favorite songs you may have? Popular songs? Ones that don't have to do with any religion.
As far as knowing what to say to people when they go on "God rants"...how about interjecting something about the Goddess? Like when someone says something about the horrible weather and about "God's Wrath", just say, "yeah, the Goddess is really upset!" It's all up to you and how much you want people to know about you. Courage and Faith are wonderful attributes, but sometimes so hard to live.
I hope this was helpful. I'll keep you updated about the 'church lady"!
:achug: :lol:
Many Blessings,
Danu

[jcldragon]

As a Massage Therapist, I haven't really had any problems handling non-Pagans.... (sorry. I couldn't resist the pun ;) ):wave:

[gurlygurl2004]

Hey... this is kinda broad I guess, but how do you deal with assumptions and stuff people have?

I live in the bible belt- everyone assumes you are christian. It is kind of humorous to me (for example Women In Chemestry Alliance is WICA and a girl freaked out people thought she did "black magic") but I don't know what to say when people go on God rants and stuff.

Also, I don't know what to do sometimes during certain events -like in a Guitar class having to practice praise songs. It makes me feel uncomfortable- I am not sure why it does- I just haven't learned my balance I guess. I just feel it being Christian-pushy.

I try to just smile and nod, but... *shrug*

any thoughts/suggestion/insight?


Are you a beginner pagan? Anyway, when I was in high school it bothered me that most of the music my chorus teacher had us sing were Christian, and she always said that we could come to her if it offended us. However I know when it comes to really religious, bible belt people the disclaimer is more so false. So my suggestion is to suggest other songs to play in your music class. Maybe talk to the instructor(not neccessarly that it bothers you) but suggest nonsecular music you like.

[starlalala9]

Yes, I am new.

[gurlygurl2004]

Yes, I am new.


This is a natural reaction from new pagans. Particular ones that are trying or have escaped from evangelical or fundamentalist Christianity. And we automatically go against everything Christian. I wouldn't even look at private colleges, there's many in my area. And I tried black magick and everything but recently I've changed to accept both religions and to even accept that our country will never have a true seperation of church and state.

[Meadhbh]

I find it funny, actually. We have a lot of fundmentalist types here and I know most of them some how. I tend to keep my beliefs to myself unless I'm asked what I believe. I don't go up to some one "hi, I'm a pagan." People just assume I'm christain and for the most part I let them. It really lets me figure out how those people think and most of time it scares me. Although it was funny when somebody wanted me to go with them and pray the pagans off the face of the planet. I had to say I was busy that night.

[jcldragon]

Although it was funny when somebody wanted me to go with them and pray the pagans off the face of the planet. I had to say I was busy that night.Praying against people is soooooooooooo anti-Christ.

Of course, I could wonder whether when these people attempt to 'pray the Pagans off the planet', that perhaps some Pagans learn how to do Astral Projection... ;)

[Catiana]

The people at my work assume I'm christian. If there is a converstion going on about it, I just tune it out. Awhile back, right before I got my knee MRI'd, one girl told me that she was praying for my knee, I thanked her, just like I thanked people for sending me healing energy. Its no be deal to me, if they come out and ask me what I believe, I tell them, otherwise it doesn't bother me a bit what people think or talk about around me.

[Elaethril]

I feel that if I want other people to respect me and my religious beliefs no matter how much they may personally disagree with them, then I have to do the same. That includes allowing people to go on 'god rants' if they want. I would be offended if I were on a 'pagan rant' and someone told me to shut up and not talk about it (although I was also raised to not bring up religion unless that's the purpose of the conversation - it's generally just a bad idea). Granted, pagans are vastly outnumbered right now, but that's just a fact that we have to deal with. Tolerance has to go both ways - even if the other half isn't being very tolerant. And I don't see that we have the right to behave badly even if others aren't. Take the high road and all that...


And as for music - I think that getting upset over the words used in the song is missing a bigger picture. I studied music for 12 years and that includes a lot of very-Christian-related music (masses, requiems, sacred gospel songs). I just performed them by paying honor to the *music.* And, quite frankly, if I were to exclude all music that has Christian overtones from my life, I'd be denying myself a great deal of amazingly beautiful music.

As for guitar songs, why not learn the songs, then adapt them privately to something of your own choosing. That's Folk Music 101 - taking an old melody and giving it new words. :) You could also research some other songs that would be appropriate for your class and offer them as suggestions - the folk pantheon has hundreds of songs about nature, mankind, etc.

[ap Dafydd]

Personally I try not to handle Christians, I don't know where they've been... <G>

My only pearl of wisdom on this one is just to _not_ get involved in religious discussions with them. They might be perfectly ok people if you're talking about sport or the weather, but if they start ranting on about Jesus, the only thing to do is just keep quiet and look at them as though they're being slightly odd.

Which they are.

gwyn eich byd

Ffred

[Hærfest Leah]

Well I'm already tired of some of the guys I work with and we're getting another bible thumper today. I think I'm just going to start ignoring the conversations and walk out of the room like some of the others do.

[Dave the Druid]

I'm not really certain that there is a clear winner in this. I have been buggered about by the fundamentalists for most of my life at this point. In my last post the next cube over was occupied by a fundamentalist who would try to convert me about once a week. It was funny after a while. I have lived in some of the more fundamentalist parts of the viz states Texas and Oklahoma. The best thing I've found to do is to keep quiet unless pressed. Now, and this is for the more militant of you out there, get a copy of the bible and read it. The whole thing. I can hear the gasps of horror from here. Now listen, how do you fight fire? With fire! the fundamentalists I know have quoted the king james version to me at length. The only thing I have found to set them on their back foot is to use their same source against them. If they pray for me I say thnak you, for no prayer is wasted regardless of the source.

[jcldragon]

Now, and this is for the more militant of you out there, get a copy of the bible and read it. The whole thing. I can hear the gasps of horror from here. Now listen, how do you fight fire? With fire! the fundamentalists I know have quoted the king james version to me at length. The only thing I have found to set them on their back foot is to use their same source against them. If they pray for me I say thnak you, for no prayer is wasted regardless of the source.I've read the Bible in four different translations. The context is very important, because I highly doubt you can understand what Jesus was saying, outside of the context of all of the Scriptures of the world that were available in his day.

I see references to reincarnation in many places in the Bible, and a friend of mine, who is an Orthodox Rabbi, says that reincarnation has always been a part of his religion.

[equinox2]

Dave the Druid wrote:

The best thing I've found to do is to keep quiet unless pressed.


I’ve always found that approach to be a little bit dishonest and somewhat pathetic to boot. Imagine if it were that I was Jewish in a Christian area, and someone talked about Jesus and I just pretended I was Christian - hiding who I was as if I were ashamed of it. Or if I were polish and someone told me a polish joke and I pretended to find it funny just to get along. I can just imagine doing that, and then turning to see the ghost of my polish grandmother there - could I tell her I trashed her and our polish ancestry because I "didn’t want to make waves?". Sad. I think acting like we are ashamed of our religion is one of the main reasons why it is still socially OK for people to say bad things about pagans. Can you imagine suggesting to a Hindu that he should hide who he is and pretend to be Christian so as to get along?

Now, and this is for the more militant of you out there, get a copy of the bible and read it.


Good advice, for anyone with a spine who isn’t putting themselves in too much danger by doing so. For a short overview, there are a lot of good pages out there that give a short overview of some of the problems. Here is one: http://www-personal.engin.umich.edu/~leta/TREATISE/TJXSUM/tj5xbbibprob.htm

Also, I just finished reading this short (150) page book about the Bible - it is highly recommended for anyone who lives in America. I’d still suggest reading the Bible so as to test everything said in this book (don’t just believe anything without checking up on it), yet, this can save a lot of time for you instead of starting with the whole 2,000 page Bible. http://www.reasonworks.com/BS_Book.html

Surprisingly, it only takes a little study and reading to know the Bible better than 90% of other Americans.

Take care-

[starlalala9]

I am not anti-christian in the least... I'm anti-organized religion that gets pushy by its members.

I was Christian. I feel like i still "am" I have just moved past it. Jesus was genius, he has the right idea of how to live, but so have other religious figures.

I am not sure what stance I want to have... the "I'm pretending to be Christian still" the "I'm not Christian so leave me alone" etc.... Thats what I meant by this thread... do people make it obvious, pretend, or what (which has been answered by many.)

Thanks everyone.

[LostSheep]

I suppose it helps living in a fairly secular part of the world, but the problem where i live seems to be more or less the opposite to the fundamentalist bible-bashers; very few people i come across seem to take religion very seriously at all, and I'm pretty sure that if i told my schoolmates that I was Pagan, they wouldn't go all 'thou art an evil devilworshipper', they probably wouldn't take it seriously at all and just snigger and maybe mention harry Potter...

[starlalala9]

LostSheep...

i never thought about that situation. Thats so strange seeming to me :) It is interesting though...

Is it hard for you living in an area like that?

[LostSheep]

In one way maybe it is, frustrating about not being taken seriously, but then maybe it kind of gives me more freedom than if we were all expected to be Christian... it's kind of funny that, as i think I've mentioned somewhere else, the people I've got on best with at school have either been Christians or atheists, people who've actually thought about it and decided they didn't believe in God ... the Christian one anyway. Maybe they were secret pagans too! Maybe I get along with the Christians because I know a bit about the Bible and though their beliefs may be different from mine, any kind of religious outlook is a little different from most of the people ... who knows?

[Philosophia]

I handle non-pagans the same way I handle pagans. I've met militant Christians, atheists, and pagans, and I've learnt to either ignore them or give them space. Sometimes I'll debate and engage in an intelligent discussion but more often I will simply change the subject.

[equinox2]

Lostsheep wrote:
...or atheists, people who've actually thought about it and decided they didn't believe in God ... the Christian one anyway. Maybe they were secret pagans too!

I've realized for a long time that atheists/humanists and pagans have a lot in common. A friend of mine wrote and posted an essay about it. Part of his conclusion points out that the vision of the world held by atheists and pagans is much more similar to each other than that held by Christians:

Most important of all is to contemplate the vision of the world: whether it is a theocracy with mindless zombies praising God all day long, walking in their city of gold and silver, oblivious to the unmerciful torment of so many people in God’s torture chambers; or people living for the day, progressing every day, grateful for the trees, stars, rivers and rocks, enjoying the body and sexual love, watching their steps to ensure that Mother Earth should not die. The decision, I think, is a no-brainer.

from: http://eclecticsatyr.hostultra.com/athnwic.htm

May the stars light your path-

[BlessedByTheGoddess]

I have the same problems living in Alabama. I still have issues dealing with it but just hope that it passes or you can just answer the questions the best that you can. When someone normally ask me how come I'm not Christian, I just tell them that it's not for me.

[Ishtara]

I am in the same boat as Lone Wolf upthread: I was born and raised in a country where people in general are only nominally Catholic, where the separation of Church and State is absolute and where anticlericalism is fairly common. Religion is either seen as a thing of the past or as one of several socio-cultural traits pertaining to the upper-middle classes (grande bourgeoisie). Very few people my age have any interest in religion at all and would think I am weird for being religious, period. It would not make any difference if I were Christian or Pagan, actually Paganism may elicit a little more interest because it is more unusual.

Now that I live in Canada, things are different but not terribly so. Here in Vancouver, it is very much "live and let live", so I never encountered any hostility. Granted, I do meet the occasional fundamentalist trying to enroll me into their prayer group or something. it happened last weekend, actually.
Depending on what kind of vibe I get from the person, I either reply firmly that I am not interested in joining a new church / worship group or I state that I am not Christian. If asked what I am, I just reply that I have my own religion, in a tone that means "You'd better leave it at that" :D
But like I said, I never got into a nasty argument about it, so I suppose I am pretty lucky.

[HallsOfAvalon]

Also, I don't know what to do sometimes during certain events -like in a Guitar class having to practice praise songs. It makes me feel uncomfortable- I am not sure why it does- I just haven't learned my balance I guess. I just feel it being Christian-pushy.



I'm a guitarist too. I love music so much, that even the songs that I don't really like... I don't mind learning to play.

I say if it's teaching you something that you don't already know... it still helps you to play guitar, so try and looking at it from that approach.

Music expresses such emotions that it's hard to be about just the lyrics. Put your feelings into it.

[David19]

I haven't had bad experiences with christians although no one knows i'm a pagan yet but i still don't think that anyone would care since most of my friends aren't religious and the ones that are don't try and enforce their beliefs on people, i'm more worried about coming out that i'm gay than anything else since i don't see religion as being something that people should care about.

[BeigeAllen]

This is a common discussion topic among pagan boards. Its not a problem I have had to deal with much personally, but it is one I have still counseled numerous people with. So pardon me getting a little long winded.:graduate:

Persecution isn't about logic, it isn't about rationale, its about emotion. So logical arguements often will not work without understanding the underlying emotion. Too often pagans just dismiss the misunderstanding or make it worse by arguing with logic and facts or by refusing to deal with the problem at all.

Understanding Yourself First you have to understand yourself. As most pagans come to a Pagan path from another branch of religion, the first issue is how comfortable are you with your choice? Have you been this way long, or is this a new thing? The Hebrew word for "convert", ger, is the same as that for a stranger. It is also related to the root gar - "to dwell'. Both concepts describe the emotional turmoil of anyone who converts from one religions to another - most often they feel like strangers living in a very strange land. Understanding this, you now know that to put yourself more at ease you need to get more familiar with your new spiritual surroundings. This does not just involve studying every source you can find about the Pagan studies that call to you strongest, but you should also log onto message boards like this one. This allows you to get to know some of your fellow Pagans and to find the areas you have of commonality such as cooking, movies, video games, and music. These familiar areas will help you to break the ice among not only among your fellow pagans but among non-Pagans as well.

Understanding Others Just as you are more than your choice of beliefs, so too are the people around you. When you changed your religion did you give up everything about yourself? Of course not, and the people around you did not suddenly become the enemy just because you chose a different spiritual drumbeat to dance to. The catch is, with the people you care about that you care about, you really do need to work to show them that your choice is not something you lept into to escape, but something that you embraced to strengthen you. Which is where the problem often lies.

First, try and find out what the real problem is. "Its obvious, I'm a Pagan and they hate pagans because they think we all worship devils," you may be thinking. Actually, that's only the symptom; the real problem has nothing to do with your religion, and sometimes not even with you; in fact, the real problem can be different for each person you encounter.

Examples:

A 15 year old girl who was suspended last month for smoking at school, carries a steady D average in school, and seems to be making a career of petty grievance crimes is having to explain to her mother about the matches, candles, and knife that Mom found under her bed looking for dirty laundry to wash. Is Mom worries her child is practicing witchcraft? No, she is worried that her child is doing some hardcore drugs, or cutting or branding herself. The only thing Mom knows for sure is that three items that can be harmful were found hidden under her daughter's bed and they don't add up to anything good. So the first point the daughter in this case needs to make is "I know what this looks like, but I am not doing anything illegal and I am not doing anything that would hurt anyone. I use the knife to carve wands from tree branches, and I use the matches to light the candle so I can stare at it while I meditate so I keep some track of time." The next tactic might be "I am glad that you ran across those, it gives us a chance to talk about some things I have been thinking about."
A good mother, a survivor of domestic abuse by various men in her life is sitting in an office answering questions about her Wiccan practices for a Child Services worker who is responding to anonymous accusations of ritual abuse against her child. The worker is not there because someone called and simply said "June is practicing witchcraft," they are there because someone reported that this woman is engaging the psychological, sexual, and/or physical assault forced on her child, and committed according to a prescribed ritual of unknown origin." This woman needs to merely have a clean home, food in the house, a means to provide for her child, and to explain that the only "witchcraft" she practices is Goddess worship which she embraced as part of her recovery from past abuses in her life, said practices include lighting candles and incense, meditation, light chanting, and that the only practice she engages her child in is the mother daughter tai-chi class they signed up for. Additionally, she might mention that the reason the complaint may have come in is because her daughter used a little of that same tai-chi to toss Dad on his butt over the weekend and he got his male pride hurt. From experience I can tell you as long as you seem at ease with your religion and can answer the worker's questions articulately, they don't care if you are Pagan, Christian, or Venusian as long as the children are safe and happy. Got a couple of familiars? No worries there, as several workers have told me, happy animals mean happy families.
A 22 year old man starts going to Pagan events because he hears how easy it is to pick up a "witchy chick". He meets a nice young woman there, they date several times and his family has met her once but do not know she is a Pagan. Being church goers, the invite him to bring her along to church one weekend so they can get to know her better. Now remember, they do not know she is pagan when then invite her to church. In this case it depends on her feeling, but it would be polite to attend a church service with them. Ask what their church's services are like? If it sounds survivable, then go, the Deities understand. I would not mention anything about being Pagan while at the church unless directly asked, and it almost never gets directly asked in a church. However, if going to church is not something she is willing to do, the polite response to his parents would be "I prefer to worship the Creator in the Creation."


As you see, its just a matter of looking at the situation in most cases. I am an openly practicing pagan activist. My family, friends, and co-workers all know I am a witch. My family raised me in it, my husband knew it when we married and for him religion is a null equation, though he has a couple of Bible thumping aunts that have been fun over the years. They still send me Bible quote, but then send me inspirational quotes rather than judgemental ones. Many of the quotes they have sent me over the years have helped me in explaining things to other Christians I have met. My co-workers are for the most part accepting of it, and the ones that aren't know to keep their mouths shut about it. I work for an international corporation that basically has the policy "We don't want you talking about religion or politics at work; if you choose to do so and have issue with another employee because of their religion or politics, tough." When it comes down to a complaint, its all about who's the better employee. Who works the fastest and the most accurately, who has the better attendance rating, and who does the most for the company.

So in summary, when you do have to face persecution, take a little time to determine what the underlying issues are and you will get farther in finding the acceptance you seek, most of the time.

Lastly, if you need some handy backup facts for dealing with Christians may I suggest http://www.wwpn.org/Pages/coming_out.htm