To Semi and my friends that knew of my fear.

[Shanti]

I faced my fear, finally after a life time of avoidance!

Funny too..I learned the biggest shock of my entire life....it was not the darkness I feared, it was despair! The emotion of despair. I had no clue.
Its amazing. I spent my entire life afraid to turn out the light, I was in instant panic when the electric went out. Just the thought of no light sent adrenalin through me. All those years of fearing the next time a light would go out and all that time I mis-understood. Despair, I never knew. Guess thats what happens when you dont look deep and far enough.

I also learned that it may take more than you realize to truly know yourself!

So after 45 years of a wall that was actually a mis-interpretation, and turned out to be a step, I no longer fear the dark.

As for despair..we understand each other and despair has moved on.

I am free of fear.
It was the hardest challenge of my life, but so many lights have turned on now...it was worth waiting 45 years to do.
I also met me 'thoroughly' for the first time.
It was wonderful.

So I say thank you for listened to my ramblings.

And for anyone that wants to know how I did it...face my fear of the dark that led to learning so much...I went to the woods in the middle of the night with no flashlight, alone, and faced it. It was hard and awful. I experienced emotions that ripped my gut apart....then, as I allowed time to let those emotions, one by one, pass...I woke up. Thats the only word to describe it. I realized things that no words can explain.


It was beautiful.

[LacyRoze]

Good for you!!!! :yourock: _handclapp :abanana:

[WtchyChick13]

Oh sweetie that's absolutely amazing! GO YOU!!! :woot: :woot: :woot:

:hugz:

[RubyRose]

Congrats. That's wonderful.

[Earthy]

Oh well done Shanti.
I'm so pleased you have faced it and overcome :hugz:

[enchancea]

Congrats

[SilverClaw]

Wow Great for you :hugz:

[Pesha]

Blessed Be. :hugz:

BB
DS.

[LostSheep]

Hey! Good for you! this deserves a smilie! :steppy: :flowers: :fpartyman


I went to the woods in the middle of the night with no flashlight, alone, and faced it. I'm not sure i could have done that....

[Teresa]

I faced my fear, finally after a life time of avoidance!

Funny too..I learned the biggest shock of my entire life....it was not the darkness I feared, it was despair! The emotion of despair. I had no clue.
Its amazing. I spent my entire life afraid to turn out the light, I was in instant panic when the electric went out. Just the thought of no light sent adrenalin through me. All those years of fearing the next time a light would go out and all that time I mis-understood. Despair, I never knew. Guess thats what happens when you dont look deep and far enough.

I also learned that it may take more than you realize to truly know yourself!

So after 45 years of a wall that was actually a mis-interpretation, and turned out to be a step, I no longer fear the dark.

As for despair..we understand each other and despair has moved on.

I am free of fear.
It was the hardest challenge of my life, but so many lights have turned on now...it was worth waiting 45 years to do.
I also met me 'thoroughly' for the first time.
It was wonderful.

So I say thank you for listened to my ramblings.

And for anyone that wants to know how I did it...face my fear of the dark that led to learning so much...I went to the woods in the middle of the night with no flashlight, alone, and faced it. It was hard and awful. I experienced emotions that ripped my gut apart....then, as I allowed time to let those emotions, one by one, pass...I woke up. Thats the only word to describe it. I realized things that no words can explain.


It was beautiful.
Congratulations!!! :hugz:

[BlueMoon13]

:fpompoms :fpompoms :fpompoms :fpompoms :fpompoms :fpompoms :fpompoms :fpompoms :fpompoms :fpompoms

[BrigidMoon]

I faced my fear, finally after a life time of avoidance!

Funny too..I learned the biggest shock of my entire life....it was not the darkness I feared, it was despair! The emotion of despair. I had no clue.
Its amazing. I spent my entire life afraid to turn out the light, I was in instant panic when the electric went out. Just the thought of no light sent adrenalin through me. All those years of fearing the next time a light would go out and all that time I mis-understood. Despair, I never knew. Guess thats what happens when you dont look deep and far enough.

I also learned that it may take more than you realize to truly know yourself!

So after 45 years of a wall that was actually a mis-interpretation, and turned out to be a step, I no longer fear the dark.

As for despair..we understand each other and despair has moved on.

I am free of fear.
It was the hardest challenge of my life, but so many lights have turned on now...it was worth waiting 45 years to do.
I also met me 'thoroughly' for the first time.
It was wonderful.

So I say thank you for listened to my ramblings.

And for anyone that wants to know how I did it...face my fear of the dark that led to learning so much...I went to the woods in the middle of the night with no flashlight, alone, and faced it. It was hard and awful. I experienced emotions that ripped my gut apart....then, as I allowed time to let those emotions, one by one, pass...I woke up. Thats the only word to describe it. I realized things that no words can explain.


It was beautiful.

What an accomplishment! That's very cool, I am so proud :)

[raminda]

That's great, I wish I could do the same thing.

I have a fear that gives me chills every time I even think about it but I don't know how to get over it. I really have no idea, but I don't like being afraid.

[phoenixblayze]

wow, im so proud of you! :woot: it took alot of courage to do that

[Tzhebee]

:hugz: I love you! And instead of being proud OF you, I've going to be Proud WITH you. :smile:

This deserves a few :boing: :boing: :boing: :boing: :boing: :boing:

[semi]

In a Carlos Castaneda book, the character Juan Matus said something like, "The difference between a normal man and a Warrior is that a normal man runs away from fear while a Warrior runs at it." I told you all along, you're a Warrior, Shanti. I knew you would do this, knew you would run at it. I'm very happy for you. I hug you, love you, Shanti.

[merlo]

I faced my fear, finally after a life time of avoidance!

Funny too..I learned the biggest shock of my entire life....it was not the darkness I feared, it was despair! The emotion of despair. I had no clue.
Its amazing. I spent my entire life afraid to turn out the light, I was in instant panic when the electric went out. Just the thought of no light sent adrenalin through me. All those years of fearing the next time a light would go out and all that time I mis-understood. Despair, I never knew. Guess thats what happens when you dont look deep and far enough.

I also learned that it may take more than you realize to truly know yourself!

So after 45 years of a wall that was actually a mis-interpretation, and turned out to be a step, I no longer fear the dark.

As for despair..we understand each other and despair has moved on.

I am free of fear.
It was the hardest challenge of my life, but so many lights have turned on now...it was worth waiting 45 years to do.
I also met me 'thoroughly' for the first time.
It was wonderful.

So I say thank you for listened to my ramblings.

And for anyone that wants to know how I did it...face my fear of the dark that led to learning so much...I went to the woods in the middle of the night with no flashlight, alone, and faced it. It was hard and awful. I experienced emotions that ripped my gut apart....then, as I allowed time to let those emotions, one by one, pass...I woke up. Thats the only word to describe it. I realized things that no words can explain.


It was beautiful.


How BEAUTIFUL shanti!!!:fpartyfav
I'm so happy for you!!
The woods is a great place to face a fear of the darkness. :lookwhats

[Serendipity]

Hey that's great stuff! Grats!

[Shanti]

That's great, I wish I could do the same thing.

I have a fear that gives me chills every time I even think about it but I don't know how to get over it. I really have no idea, but I don't like being afraid.

I used to wish too.
Then I wanted.
Then I grew tired.
Then I became determinded.
Then I got angry.
Then I was sad.
Then I was wishing again.
Then wanting.
Then determind.
Then I said screw it!
I want better for me. And darn if I am not going to make it so!

Time...give yourself time. I'm 45!! :)
When you are ready, you too will make it so.

[Shanti]

Semi!! Awwhh, yes. So well I remember those talks. :)
I thought it would be a long time before any change. And darn..without warning, without plan...its time!
On a Saturday, when nothings going on, out of the blue...its time.
And I knew you were right, as you knew it too...the only thing I faced was the when.
And we knew the answer to that too...when I was ready! :)

Senseless rambling...you listened well, as I told myself, and you, things I knew all along.

A friend, you fit that well....is one who listens to things that need not be said!

I hug you. :)

[Shanti]

How BEAUTIFUL shanti!!!:fpartyfav
I'm so happy for you!!
The woods is a great place to face a fear of the darkness. :lookwhats

Hey Merlo!!!!
Yup!! To go to a place you would dare never tread....that is the place that you need to go most! :)

[Gwenhwyfar]

wow, thanx for sharing that Shanti. Good for you!

[Shanti]

Thank you everyone for all the congrats!!
My heart over flows with the kindness you all share.
It is a wonderful day. :)

And TZ....:floating:

[Childof_theMorrigan]

:thewave: awesome shanti!

[Jolixte]

That's awesome, Shanti. :)

[Ishtara]

Congratulations! :floating:

:hugz: