Heart Not Head Advice Needed!

[Lilith Morgaine]

You guys are some of the most level headed friends I have and I really could use your advice. This is a conversation I had with my ex girlfriend today...... It in itself will explain a lot........

most people are giving me "head advice" but it's not helping my heart, you know?


Here is an IM betweem be and my ex who's now out in Colorado. We were together for about 10 mos almost 4 yrs ago
and I feel as strongly drawn to her as I do to Isis..... (if that makes any sense)
(I am superchick)

SuperChickInCT: I miss you so amazingly much
***: hey girl what's up
***: you have been mia
SuperChickInCT: my hard drive died
SuperChickInCT: I'm @ school today
***: oh i see
***: yeah.. i am trying to fix my computer in ct
***: i hope i didn't loose my hard drive
***: sigh
***: so what is new hon?
SuperChickInCT: baby girl..... I love you.... I can't change it, get rid of it, forget it, hate it, destroy it.....
it's just there like a neon sign in my heart mind and soul
***: wow..
SuperChickInCT: I have done everything in my power to do those things, but to no avail.....
SuperChickInCT: it's hopless....
SuperChickInCT: hopeless
***: i don't know what to say
SuperChickInCT: I don't go a day w/o thinking about you
SuperChickInCT: missing you
SuperChickInCT: you don't need to say anything
SuperChickInCT: I just wanted to you to know
***: i want you to be happy honey
SuperChickInCT: I know
SuperChickInCT: ditto
SuperChickInCT: sigh
***: I never knew you considered me so "important" in your life
SuperChickInCT: to be honest.... for awhile.... neither did I
***: lol.. thanks..
***: so is this a new realization..
SuperChickInCT: But I guess I was protecting myself from feeling pain
SuperChickInCT: not new
SuperChickInCT: just getting more real as I let myself feel what's really been there all along
***: may I ask what brought this on..???
SuperChickInCT: I would do anything for you....... I wish a bit of every one of my day was spent with you
SuperChickInCT: "brought this on"?
***: like the realization
SuperChickInCT: after I spent time with you in Wllinford again after not seeing you for so long
SuperChickInCT: but I've *ALWAYS ALWAYS* known I've loved you
***: really?
SuperChickInCT: yes.....
***: So I stirred up all those feelings when i saw you back in feb??
***: and until then you were over me??
SuperChickInCT: yes.... they were all there.... just pushed down so I didn't have to feel the pain of having them
w/o having you.............
SuperChickInCT: never over you.......
SuperChickInCT: just covered up I guess
SuperChickInCT: make sense?
SuperChickInCT: E..... my song to you............
SuperChickInCT: http://www.lyricsnet.net/lyrics.php?id=137 (http://www.lyricsnet.net/lyrics.php?id=137)
SuperChickInCT: the only wish I'll ever have it to have those dreams we talked about as the sun set as we walked in
Sleeping Giant come true.......... that day itself seems like a dream............
***: yes it makes sense
SuperChickInCT: do you remember the day?
***: a little bit..
***: We didn't hike too much did we?
***: just a little
SuperChickInCT: no..... I meant about what you said
***: about my dreams?
SuperChickInCT: yes........
SuperChickInCT: I wanted nothing more than to be a part of them............
***: I don't remember a lot of what my dreams were
***: to be totallyy honest
SuperChickInCT: it's ok......
SuperChickInCT: you talk about shaing your life with someone.... and so wanting to take care of someone.... I love
the protective side of you..... your fierce loyalty.....
***: it gets me into trouble
***: it is a weakness as much as a strength
SuperChickInCT: it gets you into trouble when people take advantage of it
***: yes
***: but also makes me naive
SuperChickInCT: you can believe it or not, my love.... but I would never take adventage of all the precious gifts
you posess....... I can wait....... always know that I love you, would do anything for you, and that my only hope
is that someday..... sigh.... dare I say it........
SuperChickInCT: baby girl...... I want you back...... I want to love you like you deserve to be loved.........
SuperChickInCT: I need to go now
SuperChickInCT: I hope I've given you somethings to think about
***: yes you have
SuperChickInCT: take care of yourself and we will talk soon.............. I should be getting my computer back
Tues. or can I call you?
***: either..
SuperChickInCT: and yes I know what you're thinking..... No, I DON'T have you on a pedistal, Nor do I think you're
perfect :P
SuperChickInCT: can I have the # again.... sorry.....
***: 203 213 ****
SuperChickInCT: have a good day angel.......
SuperChickInCT: @}-'--'-,------
***: night honey


Help.........


Me Without Ellie
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http://www.artareas.com/ArtAreas/home.nsf/4247a371d13148d385256a4400070222/be8b76e2e4fec0b585256b1f0009eecf/$FILE/SM%20Broken%20Heart.jpg

[Cyzarine]

I don't know what advise to give...but follow your heart. If you love her then you have to show it. You have to let her know how much you love her and care for her. If she loves you back then it will all work out. If not, then at least you know you have love to give and the right person will come along. And, I know the feeling of being strongly drawn to someone you love.

[LostSheep]

Oh my Gods... I've sooo been there (not with Ellie, I mean)... I don't know what advice I could give, just to say that I know just what you mean...

... hell, I've sent her song lyrics as well ...

... *sigh* Who invented love?

[EternalMaiden]

The Gods!

If you want my advice about your heart, :( I'll just say I think you should regroup, and gather yourself. I'm sorry to put it like this, but from the appearance of it you're needing something to fufill a void that's always been inside of you.
We all do it, and a lot of us do it with love. And it leaves us that level of desperation and immense sorrow... But it does heal, and we learn who to love.

This person seems to be quite a bit younger than you? And unsure of himself/herself.
I think you should put some distance between you and this person, at least for a bit. And work on being okay with just 'you'. At least a week.
And...perhaps ask them to express their feelings for you. Either in chat or by letter.


I hope that isn't too much 'head' for your liking... :P
Love and Light

[EternalMaiden]

Again, this is a mere opinion. Do what you wish...

And I wanted to add some help: Friends. Family. Let the people who love you, love you, it works quiet miracles for our hearts and minds.

[Kaliel]

You threw yourself at her by the sounds of it. I hope that doesn't scare her away.

Either way you spoke your mind and that's a good thing, whether or not it blows up in your face, at least you tried your hardest.

:) Good Luck!

[~Anamorata~]

Been down this road I don't know how many times, and it never gets any easier. Good luck hon!:bubbles:

[Silvertongue]

I'm not sure you want to hear from me, since I'm really, really new here....I don't know if I qualify as a "friend", but I do know that I have been where you are right now and it is hard.

I know that it took two years for my heart to move on, when my mind was telling me to move on before it was even over. I also know that it didn't matter what advice people gave me, I had to work through it on my own. There's that cheesy saying "The heart wants what the heart wants" and I (cheesy as this makes me)believe it. You can't use your mind to force your heart into submission, it doesn't work that way.

You just have to do what your heart tells you is best for you. If that means you pursue this possibility, then that's what you do.

Good luck, and I hope things work out for you.

[QUEEN OF THE DAMNED]

The Gods!

If you want my advice about your heart, :( I'll just say I think you should regroup, and gather yourself. I'm sorry to put it like this, but from the appearance of it you're needing something to fufill a void that's always been inside of you.
We all do it, and a lot of us do it with love. And it leaves us that level of desperation and immense sorrow... But it does heal, and we learn who to love.

This person seems to be quite a bit younger than you? And unsure of himself/herself.
I think you should put some distance between you and this person, at least for a bit. And work on being okay with just 'you'. At least a week.
And...perhaps ask them to express their feelings for you. Either in chat or by letter.


I hope that isn't too much 'head' for your liking... :P
Love and Light

I agree with what Eternal Maiden said above. And as she says, it's just our opinion. Doesn't make it right or wrong, just some advice to offer to you.

Do you think that Ellie reciprocates your feelings?

[MysticWitch]

Sorry to give you head advice when you asked me not to.. but you sound like a powerful, passionate person.. Why give it to some body who is like talking to a wall. I don't know, maybe they were just shocked to hear what you had to say... but if someone is lucky enough to have someone as passionate as you like them.. they better as hell speak up and tell them what they feel back. You need someone who deserves you, and doesnt keep you guessing. :shhhh:

[BrigidMoon]

I think that you poured your heart out to her. I think she's as you said, thinking a lot about it. Is it wrong of you to tell her you love her? No. I think she's gotta be very special. Don't be afraid to tell someone you love them. I think you should be afraid of not being able to!

:hugz:

I hope you two connect on a more personal level for the next time!