Child with special needs

[Cyzarine]

I am so sick of it at times. Not my Alex or Ethan. People who are so rude or don't unedrstand so they are rude anyway. My Alex has plagiocephaly, torticollis, and minor muscule and minor coordination problems with his hands. People are always gooin and gaaing with Ethan...but when it comes to Alex they are just quit and sometimes rude. When he smiles at people sometimes they don't return the smile. I even had a lady talking to her friend about my child. She didn't know I heard but I did. She was saying about how she'd abort a child if she knew it would come out like that. It makes me cry because he doesn't know he has anything different going on. He didn't ask to be like that. Why do people have to be so ignorant.

[RoseKitten]

I am so sick of it at times. Not my Alex or Ethan. People who are so rude or don't unedrstand so they are rude anyway. My Alex has plagiocephaly, torticollis, and minor muscule and minor coordination problems with his hands. People are always gooin and gaaing with Ethan...but when it comes to Alex they are just quit and sometimes rude. When he smiles at people sometimes they don't return the smile. I even had a lady talking to her friend about my child. She didn't know I heard but I did. She was saying about how she'd abort a child if she knew it would come out like that. It makes me cry because he doesn't know he has anything different going on. He didn't ask to be like that. Why do people have to be so ignorant.

:hugz: I'm sorry people are so mean sometimes hun :hugz: Although, if I were you I probally would have thrown something at her... :uzi:

[Cyzarine]

:hugz: I'm sorry people are so mean sometimes hun :hugz: Although, if I were you I probally would have thrown something at her... :uzi:

I wanted to. I wanted to yell at her so bad...but then I realized that she wasn't worth it. It just makes me mad how someone can say that loud enough to hear. I'm so glad Alex isn't old enough to understand what she said. I know it will hurt him when he is old ehough to understand.

[MysticWitch]

Oh my goodness!
:sick:
How terrible!
:hugz:

[smckim]

what kind of a person does this? what kind of a person wouldn't return a smile to an innocent child? how cruel!!!

[Catiana]

It amazes me how rude and nasty people can, One of the reasons I don't like people. They are definately a couple of cuties.

[Cyzarine]

Yeah, i don't know why people are like that. I mean...yeah, everyone is allowed their own thoughts and opinions...but about a little child, anyone for that matter. It just makes me sick. Thank you all though for making my day better. It really had me down because you don't want to hear stuff like that about your child. Thanks all...:hugz:

[WitchOfEndor]

Oh Cy, I am so sorry that you've run into the icredibly ignorant people in the world. My eldest daughter has Aspergers Syndrome (high functioning Autism) & I been told from a friend that someone said behind my back that I was doing drugs when I was pregnant with my Katie & that is why she is the way she is & that is also why I my twins died. Yes, people can be cruel & nasty but when this sort of thing is said, I want to beat the crap out of them but I get control & wait for Karma to punish them for me.
I believe the children with special needs are indeed special, they have a different perspective of the world & given the chance, make such a huge contribution to the world. I'm sure that your lil guy will be so much more kind & compassionate towards others because of his special situation, just as my katie is. In that kindness & compassion, he has already beaten those nasty people, he'll be so much more enlightened than them. Those nasty people are truly beneath him. I pity those idiotic people, they don't realise what wonderful opportunities they miss out on by getting to know children like your son & my daughter.

Brightest of Blessings upon you & your sweet twins.

[Cyzarine]

Oh Cy, I am so sorry that you've run into the icredibly ignorant people in the world. My eldest daughter has Aspergers Syndrome (high functioning Autism) & I been told from a friend that someone said behind my back that I was doing drugs when I was pregnant with my Katie & that is why she is the way she is & that is also why I my twins died. Yes, people can be cruel & nasty but when this sort of thing is said, I want to beat the crap out of them but I get control & wait for Karma to punish them for me.
I believe the children with special needs are indeed special, they have a different perspective of the world & given the chance, make such a huge contribution to the world. I'm sure that your lil guy will be so much more kind & compassionate towards others because of his special situation, just as my katie is. In that kindness & compassion, he has already beaten those nasty people, he'll be so much more enlightened than them. Those nasty people are truly beneath him. I pity those idiotic people, they don't realise what wonderful opportunities they miss out on by getting to know children like your son & my daughter.

Brightest of Blessings upon you & your sweet twins.

Thank you WitchOfEndor. I wanted to karma poke you too...but I ran out of karma. I do the same...let karma find it's way to them. I know my son will be loved and do well in life. I know his brother, mommy, and daddy will love him if no one else. They both mean so much to me and...I'm gonna start crying...I guess I still can't believe I'm a mommy. Children are amazing, they are a gift, and...oh, nevermind...getting kind of emotional. People can be rude...but mostly when they are rude they are truely ignorant.

[starfire]

They are both cuties! Some people are simply rude. Sometime I think that they should be put in there place though, a simple statement back to the lady that was talking loud enough for you to hear would be, "well your mother kept you didn't she" then walk away...... I hate that we can never think of those type of things when people say things...we are so shocked that our brains are locked up.

Not every one can handle kids with disabilities, so bless you. Also people fear what they don't know and don't understand, so that is usually why you get weirdness from them.... Others are afraid of asking questions because some people get upset if they do, so another avenue is to educate these people...
Tell them Oh I can see you are conserned, he has ...... and he is a wonderful baby, and so much fun.....

[Happy Shrew]

I didn't even realize there was a problem with one of them, just going by the pictures. Does Alex always have that helmet thing on? Is that what makes it obvious? I think it suits him quite nicely, but then again I'm weird.

One of my boyfriend's brothers has problems, too. He's about 13 now and has trouble both with walking and with memory retention. Sweetest kid ever. His grandmother told his mom that she should have gotten more thorough testing and aborted him while he was sitting right there, plenty old enough to know what she was talking about. :(

People are really weid with that kind of thing. Because the family's so big, the parents (and the older kids) often hear "you shouldn't have had so many" or "you should have aborted some." But they won't say that to the little ones, even if they assume the kids don't know what abortion is.

Point is that it doesn't matter, and I don't think he'll grow up to only have his family's love. I don't know what those conditions you listed cause, but trouble with hand coordination? That won't isolate someone from society, just limit them in certain ways. I have low vision (and have had some "special needs" as a result) but I get on fine even though kids were sometimes nasty and adults sometimes made weird conclusions about my parents. If anything, it'll be easier for Alex to find out who his true friends are.

And kudos to you for being the bigger person about it, because I know I wouldn't have.

[aluokaloo]

I am so sorry, you would think people would be more compassionate and understanding, I'm sure both your kids are wonderful! Phooey on that lady, she had no business bingg such a little harpy!

[aluokaloo]

:hugz: I'm sorry people are so mean sometimes hun :hugz: Although, if I were you I probally would have thrown something at her... :uzi:
yeah like a crappy diaper right on her head! Splat! And when she complained about it i would have said, like attracts like.

[Cyzarine]

I didn't even realize there was a problem with one of them, just going by the pictures. Does Alex always have that helmet thing on? Is that what makes it obvious? I think it suits him quite nicely, but then again I'm weird.

One of my boyfriend's brothers has problems, too. He's about 13 now and has trouble both with walking and with memory retention. Sweetest kid ever. His grandmother told his mom that she should have gotten more thorough testing and aborted him while he was sitting right there, plenty old enough to know what she was talking about. :(

People are really weid with that kind of thing. Because the family's so big, the parents (and the older kids) often hear "you shouldn't have had so many" or "you should have aborted some." But they won't say that to the little ones, even if they assume the kids don't know what abortion is.

Point is that it doesn't matter, and I don't think he'll grow up to only have his family's love. I don't know what those conditions you listed cause, but trouble with hand coordination? That won't isolate someone from society, just limit them in certain ways. I have low vision (and have had some "special needs" as a result) but I get on fine even though kids were sometimes nasty and adults sometimes made weird conclusions about my parents. If anything, it'll be easier for Alex to find out who his true friends are.

And kudos to you for being the bigger person about it, because I know I wouldn't have.

Yeah, the helmet (StarrBand) is for his plagiocephaly. That's to correct his miss-shapen head. It was real bad so we went with doing the helmet. Torticollis is when one muscle is the neck is tighter then the others and causes a tilt...not to be funny but like the stupid taco bell syndrom thing...from the commercial. He is getting special splint for his hands which should be here in a month. Yeah, I think that's what makes it more noticable. I think it suits him because he's wild for one. He is always lookinf for a way to do something dangerous...lol.

That is sad. I would not say anything like that infront of someone like that. And who is she to say that his mother should have aborted him. that is so sad. I know he will have the love of others...and he will know who his true friends are. Yeah, the hand coordination keeps him from grabbing things correctly and he has a hard time clapping and stuff...other then that he's fine. I wear glasses. My vision sucks. Without them I wouldn't see anything.

[Happy Shrew]

Well geez, he struggles with clapping, but he's nine months old! :p Adults can be so judgmental of little ones. And it's not like you're ignoring his problems.

I'm just happy to hear that these things are, for the most part, correctable or at least easy to alleviate. Hopefully he won't need the extra equipment for TOO long - another brother in this family was on crutches for a good part of kindergarten and that didn't go too smoothly. I don't think that's the only reason for his abrasiveness now, but it sure didn't help.

Still, I've met abrasive, miserable, generally lousy-minded people who were born as perfect as perfect can be. I think your boy is far better off with such a loving family, strange head or otherwise.

[treefae]

aww i'm sorry he's a cutie and i would smile back.my oldest daughter had severe hip dysplasia that had her in body casts and braces.people would look and whisper and give weird looks,stare.the navy hospital should have found it when she was born but didn't so it got totally dislocated when they finally figured it out.i have to say that military insurance are cheap jerks and should hire more staff.my daughter's hips were never checked by a pediatrician not once.the navy corpsman are qualified to check them which is scary and what led to my daughter's horrible year plus therapy.than the insurance sent us to a college (UNC) for medical treatment and the doctor there cut my baby up and down her body with the cast cutter you can see her scars today this happened 3 1/2 years ago.obviously he used nothing to protect her skin when he cut off the cast.it took me two weeks to heal the cuts.i got no apology from the doctor and was told the blade was new(wtf?) i was horrified when i got my child back from them and was told by the nurse to be careful of infection from the cuts.i was in shock because she was crying cuz they hurt her and i had a 3 1/2 hour drive back home.my mom was with me she flew down to help me cuz my husband was deployed setting up for the war.needless to say i flipped out and made the insurance send us to a competant children's hospital in another state with a wonderful specialist.now her hip is much better!!!i don't think i breathed easy for 3 years because they held surgery over our heads.now she is cleared of it.that jerk doctor never apologized for what he did and that's all i wanted for her.some people are just mean spirited and you have to protect your child at all times.i didn't do anything wrong with my pregnancy.keep your head up and stick around the positive people.hugs and energy to you and your family.

[aluokaloo]

Still, I've met abrasive, miserable, generally lousy-minded people who were born as perfect as perfect can be. I think your boy is far better off with such a loving family, strange head or otherwise.[/QUOTE]


If they were so perfect then they would have manners look past the disability to see the wonderful child he is, and he is most assuredly a cutie-pie!

[aluokaloo]

aww i'm sorry he's a cutie and i would smile back.my oldest daughter had severe hip dysplasia that had her in body casts and braces.people would look and whisper and give weird looks,stare.the navy hospital should have found it when she was born but didn't so it got totally dislocated when they finally figured it out.i have to say that military insurance are cheap jerks and should hire more staff.my daughter's hips were never checked by a pediatrician not once.the navy corpsman are qualified to check them which is scary and what led to my daughter's horrible year plus therapy.than the insurance sent us to a college (UNC) for medical treatment and the doctor there cut my baby up and down her body with the cast cutter you can see her scars today this happened 3 1/2 years ago.obviously he used nothing to protect her skin when he cut off the cast.it took me two weeks to heal the cuts.i got no apology from the doctor and was told the blade was new(wtf?) i was horrified when i got my child back from them and was told by the nurse to be careful of infection from the cuts.i was in shock because she was crying cuz they hurt her and i had a 3 1/2 hour drive back home.my mom was with me she flew down to help me cuz my husband was deployed setting up for the war.needless to say i flipped out and made the insurance send us to a competant children's hospital in another state with a wonderful specialist.now her hip is much better!!!i don't think i breathed easy for 3 years because they held surgery over our heads.now she is cleared of it.that jerk doctor never apologized for what he did and that's all i wanted for her.some people are just mean spirited and you have to protect your child at all times.i didn't do anything wrong with my pregnancy.keep your head up and stick around the positive people.hugs and energy to you and your family.


apology my arse! he should be sued for malpractice! What a $&**!

[Agaliha]

I am so sick of it at times. Not my Alex or Ethan. People who are so rude or don't unedrstand so they are rude anyway. My Alex has plagiocephaly, torticollis, and minor muscule and minor coordination problems with his hands. People are always gooin and gaaing with Ethan...but when it comes to Alex they are just quit and sometimes rude. When he smiles at people sometimes they don't return the smile. I even had a lady talking to her friend about my child. She didn't know I heard but I did. She was saying about how she'd abort a child if she knew it would come out like that. It makes me cry because he doesn't know he has anything different going on. He didn't ask to be like that. Why do people have to be so ignorant.

I'm sorry you-- and your children-- have to hear that stuff. It's unbelivable how rude and insensitve people can be!
If they have those views that I think they should keep them to themselves. It's just uncalled for it imply you should have aborted your kid and say it to your face. _tsk_
I think Alex looks so cute in his picture-- helmet and all. :) I don't see any major difference between the two in those pics either.
I just don't understand people at times.

[Cyzarine]

Thank you all for the lovely posts. It helped me to calm down. I don't see anything wrong with my baby boy...I don't know. I guess some people are perfectionists.

[Kalika]

:hugz:

Some people suck.

Both of your kids look sweet.

You're just going to have to teach them to love everyone... and that not everyone will love them back, because they focus on different things... but that they (your children) should treat them kindly anyways, because they (the rude people) need it more than most people.

[demonique]

My god, that's /awful/! I always feel guilty for just wondering what's wrong with a child when I see a tot with an obvious disability, but I see now that I'm an outright angel compared to these people!!! To not smile at him, to /talk/ like that where the mother and the child could hear? Good that he's not old enough yet to understand! I would've said something... even a "How rude!" may have helped... then again, with that sort of person, who knows?

I think your boys are both adorable, and they're very lucky to have you for a mother... as opposed to someone like that b*tch who mentioned aborting him. *still aghast* I'm sorry people are so awful.

[bluglass]

Your children are beautiful. I find with people in their 70s and older have a set sort of mentality about disabilities that is passe. It IS rude and mean. I have an aunt in her 90s and sometimes things slip out of her mouth that are amazing. But the trick I do is to try and think that it isn't because they are intrinsically horrid just raised badly. They learned bad habits. I turn on my pity for them, especially if I'm not in a place or position to rip their heads off verbally.

Besides what infant would smile at such a pill? lol Kids know these things. I did my best to respect that in my kids taking it as a sign that this person was to be wary of, even if it was relatives. Your kids are great barrometers of character.

My daughter has port wine stain on her face. As an infant it covered across both eyes and down the middle of her face from forhead to chin. Even I blanched the first moment I looked at her, then she cried and her whole face turned crimson and I never noticed it again. But people, even kids would point and say "what's wrong with that baby" or ask how she got disfigured or burned or how did I let that happen and any number of hurtful things. But I almost never saw those people again so I learned not to care. As to rude family, well, if it was my kids grandmother who said the horrid thing mentioned in the thread, that would be the last contact I had with her, mother or not. My dad's dad said something horrid about the first great grandson (my sister's son) and our dad didn't speak to his dad for over a year. It is 14 years later and to this day we don't know what the conversation was -- our dad won't speak about it.

As to those we love and want to keep near, you will educate them and sooner rather than later they will cease to see anything but the beauty and wonder of your children.

As hard as it is (I'm the parent of a special needs child myself) I just keep in front of me as best I can that the universe doesn't hand you anything you aren't supposed to have. These are your children because you are the best parent for them. All my life I wondered why I learned what I did, and what I was supposed to be doing in my life. It felt like wandering with no real purpose. And in a way that was true because it was preparation for my special children. They are exactly where I was going and I have all the tools needed to get them launched into the world.

So you must be one special person too and your children are blessed to have you for a mom.

Bright blessings.
Blu