Having some self esteem issues...

[atropa]

I was wondering what all of you do to make yourself feel better when you're feeling kind of unattractive. I know most of it has to do with the fact tat I'm pregnant and big as a house. But I heard my husband talking about some Jessica Simpson video a couple of nights ago and how hot it was and I just can't get past it yet. Please know that I realize I'm being completely stupid. Please don't bash me and tell me how normal it is to think other people are attractive. I know it's normal. It's just the way he was talking about it hurt my feelings kind of and made me feel really insecure. I guess it's not something you want to hear when you're 8 1/2 months pregnant and sick and know you look like crap at that moment. Besides the fact that I'll never ever look like her. He always says he likes girls that aren't really skinny, that look more womanly and it was a shock to me that he would think that a barbie was hot. He always said that wasn't his type. How can I make myself snap out of this? I know I'm being ridiculous. I've battled insecurity my entire life and right now I'm kind of at a low.

[atropa]

Also please note that I'm asking for advice on how to make my own head feel better, not asking what's wrong with my husband. I know he's normal.

[starfire]

So hard to know what to do. Perhaps you could talk to your husband and tell him what you wrote here, that you know it is silly, but this is how you feel when you hear him go on about someone like that.

I did the same thing, my husband was talking to some friends about some girls that were in the hot tub, and they were teenie bopper, didn't have a figure at all. Still in the thin boy stage. I was thinking to myself, What is wrong with you guys, that is almost sick....I guess they were saying when they get older their fathers going to have to look out....but it just bothered me. I am over weight, and trying to do something about it. But it is hard.

I guess the best thing for you to remember is he married you, and wanted to have a baby with you, not some blonde that with out Daddy she wouldn't be...

Give yourself permision to get mad, or put on make up, and come to the table all dressed up....it will surprise him and you will like the attention...Its worth a try.

hugs. good luck for a happy healthy baby

[atropa]

I mean, we talk about pretty people like Catherine Zeta Jones for instance. We'll both agree that she's a beautiful woman and all, and that doesn't bother me. I know when people are beautiful. I happen to think that Jessica Simpson is in fact a beautiful girl and nice too. It was the particular way he said it I guess. I feel so stupid... It was like I got cut with a knife at that moment. It makes me have these manic thoughts of working out 5 hours a day until I can compare to some of these people that are practically shoved down our throats everywhere we turn. I'm sick to death of seeing people in their panties and bras during prime time television, on billboards, etc. Young boys used to have to look at National Geographic or the Sears catalog to see boobies and underwear lol. Now my son's going to be so overexposed, no matter how much I try to shield him... It's sad.

[Ceres]

When I was pregnant, I used to have very very vivid dreams about my husband messing around. They were so vivid in fact, that I would actually be mad at him the next morning and of course he was clueless :lol:

Be kind to yourself. Spend an evening doing your nails, deep conditioning your hair, exfoliating and shaving everything, and eating good quality chocolate. I call these my spa nights. :)

If you can afford it, get a pedicure and possibly a manicure. Go get a decent haircut and maybe even treat yourself to a colour. Buy shoes...they will fit even after you have the baby :lol:

And join flylady - she will help you pull it all otgether and still remind you to do these kind things to yourself too. www.flylady.net

[TarotCanada]

The last couple of months are the hardest - I think it has something to do with not being able to see your feet anymore and your bellybutton making it around the corner before you do. Men are not the most sensitive creatures at the best of times and he probably doesn't know that this was upsetting to you. I was pregnant with my son when Demi Moore had her picture in all her naked pregnant glory on the cover of People magazine (I think) and that helped. It is the most beautiful time of your life, you are carrying life inside of you and that is the most precious gift in the universe. I always thought I looked better naked when pregnant than I did clothed. You are in the homestretch now and pretty soon you will be holding your beautiful baby in your arms.

Cheryl

[smckim]

There are many different kinds of beauty. Your perfectly normal feeling this way. Try to remember this... You are a Goddess, you are in the Mother phase, and you are carrying a new life inside of you and yes it shows.... But if that is not the MOST BEAUTIFUL, image than I don't know what is. You are Blessed by the Goddess, enjoy it, before you know it you'll be a hottie again!!!
BIG HUGS TO YOU!!:hugz: Sending some energy for self esteem.
Blessed Be.

[MysticWitch]

:hugz:

[atropa]

Thank you guys so much, and thank you for not judging me. The flylady website looks pretty cool, RW. The fact that I'm completely disorganizd doesn't help me feel better about myself, maybe that site will help me to overcome that. I'll be glad when I have Stella and get through the initial couple of months with a newborn. Like I've already said, I like being a Mom way more than being pregnant.

[Ceres]

The flylady website looks pretty cool, RW. The fact that I'm completely disorganizd doesn't help me feel better about myself, maybe that site will help me to overcome that.

The site starts with organization in the home, because its so often a symptom of problems with self esteem. Its really about the whole taking care of yourself first so you can take care of your family.

[atropa]

Wel, I colored my hair. Now it looks like it did when Matt and I met, which I feel more comfortable with anyway. He loves it. It's nice what a small thing like that can do for your feelings. Today I guess I'll paint my nails or something. I'm tired of feeling bad, and reading Frigga's post in "Thoughts on the last days of pregnancy" made me snap out of it some too.

[Ceres]

Aw glad to hear you are feeling better today. I always refer to feeling that way as "ugly days" and I bet even Jessica Simpson has them ;)

[frigga]

Wel, I colored my hair. Now it looks like it did when Matt and I met, which I feel more comfortable with anyway. He loves it. It's nice what a small thing like that can do for your feelings. Today I guess I'll paint my nails or something. I'm tired of feeling bad, and reading Frigga's post in "Thoughts on the last days of pregnancy" made me snap out of it some too.
Glad I could help in some sort of round about way. I've always made sure to do something to make myself feel more attractive during pregnancy. My poor Dh can be so innocently tacky at times. Once he said I was like a cow in a way..._tsk_ . I still haven't let him live it down!
I try to do my hair everyday, and put on makeup even if I'm not going out. It just makes me feel so much better. I think I take better care of my appearance when I'm prego than I do when I'm not!:lol: A great deal of it does have to do with extra water weight that makes me misearable. I weighed in a t 179lbs. yesterday...there's just no words.

[atropa]

My poor Dh can be so innocently tacky at times. Once he said I was like a cow in a way..._tsk_ . I still haven't let him live it down!

Oh my god I would kill Matt and he would pay for that for the rest of his life.


I weighed in a t 179lbs. yesterday...there's just no words.

:hugz: I have you beat by about 6 or 7 lbs. Keeping in mind I used to weigh 125 and I'm 5'10". I could've walked runways with that body. I don't want to be that skinny again, I had no shape. But it would be nice to have a flat tummy again. I know how you feel.