Feels silly still.

[cowdragon]

Okay, this may be hard to explain...but here goes.

I grew up in a strange, yet wonderful family. We were raised religiously, but tolerantly. Both of my brothers are gay. My sister is the only of four of us to stay in the families original religion. I did not beleive, but was encouraged to find what worked for me.

I finally had the courage to admit not only to my self, but to anyone who would listen the reasons I didn't beleive. This is a huge step, since being rised christian, you are taught by the church, that to question is a sin most times. Then to come to a conclusion that science is the only truth and there is no God. This lasted quite a while.

Here's the catch. I could simply not accept the idea that there was no afterlife. So I came to the descision, that I would like to find something that fir my beleifs very closely.

Boom! I stumble upon Asatru! Now, by the time I found it, I wasn't looking anymore. I was just reading about Iceland and its history. (I love history, language, politics, sciences, etc...) yet there it was. It didn't call me, it SCREAMED at me. It shouted my name down through the ages, to come back to the ways of my ancestors. I was very excited! I wanted to know Odin, Thor, Freya, all of them.

Here's the rub though. I have lived so long refusing to bow down to any God/Goddess. So long without performing any ritual. So long without beleiving in the supernatural, that although I feel that this is the right path for my family and I (my wife agrees also) that we feel kinda silly doing our first blot. We would like to do it properly, and don't want to show disrespect to any Gods/Goddesses/ or people who are stronger in their belief than we are.

QUESTION: How do we do this properly, for ourselves, and feel that we are honoring and not mocking this idea/religion/philosophy?

Comments are most welcome! Thank you all. It is a wonderful place here.



The Cowdragon _wiz_

[Crystal Raven]

read!!!!!! read lots and lots!!! have you wife read lots too if she is into it then collaberate and decide what feels right cause if it feels right then it won't seem silly.
Another thought is to start with a shrine, somewhere to "introduce" yourself to the Gods so to speak, perhaps start doing prayers or making offerings to them.

[dragonprincess]

I agree with this. Also, it helps to think that you don't have to bow down to your deity to honor them. They are your equal partners in your life and journey. You honor your wife by loving her and appreciating her, you don't nessisarily "worship" or submit yourself to her(well, I don't know your family life, lol), but thats honoring none the less. You honor your own life by taking care of yourself, getting enough sleep and healthy food, thats honoring too.

[starlalala9]

I think prayer is the easiest for me...
I don't know which God(s) I am most attuned to, but I say prayers to whoever is out there- It gives me a sense of closeness and direction. It establishes something at least.

I understand about feeling silly. I have a group of friends and we did a couple rituals, but I always felt kinda silly doing it- like it wasn't real- it felt like our practices actually. Kinda put me down- I have no incentive right now.

[dragonprincess]

Sorry to hijack your thread, but this goes to starlalala.
I recommend studying as a solitary until you feel more comfortable, don't let your group practices spoil your spell enjoyment.

[Blodwyn]

Maybe if you started out small? Like Shay Shay said, rather than worrying about doing any elaborate rituals for the gods, just try setting up a small altar that you can honor them with offerings. Find effigies of the gods you want to honor and place them on your altar. It'll be a little place of acknowledgement that you can build from when you start to feel more comfortable. You shouldn't feel like your bowing down to them that way...just making friends with them.

[jcldragon]

Asatru is not my religion, but an online friend of mine is devoted to this religion. Her Patron is Freyr, and she has wondered why He chose her, because in the offline world, she is confined to a wheelchair. I have had some communication with Freyr, who was willing to speak with me, because I am a Martial Artist. He indicated to me, (and I subsequently told her), that she was chosen by Him, because she is a fighter. An honorable warrior will always respect one who struggles against insurmountable odds. It doesn't have to be on a battle field. Life itself is enough of a battle field on this planet.

A central part of Asatru is the study of the Eddas. You might consider learning the ancient languages, so that you can read the Eddas in the original tongue. My friend has become fluent in both modern & ancient Swedish, because of her devotion, and sometimes she will translate things for me. :)

[FaeryPainter]

Asatru is not my religion, but an online friend of mine is devoted to this religion. Her Patron is Freyr, and she has wondered why He chose her, because in the offline world, she is confined to a wheelchair. I have had some communication with Freyr, who was willing to speak with me, because I am a Martial Artist. He indicated to me, (and I subsequently told her), that she was chosen by Him, because she is a fighter. An honorable warrior will always respect one who struggles against insurmountable odds. It doesn't have to be on a battle field. Life itself is enough of a battle field on this planet.

A central part of Asatru is the study of the Eddas. You might consider learning the ancient languages, so that you can read the Eddas in the original tongue. My friend has become fluent in both modern & ancient Swedish, because of her devotion, and sometimes she will translate things for me. :)

The drama of holding any kind of ritual can seem quite silly for the first time. Try thinking on a smaller level, honoring the gods in your daily lives. Simple things like asking them to bless your food before dinner, or set aside a little offering plate for them - then set the food outside for nature to share in it. Invite the Gods in for tea and coffee before throwing them a big party! That way you can get to know them a little better before committing. ;)

[Tigerlily]

I know how you feel right now. When I first started reading up on Wiccan about 5 years ago, I didn't believe in any God. At first I felt so weird saying prayers and I felt super uncomfortable doing rituals that I stopped doing them for a couple of years (!).

I just read more on the subject (I'm still learning) and I started slowly. I started practicing small visualisations and small little prayers.

Slowly, you will ease into it. Good luck.

[David19]

Maybe just read up on Asatru and i think there's a online class here at Mystic wicks plus a section in the Recon forum of Mystic wicks. There's a lot of good ideas in this thread so i'm sure you'll pick it up in time.

Other than that, i don't really have anything since i'm not an Asatruer(sp) so i'm not an expert but learning the language sounds like a cool idea, plus it might be a good way to honour your ancestors.

[Driffinna]

Here's the rub though. I have lived so long refusing to bow down to any God/Goddess. So long without performing any ritual. So long without beleiving in the supernatural, that although I feel that this is the right path for my family and I (my wife agrees also) that we feel kinda silly doing our first blot. We would like to do it properly, and don't want to show disrespect to any Gods/Goddesses/ or people who are stronger in their belief than we are.

QUESTION: How do we do this properly, for ourselves, and feel that we are honoring and not mocking this idea/religion/philosophy?


Having gods you believe in and respect doesn't mean you BOW down to them. Bow seems to imply a distant set of Gods/Goddesses whom scare you into worshipping them. And as I am Asatru and know a great deal of the Northeast US community- I don't think many of us would describe that as the kind of relationship we have with our Gods. I don't think many heathens, and pagans in general would either.

Some people describe their relationship with their Gods roughly as parental, a teacher or even friendship. Everyone has a different relationship with their Gods, most which comes out of research and time. Most blots here on the east coast are simple. Really a cup or some sort of container to hold a drink, what you are drinking and yourselves, (prefered a drinking horn and mead but thats not needed). Some people like to dress up in "garb", some like to get a little bit nicer looking, others like myself come in street clothes. When its your turn to have the horn, all thats needed is a "Hail (insert god name here)" or even simplier "Hail the Gods" Some people like the go into elborate speeches to honor and others like a friend of ours sometimes even just holds the horn up in honor and then takes a sip never saying a single word.

As many have pointed out, going back to original sources is a good idea. Like the Poetic and Prose Eddas. Some people like being Lore Heads and do tons or research and others think the basic knowledge and just trying to live the ethics and life style promoted by the Norse Lore and Saga is needed. One of the many things I love about the Asatru community is how concentrated Asatru can be on one subject- the Norse Gods and culture, but how diverse we are at the same time in our focus and approach.

Speaking of Community. I know community is not required, but atleast here in the Northeast, the community is amazing and there is certainly something to be gained from being a part of a community. This doesn't require joining a kindred as I know many who aren't, but going to festivals or open blots I would recommend. (but of course practicing caution. If the blot is not being held in a public place as most aren't meet some of the kindred before hand, like with all things there are unforunatly sketchy people out there.) I found the Northeast community orginally through just a goggle search of "asatru NJ" you could probably do something similar or ask some of the biggest organizations like the Troth.

[Ishtara]

I can completely relate to what you are going through: I spent the first 29 years of my life as an atheist and then all of a sudden Netjer grabbed me and would not let go! Talk about a tough adjustment to make!

Everyone gave you excellent advice, at least it is what worked for me too: you start by focusing on the scholarly/cultural aspects of your path (myths, iconography, language) and you soon notice that "everything is full of Gods" or, to put it differently, that you are getting to know them and their myths so well that they have become part and parcel of your life.
From there it is not a big stretch to start talking to them, or to give them simple offerings. Maybe they will eventually let you know how they want to be served and worshipped, like the Kemetic Names of Netjer did for me :)

I would probably advise spending some time getting to know your Gods better and becoming more comfortable with your spiritual practice before joining a community, but this is just my personal opinion (I am a solitary BTW).

[AlleyCat]

You shouldn't feel "silly" practicing your beliefs, it's the same as any other religion and is nothing to be ashamed of

[Mouse]

Originally I felt silly during rituals etc, but as others have said, do what feels right, and start small.. If you practice honestly, admitting that you are new and still finding your way you wont mock the religion. Speak respectfully to all beings, even if you are not sure if they exist or not, and take quiet time so that if your gods want to contct you they can.
Best wishes,
~miriam

[Nitefalle]

Also, just remember to have FUN with it!!!! If someone forgets a line, if a candle gets knocked over or you accidentally set your scripted ritual on fire, it's OKAY. You won't get struck down or rejected by the gods. They know what fools we mortals can be. Once you're a little more comfortable with it, the words and actions will come naturally, you just have to ride the energies.

[Tzhebee]

QUESTION: How do we do this properly, for ourselves, and feel that we are honoring and not mocking this idea/religion/philosophy?

IMHO, the answer to your question is quite simple and does not matter what path you are referring to. It's all about intent, what is in your heart and how you feel. If you are true and sincere then there is no mockery (even if you get nervous and laugh)....it's ALL about intent. Our gods don't care if we screw up, get nervous, have to do something over again; because, they KNOW that our heart was true.

Best of luck to you and your family. :)

[Darakash]

You've gotten some great feedback and advice here already. I just wanted to add that meditation with the specific intent of communicating with a deity(ies) might be helpful as well. This is a great way to connect, get to know various "personalities" etc.

[Nitefalle]

Oh yes, I have to second Darakash!!! I would never have even started communicating with Deity if not for concentrated meditation. It's really put me at ease, knowing that the gods are there any time to communicate with, not removed, scary entities.

[Storm Moon]

I feel kinda silly too but I did set up an altar to burn incense and meditate (which I should start doing again. I'm lazy lol). I've only done one ritual and it was a self-dedication to Wicca. I screwed up cause it was cold outside :rollingla I might redo it soon but indoors this time. I believe it takes time and patience to get used to something new.