Starting a group, some advice please

[Rina]

3 friends and I are starting a group for some small ritual work. we've all been "solitary" pagans for some time, but now we feel that working together we could grow and contribute more.

Just looking for some general advice on fledgling groups, particularly those with a mixed membership. We'll be 2 wiccan, one non-specific Christian Witch and a druid. What a combo! 2 fire signs and 2 water signs, just in case you were wondering.

What should we avoid, how do we split duties, anything we should expect, or refrain from expecting?

[Jolantru]

Congrats on starting your own group.

Mmm. Lay down some basic ground rules. Since it is a mixed membership group, remember to practise respect (one key ingredient in any group dynamic). Remember that everyone has different personalities and different backgrounds - so they will have different mindsets when it comes to group ritualwork. Conflicts will still happen but the key thing is to remember what the group is working towards. Set down goals and expectations. Bear in mind that sometimes, rituals will not work out the way you wanted. So, go with the flow, listen to the group as a whole and as individuals.

Also, remember to give everyone a chance to air their thoughts or feelings. It's not good to harbor bad feelings within one's self and let the group function well. Allow, before every ritual work or gathering, some time to have an emotional weather-check.

Perhaps, you should get the group together. Do a brainstorming session, sound everyone out. What do each of you want out of the group? What are your expectations? What are your needs/interests? If you want to have a High Priest/ess, do you want to rotate this role around? If not, are you comfortable with an eclectic feel to the ritual?

I think Starhawk wrote some good stuff on group dynamics. Read Dreaming the Dark where she has listed down pointers on how to manage groups and gatherings, including group meditations so as to have the group bonded better.

Well, this is all I have to say about groups and group management. Good luck and blessings on your group.

Cheers,
Jolantru

[Sage Rainsong]

I suggest reading a book about it such as Kate Wests' the real witches coven. It covers a whole lot of thoes issues. i agree though the most important thing is that there are clear guidelines and clear expectations of what is expected. That would save a lot of arguments. Also you could implement the talking stick method, (meaning the only one who can talk is the one with the stick) when disscussing what you should do. I know that it sounds kind of corny but it allows everyone to say there opinions without people of a more dominant personality interupting. Congrats by the way.

[Ivy Artemisia]

I agree with Jolantru, your first step is to lay down some ground rules. In my coven, they are a pretty long and specific group of bylaws, but at least come up with some rules so that everyone is on the same page about the amount of commitment and purpose of the group.

Here are a few ideas of what to include:

Who's in charge? Will you be taking turns hosting rituals and meeting?
Will you be actively seeking new members? Should you put a post on Witchvox up? Or create a website or yahoogroup?
Whats the purpose of the group? To honor the God and Goddess? To aid in the education of your fellow witches? To heal the earth?
How will decisions be made? Voting or consensus?
What are the taboos of the others' religious traditions? For example, maybe one of your members has issues with Jesus? Its important to respect her feelings, so if the Christian Witch decides to evoke Jesus at a ritual, you might have an issue with it. Its good to get all this out, so you know what everyone feels uncomfortable about.
Will you have a book of shadows? Will everyone keep their own, or will there only be one copy?
Will you have classes? Maybe they will rotate around person to person?
How will you structure your meetings? Will they be administrative based? Or education based?


Its really important that you get everyones expectations, needs and wants out there... because you don't want to be working together for a month, and then some one realizes that she doesn't want to be in a group that [fill in the blank here]. They may be your friends, but that doesn't always mean you'll click in a group sense. Everyone has different needs, especially when you come from so many different backgrounds as you do.

Just work on developing a group mind, and as you are already friends, I bet that will come easy to you. My book suggestion for you are Covencraft by Amber K- this is a really great book. One part of it explains five stages of group formation. This will give you an idea of what to expect. I've found that its pretty right on. Another book I'd suggest is Elements of Ritual by Deborah Lipp. Its a WONDERFUL book and will help you create richer, better rituals. Its written from a Wiccan perspective, I bet (I need to re-read it again), but it transcends tradition and helps the reader with an explanation WHY we do each ritual step. Both books are MUST READS for students in my group, especially those who want to eventually hive.

If you want to chat or anything, feel free to IM me.. AIM-magickalmeli, Y!-ivyfyre. :)

[LadyCelt]

is this a coven or study group?

is anyone higher up in degrees and/or certified as a preist or priestess?

[Rina]

To be honest i don't think we're sure quite what it is yet. It may end up being both things at different times.
No, none of us is certified in anything or a recognised preist.

[Ben Gruagach]

I second magickalmeli's recommendation for Amber K's book "Covencraft." It covers pretty much everything you might want to know about starting and running a magickal or spiritual group regardless what specific religion you might want to follow.