Being a borderline, dating an empath

[LacunaCobra]

Hey guys! I'm having, or should I say my boyfriend is having a problem. Empathy runs on his mother's side of the family and he's got it... big time. Only he doesn't quite know how to handle it when emotions from me hit him like a freight train. I have borderline personality/bipolar disorder so you can only imagine the random things that come out of nowhere. Feelings from my past, my fears, pain, sometimes good things too... you name it... even if I'm not aware that the thought crept into my head for a nanosecond, he can pick up on it. When it does hit him, it's crippling. It brings him to his knees in agony. It breaks my heart that he's experiencing this. Is there anything that we can do?

[MelMullooly]

I could see how that is a problem. I wish my SO had that just one day, but if he did all the time I would feel bad. I to have B.P so I know what it feel like to have a manic episode, Im sending you some energy and I will pray that he learns how to deal with his talent. This is a blessing, no matter how cursed U may feel!

[LacunaCobra]

I could see how that is a problem. I wish my SO had that just one day, but if he did all the time I would feel bad. I to have B.P so I know what it feel like to have a manic episode, Im sending you some energy and I will pray that he learns how to deal with his talent. This is a blessing, no matter how cursed U may feel!

Thank you for your encouragement! It means a lot! I just hate seeing this happen to him, at the most inopportune times too... when he's at work, out with his friends... it's one thing if it happens when we're together or he's alone, but even when he is alone he's so overwhelmed by "my" feelings of abandonment that he's afraid to be alone! I don't want him to completely shield himself from it, just not be so blindsided by it, if that's possible. I know with me and animals sometimes you can't help but be blindsided... there's nothing you can do. But at this point, removing myself from his life wouldn't make difference because we're so connected we can feel each other no matter where we are... only he's the one having it interfere with his life. :sniffsnif

[LostSheep]

Hey there,
I think I'm pretty much on both sides of the fence here so i know how you're both feeling. I'm an empath and I'm borderline personality disorder as well, how's that :rolleyes: .
So i don't know if I can be much help, other than to say I know how you're feeling. So I'll just say :hugz: to you both ...

[Pesha]

Sweety, maybe it is a good thing that he is an empath. He would be able to pick on you when you cycle. He just needs time to get used to being empathic. It takes time. I send you both calming and balancing energies.

BB
DS.

[LacunaCobra]

Thank you all for your love and support!

[LadyAriana]

He should try and work on some specialized shielding. Something that keeps him aware of your cycles (if he wishes) but at the same time reducing the emotional trauma on his psyche. I've had to do it just to be in the same room with my mom, who is BP.

[LacunaCobra]

This is pretty new for the both of us, so I'm not really sure how to go about helping him with that. He's able to "control" how he's affected when it's other people, but with me he says that it's on a whole different level, because I have had so much pain in my life. I did some reading on empathic shock, and I know he's had that twice from me. It was so awful, seeing how he went to pieces in a matter of minutes, crying and saying, "What did they do to you? I'm so sorry...", over and over.

He also describes my aura for me, which is so fascinating to me! He says generally I have a warm orange color, but tonight when I was having a slightly paranoid manic state he described it as being a very deep purple-black (he said that in this state it was almost as if I had no way of knowing what I was capable of doing... lol, which is so true... and it gets me into trouble here and there!).

Here's another thing I don't quite understand... sometimes he'll call me and ask me if I'm "projecting", and he's usually pretty shaken. I say, "I don't think so," cuz a lot of times it's when the "aware" part of my brain isn't stuck on something unpleasant. Is there a possibilty that I could be doing this to him and not be aware of it, or are we so connected that when he thinks a happy thought about me, all the junk comes flooding in accidentally? And i'm finding that I'm starting to feel things from him too, which is unchartered territory for me cuz I'm an animal empath, lol. Maybe I'm just falling in love! *sigh*

Thanks for sticking with me if you read this far! And as always, I appreciate any advice!

[LostSheep]

I know it's very difficult being an empath and being close to someone, particulalry if you're not talking regulalry, and soemtimes I get a rush of feelings come over me and I don't know where they're coming from, but what comes to my mind first is thinking about the other person, so I might think that that's who they're coming from, even if they might not be. So they might not be coming from you,they might be from somewhere else - that doesn't mean he's thinking of someone else, but he might be completely unconsciously picking up on someone else, a complete stranger maybe, but associating them with you because you're the first one he thinks of. Even if he can control what he's picking up from others, it can be quite easy for feelings to creep up on you when you're in a receptive kind of mood or you're thinking about your significant other.
Anyway, that's what I think happens to me soemtimes, it might or might not be like that with you and him. Just a suggestion anyway. :)

Love the turtle, by the way.

[CzechWoods]

Hey guys! I'm having, or should I say my boyfriend is having a problem. Empathy runs on his mother's side of the family and he's got it... big time. Only he doesn't quite know how to handle it when emotions from me hit him like a freight train. I have borderline personality/bipolar disorder so you can only imagine the random things that come out of nowhere. Feelings from my past, my fears, pain, sometimes good things too... you name it... even if I'm not aware that the thought crept into my head for a nanosecond, he can pick up on it. When it does hit him, it's crippling. It brings him to his knees in agony. It breaks my heart that he's experiencing this. Is there anything that we can do?

there are things that he can do and there are things that you can do.

he:
should learn how to work wih his empathy. he could see this a chance to actually work his additional abilities into his daily life. if he does not work-out his third eye, the sudden emotions will likely bring him to his knees. it is like if he had to carry heavy loads if he doesnt work out his arms, he will have sore muscles after the carrying. if he keeps in shape, the sore muscles wont be much of an issue.

i recommend he would get stones that are excellent to improve clearvoyence such as
especially blue
~sapphire,
http://de.msnusers.com/czechwoodsgems/sapphiresaphir.msnw
~iolite (cordierite, water sapphire)
~ kyanite
http://de.msnusers.com/czechwoodsgems/ihrewebseite1.msnw
and/or
~amethyst
http://de.msnusers.com/czechwoodsgems/amethyst.msnw
~clear quartz
http://de.msnusers.com/czechwoodsgems/clearcrystalquartzbergkristall.msnw
plus
~ precious serpentine (also sold as 'new jade' or 'china jade')
http://de.msnusers.com/czechwoodsgems/serpentinenewjadeserpentinneuejade.msnw

to stay grounded i would recommend
~schörl = black tourmaline
http://de.msnusers.com/czechwoodsgems/tourmalineturmalin.msnw
and agate,
http://de.msnusers.com/czechwoodsgems/agateachat.msnw
especially blue dyed agate from brazils
http://de.msnusers.com/czechwoodsgems/agate2dyedachat2.msnw



YOU should also try to work out against those sudden emotional flicks.
I would recommend you to be wearing
~ametrine
http://de.msnusers.com/czechwoodsgems/ametrine.msnw
~chytha serpentine
http://de.msnusers.com/czechwoodsgems/chythaseprentine.msnw
~amber
http://de.msnusers.com/czechwoodsgems/amberbernstein.msnw
~peace agate
http://de.msnusers.com/czechwoodsgems/achatagate5weisswhite.msnw
~turitella agate or turitella jasper
http://de.msnusers.com/czechwoodsgems/agate4achatturitella.msnw

[LacunaCobra]

I bought him a tourmaline point pendant for Christmas along with kyanite and a few other stones. I got myself a kyanite wand and I just love it! I can feel the energy pulsing from it... it's amazing! We haven't exchanged gifts yet so I will let everyone know how they work out for him. He loved the piece of kyanite too, and I was half tempted to give him mine but I fell in love with it. Are there any other stones that would be beneficial to either of us?

[PoisonIvy]

I would definately say,hematite. Hematite is a grounding stone. As an empath,it always seems to help me when I am in large crowds where emotions are very powerful,so it might help your SO.
He ought to try some meditations and practice his centering,grounding and shielding. Have him buy The Wiches Shield by Christopher Penzack. The book comes with a meditations CD that works wonders. I highly recommend it!

[LacunaCobra]

Cool! I will definitely look into that. I didn't even think of hematite. I have one of my own, lol. He loves his tourmaline point. Takes it with him everywhere. I also got him "The Idiot's Guide to Psychic Awareness", lol. It took me hours to wrap it up cuz I kept getting distracted and reading it! I got myself a kyanite pendant cuz I am so in love with this stone! And I'm having a Reiki master in Texas make me a necklace. It's gonna have "Lepidolite in the center with a Moonstone and Snowflake Obsidian drop, and the rest of the necklace is Clear Quartz, Amethyst, Sugilite and Kyanite with a little more Obsidian to help the wearer gently ground out." She's also gonna add garnet and one other thing to it but I can't remember. :P I'm really looking forward to getting it! :boing:

[elfmage]

First off, :hugz:. Ok, advice!

I agree that your boyfriend should learn some shielding techniques. When I have a manic episode, a close friend of mine picks it up instantly (he's a pretty powerful empath), and it really throws him. So, I've been working on my shielding abilities too! Grounding is also really helpful, although I know it's not easy when you're manic.

It's probably best that you study those techniques too, though, because if your boyfriend is picking it up, chances are any other empaths you come into contact with are too. It's a difficult situation, and one that can't be helped, but you can try and lessen the severity.

:hugz: Prayers for you and your boyfriend.

[LacunaCobra]

Hi guys! Things are wonderful with me and Jeff! I just completed an intensive outpatient treatment program for borderlines called dialectical behavioral therapy. I'll tell you what... the skills that I learned thru this program have helped me in ways I never imagined, and it's brought me and Jeff even closer together! He hasn't had any "empathic bombardment" episodes lately, but he's still pretty tuned in to me on all levels. As far as sensing others, he said that he's been blocking everything out. Not sure if that's entirely a good thing, but that's up to him to decide. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers! :hugz: