This is how he reminds me... *ack*

[LyraDragonStar]

:rant: :strike: :(

I don't understand it. I am over Viny (my exboyfreind). Honest to god, I am. I could care less about him at the moment. It's been a little less than 2 months, I think, since he and I broke up. Yet, it's been like...2 and a half months since the I was kissed by my BEST FRIENDS brother Marcus...my first kiss. I'm still not over that.

I didn't even like him. I thought HE liked me. But with everyone teasing me like they did...I actually started to like him..kinda. Then, all that stuff happend, and I did like him. Then I found out he used me, and it pissed me off so bad, I was hurt and confused. I just don't get it. If it made me so mad, if I think he's so mean for that..then why do I dwell on it all. Why do I keep thinking he might actually like me??? Why do I still sneak glances at him in 8th hour hoping he's looking back?? Why do I still hope that he means something everytime he talks to me?? *is highly confused and needs help*

Simple things remind me of him..or what happend. Day in and day out. And it causes me problems. It is disrupting my life. It's annoying me. And I imagine it's annoying my friends.

But they don't understand it..heck, I don't even understand it. What's wrong with me??

He can't actually like me... it was all just one big lie. But I don't know who to hate, him, me, or my best friend. Him because he used me. Me because I fell for it. Or my best friend because she was the one feeding me all the information..telling me all these things about how he likes me. She was the one who asked him if he could go out with me would he. (she and I were talking on email one day and it wasn't supposed to mean anything. I thought he liked me, and I wanted to know if he really did). Well..people teased me, and thought I liked him. But I didn't.

Grr.... *bangs head on desk*

[BrigidMoon]

:rant: :strike: :(

I don't understand it. I am over Viny (my exboyfreind). Honest to god, I am. I could care less about him at the moment. It's been a little less than 2 months, I think, since he and I broke up. Yet, it's been like...2 and a half months since the I was kissed by my sisters brother Marcus...my first kiss. I'm still not over that.

I didn't even like him. I thought HE liked me. But with everyone teasing me like they did...I actually started to like him..kinda. Then, all that stuff happend, and I did like him. Then I found out he used me, and it pissed me off so bad, I was hurt and confused. I just don't get it. If it made me so mad, if I think he's so mean for that..then why do I dwell on it all. Why do I keep thinking he might actually like me??? Why do I still sneak glances at him in 8th hour hoping he's looking back?? Why do I still hope that he means something everytime he talks to me?? *is highly confused and needs help*

Simple things remind me of him..or what happend. Day in and day out. And it causes me problems. It is disrupting my life. It's annoying me. And I imagine it's annoying my friends.

But they don't understand it..heck, I don't even understand it. What's wrong with me??

He can't actually like me... it was all just one big lie. But I don't know who to hate, him, me, or my best friend. Him because he used me. Me because I fell for it. Or my best friend because she was the one feeding me all the information..telling me all these things about how he likes me. She was the one who asked him if he could go out with me would he. (she and I were talking on email one day and it wasn't supposed to mean anything. I thought he liked me, and I wanted to know if he really did). Well..people teased me, and thought I liked him. But I didn't.

Grr.... *bangs head on desk*

Although it seems like a big deal now. I wouldn't sweat it. I mean, yes, I can see it's hurtful and all that but ...why let a guy get to you so much?

I'd ignore people that teased you. And I would tell your best friend to butt out of your love life too.

Try a ritual for closure maybe?

:hugz:

[Chibi-Fallon]

Yet, it's been like...2 and a half months since the I was kissed by my sisters brother Marcus...my first kiss. I'm still not over that.


Boo, that sucks. Your first kiss is always something you remember, but try not to dwell on it too much. I say just give it up to the Gods and be done with it. That helps me when I can't stop thinking about something.
I take a bath (if I can) and just sit and meditate on it and then at the end I give up the energy to Them and am done with it. It's really helped me.

One question, your sister's brother? Wouldn't that be your brother? I assume it's not I'm just looking for clarification for my own piece of mind.

[LyraDragonStar]

LMAO. Ok, have to change that. I meant my best friends brother. :lol: :T

My bad.

I wish I didn't dwell on it so much, but I just can't seem to help it. I don't know how not too. And rituals are out of the question.

[Chibi-Fallon]

LMAO. Ok, have to change that. I meant my best friends brother. :lol: :T

My bad.

I wish I didn't dwell on it so much, but I just can't seem to help it. I don't know how not too. And rituals are out of the question.

I thought maybe you meant best firend by "sister" but I decided to make sure. ;)

And it doesn't have to be a whole big ritual, sometimes before bed I just imagine the thought floating out of my head and off somewhere else where it won't bother me anymore.

[LyraDragonStar]

But surely it can't be that easy.

Not for me anyone. I have concentration problems. I don't meditate well.

[MysticWitch]

guys come and go. :2G:

[Chibi-Fallon]

The first time I did this (got it off a website, was a little more invovled, oils, candles and whatnot) I was letting go of stuff that still bothered me from first grade, and I was about 17 at the time.
It's not a cure all, and for bigger stuff it doesn't always work 100% and it takes a little time, but I've found that it helps.
And if other stuff pops up you just have to let go of that too. It feels really nice if nothing else. :D

But it has really really helped me in the past.

[LyraDragonStar]

but how? How do you just......'let go'....

[BrigidMoon]

but how? How do you just......'let go'....


Why wouldn't you just let it go? Why let it bother you so much that it could deter you from being happy with someone else in the future? Why let the power of that situation get to you so badly?

:hugz:

[Willow Rosette]

Another good one to do when you are unable to do an actual ritual is to flush it lol write it on a piece of toilet paper and flush it, imagining the problem going with it. I do that at work when Im needing to release frustration and no one has a clue as to what I am doing. Good luck.

[LyraDragonStar]

Why wouldn't you just let it go? Why let it bother you so much that it could deter you from being happy with someone else in the future? Why let the power of that situation get to you so badly?

:hugz:

I don't know. That's my problem. I just...don't get it. It's the weirdest thing. And it's bugging me. That's why I'm asking and everything.

Ok, well, last night, I had a dream about him. His twin brother got married to his girlfriend, and my family was invited to the wedding at this really small church. Well, he was there (Marcus) and he was talking to me (I don't remember what about though). At one point, he just looked at me, and touched my face like it meant something....and then he got up and walked away.

*shrugs*

[LyraDragonStar]

I think maybe I just have unresolved issues. I don't know if what my friend told me was even true. She says it is, but she lies sometimes. I don't know what his motives were. I don't know anything...I was just there...it seems.

Does that make sense?

[EarthSeaSky]

On the letting go ritual, I did something similar a few years ago when I had a really rocky relationship with my cousin (we were both to blame for it) so I did something that my mom had always suggested. I wrote a letter to her and poured all my bad feelings out until I couldn't write anymore. Then I burned the letter and immagined all the bad energies and feelings dissappear with the smoke then I washed the ashes down the sink drain and I can't hardley describe how much better I felt afterwards, it was a big relief. So if you want you could try that, it helped me release a lot of pent up anger and frustration and felt great to see it all burn away. Hope this helped.

Sheona

[LyraDragonStar]

How can I burn anything, though?? Maybe I could just tear it up and let it blow in the wind?? I actually wrote a letter the weekend after it happend. I think I still have it too... And maybe I could tear that one up with the new one?

[BrigidMoon]

How can I burn anything, though?? Maybe I could just tear it up and let it blow in the wind?? I actually wrote a letter the weekend after it happend. I think I still have it too... And maybe I could tear that one up with the new one?

Why not step outside and burn it there?

[LyraDragonStar]

That'd be complicated without my brother or mom knowing...and if they know I do something like that....then I'm in BIG trouble. BIG trouble.

At night though, I've been saying an afirmation to let go of it. It might be working, I dunno. But I just...act so weird around him. And, how can I be so sure he doesn't like me??

[LyraDragonStar]

-Bump-

Ooh, people make me mad. Last night, ok,let me tell you the conversation or my interpretation of what I heard was said anyway:

Marcus: "I bet you I can get a kiss from someone tonight"
DK (a kid in my class that likes me): "I bet you can't get one from Kacey (a girl in the grade above me) or Lana (that's me)"
Marcus: "Haha, they are probably the only one's that will"

Ok, so that's all I knew. Yet, I also think Marcus has a girlfriend. And the whole thing made me mad. I'm not sure if it's cuz I still like him, or that he acted more interested in Kacey than me.

ya know?????

Cuz he like's to 'mess with me'....at random times...and I don't see him do that to anybody else. I don't know what he means by anything... *sigh*

I'm confused. Can you tell??

[LostSheep]

I think I can tell.
I think I can understand how you're feeling you're being screwed around with, I don't understand people either, they might drop a hint sometimes that makes you think they might still think of you ocacsionally at least, then they blank you when you try to pin them down for some kind of an answer, they ignore you while at the same time they drop hints that only you'd really understand ... people are confusing.
Maybe it's just that he's confused as well, he doesn't really know what he wants, or he does but he doesn't want to admit it to you?
At least you are in contact with him, at least he can't blank you completeley when you just want to know what the hell's going on.
... sorry, a bit of bitterness coming out there maybe?
Anyway, maybe it's just that, he isn't really sure what he wants, he has to try to look cool in front of his mates?

[MelMullooly]

Thank God I never have to do high school again? How retarded? I would tell him that to ? Just say I'm sorry but are you slow or something. I bet I can get a kiss. Honey you need 2 be a smart ass. I would of found a freind got close 2 the losed and said loudly I bet I can get a guy to shut his mouth tonight> When she says yeah who say marcus cause if the phenoke dont shut up I'm gonna let every girl in the class know how he made me go get 2 bottles of rid for his crab problem!!

[MelMullooly]

or go up to him when his lil freinds are around and hand him a herpes brochure and say i was thinkin of you and your problem here this should help hand him the pamplet and walk away

[LyraDragonStar]

I am not exactly sure what you're saying, but if I get it right, then...


Oh snap!!! Girl, you got me there. :lol: :lol: That's an idea. ;)

Now, I hear that she kissed him on the cheek. There are also people saying that Kacey asked Marcus out, and she didn't. She acts like she does like him, but I don't know what to think.

I attempted to email Marcus about it, but he didn't email me back.

[LyraDragonStar]

OMg. I just found out he's going to make me something for Christmas. Ok, he's going to make me an altar table.....0.o

[phoenixblayze]

im gonna say that he is am immature goofball, and you should find someone else to like......i hated high school

[LyraDragonStar]

Yea, I dunno. I hate school. lol, many people have considered this the year of the rumor.

Tonight, I plan on calling Chelsea (his sister, of course) and asking her (as long as marcus isn't with friends and is home) to ask him-while on the phone with me-if he does like me. I can't do it myself, I'm too scared, but if he wants to talk to me, so be it. I just want to straighten it all out, ya know?

I think he does like me...because the email he sent Chelsea about my 'present'...said this (she forwarded it to me to read):


hey ask lana what she wants on the new table top im goen to make
her. i think that that stuff is cool as hell and i want to give her
somthen for christmas. uhu just have her snd me some pics of the
ritual symbals she wants later

Note the: "and I want to giver her something for Christmas"

[LyraDragonStar]

Well, just an update...

I emailed him asking him if he likes me. He says he does, but not a lot. And he gave me the same 'age' stuff that Chelsea did. That stuff confuses me.

Well, now I'm sad. I guess.. I hate it.

Just thought I'd tell you.

[BrigidMoon]

Well that sucks. :hugz:

[LyraDragonStar]

Yea, but I just feel like something is missing. Like there's something I'm not being told..or something... you know? Just...something...

[*kebra-moonstone*]

Just a little info: You guys can go out with he is 18 you guys just can't have sex and if I know you Lyra i would think that you would want to wait i don't know that isn't my business but anyways my boyfriend is 17 and I am 14 and we have had sex but it wasn't a bad thing because we love each other very much and we were both virgins and we think we are going to be together forever and we really truly want to. but anyways back to what i was saying. You guys can go out you guys just can't have sex thats all...