I gotta rant....

[MammaStar]

I'm posting this here, because it mainly deals with music. I need to rant, cause, well, I just do.

My darling boy came home today from school and told me his teacher was trying to tell him what he listens to is bad and "inappropriate for his age".

Apparently, the kids were discussing music in class today. The teacher asked what the students listen too, my son very excitedly answered "heavy metal" and his teacher began to tell him it was wrong & not right for some one his age to listen to it. (he's 9). She also went on to say that Heavy Metal music is the reason why there's gang violence, along with rap music.

Now, as I posted in the Britney thread, I feel musicians are Role Models. That's not the issue. What right does someone have to tell MY CHILD what is right & wrong? I've always had an issue of teachers & other people telling me what I can & cannot listen too. I bet Al & Tipper still have some of the letters I wrote them back in the PMRC days! I was sooooo annoyed with his teacher. I did ask my son if he pointed out that his mother monitors what he listens too. I don't think he did, he's kinda of intimated by her. But it just cheezed me off. I think even more so, because there was another incident, that I've discussed in Pagan Family (i'm just a posting slut today!) that aggravated me as well.

While I still stand by my postings in the Britney thread, musicians=role models=RESPONSIBILITY. I did state that music and musicians are the not root of all evil. I do see the point where someone may feel that certain kinds of music induce certain kinds of behavior. The trials of Ozzy & Judas Priest are still etched upon my mind, I don't think a teacher has the right to tell a kid what they can & cannot listen to in their own home.

Okay, had to rant. Discuss, advise, scream at me, whatever. I just had to rant & rave. Thanks for reading.

[Hedwig]

I agree 100% that teachers do not have the right to make such comments. I can't imagine the principal would disagree. To say that music is the cause of gang violence, etc. relieves the perpetrators of the responsibility. If it were me, I would feel a strong need to point this out to her.

This is exactly the sort of thing that makes me want to home school when I have children. I can't imagine trusting teachers to be responsible. My own experience shows that they are not.

[Faery-Wings]

LdyS~ That is ridiculous! She has absolutely no right to make any sort of judgement call on what your son is listening too. And after reading your post in Pagan Family, I think we gotta go gang up on her. :D:D:D Seriously, this teacher needs to be reminded that she is a "teacher" not the students' parent. You might want to consider writing her a note or a phone call if something happens again. Your poor son's self esteem is going to be shot if she keeps making judgements on him. he sounds like and awesome kid and you are doing a great job as a mom. Don't let her bugs get in the way.

Hey, I would love to know know what "pure" form of music she listens too....grr....

BTW- when I was teaching preschool, my then 3 year old son was at the lunch table. The kids were saying how much they like Brittany Spears and Cristina Aguilara (sp?). Scott comes out with "My favorite song is "let's do the Time Warp Again." ROTF! I thought it was very cool. My kids listen to what I listen to. My daughter now loves the Peppers and Metallica and Creed. And we watched one of Kiss's farewell shows on tape- Scott thought they were awesome, grabbed his guitar and pretended to throw up blood. LOL But then he'll go outside and talk to the trees and squirrels. Bad kid, eh? :rolleyes:

Good luck with this teacher.

Chris

[Siren]

when i was 10 i was listening to heavy metal ....*sigh*.....but it's really none of her business what your son listens to .....*growl*

some teachers do not realize that there are boundaries within their job....and tellilng a child what he does is "wrong and bad" is one of them....no matter what it is....that is up for a parent to decide.....

and i see nothing wrong with heavy metal or rap.....i grew up just fine....

so "pah huh!" to the teacher......

i would tell her in no uncertain terms where to go....(hmm, wonder if that's the heavy metal talking??? :rotfl: )

[MammaStar]

Thanks Guys!!!!!!!!!

I'm feeling a bit better today. And as I said, the kids are now off for the next week & a half, so she probably won't even remember.

There's lots of things that bugs me about this woman. The music crack is just a long list.

I got another one for ya, ready?

In September, we had "meet the teacher" night. My son's father actually showed up (he's been to one since Kindergarten). Now, my ex is good looking, probably why I was with him in the first place!
:eek: The teacher HAD THE NERVE to come up to me & comment "he's so good looking, why did you let him get away?" I just laughed & walked away, cause I was miffed. Then, as we were leaving, she was talking to us, well, actually only addressing his father. Now, my son LIVES with me and his dad lives AN HOUR AWAY in NJ (where Chryssi lives :D ). He's not involved in the day to day activities. He's aware of that, and as long as I keep him informed (which I do my best at) he's got no problem with me making the decisions.

At this point, I was real pissed off about the teacher's reaction. THEN, oh, this gets better, the next day, she says to my son: "J- your father is sooo actractive." My son freaked! He came home telling me what she said & how it made him feel "weird". Wanted to smack the woman.

I'm friends with my son's step mom (see post in Poetry & Lit), but I haven't the heart to tell her what this woman said, because my son's step-mom, gets even MORE uppity than I do! :lol:

Okay, no more ranting. Just wanted to say thanks to you all. Gotta get off my big butt :lol: & wrap some presents.

Now, we all know, I'm not leaving after this post, not yet at least! :lol: :lol:

[Siren]

and i would be telling her exactly where those are...and is she is not capable of keeping them there, then i would be going to her boss, the school board, the trustees...etc....

that's just wrong...

it's great that you and your ex and your son's step mom get along pretty well....that is a great help to your son.....

but, this woman sticking her nose in where it does not belong is bad, and may begin to confuse him.....

i would set a meeting with her, and talk to her about appropriateness of conversations to her students and their parents, and what being professional is....i think she needs to learn this quickly, or she is gonna find someone not as "forgiving" as you...ie, step mom (as you stated).....

[Twilight Garden]

Yes, you definately need to make her aware of the uncomfortable situation(s) she has created. Being judgemental and critical can not only be a bad exaple for her class, but is the breeding ground for damaged self worth. I believe she may benefit from being reminded that her job is to enlighten her class with facts, not moral judgements. She may be a really good teacher that just gets overly involved in her students lives.

If you don't think she would listen to you, you can always skip her and go directly through the principle. That's what my mother did once with a teacher that picked on me. My mother found out that the woman was manic depressive and going through a very ugly divorce. The teacher was then asked to take a two week vacation. She came back and I was terrified she was going to be even harder on me. She asked me to stay after class and apologized to me. She asked if I wanted to be reassigned to a new teacher. (I said yes, of course.)

Sorry this is so long... I think it's important that you look out for the best interest of your son. ;)

[Myst]

I can imagine how upset you are! The comment on his music - well that's deplorable. How *dare* she tell him that he's wrong for listening to music his own mom okay'd. Let alone the rest. I'd definitely speak to her, write a note, or just remove him from the class.

[yemayasdaughter]

If it was me... I would most likely put a brick through her car window... (sorry-- that Brooklyn Black girl Syndrome is no joke!!) ;)

Seriously, I would make a complaint about that teacher. Imho, the music complaint is petty comparted to her impropriety talking about your ex to your son like that.. She seems tactless.

But since this is a music column.. let me add this. People have be blaming music for the downfall of civilization ever since man realized a certain drum beat makes ya shake and shimmy!!

Caveman #1: Ever since Drakdok started drumming, the dinosaurs have been attacking more frequently!!

Caveman #2: Yes, me must put an end to that music!!!

:rotfl:

[MammaStar]

Thanks for all your posts! I was talking this over again with Eshallet last night. Everything about this woman, the Dad crack, the Yule thing (see Pagan Family) & now the music crack. She IS a good teacher, she's motivated my son in ways I couldn't imagine. She's just over opinanated it seems. I've always, well, had a "feeling" about her. I used to see her around school before my son got to the 4th grade, & I always got the vibe that she thought she was always "better" than everyone else. When I realized it was her for my son's teacher I just groaned (not if front of him of course). His dad assured me it'd be all right, but I haven't told him all the comments she made. I don't want to get his wife upset.

I told a friend of mine who I met in the Best buy today (shopping for X-mas presents on the 23rd, will i ever learn :rolleyes: ) & he said that she should mind her own business. So, I think, and this could change over the break, I'm going to compose a note & send it to her. Definitely about the music crack, still out on the Yule thing. I'm very much closeted here & I'm not sure if I'm ready to come out to the likes of this woman.

Thanks again! :D

[Haedis]

Well sheesh! I though EVERYONE knew rock music is advocating devil worship among todays youth! *dripping with sarcasm*

[Siren]

:rotfl:

[MammaStar]

So that's why this guy :devil: won't leave! It's the rock music! :lol: :rotfl: :rotfl:

[Haedis]

and shame on you! Godsmack? they even have a pentagram on their cd booklet! Ya know, i heard somewhere that they were....WICCAN! *gasp* hehehe

[MammaStar]

THEY ARE!!!!!! *wide eyed stare here* *GASP*. Better go burn the CD's then! :lol: :lol:

I'm going straight to hell on that one!

*said with really bad Gomer voice*

:rotfl:

[Shadowulfe]

:rotfl:@LdyStarlite

[mol]

Tell her to piss off.

My son loves Godsmack!

[LilydePlume]

of writing a note is excellent. I would begin by telling her the positives you have noted, and then say but these are the concerns I have. I especially like the professional boundaries issue , and dont let her get away with the " you need to lighten up " response Or the other even better "I didnt mean anything by it" or "YOU took it the wrong way " Classic backpedaling , but the issue of the music is of concern, because your child has the right to have his own musical tastes and directions , and not have her impose hers on him.
BB
LP

[Myst]

Originally posted by mol
Tell her to piss off.

That's the IT answer.

That or STFU and RTFM. :D

[lucidfire]

yeah, I just love it how people try to make the effect sound like it's the cause. The heavy metal may echo some strife but it's sure as heck not the cause of it. People need music they can relate to, however harsh it may be

[MammaStar]

The note has been written and I will be dropping it off on Wed. when my son goes back to school. Mol, I used your family as an example. Hope you don't mind. "A friend of mine has a son younger than mine. They bought him Godsmack when he was 4 and his father is a HUGE Ozzy Osbourne fan." That's a quote from the note. Had to throw in an example besides my own family. LOL

[MetalliKat05]

^^What's the worry? What can she do about your religion? Use your son against you? Slap that silly woman...

Anyway, about the music...

I've been listening to hard rock since I was 14 (I'm 20 now) and I find that it has made me better in all aspects, at least to myself. If I didn't love music, I wouldn't be playing bass, and I wouldn't have the few opportunities that I do because of that. And to reiterate a point... Who is she, really, to tell your son what he can and cannot listen to? I don't get the mentality of these people... My 9th grade English teacher treated me and the 1 other person in the class who listened to rock (She did at the time...Grr...) very poorly and with contempt... Not because we were bad, mind you, but because we liked Metallica, Korn, etc. It was ridiculous... And my grades in that class suffered.... She hated Heavy Metal... how obvious... and to top it off, she made rude comments about black people, and tried to tell my own mother at a conference what was best for me... and my Mom wasn't having that!

Anyway...Music defines who you are, but it doesn't decide how you'll end up...That all depends on your environment and how you are raised, and from what I can tell, you're an excellent mother.

[Aidron]

Few teachers teach and remain unbiased. I've had a few that for example, would said in a world civilizations class:

"There are two types of theories on the creation of the universe, and thus man. Creationism and evolution. Now, I don't care which you believe, nor will I discuss my own beliefs as it is not relevant. What I want you to understand though is the difference between the two and how they work."

Now, just to give her more credit, she is a Christian, and very much a creationist, but was the sweetest woman ever. Sadly, few posess her open mindedness and are willing to put their own beliefs aside for the sake of learning.

Music, while a valid topic of course in school, is based entirely upon opinion when it comes to taste. Music teachers and instructors should learn to instruct about various types of musics and keep their own preferences to themself. In fact, the same goes for all opinion related issues.

No one has any right to define what is right or wrong for another individual, plain and simple, and let me tell you should I ever adopt and have someone dictate to me what I am doing wrong with my child, I'm going to just run them over with my car. Go have your own kids and raise them as you wish, but keep your mouth shut about my child.

[MoonIsis]

heck with them...I say you blast some heavy metal right now and bang your head with your son. When i was 9 and 10 I was listening to Guns and Roses and Metallica. So Nah!

Hey, at least with Heavy Metal, they acutally PLAY INSTRUMENTS! Rap musicians don't play instruments at all...and they call themselves musicians?

[MammaStar]

you guys are too funny. j-man is in the 6th grade now. :lol: and the teacher that I mention in this thread originally, was his 4th grade teacher. :p

Funny this got bumped up tho' his math teacher said to me yesterday "do you think this black metal (yep she called it that) is the best music he should listen to" i quickly ended that subject with her and went back to focusing on j-man's other issues with school. :lol:

[Chibi-Fallon]

I have no idea what it is but I've never even *heard* of a teacher around here go off on music. My English teacher last year thought my buddy was going to kill her, but that's because he wore a long black coat.
I was more afraid of his not bathing for months at a time, and not washing his hair :sick: but that's just me.
Most of our teachers if they know what kind of stuff we listen to are pretty cool about it (my AP Chem teachers borrows our CDs all the time :lol: ). And in elementary school... it never really came up. I don't think my teachers knew or cared what we listened to.

And Raven WindSong's story reminded me of my first day of Pre-Ap Bio in 9th grade when the teacher said: "And if you believe in creationism... that's nice. No one cares."

[She-Arna]

Ok, music doesn;t cause violence. People cause violence and it has nothgin to do with what kind of music they do or don't listen to. your son's teacher had no right to say that.

[Aidron]

you guys are too funny. j-man is in the 6th grade now. :lol: and the teacher that I mention in this thread originally, was his 4th grade teacher. :p

Funny this got bumped up tho' his math teacher said to me yesterday "do you think this black metal (yep she called it that) is the best music he should listen to" i quickly ended that subject with her and went back to focusing on j-man's other issues with school. :lol:


:rotfl: That is absolutely hysterical.

Anyone who bumps up a thread this old should have their eyelashes removed with a pair of tweezers, shame on you people! :lol: :p

[MammaStar]

*snort* :lol: :rotfl: :lol:

*bump*

*pluck* OW! *pluck* OW!

:rotfl: :lol: :rotfl: