Dealing with angry people/situations and excess energy?

[AutumnRain]

Hi all, was just wondering if you may be able to help out with a problem I keep having: When I'm around people who are frustrated/angry or upset, I often end up feeling the same as them, after a short period of time (which I have now come to regard as normal!) But also, after these occasions, I feel that I have 'excess' energy at night-time - causing me to have restless, and often sleepless nights. I've tried using a shield, for when I'm around a people who are feeling angry, but it doesn't seem to do the trick - is there anything else I could try?

Thanks guys! :hugz:

Love and Light,
Autumn

[Inward Visionary]

Same problem here. I think of it like this. At night time when I have all this energy is when most people I know are sleeping, or lounging around not needing energy, therefore I'm working off my own energy. I can get a full night's rest, wake up and be tired and dragging all day long sometimes, not sleep or get a little nap, and then be high and energetic and creative all night and not sleep until early morning.

As far as what to do about it... well if I can, I avoid the angry/frustrated people and situations as much as possible. I take time to meditate and ground all the energy that has latched onto me, or to get some positive energy back. There doesn't seem to be an easy answer for it, I wish I had a little on/off switch. Maybe I do... but haven't found it or how to use it yet. The best thing for me is to just meditate and get back to myself. :)

[AutumnRain]

Some very good points there, hun. Thank you for sharing your own experiences with this - I'm glad I'm not alone! :hugz:

I do have a problem with avoiding the situations, usually, as I live in a pub - so the weekends when it is busiest are a nightmare! Plus, this time of year brings about joy, but at the same time, more people arguing due to excessive drinking.

My daily routine as it stands, is that I meditate in the morning to ground myself, so that I'm as fresh and alert as possible for the day ahead. Perhaps I will try to turn this around though, so I meditate later on in the evening - that way reducing the build-up of energy that is keeping me awake.

Thanks for the help hun, some very good suggestions there. :)

[CzechWoods]

Some very good points there, hun. Thank you for sharing your own experiences with this - I'm glad I'm not alone! :hugz:

I do have a problem with avoiding the situations, usually, as I live in a pub - so the weekends when it is busiest are a nightmare! Plus, this time of year brings about joy, but at the same time, more people arguing due to excessive drinking.

My daily routine as it stands, is that I meditate in the morning to ground myself, so that I'm as fresh and alert as possible for the day ahead. Perhaps I will try to turn this around though, so I meditate later on in the evening - that way reducing the build-up of energy that is keeping me awake.

Thanks for the help hun, some very good suggestions there. :)


you need to lear to watch such a situation without getting involved. look at it like a doctor. or like a guest in the movies. just watch the scene. it isnt there to cause an echo inside you.

you are not there to become the garbage bin for people. they should be solving their problems by themselves. stop stepping in their shoes. give advice but dont expect them to follow it. if tehy chose not to, tell them with a heartfelt shrug that theny ouc annot help them

dont feel guilty

stop eating other peoples problems.

this will help you tremendously to improve your own situation

[Pesha]

Remember, being an empath makes you open if you are not careful to absorbing too much negativity. You must learn to sheild and release as you can become ill from keeping it inside you. And as CW said you are not the worlds garbage can. You can learn to back away from negatives when you feel them flowing. And you must learn to sheild so you can go about safely. Being an empath intails much. We are here to learn and help each other hun.

BB
DS.

[Raintreewolf]

I'm not very good with this one myself. I tend to shield myself so that some of my own ( at times ) anger issues do not effect another...Some people are intense and whatever they feel they feel passionately. Yeah, self protection and refusing to get sucked into someone else's crap really helps you as the empath.

If I might suggest: knowing more about anger in general might help. Anger is not always that negative and it can be used for psychological breakthroughs, it can be a motivator as well. Sometimes it is a step that gets one closer to the actual situation they need to change. If you can find the root of the issue you might be able to help them turn it to, " positive" means. Anger will also be what is covering deep hurt and if the person can not yet face the hurt for what it is, they will rail and get angry. I'm not saying that anger is all that healthy or anything but it does seem healthier than holding it in.

I think if you refuse to jump on the band wagon and rail with them....keep your center and try to look beyond the face of anger and listen from...say, a higher self perspective you might be able to aid with wisdom and insight and you will rest very easy when you go to sleep and you have more patients and interest in still dealing with your angry friend or who-ever it is. Though, do not over indulge it...I think at some point there needs to be an insistence for them to begin to move on and out of the seat of anger. A stranger is harder though, to deal with....just leave it and try to move away from it if possible.

I'm not sure if that helps at all.....
Just some of my thoughts and techniques I use. I tend to be less bothered by someone else's anger because I know my own anger issues fairly well.

Oh, and joking or getting them to release their energy through laugh or crying, will help break up the anger. If it is appropriate...I get my angry friend to take deep breaths and sigh....have them slap their belly and then do fake laugh therapy...which usually ends in genuine laugh because you both sound pretty funny doing loud fake laughs. This changes the energy and you can communicate then on another level of the issue that is creating anger for them. If it is not the right time or place for the above because it is just tooooo intense...then make and excuse to leave and try to do those techniques with just yourself....it should break up the negativity for you pretty well, then get to some cold water and imagine you are at a clean clear refreshing spring somewhere and you are taking in the healing waters....you should be set after that and can move yourself on at least.

[Sun Sprite]

I know anger is a tough one for me.
When I was growing up, any and every (even happiness) emotion my mother ever flet turned into anger, and I mean deathly anger until she had broken something or someone. I learned young to run whenever she started to show any kind of emotion.

Needless to say, even know, I stay away from people showing emotions, and don't trust them when they are. I haven't been around her for 14 years, and it is still scary to be around anyone showing emotion. Glad hubby is not emotional!

[AutumnRain]

you need to lear to watch such a situation without getting involved. look at it like a doctor. or like a guest in the movies. just watch the scene. it isnt there to cause an echo inside you.


That seems an excellent way of dealing with this! Almost like 'distancing' myself from the situation. Thanks CW. :hugz:


you are not there to become the garbage bin for people. they should be solving their problems by themselves. stop stepping in their shoes. give advice but dont expect them to follow it. if tehy chose not to, tell them with a heartfelt shrug that theny ouc annot help them


This, I learned long ago! I only try and help those who ask for it. I never get involved if I'm not asked because as harsh as it may sound, I don't want the excess energy that I get from those situations.

My problems seem to arise when the pub is over-crowded, as there's always lots of mixed emotions flying around, right through from joy to anger. All of them seem to have their effect on me, not just the anger. So I end up feeling very confused myself!



Remember, being an empath makes you open if you are not careful to absorbing too much negativity. You must learn to sheild and release as you can become ill from keeping it inside you.

I have tried shielding, especially at the weekends when I know that the pub will be busy. It usually helps, in the situations where there are a lot of negative emotions, but at the end of the day when I go to sleep, it all seems to 'creep' up on me - as if I'm experienceing the whole night's emotions in one hit! Does anyone else experience this? I'm sure it never used to happen this way - I can't quite pinpoint when it started to overwhelm me.

Raintreewolf, that is an excellent idea hun. I do try and use laughter to reduce the negativity from a friend if they're feeling frustrated, upset or angry. Like you say hun, that allows me to be able to at least be able to move on, myself.

Thank you all, very much. :) You've given me a lot to be thinking about! You guys are fab. :hugz:

Love and Light,
Autumn

[CzechWoods]

That seems an excellent way of dealing with this! Almost like 'distancing' myself from the situation. Thanks CW. :hugz:



This, I learned long ago! I only try and help those who ask for it. I never get involved if I'm not asked because as harsh as it may sound, I don't want the excess energy that I get from those situations.

My problems seem to arise when the pub is over-crowded, as there's always lots of mixed emotions flying around, right through from joy to anger. All of them seem to have their effect on me, not just the anger. So I end up feeling very confused myself!




I have tried shielding, especially at the weekends when I know that the pub will be busy. It usually helps, in the situations where there are a lot of negative emotions, but at the end of the day when I go to sleep, it all seems to 'creep' up on me - as if I'm experienceing the whole night's emotions in one hit! Does anyone else experience this? I'm sure it never used to happen this way - I can't quite pinpoint when it started to overwhelm me.

Raintreewolf, that is an excellent idea hun. I do try and use laughter to reduce the negativity from a friend if they're feeling frustrated, upset or angry. Like you say hun, that allows me to be able to at least be able to move on, myself.

Thank you all, very much. :) You've given me a lot to be thinking about! You guys are fab. :hugz:

Love and Light,
Autumn


i misunderstood your situation. good you explained it again, for the dork i can be at times *giggles*

anyway, i believe that you are desperately in need of agate. i would rcommend an agate combination for you to wear at work. either in amedicine pouch aroudn your neck or in your pockets.

take natural agate, best from brazil
take white agate aka peace agate
take blue dyed or green dyed agate (brazil)
take banded agate with grey + apricot colour from botswana

additionally work with serpentine: either precious/noble serpentine aka *new jade*
or
chytha, the south-american serpentine

the agates will help you ground the overflkow of energy from the different chakras and protect them from further overflow in teh future
the botswana agate will help you articulate what you need to say, and to be ok with has not to be spoken out loud
the peace agate will provide you inner and outer peace and promote the letting go mentality, the becoming of a spectator rather than an involver
the dyed agates will either help block your empathy in its organ the third eye or the heart - depending where it is pulling from in the first place. if it is more a head thing, choose blue - if it is more a felt thing, choose green
the natural brazilian agate will provide the grounding of energy through your root chakra, kind of grounding all surplus, so you wont have to "walk in sleep in your bed" anymore to get rid of all the energy that cumulates in you

the serpentine finally will help to detox yoiur body from outer energies and their stressingf effects.

the precious (new jade) serpentine, will help you detox and stay flexible; the chytha will strengthen love and self love and detox, while giving you a postitive mental attitude (no pink glasses tho, mind you). i d rather workl with latter stone in your case as a 5th stone for your pouch, tho

more info on the stones here:
agate
http://de.msnusers.com/czechwoodsgems/agateachat.msnw

botswana agate
http://de.msnusers.com/czechwoodsgems/agate3achat3botswana.msnw

dyed agate look for green and blue variety
http://de.msnusers.com/czechwoodsgems/agate2dyedachat2.msnw

peace agate
http://de.msnusers.com/czechwoodsgems/achatagate5weisswhite.msnw

serpentines: chytha and precious serpentine/new jade
http://de.msnusers.com/czechwoodsgems/serpentine.msnw

[Kaliel]

In terms of the on/off switch, with empathy there isn't one!

The most you can do is control the tide and learn how to control the energy rather than allow it to affect you.

I've learned some techniques that help me to not let the energy hit me personally when I am reading someone, and it works very well. What I do is I try to cleanse the energy right after I read, and of course, cut all the links from the people I've seen as to not allow it to affect my next reading.

Try carrying around a simple polished stone in your pocket and when you feel the emotions coming on, grasp the stone with the hand you write with, or your dominant hand, and imagine the energy being drawn into the stone.
From the stone it'll go back to the Earth so no worries there.

Hope that helps!

[Tanemon]

I practiced yoga meditation for a lot of years, and I have found it good for centering myself, refreshing, etc. This was especially the case if I had been in a bad human situation, with a lot of turbulence. Especially if someone had directly expressed anger toward me.

I also did some processes toward increasing my ability to confront difficult situations, and studied communication skills ("I-messages"). And these things helped.

It was when I got attuned to Reiki that a lot of old, negative (and deeply buried) feelings inside of me disintegrated or melted away. I've found, in the five years since that point, that I'm far less vulnerable to other people's expressions of strong and/or negative emotions.

Some of the negative things inside myself were clearly the "stuffing away" of sadness, frustration, shame, and disappointment from various situations in my childhood and adolescent life. Some of it, I'm sure was the direct outcome of fear and pain resulting from aggression and violence perpetrated toward me. All of that stuff left me a bit tender, deep down.

I can't say if the Reiki attunements are therapeutic in this way for most people who get them, but I have talked with several people who said they definitely experienced the same thing I did.

For what it's worth...

:sunny: Tanemon

[Pesha]

Alot of people I have spoken to also say Reiki is so good for the banishing of negativity. I have been encouraged to go and begin to study and have myself attuned. But I am too hesitent at this time. not altogether sure of it.
BB
DS.

[AutumnRain]

i misunderstood your situation. good you explained it again, for the dork i can be at times *giggles*

anyway, i believe that you are desperately in need of agate. i would rcommend an agate combination for you to wear at work. either in amedicine pouch aroudn your neck or in your pockets.


Don't worry about it hun - I don't think I was initially as clear as I could/should have been. :hugz: Thank you very much for the info on the stones, and the links - I had a read through them all last night, and think I'll try using a few in a pouch as you suggest. I like Kaliel's idea of holding the stone when I'm in a particular situation, and feeling the negative energies flow back into it.

Some of the negative things inside myself were clearly the "stuffing away" of sadness, frustration, shame, and disappointment from various situations in my childhood and adolescent life. Some of it, I'm sure was the direct outcome of fear and pain resulting from aggression and violence perpetrated toward me. All of that stuff left me a bit tender, deep down.

Tanemon, this is pretty much how I used to feel, until I met a very special person here on MW who actually takes the time to listen when I'm feeling this way. It's sort of an outlet, and works to reduce the 'built-up' emotions.

Tanemon and DragonSinger, I've been looking through basic information on Reiki for the past couple of weeks, as someone else suggested this to me also. From what I've read, it seems like a good option for me - I just need something to help reduce the physical/emotional exhaustion from all of this!

Thank you all very much for the kind, helpful responses. You guys are just wonderful. :hugz: Even letting this all out - in admitting that I'm struggling to cope with this is helping immensly.

Love and Light,
Autumn

[wyldwolf]

I just came across this thread and wow, does it describe me! I work with terminally ill patients and the negativity is overwhelming at times. I too, try to get them to laugh as much as possible. It seems to creep up on me as well. When I'm in the situation, I can deal with it, but at night, sometimes the energy is very oppressive. I have learned to meditate before I go to sleep, but it doesn't always work. I wake up, more often than not, feeling as though I haven't gotten a wink of sleep. The energies that I pick up, weigh me down so much. I still haven't found a way to get around feeling so tired and dragged out so much. I do like being and empath, but I just wish that I could control it a bit more. I want to be able to use this gift for good, but how can I if I'm always tired? I wish there were on and off switch as well, or just a better way to control it.

[Kaliel]

You're very welcome Autumn, as always, we're here for you!

[CzechWoods]

I just came across this thread and wow, does it describe me! I work with terminally ill patients and the negativity is overwhelming at times. I too, try to get them to laugh as much as possible. It seems to creep up on me as well. When I'm in the situation, I can deal with it, but at night, sometimes the energy is very oppressive. I have learned to meditate before I go to sleep, but it doesn't always work. I wake up, more often than not, feeling as though I haven't gotten a wink of sleep. The energies that I pick up, weigh me down so much. I still haven't found a way to get around feeling so tired and dragged out so much. I do like being and empath, but I just wish that I could control it a bit more. I want to be able to use this gift for good, but how can I if I'm always tired? I wish there were on and off switch as well, or just a better way to control it.


you desperetely need to use, double terminated, natural rough black tourmaline.

considerable size.

[Pesha]

I need to clarify, I am not in favour of Reiki, but have looked into it and am not sure it is what I need.

CW is very wise in suggesting black tourmaline. I have some coming to me. I also love to use citrine because it has a great banishing effect and deflects negatives.

Being an empath is a great gift. Sometimes it can weigh you down, but in the end you see how wonderful this is. As much as I have dealt with using my empathy, even bad episodes do not make me feel wrong for being what I was born to be.

BB
DS.

[Raintreewolf]

I know anger is a tough one for me.
When I was growing up, any and every (even happiness) emotion my mother ever flet turned into anger, and I mean deathly anger until she had broken something or someone. I learned young to run whenever she started to show any kind of emotion.

Needless to say, even know, I stay away from people showing emotions, and don't trust them when they are. I haven't been around her for 14 years, and it is still scary to be around anyone showing emotion. Glad hubby is not emotional!

Well, your mother sounds like she was mentally ill and not just dealing with anger issues that are normal to most people. Anger is a natural human component and learning about it so that it does not rule the life but one can actually use it constructively is something that many will embark on to learn about as a human.

Your mother really had issues it sounds like and maybe Bi-polar. I can only imagine that had to of been really super tough while growing up. It is probably for the best you have not seen her 14 years, sometimes, just breaking off from the situation is best. ((((Sun Sprite))))

[Xerenity]

AutumRain have you hear of mundras? If not they are small charka points in your fingertips as best to describe them. The mundra to "ground" yourself anywhere is just touch your thumb and forefinger on one hand but do both hands together for a few seconds to a minute whenever you feel the need. I have been doing this for a few months and other's angry doesn't affect me as much.
Since you work in a pub are you able to stop occassionally and listen to the music. Sometimes allowing the beat of the bass or drums coming to you helps your energy absorb and disapate the negative from you into nothingness.
Also the music will balance you if something or someone has unbalanced your state of being.

Sorry sometimes words to explain are difficult, it is easier to show then tell.

[AutumnRain]

Thanks, Xerenity. I hadn't heard of them before, but did a quick search for mundras, and came up with the site below, which has a picture of what you are describing.

http://www.onmarkproductions.com/html/mudra-japan.shtml

I'll try this over the next few weeks and see how I get on! :hugz:

As you suggest, when it's quieter in the pub, I do stop to listen to the music, as I find it easy to almost 'dissolve' into it, which really helps. However, at the weekends and at this time of year, especially, there are that many people in the pub that it's difficult to hear any music whatsoever!

Love and Light,
Autumn

[Xerenity]

Glad to be of help. If you can't hear the music on the weekend, little trick is try to remember a song you like and keep playing it in your head. Don't know why but it helps also.

[Xerenity]

http://www.eclecticenergies.com/chakras/chakratest.php, Sorry I borrowed this link from another thread on site. eclectic energies has more information on Mundras and how to use them. It is different then the link you found Autumn Rain. I hope it helps also.
Enjoy the process of learning. It enriches all of our lives.

[~*Ginger*~]

hmmm...
Well, this just shows to me, that I should have come in here more often.

thanks for posting here ya'll, it has helped.

Dealing with angry people, and situations is not so easy.
Especially, when your the type, that has a tenancy to mirror them, once you've tried other means & gotten no where near being able to have them understand just exactly what you mean, of how you see things.
Most of the time, they use it against you, cause they don't like looking at themselves in mirror image. It's sorta like a vaccum for them, I can only suppose, it feeds them, in a way.

What would be the best way to deal with a situation, that gets off on being close minded, and feeds off a mirroring (back to them), from someone else?

[Xerenity]

Simple answer Ginger would be to ground and shield.
I did Say simple, but you have to break the mirror reflection or connection in order to dirupt the flow of the negativity.

[Pesha]

Gounding and sheilding. Keeping a peaceful inner core. I have been having to do that the past few days as I have been encountering some heavy negative emotions. I hate having to feel like I am wrapped in cotton some days. But it has to be that way.

[Lunacie]

hmmm...
Well, this just shows to me, that I should have come in here more often.

thanks for posting here ya'll, it has helped.

Dealing with angry people, and situations is not so easy.
Especially, when your the type, that has a tenancy to mirror them, once you've tried other means & gotten no where near being able to have them understand just exactly what you mean, of how you see things.
Most of the time, they use it against you, cause they don't like looking at themselves in mirror image. It's sorta like a vaccum for them, I can only suppose, it feeds them, in a way.

What would be the best way to deal with a situation, that gets off on being close minded, and feeds off a mirroring (back to them), from someone else?


Someone here suggested when you feel incoming negative energies to change them into positive energies and send those back in the form of love energy to the person. They may not accept the love energy, they may change it back into nasty energy, but it should leave the Empath feeling better, eh? I really haven't been around anyone who was broadcasting nasty energy to try this out but it sounds like a good idea to me.

[~*Ginger*~]

Thank you, Xerenity, Dragonsinger & Lunacie.

Someone here suggested when you feel incoming negative energies to change them into positive energies and send those back in the form of love energy to the person. They may not accept the love energy, they may change it back into nasty energy, but it should leave the Empath feeling better, eh? I really haven't been around anyone who was broadcasting nasty energy to try this out but it sounds like a good idea to me.

I did, still am, always will...

Interestingly enough, there's been all sorts of really nice things coming to me, since then.

I won a new tarot deck, just recently, autographed even.

A new set of representations of the God & Goddess, for my altar. Statues, so beautiful.

Other things, that just help me feel better about the whole thing.
Wonderful stuff!

[Lorrie]

I will add my two cents to everyone else's, there is NO one way to do this. Every person is different and will use different methods, the best thing is to read them all, find what sounds like it might work for you, and try it, keep trying until you can find what works which may mean a little of this persons method mixed with a little of that one. This takes time, but it is a long- term solution.
One thing I am experimenting with, is when I notice that I have someone else's garbage, stop, notice it, make it a "color" in your mind. Then change the color to maybe blue for peaceful or something to make it a positive energy, then send it back to the person it came from, even if you don't know who it came from just return it.
Another experiment is when I am about to go into somewhere that I know will have a mix of strong emotions and moods like into the grocery store, as I lock my car doors with the keys in my hand, the "key" is to bring up soothing or peaceful, or whatever kind of light you like and surround yourself with it.If the color thing works well for you, it does me, then use that also. Keep sending it all around you as you move about, if you notice someone sending out alot of negative stuff send some of your energy to the person. This doesn't just help to shield, it helps to change the energy before you get hit with it!
Always remember after getting away from this energy no matter what you use, let your pretty color light cleanse your body, picture any bad energy that may have slipped through being pushed into the ground and out of you. It helps even more if you can take a few minutes to meditate after removing unwanted energy.
I am a beginner at working with these energies, so I am finding new experiments all of the time to try, and usually when I find a new one to try I will post it so that other people in the Bunker may try it also, as does everyone else here. It doesn't hurt to keep checking in here to see what is new, we are all striving to find ways to make being an empath less like a curse and more of a blessing. I hope that we all have given you some good ideas to make your own method from!:wave:

[Xerenity]

Thanks Lorrie, I will have to mention some of your methods to others I know.
Another method I have used with others is Stones to carry away their negativity. The stones usually volunteer and when filled are recharged in soil or under running water.
But as others have suggested, experiment until you find the right way for you to deal.

[Lunacie]

Thanks for bumping this post again. I am currently dealing with a situation where someone was rather defensive and took something I wrote as being offensive. I was certainly feeling their negativity about the situation and needed to change that energy and send it back as love.

[sweetfairy]

i tend to get very nervous and will avert my eyes a lot
i basicaly crawel into myself to get away
i also tend to be what i say a peace maker if i can
i do not like voilence. not to say that anger does not rub off on me.or even extreme sadness
i just do not relize it at the time and it affects me a lot.