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Sick and tired [Archive] - MysticWicks Online Pagan Community and Spiritual Sanctuary

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DreamSpell333
December 22nd, 2005, 10:26 PM
:rant:
Living with my mother in law has been fine, up until this past week or so.
My daughter is 3,and is at the age where she's into everything and at times is very hard to handle. She isnt always, theres times where she's loving and listens. Lately she's been very impatient,and it doesnt seem like yelling at her is helping things. Tonight my mother in law was making tea,and hannah wanted a few cookies.Mom had gotten them as a gift, and she told hannah to wait a minute and she'd give her a couple.hannah COULDNT wait,so she went to get some and half of the box fell on the floor.My mother in law screamed at the top of her lungs, " You just couldnt wait could you!?!!". Hannah went off running,crying..I went to see what happened,and was going to help mom clean them up,when she took the rest of the box,and threw it on the floor!.THAT pissed me off.She didnt have to take it that far,and i went and got hannah and shut my door/locked it. She came and told me that i didnt have to lock the door,and i told her that i thought she just took it too far,and i dont think yelling at hannah all the time is nessacary, because it's not helping or even working. I've noticed that sometimes talkign to her works, but what mom has to realize is she's still a kid,and learning. She yells at hannah MORE than I do,and im not going to stand for it any longer! IM her mother, and im not going to have my childs self esteem be shot down, but that doesnt mean, i dont scold her from time to time or send her to her room when she's done something really bad. This was merely an accident.She wants to do things on her own.My babys growing up,and i realize it, even though she's only 3. and i told mom,that it was an accident,and that im sure she didnt mean to do it . She's got to learn to CONTROL her temper. i DO and i used to have a bad temper,but i've learnt that it doesnt help the situation,and just makes me feel worse,than i already did.... I just hope we can still live with her,and not have to go through this ALL the time,because i WILL NOT sit and take it. :aburst:

Cassiopeia
December 22nd, 2005, 11:40 PM
You are right. You are the mother here. Setting boundries for your mother-in-law will also help you to learn how to set and enforce boundries for your child. I am just learning now how important boundries are and my kids are almost grown.

The most important thing is for you not to get sucked into doing a parenting style you don't agree with. If you don't like yelling then don't do it and don't let your mother-in-law do it. I can't stand yelling. It makes things seem way out of control and it frightens me even if I am the one yelling.

I wish you all the best.

DreamSpell333
December 23rd, 2005, 12:09 AM
Thanks :) I have yelled at her before,but the more i have to yell,the more it makes me feel mad/bad. Just kneeling to her level and talking to her has worked. I just hate the way i feel when i have to yell. Time out sometimes works,or raising my voice, but screaming at the top of your lungs is not the way to do it,and thats exactly how my Mother in law reacted. I know she's on anti depressants, but shouldnt those help her?? I just feel we need to not yell as much and aproach disapline alittle diffently... I want us to get along her,but i also dont want my daughter to have to be yelled at constantly if we dont have to. I want her to be a happy 3 year old. Im just putting my foot down,especially before i have this new baby. Im not getting pushed around or told what to do..

Ceres
December 23rd, 2005, 07:47 AM
I agree you are the mother and its yours to say.