Monster in law is an understatement!

[MelMullooly]

I have been with my S.O for 11 years. We got married this yr (don't remember much of anything but I have the paper to prove it) in Las Vegas. Anyway I love him sooo much, He loves me sooo much. The problem is were in a love triangle me,him,and his mother. It wasnt always like this! When she was married to Joes dad she was cool. Better then cool she was the sweet make cookies,crochet afghans kind of mom. In fact I remember thinking she would be the perfect grandma when we have kids. Then came the divorce. Joe & I had been together 7 yrs at this point. Living on our own no problems, no fights no butting into our affairs. This woman who was the sweet like Marth Stewart crossed with Mrs. Brady overnight became a heroin and crack addicted alcoholic (well okay not overnight but within 6 mths). Then she started Joe on it then of course stupid me monkey see monkey do! Needless to say after 3 stints in rehab and currently in the methadone outpatient treatment program, I have been clean for 9mths, Joe 3. I caught her today going through my purse for $$$$! Joseph and I have just purchased our first home and we move in on Friday. It only has 4 rooms. He tells me today his mom is moving in with us and she doesnt have to pay anything. No she didnt pay for Joes raising either he paid his parents since he was 2 with $600 of SSI a month. This woman is ruining us! She's going through her 2nd divorce did I mention that? She wasn't even married a yr and her husband found out she lied the entire time and stole $20,000 from him for her drugs. He doesn't do drugs and is very against them. I can't do it! I'v tried helping her, she gotta help herself, I tried talking to her she twist my words to make me look like the bad guy!! So finally today I called my mom and a divorce lawyer. I then gave Joe an ultimatium me or her. I cant stay clean with her around! I told him since my whole savings is stuck in this house we'll be roomates. Him and mommy dearest can share the bedroom I'll sleep in my office! I don't wanna lose him and if he continues to let her manipulate him I know he'll soon be dead by O.D please help anyone!!!_inabox_

[Earthy]

Oh goodness, i really don't know what to say..i've never been in the situation you're in.
But i think it's a brave decision that you would rather split with your husband than go back to drugs, that shows what a strong woman you are.
Otherwise all i can offer are :hugz: and that i will keep this situation in my prayers.

['Lara Shadowstalker]

keep us posted on his response, hun. and try again to make him see that having her around would be disastrous for your relationship.

[BrigidMoon]

Well there will be a time when an understanding must be met. I am just not sure who, what, where and when.

:hugz:

Please keep us posted!

[HetHert]

I have been with my S.O for 11 years. We got married this yr (don't remember much of anything but I have the paper to prove it) in Las Vegas. Anyway I love him sooo much, He loves me sooo much. The problem is were in a love triangle me,him,and his mother. It wasnt always like this! When she was married to Joes dad she was cool. Better then cool she was the sweet make cookies,crochet afghans kind of mom. In fact I remember thinking she would be the perfect grandma when we have kids. Then came the divorce. Joe & I had been together 7 yrs at this point. Living on our own no problems, no fights no butting into our affairs. This woman who was the sweet like Marth Stewart crossed with Mrs. Brady overnight became a heroin and crack addicted alcoholic (well okay not overnight but within 6 mths). Then she started Joe on it then of course stupid me monkey see monkey do! Needless to say after 3 stints in rehab and currently in the methadone outpatient treatment program, I have been clean for 9mths, Joe 3. I caught her today going through my purse for $$$$! Joseph and I have just purchased our first home and we move in on Friday. It only has 4 rooms. He tells me today his mom is moving in with us and she doesnt have to pay anything. No she didnt pay for Joes raising either he paid his parents since he was 2 with $600 of SSI a month. This woman is ruining us! She's going through her 2nd divorce did I mention that? She wasn't even married a yr and her husband found out she lied the entire time and stole $20,000 from him for her drugs. He doesn't do drugs and is very against them. I can't do it! I'v tried helping her, she gotta help herself, I tried talking to her she twist my words to make me look like the bad guy!! So finally today I called my mom and a divorce lawyer. I then gave Joe an ultimatium me or her. I cant stay clean with her around! I told him since my whole savings is stuck in this house we'll be roomates. Him and mommy dearest can share the bedroom I'll sleep in my office! I don't wanna lose him and if he continues to let her manipulate him I know he'll soon be dead by O.D please help anyone!!!_inabox_

I can empathize AND sympathize. I feel your pain and it invokes both anger and sorrow because your doing the right thing and unfortunately there is no way for the right thing not to hurt. Even though its tough to put up that ultimatum there really is no other way around or through this. Those are two of the worst substances aside from Meth or speed that I can say will deteriorate a persons soul and give a person cause to make all the wrong decisions. MelMollooly be strong, stay strong, and ever vigilant about what YOUR boundries are...please don't back down from what your willing to live with. If she isn't willing to stop and get help or even accept the kind of help that will help her clean up her life and Joe is not willing to make a stand with you than do make your stand alone and maintain the hope that one day (hopefully much much sooner than later) Joe will see the light and his mother for what she is. Hopefully he's not started going back down that old addiction road and has managed to stay ontrack.
I too struggle with the track of being clean from hard substances and it almost takes learning to hate the drug that caused the dependency and distancing yourself from the temptation until your strong enough to say no.
I don't necessarily think its a good idea to keep them in the house with you though...the temptation would be too close for me to stay on the wagon. Please don't allow their demons to reinhabit you.

:hugz: for strength and support. I do hope everything comes out exactly as you desire it. May you not have to loose your husband in this difficult time and process!

[BrigidMoon]

MelMullooly -- How is it going hon? I hope your new year is happy and hope your MIL backs off a bit.

[MelMullooly]

MelMullooly -- How is it going hon? I hope your new year is happy and hope your MIL backs off a bit.



I awoke yesterday to the telly ang joes on the other end and mommy dearest is screaming in the background. He was crying sayin get over to our house mel this loone *&$%^ is outta here. I know its his mom I told him not to talk 2 her like that. I would do it for him8O Any who I went over she is flippin sayin he changed he sais yes I got clean. Shes puttin him down yada yada yada she leaves. Joseph and I talk for 5 hrs yes 5 hrs, He wanted me to move in he just got the house we wanted but I refused to go cause he was lettin her stay free! She called and came back before I decided. I stayed w joe last night. Hes my husband! She was mad about that. In the morning when we were getting up 2 go for our meth appointments she came in and said 2 him I will leave unless you put my name on the deed (yeah right shes a crack head to shell sell it for a dub) and Melody isnt aloud here anymore. Keep in mind the deed is in Joes and my name thats the only way we could get a mortgage! Joe said no he wont do it. My freind drove today so as we were taking joe home his mom had her daughters jeep and was loading it:lol: :yikess: :blowcandl :santasmil :lookwhats :fpraise: :viking: :yayah: Yes oh the gods knocked my socks off baby wooohoo if shes gone then I will move in and this year has begun beautifully. Joe finally understands and told me his mom was bringin him down & she got a huge drug problem!

[Karissma]

im glad he realized what was more important to him hun. Good luck to you both.

[BrigidMoon]

I awoke yesterday to the telly ang joes on the other end and mommy dearest is screaming in the background. He was crying sayin get over to our house mel this loone *&$%^ is outta here. I know its his mom I told him not to talk 2 her like that. I would do it for him8O Any who I went over she is flippin sayin he changed he sais yes I got clean. Shes puttin him down yada yada yada she leaves. Joseph and I talk for 5 hrs yes 5 hrs, He wanted me to move in he just got the house we wanted but I refused to go cause he was lettin her stay free! She called and came back before I decided. I stayed w joe last night. Hes my husband! She was mad about that. In the morning when we were getting up 2 go for our meth appointments she came in and said 2 him I will leave unless you put my name on the deed (yeah right shes a crack head to shell sell it for a dub) and Melody isnt aloud here anymore. Keep in mind the deed is in Joes and my name thats the only way we could get a mortgage! Joe said no he wont do it. My freind drove today so as we were taking joe home his mom had her daughters jeep and was loading it:lol: :yikess: :blowcandl :santasmil :lookwhats :fpraise: :viking: :yayah: Yes oh the gods knocked my socks off baby wooohoo if shes gone then I will move in and this year has begun beautifully. Joe finally understands and told me his mom was bringin him down & she got a huge drug problem!

:hugz: