Pagan dating???

[mato]

Does being a pagan effect your social life?

[Kahlan]

I guess I am just one of thoughs people who looks at the person for who he is not waht he beleve in, religion wise, infact my boyfriend is an athist(spell?)! I just more or less think if you and the person click go for it (provided they are not with someone elese!):D

[Angelwulfe]

my fiancee and i are both pagan in fact we met at a pagan festival. i think it helps if both people are although i don't think it's that important. i can see can how it could get in the way of some relationships if one person is really against it or scared of it.

[Myst]

Nope. Tho I have an ex who wouldn't let me talk about it. Operative word being ex. *shrugs*

[Flaire-FireStar]

Not really... Most people don't know about it, and I have a habit of not telling my friends a whole lot about myself. :)

[Arduinna]

Married to one :D

[Psyche Ague]

I'm dating a pagan/atheist and I have no problem with it. I think I would have huge troubles dating a christian, though. I just don't think I'd be too happy. My beliefs are something that I'd like to share with my partner. I think I'm shallow to think this way, but it's the way I am...I'm just not interested in christians, I guess.

[Twilight Garden]

I've dated many different types. Christian, Catholic, Pagan, Wiccan, Athiest... None really ended on bad terms except for one Wiccan guy. Most are still pretty (even very) good friends. My main requirement is that they are non-judgemental and open minded. I ended up married to someone who is very open minded. He is kind of blended in his beliefs, but mostly follows Shinto. I guess that could be considered Pagan.

[Raindancer]

I have to say that I'm dubious about mixed relationships when it comes to these things. The only way that I can see it was if there was mutual respect for the right of both to believe as they see fit. But mostly, I've seen relationships crumble under the strain of being too different.

I know someone, a witch, who is married to a Pentacostal. They must love each other, but the pentacostal loathes everything she stands for. They have nearly broken up several times, but as I said, they must really love each other because they stay together.

For me? I hope one day to find someone with whom I can share sacred space. I've been in mixed relationships already, and really don't want to be with someone with whom I can't connect with in a spiritual sense. I certainly don't want to find myself in the position of the well-known TV witches who have to stuff it down and hide it. Better to be alone than with someone who is wrong for me.
Blessed Be
Raindancer

[SnowStar]

well, I've been dating a guy for almost 7 months, we're pretty close, and it is a mixed relationship. After a couple of weeks we almost split because I offhandedly mentioned I was Pagan and he kinda freaked. It turned out he was a little unclear on what it meant anyway, however because of what he'd been brought up to believe, he has talked to me on 2 or 3 occasions trying to get me to convert (back) to Christianity. Being a tad bit disillusioned with organised religion, especially Christianity, I explained to him my situation, my beliefs, and that how and what I believe is both very important to me and a very important part of me. I reckon he's still a bit uneasy about it, he's told me on a couple occasions "Its just, I love you and I don't want you to go to hell." Noble and caring enough, I suppose, seeing as he feels that's one of the best things that he could do to illustrate that he cares. I think once we talked about it and I allowed him to leave a standing offer to come to him or his best friend if I "ever wanted to become a Christian" he's backed off a bit. He really is more or less accepting of my beliefs now, he's become a little more used to them. He's open minded, but when I first explained it all to him in a relatively bare-bones manner it sort of turned his whole world on end until he had time to sort it out.

I think that the confirmation that I needed that he finally accepted my beliefs was when I'd agreed to go with him to a Christmas eve candlelight service. I didn't tell him this, but I really was a little nervous, being that it was the first non-obligatory church service I'd gone to since I was 12. (In other words, wasn't going for a school thing or because my family made me.) When the time came for open communion, he whispered quietly asking if I was going up to take it. I shook my head, and I'm sure I must have been looking a little freaked out because to me it felt like a sort of confrontation (not from him, but just in general). He squeezed my hand and told me that he'd stay there with me so I wouldn't be alone when everyone around me went up to take communion. (ok, everyone can 'awwww!' now!)

So, I guess you could say that it doesn't matter to me if those I date are of the same beliefs as me, however it does matter that they're open-minded enough to accept how I believe in the same way as I accept how they believe. If they don't, it just won't work.

[Xander67]

respect for who I am, and spritual unity,
thats what I ask for,

acceptance, and soemone i can journey with

religion is irrelavant to me, its what she believes in her heart that matters most

[SilentWolf]

My fiancee had discovered Wicca together, so it was a quite pleasant change.

But I can see how it could affect people who are out dating. (Goddess, I pray I never have to be in that position again!)

Especially if you happen to meet someone who could be "IT" and then you find out they don't understand the pagan ways at all and think you're posessed by demons or some other Xian nonsense like that.

[Ball-Bhreac Ròn]

didn't even read any of the other posts (sorry guys :p) cos I didn't want my view to be corupted but no. so :nyah:

:p

[Xander67]

Twink,

You are the only one who can change your views,
unless someone else is controling your brain...

:) I dont think this is the case though

[StormChaser]

I've dated people of all religions, ethnicities and both genders... heh.. I call myself an equal opertunity lender.
But when it comes down to it, the best relationship I've had was with another witch. We had our differences.. he was more into Asatru and I involved with Welsh\Celtic Trad. (Blue Star).
But the spiritual connection was there.

I dated a Jahovas Witless *he thought that was the funniest thing* we got along great, though we wound up as just good friends. Just didn't keeo either interested and that definitely had to do with the complete lack of "spiritual" connection.

Dating someone of a different anything doesn't phase me. It's really how we interact, what we have in common, how we handle our differences that makes it or breaks it.

~Storm Chaser

[DreamSpell333]

My Fiancee and I both had difficulty with the christian religion. As a child, i never liked church, felt I was being dragged along, and theyed always send the children down stairs, gathering us all in a bunch so they could brain wash us lol (just a joke ) . since then,age of 9, I never went again. I've had some good and bad experiences with wicca/pagan religion. mainly good though. :)
I had an "ex" boyfriend, who used it in a bad way, mainly to frighten me . That is not the true meaning of wicca, i now know. I've had many good friends since,who have taught me alot, and helped me deal with the past.(my ex)
I met my fiancee and together we found something we both enjoy practicing.



their all so cute! I couldn't pick just one . So i adopted 3! :)
:ahhhh: :bubbles: :wave:

[Siren]

But, my ex...key word: ex...did not respect my religion at all....he basically put it down as much as possible...which i hated...i mean, i respected the fact that he did not believe in it...i didn't expect him to....but well, hey, EX!

anyway, i am dating a guy who is questionning everything...in a good way...trying to figure things out...and we have great talks about spirituality, and the such, not just paganism...so it's cool...and he respects my beliefs and things...it feels so much better....rather than be berated for my beliefs and being called a "satanist" which i am so way not!!!! :smoke: *evil grin*

[Xander67]

I would just like to find someone who can HEAR and does not give things a totally different meaning than what I was trying to say.......

im taking a break for a while.......

no more dating for a while!

[Siren]

...

[MammaStar]

doesn't phase me really. My "ex" (before Eshalet :)) was a total idiot! Okay, that's a bit harsh I know. But he did think I was absolutely insane for investigating Wicca/Paganism. Note: EX.

Eshalet, like me was raised Christian. I think he got a mix of Methodist & Catholic. I'm not really clear on it because he doesn't like to talk about Chruch at ALL. And I mean church, he doesn't mind religon. When we first met, he came to pick me up once & saw the bowl of milk I left of for the Fairy Folk. He asked what it was for and I told him. I was braced for a wise crack and he said. "Oh. That's nice". Every once in a while, he'll ask me something, or I'll bring up something and we talk about it. But it isn't a big deal. At least to us, right now. Heck, he joined MW (posted like 2x). He's very opened minded and we just both enjoy each other's company and have LOTS of other things in common.

[Pheonix]

I think that it isnot everything but it helps. My husband is the first pagan I was ever with and well obviously I married him!!

I have 2 friends, one who is intrested inlearning wicca and one who is a satanist. They are ingaged and I have never felt so sorry for a cgild as I do for theirs. Thy have decidd since they don't agree on religion not to ijnflunce their child anyway. Great idea but this has turned into the child leaving the dinner table a cristian homes when thy say grace, not being allowed to celebrate any form of christmas, not even Santa Clause and many more things that will always be moissing from her childhood. Also this is preventing my friend from practicing wicca since she has to take her child almost everywhere, but learning wicca with her child anywhere nar is going against their bargain.

All and all I say life is easier if you share at least similiar religions

Br5ightest Blessings,
Pheonix

[Sephiroth]

ppl judge me before they get to know me. so they stay away from me so i just have to find the right person to go out with a good hearted and open spirited person.

So far the find is 0 good 9 billion bad meanys:( :wah2: :wah2: :wah2: :wah2: :wah2: :wah2: :wah2: :wah2:

im very loveable but ppl hate me becuz im pagan.

[Haedis]

It does matter to me in the sense that I enjoy talking with people in person about religion, so if they are closed-minded that makes it difficult. As long as the person is respectful I dont mind what religion they are, but I would perfer someone who i could connect with on a spiritual level.

[Hedwig]

A few months ago, there was a guy I really wanted to go out with and when I finally got to talking to him, I found out he was a christian zealot. I still went out with him, but I hid my altar and took down my witches' calendar and didn't wear my pentacle and stuff like that. After about two weeks, I hated myself so much for it, I had to end it. I explained my beliefs to him and he left and I have never heard from him again.

What's really strange is that this morning I found out that the man I am seeing has been hiding his religion from me. Well, not hiding but definitely not mentioning. He knows I'm a witch because I met him at school and I have been very open about my beliefs there. Then this morning, he tells me he was at a lock-in at his church all night last night. I had no idea he even went to church. We've only been dating for a few weeks. He seemed to sort of mention in it passing but with a long pause after it. I felt like it was a test.

Since the last guy, I have been very weary of christians so I don't really know what to do with this one! ;) It's hard to live in West Virginia and not date people of other religions. It seems everyone one here it devoutly religious, christian, muslim, jewish, we got it all, but there aren't many male wiccans.

[mato]

Originally posted by Hedwig
Since the last guy, I have been very weary of christians so I don't really know what to do with this one! ;) .
Well I have a few suggestions :smoke:

[Raindancer]

Its like I was saying before, my hope is to find someone with whom I can stand in sacred space.. I don't want to hide my beliefs, tone them down, or whatever.

I have been with lots of people in my time, some with whom I've connected and some ,sadly, not. Being a witch, loving my Goddess and God is who I am. How can I really love someone with whom I can't share that?

I've had some near misses, a few I shouldn't have let get away, and been really stupid a few times, and next time, if there is a next time, I want someone to connect with all the way. Anything less seems like a waste of time and heart for me.

For a solo parent with very little opportunity for a social life, its triply hard, but the thought of being with someone who I can't be completely myself with, with whom I can't really share all of who I am, is even harder.

There are a few lady witches out here, but so far, no luck. Still, I think that holding out for someone special is worth it. I might not say so if I hadn't spent a lot of time with people that were in some measure, not right for me, but I'm weary of settling for less just to not be alone.

I want to be who I am, no apologies, no fear, no hiding, and maybe I won't find someone to walk with in this life, but better that than to walk with and be committed to someone wrong for me, just when the right person comes along. Been there, done that, don't want to do it again.

Blessings and Luck Hedwig
Raindancer

[yemayasdaughter]

Well since I havent dated in 3 years (its just been me and my B.O.B.) my being Pagan hasnt come into account

[odysseus]

Right now I'm dating someone from Jamaica, very nice man. The most I've ever had in common with anyone. He is very much into what I practice, as a matter-of-fact he claims that he summoned me. I dated some other men who acted like it was ok but when it came right down to it. There was too much scrutiny, it was very difficult to always feel like I had to keep things that secretive.

[odysseus]

Aren't you also devoutly religious?

[Myst]

My fiance is an atheist, tho he's also into Paganism now. He asks questions and does a few rituals with us, but he doesn't consider himself of the same religion as us at all. It doesn't make a difference because he still respects my beliefs and helps me when he can.

[Danustouch]

Religion does seem to affect who I date. The person does not have to have identical beliefs to mine, however, I would find dating someone who was completely closed off to my belief systems, or who was really uncomfortable with them, very difficult. I probably also wouldn't date someone who differed majorly from me on other issues, besides religion. Such as my stance on abortion, or my political beliefs. Why?

Well..I try to take the "What Ifs" into account.

When it comes to the religion thing..

What IF we had kids, would the person I dated feel comfortable with allowing my child to take part in my ceremonies, would he force my children to attend religious school, classes, take chatechism (sp), etc? That is a huge issue to me.

On abortion...

What if I got pregnant, and for whatever reason, decided I wasn't ready to have the child (which, is unlikely..but..what IF). I wouldn't want that to tear us apart.

On Political beliefs..Could I really stand sleeping next to someone, who thoroughly backed a political figure who was very contrary to all of my deepest held beliefs?

Anyway..luckily, My husband is much like me in many of his beliefs. Not all..but..we at least have some basic core beliefs in common. I think that is important.

[Pagecrd]

i wouldnt say that religion would affect who i date. a long time ago i decided that organized religion doesnt help me. i have been studying religion for some time now and i have learned that the only way to end the spiritual war is to believe my own beliefs and not let others try and shape me. I love and believe in God as the creator of man (and woman) and consider myself a good woman. But i dont judge others for their beliefs. I would have to say that any man who downed me for my beliefs or tried to change any aspect of who i am and what i want in life would be out the door. I am dating a wonderful man..when he told me he didnt believe in God i cried lol, but it never stopped me from being with him. neither of us push our beliefs. he respects my choices and instills the beliefs in my children that i want. Im leaving religion up to my kids of course. but i think that its important to teach them about many different religions and let them choose what they believe.

ok im getting off the subject here lol. i do that often. anyway no it wouldnt make a difference

[tempest69]

The more I sit here and read this thread, the more I have given it serious thought. I really don't keep a really close group of friends. I just sort of float in and out of groups as my moods predict(though I will attempt to help anyone, if I can.) Having said that, I realize that without this close-knit group, it becomes easier to go without telling them about my choice of religion.

[Pagecrd]

love the signature...but the donkey was annoying!

[StormChaser]

Originally posted by Pagecrd
love the signature...but the donkey was annoying!

WAS NOT!

Donkey was the true hero! If it weren't for him Shrek wouldn't have gone back to get fiona, and he wouldn't have gone to see Farquad either. If it weren't for Donkey and his girl Dragon, Farquad would still be standing short rather than in the belly of the Dragon, and Fiona and Shrek never would have been married.
Donkey Rules.

*shuts up*

Yeah.. pagan dating..
dating is dating. If it's good it's good, if it's great it's great, if it's bad, get out. People are people. If you click, if you can related, if you find someone who you can survive the weather of time with for whatever the type of relationship you seek, together.
People are inherantly people. Regardless of beliefs etc etc. It's all in how you relate.

[Myst]

Heroes can be annoying too ya know.

That said, you've made an excellent point. As far as I'm concerned religion is about as important in dating as your favourite sports team or political stance.

If you can handle someone who feels differently, you can. If you can't, well I guess then you don't get together. *shrugs*

[Muffin]

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeellllll heylo thur! i'm married 2 a fellow pagan but we're currently in the process of divorce so it wasnt really a good choice 4 me eh?!

[StormChaser]

Originally posted by Muffin
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeellllll heylo thur! i'm married 2 a fellow pagan but we're currently in the process of divorce so it wasnt really a good choice 4 me eh?!

My dad was pagan too.. but he wasn't gods gift to my mom either.

Religion doesn't make the man *or woman* There are jerks and losers of every shape size gender and color just as there are wondiferous people of the same.

[feywytch]

Married 7 years to Druid.

[Pagecrd]

i still hate that donkey!

[Raindancer]

That said, you've made an excellent point. As far as I'm concerned religion is about as important in dating as your favourite sports team or political stance.

Depends on how serious you are about your religion Maybe if one person says they are Christian but never go to church, or pay attention to it, and are not really tied to it Sort of in name only, Then it would likely not be important. If they are dyed in the wool and it means lots to them, and they are convinced you are going to hell unless you convert, it might get a little sticky. You can't generalise, because for some people, religion is that important. For some people, its only as i,portant as a sports team, and others, its their life.
Blessings Raindancer

[Ravens_Tears]

Originally posted by mato

Does being a pagan effect your social life?

It most certainly does.... Other people's belief's have never been an issue for me as long as they can show me the same respect for mine... However, reality is far from ideal. I have run into the "trying to save me from the dark side" crap.... and the amused tolerance. Or, the "I think I know what's real and/or best for you and that's just evil" attitudes. This is after I was quite clear of my beliefs and asked flat-out if it was a problem in the beginning and (of course) they say, no, no problem....

To answer the question, being pagan has affected my social life because of how I am perceived and subsequently treated because of my beliefs.

[AmbivalentMirage]

Oh my goodness, yes! I live in a mostly Christian area (name any denomination and I can direct you to a church for it in a nearby town, if not in my own), and it's not easy to find people of open minds to have a relationship with. I stay quiet about my witchiness unless I expect the relationship to go somewhere. It's better to tell than have the person find out. Like my ex who stumbled onto a MW post I made in the tarot forum... She had no idea that I was a judeo-pagan and nearly had a coronary. I'm sure you can figure out why she's my ex. :lol: Anyway.. yes, it does affect my romantic social life...but I still have normal friends. Some of them know my secret, some don't. It really depends on how much I trust them and how open minded they are.

[Dellit Tandannon]

rather then my being pagan effecting whom i choose to date, i find it effects who chooses to date me.

[CloakofStars9]

my last "boyfriend" was a southern babtist *pukes* and though i never talked about his beliefs he would always nag me about mine and say it was "stupid" so i never talked about it to him which was really hard when i wanted to share ideas and stuff, he was as closed minded as it gets, our relationship was forced anyhow so im glad i dumped his sorry ass

[IsisErin]

Originally posted by Dellit Tandannon

rather then my being pagan affecting whom i choose to date, i find it affects who chooses to date me.

My situation's somewhat the same. My boyfriend doesn't know. He's not going to know, because I don't want to lose him. Religion has never come up in conversation. It's not lying, because only about three people that I see IRL know.

Looking back over some of the other posts in here:

I wouldn't write off all Christians! My flatmate Apple is a committed Christian, church every Sunday, University Christian Union member etc. She was having a rant about how Harry Potter didn't lure children to the occult, which turned into a conversation between us about pagans. So I told her that I am one. She was very accepting, and asked some good questions about what I believe. I assured her that I hadn't been sucked into a cult. She's only mentioned it about once since. I'm sure she worried and prayed for me that night, but we're very close friends and I don't think it matters to her what religion I am.

Just my 2 pence.

[Stone]

Ooooooooo.


My kingdom for a sweet, lovin, pagan girl.

I've only met a couple, and they've usually found a good man by the time they meet me. But you wouldn't know I was living the pagan life to look at me...

Books... covers... judgin em by... you know the deal.


But, the search continues... ;)


Stone

[CloakofStars9]

ditto, ^^^ i have the same problem with Guys ;)

[Lacykitten]

To my knowledge, being Pagan hasn't affected who I date. I have always been open about my beliefs. I used to wear my pentacle all the time but I've lost it somewhere... of course.. I wear scarab rings and an Eye of Horus necklace and pentacle earrings sometimes. You know. I have never denied being Pagan and never witheld it from anyone. If anyone, ANYONE can't accept all of me for who I am, including my religious beliefs, they're not worth my time and I'd prefer to know that right off the bat. :)

I would have no problems dating a non-pagan, as long as there was respect between us, and at least a striving for understanding. I would try to understand their beliefs, and would expect the same in return.. Understanding does not mean believing the same, just finding an understanding of where they are coming from, and being able to respect that. :) That's the way all relationships should be. I mean, I have no problems dating a meat eater, and I'm a vegan, if I can deal with that major of a difference I think I can deal with a religious difference too.

Then again all the guys I've dated have been pagan or pagan-ish at least. Maybe I'm just lucky, I dunno. The group I associated with in high school, where I met my first boyfriend, was mostly pagans and wiccans, so that explains that. The second boyfriend was my at-the-time best friend's boyfriend's best friend, and was Druid I think.. best friend being pagan/wiccan/something (I've heard she's changed lately, but not from her, so dunno).. The third was from a LARP group and was Druid... and this one currently is also from a LARP group.. not sure exactly what he believes but we read Tarot together the other night so.. he's obviously not against it. ;)

I've never been interested in many guys so it's really never come up.. Oh, then again.. a couple people on the net, like on singles things that I tried a while back, were all "You seem like a great person but my religion means a lot to me so I don't think we're compatible," which sucked but - whatever. Tolerance is about diversity, not judging someone based on a single item you know about them. Again, not worth my time.

I think it would ultimately be easier with a pagan significant other, yes. The understanding of beliefs, even basis, if different traditions or whatever, is there. I don't think all pagan-pagan relationships work - HELL no. But I do think that when you've got a very important portion of what you believe in (no matter what the topic, religion, animal rights/veganism, politics, environmentalism, yada yada) that matches.. it makes a relationship a lot easier on that front.

I also think that love conquers all.. people can be very happy as long as they respect each other. If you're constantly hearing "and please save my wife's soul from eternal damnation," at the end of before-bed prayers, I doubt it'll work out - a tiny thing can cause a LOT of strife.. but if they're respectful and loving, there's no reason in that section anyway, that it shouldn't work out. ;)

All relationships are about respect, regardless of what area of the relationship you're talking about. If there's no respect, even in one tiny part, it can bring the entire relationship down.

[Stone]

Love can conquer all. And should.

Religion and spirituality are just one of the many things that make someone unique. Regardless of conflicting belief systems, if you love somebody, you should love everything about them.

Downfalls, upswings, beliefs, disbeliefs, favorite colour, most hated colour...

Shouldn't matter either way, if you truly love them.



Just my extra 2 cents. :)


Stone

[MzNeko]

Well, I've got the other side's point of view as I'm not the Pagan in the relationship. :)

While I can't really speak for my darlin' husband, I DO think that his being Pagan affected things. If he had been a Southern Baptist, or a fundamentalist Muslim, or some other stripe of believer that has completely incompatible (with me) notions about questioning authority or a woman's "proper place", I doubt we'd be together no matter how much I love him.

Some things, like that "graceful submission" stuff, I just couldn't live with.

While I don't always agree with him on matters theological, he has a creed that I can respect. And he's a terrific human being.

[TornadoAli]

I dont care what religion a person is, as long as they are aware of my religion and okay with it. I don't want to be hiding anything from anyone, even in the beginning.

[WitchJezebel]

Date? What's that? :confused:

I honestly don't remember the last date I had - and it isn't so much my being pagan affecting whom I choose, but who chooses ME... I meet men that won't come near me with ten foot pole cuz I'm a "witch"... :rolleyes:

Ah, c'est la vie. :cool:

[AstraSkye]

Other people's religions don't really matter to me, unless they try to shove it down my throat. So, as long as he/she accepts my views and choices, it's all good.

When I met my boyfriend, we were both atheists, though he didn't have much of an interest in other religions, while I was studying several of them. Nowadays, I guess he's an Agnostic, still without the interest in religions, while I'm considering taking the final step to become a Wiccan. And he's completely fine with that, and I'm completely fine with his religion (or lack thereof). :)

[Evenstar]

I think having some religious similarities with the people you date is sort of important. I mean if i met a guy i really liked and we got on well and he wasnt the same religion as me i wouldn't just drop him like a hot potatoe. But especially if one is looking for long term relationships(Ex. marriage) i think it's important to share common religious veiws. then when it comes to raising children and such there won't be so much conflict. :heartthro

[CloakofStars9]

i am very tolerable of other people's beliefs
but (like in my last relationship) if the other person is always putting you and your beliefs down thats where i draw the line... i expect my partner to be as open minded as i am, even if we dont agree on certain issues

[AstraSkye]

Originally posted by CloakofStars9

i am very tolerable of other people's beliefs
but (like in my last relationship) if the other person is always putting you and your beliefs down thats where i draw the line... i expect my partner to be as open minded as i am, even if we dont agree on certain issues

Well said :)

[StormChaser]

I think my spirituality doesn't cut me from other people as it does prevent other people from relating with me. It is in the back of my head that someone who is interested should know, relatively soon that I'm pagan&wiccan& a witch. I don't like wasting time really.

I have a very good friend who i considered dating, i would still consider dating,but we both know that it would go absolutely no where, by virtue of the fact that he's jewish, and I'm not. Not that I wouldn't have the desire to learn,but it would make holidays and family very hard to navigate. Even though we have similar views on raising kids *teaching them spirituality, exposing them to religions and letting them choose their path* it would be very hard to help him and vice versa our individual religions well. I could not participate in his rites without doing a minor disservice to the faith, and vice versa.

But on the whole I don't really let it get in the way. I tend to date athiests and agnostics, one of whom did find his path through attending my rites, which is pretty cool.

[Xander67]

all I want is someone who will love me for who I am as I will her,
and who still believes in the power of the rising sun and who can sit and enjoy the beauty of things..

guess that is too much to ask :(

[Evenstar]

I think that is all anyone wants. Someone who will love you for who you are. And even as crazy as this material world has gotten, there are still plenty of girls out there who can still appreciate the beauty of nature and the simple things in life. You'll find her.:sunny:

[stevie]

Well, my boyfriend is Angotic(spell). Someone who is not sure they believe in God. I think I'm slowly making him pagan. He loves cats and Eyptian myths, so I buy him books on cats magik and stuff.

[Grey]

My being pagan has kept me from some great ladies. Because of their families or the emphasis they have on religion theyll be my friends but no more because Im pagan.... I dont hold it against them, you cant make the heart become in love even if you can take it out...

[StormChaser]

Originally posted by Evenstar

I think that is all anyone wants. Someone who will love you for who you are. And even as crazy as this material world has gotten, there are still plenty of girls out there who can still appreciate the beauty of nature and the simple things in life. You'll find her.:sunny:

Not me.. hate to say it.. I'm one of those insane people with expectations like Belle (from beauty and the beast)

"I want so much more than they've got planned"

[ravenmyst]

I am leaning more to dating only pagans for awhile at least. burnt out of trying to explain myself and having people try to change a very deep personal part of myself, plus it just seems easier, more open.

[soilsigh aingeal]

I've been single for a year and so far religion hasn't been an issue. My ex is Catholic and in every conversation that came up, it was "you're an athiest how would you know?" Well, for starters, I'm not an athiest, I'm agnostic and I do believe in a god of some sort. But he was capable of bringing me down-low. I guess I haven't let the issue come up for that reason.

[aqua empath]

i think i am just going to wait till i find someone who will accept that i am pagan and not try to change me. having people so pushing the religion thing has been a problem for me. like ravenmyst said it is really hard to explain yourself to those not open.

[mtpathy]

i gave up trying to date christian weman...my beliefs and practices are too important for
me to simply be sat aside for someone else.
i now only date pagan weman,and i dont plan to change that any time soon :p

[aqua empath]

i gave up trying to date christian weman...my beliefs and practices are too important for
me to simply be sat aside for someone else.
i now only date pagan weman,and i dont plan to change that any time soon :p

i completely agree i dont think it is worth setting aside your practices for some one else just because they want you to or to pleaze them. i decided to do the same thing only date other pagans.

[Willow Rosette]

Id love to find a single man with similar beliefs to mine. I ahve dated everything from one who wasnt sure to my x-husband who was a jahova's whitness and even though it shouldnt matter it does. It can put a strain on a relationship. I have never ever dated a man who had similar beiefs as I do but believe me Im ready for him to come a-nockin lmao but either way it comes down to someone accepting my way of parenting maybe even understanding it? I dont know but I think it is already hard enough to find a decent man in this world much less one that has any kind of earth based beliefs to boot. Oh well maybe someday the universe will send him my way lmao

[Philbo]

My last girlfriend was Catholic, and that kinda put some stress on our relationship, especially when I met her parents, who are both heavily involved in the Catholic church. There were things we simply did not discuss because of religious differences. I never felt totallly comfortable around her as a result. I don't think I'd rule out dating Christians or other people religiously different from myself, but I can't see myself in a long-term serious relationship with a regular church-goer.

[Hope3645]

I don't really care what one labels themselve, but I do care greatly about what they believe. It is important for me to feel connected to them spiritually, emotionally, and intellectually. I don't want to fight all the time, and I don't want to have to have consistently shallow conversation to avoid a fight (like with most of my family). Also, if said person does not love all of me, then I don't want a relationship with them.
I do feel more comfortable dating Pagans. By fiancé is Pagan, mostly liberal, and we share many interests. I can't tell you how great it is to be able to connect on so many levels.

[StarCraftLia]

Not really.. I'm friends with all kinds of people, some pagan, some radical Chrisitans, some Satan-whorsiping goat-killers.. But eh, as long as they're good friends, it doesn't matter what they believe in, as long as they respect mine.

As far as dating goes, I wouldn't really tie myself in with anyone who thought rock music and lesbians were evil. I generally look for someone who shares a bit of my belief system, in that s/he has to have an open mind.

[thecount692003]

If the lucky Lady doesn't like pagans then it'a Hasta La Vista baby.

[Philosophia]

Being Pagan is a bonus, but not something that is required. If my partner can't stand my pagan beliefs, either live with it or go.

[Shadow Dreamer]

for my 2 cents worth...I've never told the women that I date what religion I follow, but waited until I was certain that it was a serious relationship before even showing them anything...I'll let my now wife relate a story about power and spirituality, a little something I did on a business trip to Hungary while she stayed here in Michigan, USA...this happened long before we got married:
He went to Hungary shortly after we started dating. I knew before he left that I was going to either marry him when he got back or we would be over. What relationship can withstand a month apart? He would call almost everyday, but that wasn't the amazing thing. I had an 18 month old son and didn't have many friends to do things with at night, so while he was gone, I spent time at home. Let's just say I got alot of sleep! On several occasions I would have "dreams" of him. These dreams would be very vivid and in the morning I would physically feel like the dream was more than a dream, I would feel like it really happened. I started questioning him on this only to find out that he was dreamwalking (astral projecting). It was his way of staying connected with me while he was gone. Up to that point we had talked about what religion we were raised, but that was it. I accepted his beliefs for what it was worth and because of my own questions and opinions started learning. We now share similiar beliefs and are teaching our children (who are very powerful by themselves) to share in our beliefs.

[taijiya]

I would find it difficult, at this stage of my life, to be with anyone whose beliefs were too terribly divergent from my own; but then, I can't fathom why someone whose views were diametrically opposed to my own would want to be with me, either! Who wants to fight all the time and constantly be on the defensive? It was hard enough to hammer out the common ground between my husband and I, and we were both wiccan at the time we married. :D We were fortunate, I guess, in that we've grown together rather than apart; but as difficult as it was even with both of us pagan, I can't fathom what it would've been like if we'd been of different faiths. But then, I doubt it would have lasted very long...



~*~taijiya~*~

[Karma Chameleon]

Does being a pagan effect your social life?


No, why would it? Besides, I'm engaged to Eijse, so I don't have to go out and about looking for love, I already have it. :)

[Shanti]

Love doesnt conquer all I think. (relationship love is what I am speaking about here. The other loves like for your child or parent are differant from relationship loves)
Love is in reality delicate. Love dies for many reasons. Heck time alone can be a factor in love fading.
Love is just an emotion. Anger doesnt come and stay forever usually...it needs fuel to burn...love needs to be fed too and if you and your partner are arguing every Christmas, easter, etc or one is feeling resentful for having to give in all the time....love is getting starved!

So yes, time and experience has taught me to be very careful in my choosing, hence my present SO is pagan.

[Bec_W]

Yes, married to one.

Because I tend to be so out spoken about the things I believe it was probably best that I found someone who was not only pagan, but who also believed in some of the same things I do, although I wasn't conscious of doing at the time.

[Rayzer]

it matters but not majorly what matters more is that they're caring and sensitive and wont abuse me.

[misty]

Being newly single after an 8 year relationship, I have to say that being Pagan has played a small role in my dating. I don't advertise that I am pagan, but I don't hide it either. I want someone who will respect my beliefs.

[FroggieThePunk]

I chose Yes Minor. Why? Well, bieng in the military most people tend not to care so much about my religion. Also, I don't tend to socialize that much. Couple of my best friends are Wiccans, the other one is kind of an agnostic, the other is a Carthian. I know alot of people of other religions, and we just don't tend to bring it up really. So for the most part it doesn't really matter.

As for dating....well...... for me that tends to happen less than me socializing. So I would say that religion and dating for me don't have enough evidence to support any kind of theory.

[halfwaynowhere]

i think it only matters if either one of you is seriously closed minded... if you have kids, how will they be raised... of course, my whole purpose of dating is to find a husband eventually, so i guess it may end up being more important to me than it would to people who date for other reasons... but i think if you care about each other, and their religion isn't important to you, it shouldn't make a difference...

[-Ember]

I'd say the most major way is because of the people it has exposed me to. I'm aware of some very attractive (at least to me) traits that it just is hard to find in the general population. And when looking at men, there just aren't enough of them in the pagan community... let alone ones who would fit this and aren't off limits for some reason.

Like I've discovered I am most attracted to men who are very comfortable about their sensuality (as opposed to sexuality... different issue.) I've met a couple "straight but unafraid" men, and a couple "gay but unafraid" men.... and it is attractive every time.... (I won't name names, but a certain visiting scottsman comes to mind ;) a few here might know who I mean). It isn't necessarily part of paganism, I've met a lot of pagans without that comfort level, but I haven't met anyone like that outside of it. And those inside tend to get snatched up quickly... especially males because, well, there IS a shortage. And/or there are other issues that put them off limits.

Things like that. There are just features allowed/encouraged/fostered in paganism that I don't see much of elsewhere that makes it hard to imagine finding a non-pagan who would have them. And for that matter one who could deal with some of my quirks (and twists and cracks and outright paradigm flips.) But I'm not holding my breath on a pagan SO... just it seems like the subset of humanity most likely to hold someone who would work for me.

[Londubh]

-Ember, there are non-pagan men who fit into you definition of "comfortable about their sensuality", I know quite a few. They are beautiful men, and by that I do not mean physicallity. They tend to be musicians, poets, writers, artists and performers. And they also tend to be alcoholics and addicts. At least the ones I know. I do not say this to discourage you, only a little disclaimer if you decide to go looking in that direction. I am sure that there are men who exist of this nature who are not completely chemically screwed up. Creative natures and addiction just tend to make good bedfellows.

Try going to some of the local poetry readings, or writing groups, or something along those lines. Maybe you'll find someone.

Some of the most mystical people I know are not those who would generally be defined as a pagan.

[Willow Rosette]

I agree with Ember. There is a shortage of men for the earth based religious women. Why do you suppose that is? Maybe they are out there and just hard to find? I dont know but would love an answer lmao

[Sea-Witch]

I voted no.

It's never been an issue for me, maybe because I don't talk about it a lot. I just am who I am. When it does eventually come up, most folks think it's cool.

I guess that means I hang around with cool people. Hehe.

[Luminessence]

I don't really know. My boyfriend is pagan, but I was Christian when I started dating him.

[Madame De La Mort]

I say that is helps if the guy is Pagan. I don't want to get into a fight about different faiths. But it doesn't play a major part in my dating life.

[Xander67]

I am not sure what I originally voted, but today I would say no, I dont get too concerned with Labels, as long as both of us agree spiritually then Im fine, I think it is sorta impossible to find someone who believes the same as you.. spirituality is personal, but if two people can pray together than that is a good start.

my only big issue is that they are open to truth.

[-Ember]

Try going to some of the local poetry readings, or writing groups, or something along those lines. Maybe you'll find someone.

Some of the most mystical people I know are not those who would generally be defined as a pagan.

I know... I'm just saying I haven't met them.... of course it could be they are just hidden behind the angsty multidues or academic snobs I always end up meeting at such things :blech: .


And they also tend to be alcoholics and addicts. At least the ones I know. I do not say this to discourage you, only a little disclaimer if you decide to go looking in that direction.

Yeah... that is something I forgot in the initial rant... guys who don't need chemical assistence to get to that state of being.... I do know a few of that list, but the druggie ones are mssing something to me. Usually they just lack fire, force, drive? I guess it is asking a bit much to want there to be guys who are sensual and sensitive and yet not lacking active/forceful/lively personalities? I've seen a couple pagan guys who fit, but none I would want to date... just enough to realize I like that. I've seen bits of it in other people, but not the whole mix. I'm just not attracted to anyone I suspect couldn't stand up to a wet paper bag, let alone me in a snit or even a real fury.... and frankly most of the drug or alcohol dependant ones I've seen seem to only be open and fine with themselves because they couldn't manage to maintain an opinion if they tried... or enough gumption to try.

[Rich]

pagan dating affects my dating life because once they know my beliefs they go off me :( :mad:

[Pesha]

LOL, well yes it does. I have had men run away when they found out. Oh well their loss.

BB
DS.

[Kaylana]

Yes and No. I think it is wrong not to date someone because of their religion, but it could be hard to find someone to understand your views. If you want a handfasting, it could be difficult finding a non pagan to go along with that. To my Paganism is a way of life and it is difficult not to share that with the person I am with. (if the are a differnt religion)

[peggarty]

I met my husband at a Pagan camp last year . . . we met by the camp fire, became friends, friendship led to dating, and less than a year later we were handfasted - oh, and the High Preist who performed the ritual was a previous boyfriend . . . obviously also Pagan!! SO yes, being Pagan affected my social life - for the better!!

[Invidosa]

It sorta does, only because I refuse to date anyone who can't be accepting about my faith

[Aoibheal]

Being pagan has made some social settings more difficult. My b/f is kinda pagan and I have many christian and pagan friends. I don't think I would be able to date a christian though, they are too hardcore in trying to either change me or damn me to hell.