aislin_ryann
January 3rd, 2006, 09:40 AM
What a year 2005 was. My mother had been violently ill, has had several ministrokes, can't talk very well, and can't walk with out assistance. We found out about a month ago that it is mercury poisoning. If that wasn't enough, we just found out on Friday that they are sure my step father has lung cancer. They won't say for sure that is what it is until they do a biopsy on his lung. But they don't think they can do a needle biopsy and that they are going to have to do it surgically. I don't know what I can do for them.
I am trying to be strong, but I am stretched to my limit. I am trying to help my sister who is caring for her neice and nephew (it is her husband's brother's kids). My brother in law just got a new job after almost a year of not being able to find one. All of this together has me on the edge. I stand losing my mother and my step father, and my sister is struggling to keep her house. I can't be financially stretched any further, and my mental state is going down the drain.
Some of you may know that I have been trying to get pregnant for almost 3 years now, with no luck. One of my co-workers found out she is pregnant 2 weeks ago, and I was ok with that, because I know she is ready to be a mommy, and at 34, she doesn't have many healthy child baring years left and this is her first one. Then today, another co worker told me she is pregnant and this time it really bothered me. I think part of it is that she is a very self centered person and the whole world revolves around her (or so she likes to believe). She is also the type who rubs stuff in your face. Already she has told me "at least I can give my husband what he wants." To me, its one of those situations where you know that they aren't ready for a baby, but now they have one on the way. I feel terrible because I can't give my husband a baby but its like everyone else can get pregnant just by thinking about it. We are going to start the adoption process after we move in Feb. But it rips my heart out everytime I hear someone is pregnant. :wah:
I think I am going crazy.
I am trying to be strong, but I am stretched to my limit. I am trying to help my sister who is caring for her neice and nephew (it is her husband's brother's kids). My brother in law just got a new job after almost a year of not being able to find one. All of this together has me on the edge. I stand losing my mother and my step father, and my sister is struggling to keep her house. I can't be financially stretched any further, and my mental state is going down the drain.
Some of you may know that I have been trying to get pregnant for almost 3 years now, with no luck. One of my co-workers found out she is pregnant 2 weeks ago, and I was ok with that, because I know she is ready to be a mommy, and at 34, she doesn't have many healthy child baring years left and this is her first one. Then today, another co worker told me she is pregnant and this time it really bothered me. I think part of it is that she is a very self centered person and the whole world revolves around her (or so she likes to believe). She is also the type who rubs stuff in your face. Already she has told me "at least I can give my husband what he wants." To me, its one of those situations where you know that they aren't ready for a baby, but now they have one on the way. I feel terrible because I can't give my husband a baby but its like everyone else can get pregnant just by thinking about it. We are going to start the adoption process after we move in Feb. But it rips my heart out everytime I hear someone is pregnant. :wah:
I think I am going crazy.