help, please

[Foxy_gurl16]

I need help telling my parents about me being a pagan. They are christian, and are sort of strict. Well, they are strict, but in a silent way. I remeber in thrid grade, I wanted to go goth, and my mom would not let me buy any cloths that were simmalare to black. Also, im a girl right, and most of the time girls are supposed to take longer in the bathroom, and yet I get a 45 min shower. If I go over that I get yelled at. I don't think my mom and dad would take it very well, espically because they both have a short temper. I am wondering, should I tell them right away, or wait until I am in college or out of the house?:whatmewor I think they are starting to think Im up to somthing, because I have had a book checked out for 3 weeks now, it is ' Witchcraft Today', they dont know what book it is, but they know its a book. What should I do?

[Ceres]

I think their main problem would be that they are worried about what it means. They are worried about what it will mean for YOU. Your job therefore, then, is to help them understand what you are getting into, why and what it will mean. Not as easy job!

For christian parents, I think the biggest worry is that you dont believe in god and that you will go to hell. so a good place to start is letting them know that Wicca (if thats what you are considering practicing) is a religion and is just another way to see the same god they worship. They may not agree, but its better than thinking you are worshipping the devil. They might still think that though.

I wouldnt tell them unless they ask, at least until you know more about Wicca yourself. If you have the luxury of time, you can then start talking to them about different aspects of occult beliefs in a non threatening manner. eventually they are going to confront you about your interest, but if you are being open about it and TALKING to them, most parents have it in them to be reasonable.

Btw - My daughter is only allowed 15 minute showers :lol:

[BlackMagicalCat]

Well,bless your heart.

Tell them to please dont force you to believe in God,but to let you decide when to believe in God,

because it is one of those things that only you can do in your heart.

If you ask them kindly,perhaps they will listen,I hope so,because when you force something on someone,they are driven farther away.

No one likes to be told what to believe.

Ill keep you in my prayers too.

[Bix]

I need help telling my parents about me being a pagan. They are christian, and are sort of strict. Well, they are strict, but in a silent way. I remeber in thrid grade, I wanted to go goth, and my mom would not let me buy any cloths that were simmalare to black. Also, im a girl right, and most of the time girls are supposed to take longer in the bathroom, and yet I get a 45 min shower. If I go over that I get yelled at. I don't think my mom and dad would take it very well, espically because they both have a short temper. I am wondering, should I tell them right away, or wait until I am in college or out of the house?:whatmewor I think they are starting to think Im up to somthing, because I have had a book checked out for 3 weeks now, it is ' Witchcraft Today', they dont know what book it is, but they know its a book. What should I do?
Honestly, everyone on these forums could give you all kinds of advice, but you have to make the decision whether or not your parents would accept it. You know your parents better than any of us.

Stop and think about it. Would your parents be accepting of your new religion? Some are, and some just go crazy over their kids trying out different religions. Honestly I'd just ask yourself is it worth the fuss to tell them? Would you rather just wait until you're out of the house to go practice on your own?

I haven't told my parents and honestly I don't think I ever will. I know they would not accept it and it would just be an unneeded argument. So I'm just waiting to get out on my own.

Good luck with whatever choice you make.

[Calen]

Stop and think about it. Would your parents be accepting of your new religion?

Yes, that. I think it's great that you want to be upfront with your parents, but you might consider what is likely to happen if you do tell them. If you think they will look at it rationally, go for it. If you think they will cause problems for you, it might be easier on you to keep yourself to yourself until you are an independant person, and they no longer hold any practical sway over your choices. Maybe I am being an equivocator here, but there is sometimes a fine line between lying to someone, and just not telling them for a time.

Also, if you decide to wait before telling them, you might even have a better understanding of what it is you believe and have years of experience, and thus be better able to explain things to them.

Best of luck!

[Foxy_gurl16]

Well, I think that my parents would freak out, and that what Im afraid of. I dont want the other part of my familiy (such as younger cousins) think that I worship satain, because they are super religious. I most affraid that I will be cast out of my familiy, or feel that I let them down.

[brighid's child]

I was about your age age, and in a similar situation when I started studying Wicca.I kept it to myself because it wasn't worth the fight. I agree that you should probably keep it to yourself until your parents ask.
I also think you should take a look at several different faiths. Decide exactly what it is you believe(Though that's a tall order, even for the most experienced folks). The more intelligently you can talk about your beliefs when the subject does come up, the better it is likely to go.
_inabox_ And if you're out of the house, with a family of your own before that happens, well that's okay too.

[MalPixie]

If there is a way that you can actually talk to them and they might talk back I would try to explain to them why. I would think they they might try to pass judgment on something that they might not fully understand. That and they might just think that you are being defient or that it is just a faze that you are going thru. If they will actually have a discussion with you and listin I would tell them and help them to understand!
Good Luck!

[pawnman]

My advice? If you are that worried about it, keep it under wraps until you are out of the house.

And 45 minutes for a shower? What are you doing in there? I don't go SWIMMING for 45 minutes!

[Foxy_gurl16]

ok, thank you for the advise.
PS 45 minuets isn't that long, considering that it include prushing my teeth, combing my hair, cleaning my ear, ect.

[pawnman]

ok, thank you for the advise.
PS 45 minuets isn't that long, considering that it include prushing my teeth, combing my hair, cleaning my ear, ect.

Must be a girl thing. I can be in and out in 10 minutes, including brushing my teeth and combing my hair.

[SphinYote]

I don't have anything to say that hasn't already been said with regards to telling your parents.

Must be a girl thing. I can be in and out in 10 minutes, including brushing my teeth and combing my hair.

Not all of us. I can be in and out in ten minutes, too. Only time I take longer than a 15 min shower is when I'm feeling sick, and the warm water just feels so good (of course, our hot water heater doesn't last much beyond that either, though). On the whole though, I think its a shame to waste water.

Of course, part of what minimizes my time in the bathroom is that I don't style my hair. More than three minutes on hair, and I'm impatient and bored and say who the heck cares, why am I wasting my life on this? (Not to say it isn't important at times, there are just other things I'm much more interested in...as long as I'm clean and reasonalbly presentable though, I just don't care...). :D

[FaeryChild]

When I began the long road to eventually telling my parents, I started with little things like asking them what they thought about reincarnation and such.

If they react violently to that, you will know that telling them you are a pagan is probably not a good idea.

[Foxy_gurl16]

well, it sort of is a girl thing, since it dosn't take as long to rise your hair, or brush it. also, I like taking my time, its good for your body.

[DuchessofAngels]

I need help telling my parents about me being a pagan. They are christian, and are sort of strict. Well, they are strict, but in a silent way. I remeber in thrid grade, I wanted to go goth, and my mom would not let me buy any cloths that were simmalare to black. Also, im a girl right, and most of the time girls are supposed to take longer in the bathroom, and yet I get a 45 min shower. If I go over that I get yelled at. I don't think my mom and dad would take it very well, espically because they both have a short temper. I am wondering, should I tell them right away, or wait until I am in college or out of the house?:whatmewor I think they are starting to think Im up to somthing, because I have had a book checked out for 3 weeks now, it is ' Witchcraft Today', they dont know what book it is, but they know its a book. What should I do?

Paganism & Wicca are 2 different things. Paganism is the oldest religion in the world. Wicca's newer in comparison & concentrates more on the Celtic gods/goddesses.

I would learn everything about it you can. You can't put up a good fight/argument if you don't know what you're talking about. So start studying now...& eventually when you're older/more mature you can decide whether or not to share it with them. :wave:

[morningstar2651]

Well, I think that my parents would freak out, and that what Im afraid of. I dont want the other part of my familiy (such as younger cousins) think that I worship satain, because they are super religious. I most affraid that I will be cast out of my familiy, or feel that I let them down.
I advise keeping silent until you're 18.

[Foxy_gurl16]

k, but is it ok to tell my friends? cause I told like 5 people already. (one, I have a crush on)

[DreamSpell333]

well, I didnt actually get into wicca until I was on my own,living with my husband(fiance) at the time.He and I got into it together. I was afraid to tell my parents,but eventually I did.. My parents arent too religious.When I told my mom, she told me she'd rather me be pagan/wiccan than a johavas witness. Even my Mother in Law was accepting and shes CATHOLIC!! If I had been learning it when I was livign at home,I might have waited to tell them. Since your parents are so religious, it may be best to just keep it to yourself for now, until your on your own... Good Luck :)