ragnarok0mega
January 10th, 2006, 05:50 PM
***WARNING*** if you are very attached to cats (as i am) DO NOT read this.
ok so let me start off by saying i NEVER remember dreams. in the past 18 years i have remembered all of 3 dreams including this one. and they were all bits and pieces, this is the only one ive remembered so much of. and in this dream it felt so incredibly real, it was concious almost. i could think, i felt emotions, i felt pain. and unlike most dreams where im seeing myself in the third person, this one i was looking through my own (or maybe someone elses) eyes, like i do when awake. unfortunatly, i cant recall most of the conversations i had, i can remember some words, and most of the feelings and images though. the first part of the dream that i remember was me being in my girlfriends bedroom hanging out, i cant remember why but i ended up looking under the bed and seeing two different kinds of spiders, one to me looked like an orb weaver, the body may have been different, the other had the body shape almost exactly like a black widow, except its entire body was white and covered in black tribal looking markings. along with them was a stink bug, and a few other insects i believe, but one of the spiders spit a green substance out at (i believe) the stink bug, and i clearly remember remarking that it was acid, as i watched the stink bug slowly melt away, leaveing a tiny creature, to this i quickly though that this must be how those spiders reproduce (all of this thiking is inside the dream still) and i kind of freak out because, i hate spiders, and a spider that can spit acid that would eat away a stink bug within a few seconds was not something i wanted to be around. after this me and my g/f went to a big walmart like store in hopes of buying some spider killing spray, after walking for a few minutes, randomly, my mom is working there, and there is a cat there at the side of her desk which is in the middle of the walkway. the cat was white with black spots covering it. and i stand and talk to my mom for awhile, and notice there are knives on her desk for no reason at all. and then my g/f comes up and says she found the spider kill spray. and then the whole scene changes to me at a skatepark, with a playground. and a friend who i had looked up to for many years (though i now live quite a few hours away) drives up and says hey whats goin on, i didnt recognize him at first but then i realized who it was and started tlaking to him. what i didnt realize untill after i had woken up was that he was not wearing a shirt, and i could see a MASSIVE scar at the bottom of his stomache, almost as if someone had ripped his stomache out or something. but i digress, the dream changed suddenly again and i was back in my g/fs room and i go to look under the bed, and the white/black spider (i think there may have only been one, but something tells me there were more) was gone, but the black/yellow (orb weavers) were still there. and the dream changed again...
**************DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE SQUEAMISH OR LOVE CATS
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this time it was something horrific, this is where i hope i was looking through someone elses eyes and not mine. the hands were holding the cat that was at the side of the desk, and there was an incredible urge, almost like it had to be done or something bad was going to happen, to kill it (please dont misunderstand me, i LOVE cats, and would NEVER harm one) and i proceeded to do so, i dont want to go into details because just thinkin about it makes my heart sink, but i used the knife on the desk to do so, and in the end wound up using it to sever the spinal cord in hopes of ending any pain, and watching its entire body go limp. after doing so i felt such, horrific dispair, and depression, and regret, and looking at the bloody hands and watching it drip into the clear tuppoware bowel that was used as the water bowl.
can someone plese give me some insight as to what this may all mean? i know theres something here, because i have NEVER had a dream where i could remember so much, or felt so much or saw this way, or even been able to think concious thought. and it seemed like i knew what was going on the entire time even though it would just fade in and out. and even the cat thing seemed to have some kind of meaning behind, some kind of reason.
ok so let me start off by saying i NEVER remember dreams. in the past 18 years i have remembered all of 3 dreams including this one. and they were all bits and pieces, this is the only one ive remembered so much of. and in this dream it felt so incredibly real, it was concious almost. i could think, i felt emotions, i felt pain. and unlike most dreams where im seeing myself in the third person, this one i was looking through my own (or maybe someone elses) eyes, like i do when awake. unfortunatly, i cant recall most of the conversations i had, i can remember some words, and most of the feelings and images though. the first part of the dream that i remember was me being in my girlfriends bedroom hanging out, i cant remember why but i ended up looking under the bed and seeing two different kinds of spiders, one to me looked like an orb weaver, the body may have been different, the other had the body shape almost exactly like a black widow, except its entire body was white and covered in black tribal looking markings. along with them was a stink bug, and a few other insects i believe, but one of the spiders spit a green substance out at (i believe) the stink bug, and i clearly remember remarking that it was acid, as i watched the stink bug slowly melt away, leaveing a tiny creature, to this i quickly though that this must be how those spiders reproduce (all of this thiking is inside the dream still) and i kind of freak out because, i hate spiders, and a spider that can spit acid that would eat away a stink bug within a few seconds was not something i wanted to be around. after this me and my g/f went to a big walmart like store in hopes of buying some spider killing spray, after walking for a few minutes, randomly, my mom is working there, and there is a cat there at the side of her desk which is in the middle of the walkway. the cat was white with black spots covering it. and i stand and talk to my mom for awhile, and notice there are knives on her desk for no reason at all. and then my g/f comes up and says she found the spider kill spray. and then the whole scene changes to me at a skatepark, with a playground. and a friend who i had looked up to for many years (though i now live quite a few hours away) drives up and says hey whats goin on, i didnt recognize him at first but then i realized who it was and started tlaking to him. what i didnt realize untill after i had woken up was that he was not wearing a shirt, and i could see a MASSIVE scar at the bottom of his stomache, almost as if someone had ripped his stomache out or something. but i digress, the dream changed suddenly again and i was back in my g/fs room and i go to look under the bed, and the white/black spider (i think there may have only been one, but something tells me there were more) was gone, but the black/yellow (orb weavers) were still there. and the dream changed again...
**************DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE SQUEAMISH OR LOVE CATS
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
this time it was something horrific, this is where i hope i was looking through someone elses eyes and not mine. the hands were holding the cat that was at the side of the desk, and there was an incredible urge, almost like it had to be done or something bad was going to happen, to kill it (please dont misunderstand me, i LOVE cats, and would NEVER harm one) and i proceeded to do so, i dont want to go into details because just thinkin about it makes my heart sink, but i used the knife on the desk to do so, and in the end wound up using it to sever the spinal cord in hopes of ending any pain, and watching its entire body go limp. after doing so i felt such, horrific dispair, and depression, and regret, and looking at the bloody hands and watching it drip into the clear tuppoware bowel that was used as the water bowl.
can someone plese give me some insight as to what this may all mean? i know theres something here, because i have NEVER had a dream where i could remember so much, or felt so much or saw this way, or even been able to think concious thought. and it seemed like i knew what was going on the entire time even though it would just fade in and out. and even the cat thing seemed to have some kind of meaning behind, some kind of reason.