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View Full Version : Subgenius Rant #1: Instructions For Those Who Take No One's Orders



Little Billy
January 27th, 2006, 11:12 PM
We are made to be immortal, and yet we die. It's horrible. It can't be taken seriously."
- Famous Weirdo Eugene Ionesco

What DOES Verthaine do, when he isn't dodging bullets just to piss the cops off, or taunting hurricanes?"
- The Good Reverend Roger

It turns out that The Machine(tm) isn't as scary as Little Billy had come to believe. It seems that it can only kill you when it is supposed to be helping you...and Henry David Thoreau told us what to do when people come along being helpful.

The longer you look, the more apparent it is that the whole rotten edifice is just waiting for the right push to come crashing down around the ears of the politicians, the normals, the news geeks...and are we not The Pushers(tm)? Please go stand by the stairs...

Why does it seem like some people can get away with anything? Because we LET them.
- Ivan Stang

The problem here isn't FEMA, and it isn't Bush, and it's not going to go away. The ridiculous failure of the Katrina relief effort was caused by the fact that we seem to have reached our species limit of competence...our "Peter Principle" limit, as it were. The Machine(tm) has simply gotten so complex that it can no longer function, except as dictated by inertia...some governmental processes are so routine that they CAN'T fail, because nobody has the initiative to royally screw them up.

Fortunately, those processes are rare. Most governmental and societal functions are now so complicated that they can't EVER function correctly, and the legal system...well, it makes Kafka look like a starry-eyed optimist.

Fat City was built like a mansion over the last 220 years, with comfy living rooms and spacious toilet bowls (to accomodate our fat asses). Problem is, they built the fourth floor by stealing two-by-fours from the foundation.

Think of it this way...The Machine is still too big to actually take down, but it's very size is its greatest weakness. You really can't FIGHT City Hall, but you CAN crazy glue all the bathrooms shut. Sneaky acts of sabotage trump righteous "symbolic acts" every time. The trick is to realize that The Machine(tm) cannot guard ALL of the two-by-fours...

...And WE, my friends, are the termites.

Or Kill Me.

eldora_avalon
January 28th, 2006, 02:40 AM
You're title is an oxymoron, but other than that, one of your best. Is this a new one or is my brain blocking out that I haave read this before :awilly:

Little Billy
January 28th, 2006, 02:42 AM
You're title is an oxymoron, but other than that, one of your best. Is this a new one or is my brain blocking out that I haave read this before :awilly:

1. No it isn't. You just have to ignore the contradictions, because there aren't any. You lack faith in "Bob". But thanks.

2. It's a modified older one. I am busy building up to spew some new rants, but they aren't done percolating yet.

eldora_avalon
January 28th, 2006, 03:29 AM
1. No it isn't. You just have to ignore the contradictions, because there aren't any. You lack faith in "Bob". But thanks.

2. It's a modified older one. I am busy building up to spew some new rants, but they aren't done percolating yet.
We had a debate about the uselessness of 90 day wonders during the Vietnam War, comparing and contrasting them with guys who went through Annapolis. I seem to have the kind of mind that looks for things like that and they don't make sense, but they do make sense and my brain will go through all the ways possible to make them make sense, which brings me back to Military Intelligence, the biggest oxymoron ever. My hubby is worse, he points out the strings on the miniatures in James Bond movies :(

Looking forward to them.

Meabh23
January 29th, 2006, 08:02 AM
1. No it isn't. You just have to ignore the contradictions, because there aren't any. You lack faith in "Bob". But thanks.

2. It's a modified older one. I am busy building up to spew some new rants, but they aren't done percolating yet.


It sounds like a manifesto from one of those prats from zcluster.

It is good by the way. I just thought you should know that you sound like those magit prop guys.

Little Billy
January 29th, 2006, 10:20 AM
It sounds like a manifesto from one of those prats from zcluster.

It is good by the way. I just thought you should know that you sound like those magit prop guys.

They are pale imitations of the raw fury that is Little Billy...and I am but a pale imitation of the salesmanship dynamo that is "Bob". I have 200 pages of this crap festering over at POEE, but he said all of that - and more - in just one sentence. He could have done it in one word, but that would have made me feel bad, anf I'm one of the last prophets he has left...since Stang & crowd all died of "tragic hip-ness".

DoktorSick
January 30th, 2006, 02:36 AM
They are pale imitations of the raw fury that is Little Billy...and I am but a pale imitation of the salesmanship dynamo that is "Bob". I have 200 pages of this crap festering over at POEE, but he said all of that - and more - in just one sentence. He could have done it in one word, but that would have made me feel bad, anf I'm one of the last prophets he has left...since Stang & crowd all died of "tragic hip-ness".
Oh yeah that's the word for it.tragic hip-ness.
I have noticed that.
Big ups little billy your post and responses are always fun to read.
praise bob.

Meabh23
January 30th, 2006, 04:09 PM
"Tragic hipness" sounds like some disease you contract after buying your condo in the artsy part of town.

Fire's Shadow
January 30th, 2006, 04:22 PM
...And WE, my friends, are the termites.

Or Kill Me.

Nothing against you, but I'd rather kill you.

Little Billy
January 30th, 2006, 09:39 PM
Nothing against you, but I'd rather kill you.


OUTSTANDING!

I've been trying to get those Discordian nerds to kill me for 3 years.

Little Billy
January 30th, 2006, 09:40 PM
"Tragic hipness" sounds like some disease you contract after buying your condo in the artsy part of town.

...Or decide that you're too cynical and jaded to write anything, anymore, despite the fact that this is all Stang was ever good for.

Little Billy
January 30th, 2006, 09:40 PM
Oh yeah that's the word for it.tragic hip-ness.
I have noticed that.
Big ups little billy your post and responses are always fun to read.
praise bob.


Thanks. Nice sig, btw.

Meabh23
February 1st, 2006, 04:58 AM
...Or decide that you're too cynical and jaded to write anything, anymore, despite the fact that this is all Stang was ever good for.

You can't blame Stang. The free market demanded it, as you say in your sermons.

Little Billy
February 1st, 2006, 08:08 PM
You can't blame Stang. The free market demanded it, as you say in your sermons.

Stang should know better. The bastard got all pissy because he found out that publishers take a good chunk of book revenues...so he doesn't write anymore, he just sits on his laurels, treating us all to the odor of his pee-stained dentures.

Meabh23
February 3rd, 2006, 01:49 AM
Stang should know better. The bastard got all pissy because he found out that publishers take a good chunk of book revenues...so he doesn't write anymore, he just sits on his laurels, treating us all to the odor of his pee-stained dentures.

You should fire him and take over his operation.

Little Billy
February 3rd, 2006, 01:55 AM
You should fire him and take over his operation.

You gotta be kidding. I saw what it did to HIM.

Meabh23
February 3rd, 2006, 02:04 AM
You gotta be kidding. I saw what it did to HIM.

Then you have no choice left to you. You know what you have to do.

It has been decades since a good old fashioned wholesome American hippie cult terrorized the wretches of Los Angeles.

Little Billy
February 3rd, 2006, 02:06 AM
Then you have no choice left to you. You know what you have to do.

It has been decades since a good old fashioned wholesome American hippie cult terrorized the wretches of Los Angeles.


Tucson. And I look like a redneck, which - of course - lets me get away with all sorts of nonsense.

Malcolm
February 3rd, 2006, 02:37 AM
Jane says...

Meabh23
February 3rd, 2006, 02:49 AM
Tucson. And I look like a redneck, which - of course - lets me get away with all sorts of nonsense.

Sounds like a plan. I can help. I have some old Tibetan lama stuff from my family that could make you seem like a real guru, if you go in for that nonsense.

Little Billy
February 3rd, 2006, 06:00 PM
Sounds like a plan. I can help. I have some old Tibetan lama stuff from my family that could make you seem like a real guru, if you go in for that nonsense.

I am always willing to try a new gig.

Meabh23
February 6th, 2006, 03:59 PM
I am always willing to try a new gig.

You may have to lose a finger or two, to make it look authentic.

Little Billy
February 6th, 2006, 08:56 PM
You may have to lose a finger or two, to make it look authentic.


Okay. Bust out the machete.