Tips to Newbies

[AlleyCat]

For those just starting out besides "read lots" are there any other tips about anything and everything that you would offer to those unsure about stepping down the pagan path??

Alley Cat

[Jenett]

Big one? Take your time. You don't need to make a decision about a particular path, deity, or whatever else right away.

It's very normal to be excited and enthusiastic - but recently, I've heard several people get into some potentially nasty situations because they leapt at the first opportunity that came their way. (I'm talking leaping at the first group option, a week or two after deciding they were interested.)

I'm inclined to say it's a good idea to spend at least six months doing some reading and thinking before making any particular commitments (to a group or to a path) beyond exploration.

The other big one is keep your brain engaged. If you're an adult (or even a reasonably together teenager), you know lots of stuff about how to evaluate social situations, groups, new activities.

Don't forget all the things you know just because you're looking at a new setting (and whether that's the Pagan community online, a local group, a teacher, or whatever.) Don't forget the other skills you use to evaluate what people tell you, and to learn new information, and all that.

[aislin_ryann]

I agree with Jenett. Take your time. Let it come to you, don't rush it. That doesn't mean just sit back and let things do your work for you. You have to do the grunt work, like reading and lots of study, but don't force yourself into a certain way of doing things just because a books says too. It will all come to you with time. :)

[bshore]

Another one: don't do anything unless you're reasonable sure what you're doing. Sounds like common sense, right? I don't know how many people I've seen ask something like "well, I've been doing Ritual A every day for a week, and I was just wondering whether or not I could substitute Diety X for Diety Y since I don't know anything about Diety X and the ritual is giving me a bad vibe"

Um, right. So, you've been performing a ritual which utilizes energy that you have no idea what it might do? Good job.

Seriously, tho, it's impossible to know what each association and name means, but at least know what you're working with and why.

[LostSheep]

I'd agree with the others, don't feel that you have to do any one particular thing or follow one particular system, do what you feel is right for you and what you feel comfortable with. And you don't have to be a Wiccan - do if you feel that that speaks to you most, but remember that there's a whole lot of other paths you can take, and you don't have to assume that because you're a pagan then you must be a Wiccan because that's what there's most books on the shelves about. You don't have to abandon your existing beliefs either, you may feel that you want to, but you can match a lot of belief systems with pagan beliefs without needing to make too many compromises, as a look around here would show.

[Jolantru]

Read a lot. Dare to question. Use your sense of judgement - there is a lot of good stuff out there. There is also a lot of nonsense. Be discerning and learn to listen to the little voice of reason inside you. Don't be - for crying out loud - a sheep blindly following other people.

As the rest have already said, there is always the euphoric high of finding like-minded people around you. Yet, be aware that not many people have positive or good intentions. The moment you hear people telling you to do things that are potentially dangerous or harmful, leave the situation or group (or whatever). There are many teachers out there who are good and mean well; there are those who are dodgy.

Most of all, listen to yourself. That's the most important. The external pressures might feel as if they are your voice and sometimes, clamor for attention and you end up going everywhere. But always... always listen to yourself.

Hope this helps,
Jolantru

[Faelon_Moon_Hawk]

I say do some deep down soul searching. Figure out what you want from a path, what are your goals, what do you believe, what "feels right".

Trust yourself, it's hardsometimes, but really, you need to :)

don't be afraid to make mistakes or ask a stupid question. don't be afraid to take some time and actually try out the things you are reading about, so you can actually see them, feel them.

pay attention, you can learn a lot just by paying attention. whether to signs & symbols, nature, or a forum like this. keep all your senses open and altert.

don't feel pressured to do something, or be something, if it's not truely what you want.

[Tranquility]

Lots of great suggestions guys, nice job. I would suggest starting meditation after you have the basics of your path. Meditation is vital for many more advanced concepts, and it can be as simple as sitting and breathing for ten minutes a day. At the very least, meditation helps to relax the body and calm the mind, thus allowing physical benefits. Also, I would suggest making a list of A) What/why is it you are studying the path you are. B) What is it that you are looking for? C) Get a list of various paths and check into each of them, or D) Make up your own. A lot of what I do I just term 'following the path of the heart' but if you want a more structured term, I live my life as a Druid/Shaman (Though I do not consider myself one). Also, I would start a journal. As corney as it may seem to some people, these are extremely useful! Make sure to record dreams/experiences/meditations, etc. You can record poems, rituals, and future goals and things you would like to learn. Best of luck to those starting.

[semi]

Question everyone and everything. Believe no one and nothing unless you experience it firsthand, and even then question it. All reality/truth/fact is subjective and totally open for interpretation. Create your own reality. Be your own god. Then question this reality and defy that god.

Don't be afraid to experiment. There is a lot to be said for caution and being aware of what you're doing. Only a fool would do something risky with no idea of what they're doing. So be a fool once in awhile and put your ass on the line and see what happens. Chances are, it'll hurt real bad. Then you will have learned something. This is a good thing.

Remember that nothing is carved in stone. There are no laws. There are beliefs and theories, but there are no facts. Everything is in flux. The fewer impediments you have in your mind, things like facts and truths and reality, the better you will be able to ride this flux and shape this flux into what you want it to be.

And there's the ubiquitous reading and studying, blah blah blah. Just don't forget to balance the reading with actual firsthand experience. Nothing will teach you faster than experience, whether the experience is "good" or "bad."

[Crimson Mage]

The biggest pitfall of all in my opinion is that you must learn to "consider the source".

A prime example of this is someone telling you "this is the correct way to do ABC".
Depending on WHO you ask, youll get different answers. Take ritual work as an example. A coven member will tell you theres only one "right" way - the way the coven they belong to does it. A solitary will tell you "this is what works for me".
Ask 50 members of 50 covens, and 50 solitarys -- youll get 100 different answers. Keep in mind, none of them is actually wrong, but there's a responsibilty that YOU have when you receive all these different answers --- you must take them all, sort through them, and find the part or parts that work for YOU. the Pagan Path, while in general terms makes us all one large family, has within it the ability and/or right, to individualise things to what works for you. There is no "one great book of rules" to follow, follow your heart and your spirit, and let no one convince you that theirs is the only right way -- study it, poke it, prod it, and figure out what to keep and what to toss. If you do this, you will NEVER be wrong, because youre being true to yourself.

[Bix]

Read a lot like everyone says...but I say if you really want to know about a certain patheon, actually read academic literature based on that certain pantheon instead of reading about a deity in a new agey book.

[Dawa Lhamo]

Take ritual work as an example. A coven member will tell you theres only one "right" way - the way the coven they belong to does it. A solitary will tell you "this is what works for me". And don't be afraid to join a coven because you think it will claim to have the one right way. Some do, some don't. (It's a stereotype that's not accurate across the board) Crimson Mage is right in that there is no one "right" way to believe and practice, though. I'm just pointing out that I've come across many solitaries that claim to have THE right way, too. Don't believe any of them, there are several good ways to get to the same place. ^_^

The suggestion of meditation is also very good. It's good to start with, it's good to finish with. ^_^ You can incorporate your self-analysis into this quite well. ^_^

Tashi delek!
Dawa Lhamo

[Nitefalle]

Know your strengths and your limitations. There are some things you'll just never be good at, and that's okay. I will never be a pro at things like astral projection or seeing energies. That's okay, because there are lots of other things that I do really well that maybe others aren't so good at. Don't get down on yourself if there's some "pagan experience" you've read about or heard about that you just never get the hang of.

Take everything with a grain of salt. Common sense is your greatest tool - don't be afraid to use it!!! If something sounds fishy or fake, it probably is!

Not everything has to be an hour-long dressed up ritual. Simple CAN be powerful! Never brush something off because it sounds "too easy".

Never do something because someone else tells you to do it. Remember to think for yourself! This is YOUR spiritual path you're exploring, not anyone else's. If a particular path draws you in, it's okay if you don't agree with every single detail. If there are some things that just don't work for you, make substitutions, explore what DOES work for you. Blend it with your path. Don't get mired down in what you think you should be doing as a Recon or a Druid or a Heathen or a Wiccan, or whatever. The gods know when you are sincere and when you're trying too hard.

Don't let anyone tell you how to interact with your gods or how your gods should be/act if you have seen differently. If you don't experience Cernunnos as a fatherly figure, but others do, don't worry about it. The gods appear to us as we need them, they are to us what we need to see and feel. Your relationship with your god is just that, don't let someone else invalidate that for you because they experience deity as something else. Pagans, in general, love to share experiences, but comparing notes can quickly turn into "Well, that's not what I felt/saw/experienced, so your way isn't as good as mine". Don't fall prey to it, just politely tell them to mind their own business.

[Rasenna]

My top ten suggestions (in no particular order):
1. Don't automatically take someone's word for anything, even if they're famous and/or have been practicing longer than you have. A lot of teachers either get their egos involved, or else they are just plain old mired down in tomes and have forgotten what a mystical experience feels like. This has happened to me and to friends of mine in other Recon traditions.
2. Don't be a "Bandwagoner." In other words, don't just jump on something because it has your ancestry connected to it. I know too many people both personally and on-line who believe what they do just because allegedly their ancestors did, when really it should be the other way around: they should believe in it because THEY PERSONALLY experience it.
3. Don't believe everything you're told. Learn to sniff out b*llsh*t, because, like it or not, it IS out there. One of the most important skills to hone is not a "magical" one at all--it is critical thinking. Don't lose sight of that in the big WOW factor--it's a VERY easy way to get burned and disillusioned.
4. Don't assume that everyone you run into out there who is pagan is nice or even humane. There are just as many *ssh*l*s running around out in the pagan community as anywhere else.
5. Don't lose yourself along the way. While it's true that following whatever path will change you, you are also drawn to a specific path for inner reasons. Never let anyone convince you that you're "doing it wrong."
6. Speak up for yourself. Don't ever be somebody's doormat, even if they are older or have had more experiences than you have in X tradition. Being a b*tch is the surest way to weed out the has-beens and expose the weak egoists, mysogonists, etc. (And, again, yes, unfortunately, they ARE out there...sad to say...)
7. Make friends from other traditions. One of the things that irks me about a lot of both neo-pagan and Recon traditions is that they will only hang with their own kind. Furthermore, they don't really listen when you try and tell them about YOUR tradition, even if they initially asked.
8. Solitude is a real eye-opener. Sure, it's great to talk about and share experiences with others (esp. when you're first starting out), but the only way to truly understand the Gods and Their message(s) for you is to meet with them directly, in silence, and solitarily.
9. Keep a journal of your experiences. I still have fun looking back at my journals from six years ago when I started out and seeing how much I've grown.
10. Never stop learning or growing--both in your path/tradition and in your "mundane" life. Learn to be *awake,* as in awe at aged 80 of the world as you were when you were 8. AND, as I often say, my two "basic" rules:
-Know Yourself
-Pay Attention.
A presto~
~R

[Little Billy]

1. Don't pray. You never know WHAT is listening.

2. The more convoluted you spell "magic", the more credibility you have. "Magick" is good. "Mahdjgickque" is better.

3. If you don't understand the jargon, fake it. I know *I* do.

4. Watch out for the Buddhists. They'd cut you just for standing, shoot you if you try to run.

5. Don't be a jackass. The world has enough of those.

6. Don't be quick to laugh at peoples' beliefs. Yours may very well be even weirder.

7. Don't bother trying to find the "secret emoticon". They hid it really well, this time.

8. No dressing up in Mol's clothes and doing cheesy imitations. It's been done before and - frankly - it wasn't all that funny the FIRST time.

9. For the love of Gawd, keep the political stuff in Political Pagan. I love a political rant as much as the next geek, but it is kept there for a reason.

10. DO NEVER listen to Little Billy, or any of the other Discordians/Subgenii. They are a bad influence, and associating with them can only end in tears.

[RunningRiot]

The thing I found worked best of all for me..

Ditch all the books, all the websites, all the teachers and all the BS.

Learn from experience, not examples. Alot of people are going to whine and say, "HOOOWW???!!!!!?!?!?!" But it's really not that hard. Everyone had to learn personally themselves one time or another, right? Otherwise there would be no magic, no religion, no nothing. We'd all have to learn it ourselves; instead of being converted or learning it from others. We actually learnt it from the sources. That is the best learning you could ever possibly do in the universe! O_O

Also record your dreams.. Lots of important crap in dreams..

[Kalika]

1.) Keep an open mind.

(Sounds obvious, right? Wrong!)

Too many people get onto the path of... oh, I want to do this and this and this... which is great... but give yourself room to explore other areas as they come up. Don't stick rigidly to what you originally think you want to learn - let that grow and expand as you learn more about the faith, path, religion that you are looking into.

2.) Noone knows everything...period.

There will be those that claim they do - but they really don't. It just isn't possible to know everything... as so many things are variable from person to person. Don't stress about it - just keep that factor in mind.

3.) There is generally more than one "right" way to do something. Spells, chants, rituals... most are flexible, to a point. Work with what you have, where you are.

4.) Listen to and learn from others experiences. You don't have time to do it all yourself. ;)

5.) Have fun! Your spiritual path is supposed to bring you joy - not seem tedious and boring. If it gets that way, make a change so that you are enjoying yourself again.

[Malcolm]

10. DO NEVER listen to Little Billy, or any of the other Discordians/Subgenii. They are a bad influence, and associating with them can only end in tears.

This is the most important thing in this thread.:)

[Avalonia]

Where you start off may not be where you end up. Keep an open mind about what you're doing, you don't know where it can lead (and that can be a good thing sometimes).

Don't listen to everyone all the time. Sometimes, the most important advice is in what's not being said and what you must experience yourself, instead of secondhand knowledge.

The gods have a weird way of behaving and they can surprise you. All you need to do is open your eyes to their signs (which can be very odd things indeed).

Don't be afraid to screw up a few times. It's going to happen, it's part of life, so don't think it's the end of the world when it does.

Sometimes, humour is the best form of magic.

Just because what you believe isn't written down somewhere or isn't part of a tradition (or lack thereof) doesn't mean it's not valid. It is. There is nothing that says that you have to follow the rules all the time - you could break them all, as long you're being true to what you believe in and what path you feel you truly must follow.

Things need not be elaborate when you start. They may never be elaborate. If you feel you require things like tools, then get them. If not, the gods will make perfect sense what you're doing without them.

It's the intent that counts, not the set-up.

People will not always agree with you, nor will you with them. It's part of life, and don't feel you have to change to suit someone else's desires.

Be informed, and do your research. A little bit of information goes a long way.

(And I have to stop now because I'm starting to feel like I'm writing new lyrics for that Baz Luhrman song... what was it called, "Wear Sunscreen" or something? XD)

[MorningDove030202]

Tips for Newbies....

Don't be afraid to PRACTICE! All you are doing is studying if you don't practices the exercises, do the rituals, pull that tarot card every morning!

Don't be afraid of structured learning in a group.

Do be aware of Trolls: Here's a guide to trollspotting, it's long but a worthy read and will save you alot of trouble in the long run:
http://esoterica.bichaunt.org/Trolls/ If you can't read it all, just do the first 9 pages and it will get you the gist of the entire essay.

Do listen to your intuition, for it is the voice of God/dess!

Blessed Be!
Dove

[AlleyCat]

These are some awsome tips guys!! Keep em coming!! Newbies better appreciate it *shakes fist* lol jks fantastic input!!

[MorningDove030202]

Yes, I agree everyone needs to "consider the source" and I often say "The proof is in the pudding!" If a person or group's pudding needs improvement, then move on.

Here is where I disagree:

A coven member will tell you theres only one "right" way - the way the coven they belong to does it.
I don't know if you were just sighting an example or not, but I want to point out that this is not accurate of all covens and/or traditions. A good coven will say "This is the way we do it, it works best for us at this time, but there are other ways that might work better for other individuals or groups." NOT "Our way is the only right way." And also, solitaries can also be of the "My way is the only right way" mode of thought as well.

Covens and Traditions are not "the bad guys", unhealthy people and unhealthy groups are. Lets not sterotype things here, there is room for both people in groups or alone, either in a tradition or not. (Yes you can be a solitary with a tradition.)

Dove

[Fire's Shadow]

I don't know if this one was mentioned yet, but question everything. Don't do something without knowing why you do it or how it is done. Also, trust yourself above all else. Don't take someone's word for something unless you yourself find that it is true.

Well, that's the most important stuff, other than that, just work hard, don't take life too seriously, and make some friends along the way.

[Morrigan_Wolfwind]

Wow. That Troll thing is LENGTHY and detailed, but I think I managed to read about six pages. The only thing that kept my brain from overloading was the fact that I only need a couple of pages for practical use (IE trollspotting.) and the rest was information.

I don't think I can really remember it all, but I do love that story about Covendom and its troll problem.

"Well, yeah, but, well, the troll was so gosh-darned cute!"

"But it's a troll, you say." Jack was making absolutely, completely certain.

"Oh, yes. It certainly is."
-

"...They were always starving the poor thing!"

"You just said trolls are very hungry creatures. Do you imagine anyone could have kept up with the appetite of this troll? All by themselves?"

"Ummm... Probably not."

"So the troll's complaints were blatantly unfair. Just like with the sunglasses, and the bath."

The sheriff looked uncomfortable. "I guess so."

"Kind of a lie, you think?"

"Well, the troll explained how reality is subjective anyway, and it FELT LIKE they were starving it."

"I see. What did Mr. and Mrs. Mayor say about the complaints?"

"Uhm, well, the troll asked us to keep the complaints quiet. Afraid of beatings, you know. And then, next election, we got us a new mayor. One who wouldn't be so mean. You know?"

Jack sighed. "Doesn't seem quite fair. You got rid of the Mayor, on the word of a troll whose tales just don't add up, and you never even bothered to check those stories out with the Mayor or his wife. Sad case. So, whatever happened to them?"

"Well, after a while, uhm, the troll, uhm, well, sort of ate them."

"Ate them?"

"Uhm, yes. Ate them. Mr. and Mrs. Mayor. Both."

"I see. Did you get rid of the troll after that?"

"Certainly not! It was so CUTE!"
-

"...So what finally happened?"

"The troll built a little shack in the mud under the bridge over the river."

"I thought it was afraid of water."

"It got better. Well, I think it did. What it told me was that I'd remembered wrong. Or it had heard the question wrong. Or something."

"You actually talked to the troll after all this?"

"Well, yes. I was asked to speak to the troll. I was representing Village Covendom, so we could work out our differences."

"Did the differences work out okay?"

"Not exactly. It invited me to lunch, and ate two of my men-at-arms. But it promised to stop doing that, if we sent it a child at least once a week. But that was a couple years ago, and it's up to a child every single day now. And we're running out of children. So we need your daughter. I'll be back for your son tomorrow."

:rollingla :rollingla :rollingla :rollingla :rollingla

[cartweel]

If I had been quicker on the draw, I would have said this:

Don't be afraid to PRACTICE! All you are doing is studying if you don't practices the exercises, do the rituals, pull that tarot card every morning!

But she beat me to it. I shake my fist at you, MorningDove!

Practice is how one builds his or her personal 'practice'. Funny how that works, ain'it? If all you do is study and read (of which I am *hugely* guilty) then you'll never turn the authors' path into your own and will never be able to grow beyond the front and back covers.

[Snapdragon]

I really liked what Rasenna and Semicivilized had to say.

Remember, newbies (and everyone else): whatever you'll find in the world, you'll find in the world's religions. No exceptions, no kidding.

Take care of yourselves.

[Hawk Shadowsoul]

Question everyone and everything. Believe no one and nothing unless you experience it firsthand, and even then question it. All reality/truth/fact is subjective and totally open for interpretation. Create your own reality. Be your own god. Then question this reality and defy that god.

Don't be afraid to experiment. There is a lot to be said for caution and being aware of what you're doing. Only a fool would do something risky with no idea of what they're doing. So be a fool once in awhile and put your ass on the line and see what happens. Chances are, it'll hurt real bad. Then you will have learned something. This is a good thing.

Remember that nothing is carved in stone. There are no laws. There are beliefs and theories, but there are no facts. Everything is in flux. The fewer impediments you have in your mind, things like facts and truths and reality, the better you will be able to ride this flux and shape this flux into what you want it to be.

And there's the ubiquitous reading and studying, blah blah blah. Just don't forget to balance the reading with actual firsthand experience. Nothing will teach you faster than experience, whether the experience is "good" or "bad."
Excellent post. Learn to trust your instincts as well. If you get a bad feeling, back off. Never rush. Gain experience gradually, build your foundation well, or risk burning your house down, leaving an empty shell. In this vein, allow your self to "remember" what you already know. None of us can be positive of what is ultimately possible. Be patient.

[Novembers River]

If you feel overwhelmed, take a deep breath and simplify your studies!

When I first began studying I was overwhelmed by the many, many topics within paganism. So I stepped back, picked what I was most drawn to, and studied that topic. Eventually I slowly branched out and studied more of other topics as well.

[Celene]

Learn to know what fluffy books are and try to avoid them as much as possible.

[mtpathy]

Everything that can be learned about magick,needs to first be
experienced through Meditation.
Books on magick for the most part work through the biased
eyes of tradition,If you don't have any idea what tradition you'r
wanting to follow why would you read and trust a book on magick
using that tradition?
Learn to experience magick by stumbling across it on your own
through the simple act of meditation.
There are huge amounts of books out there,that teach nothing other
then techniques of meditation,theres no religious beliefs or people
trying to say that magick can only be practiced this way.
keep your ideas of magick un-biased through the act of self-exploration,
within exploring your own self i promise you will come across magick.