Amythest
February 9th, 2006, 06:38 AM
For the past year my mother has been doing everything she can to loose weight, and finally found someone to help her pay for a gastric bypass. I fear that if she doesn't loose weight soon, she won't live another 5 years. Her health is not all that great. She has problems stemming from Diabetes, to crushed disks in her back (6 of them to be precise). About 16 years ago she had an adrienal gland removed that went hyperactive and started to grow. When it was removed it was about the size of a football, and came within an inch or so from attaching to the aorta. She was in and out of the hospital for several months, and every time she ended up in ICU from complications. She ended up with a staph infection and they had to remove the liner of one of her lungs to get all the infection out. I fear for my mother having this surgery now, because of the pain still left from watching her with tubes in her mouth and arms back 16 years ago. I have read up on the gastric bypasses, and fear all the possible side effects. She told me yesturday the day had been set, and she has to go to Albany only 5 days before my birthday. This was doubly troubling to me, because it was not much before my birthday that my mom came home for the first time after having that adrenal gland removed, and she went back in on my birthday. The doctor back then said that if they had waited another day for the follow-up visit she would not be with us today.
I am proud of her for wanting to loose weight, and I know she can do it. Right now my mom weights nearly 400 pounds and is wheelchair bound. I cry thinking about it, and her up and coming surgery. I want to support her in this decision, but there is that inpenitrable fear of loosing her. The literature that I have read, and heard from other friends who have had family members that had this say that one of the side effects is a sudden and unexplained death. I think that is what scares me the most.
While I was growing up my mom was not there for me alot. She helped raise 2 of my cousins along with me and a mentally retarded brother. Life was not easy for her. And still continues to go down hill. I just wish there was a way of me to express my love for her, but subconsciously I fear her and my father due to reasons, I care not to go into at this time. She has tried to make my childhood up to me in the past year, and I appreciate it. But it seems that when ever something seems to be going okay or in the postive there is always a cloud of doom looming just around the bend to rob me and my family of happiness.
From what I wrote can you understand my fears and trepidations about this good news? Are they founded, and what do you suggest I try to do to make it so I stop crying at this? I am so scared. I love my mom and don't want to loose her so young (58). Please help any way you can...
I am proud of her for wanting to loose weight, and I know she can do it. Right now my mom weights nearly 400 pounds and is wheelchair bound. I cry thinking about it, and her up and coming surgery. I want to support her in this decision, but there is that inpenitrable fear of loosing her. The literature that I have read, and heard from other friends who have had family members that had this say that one of the side effects is a sudden and unexplained death. I think that is what scares me the most.
While I was growing up my mom was not there for me alot. She helped raise 2 of my cousins along with me and a mentally retarded brother. Life was not easy for her. And still continues to go down hill. I just wish there was a way of me to express my love for her, but subconsciously I fear her and my father due to reasons, I care not to go into at this time. She has tried to make my childhood up to me in the past year, and I appreciate it. But it seems that when ever something seems to be going okay or in the postive there is always a cloud of doom looming just around the bend to rob me and my family of happiness.
From what I wrote can you understand my fears and trepidations about this good news? Are they founded, and what do you suggest I try to do to make it so I stop crying at this? I am so scared. I love my mom and don't want to loose her so young (58). Please help any way you can...