Heartbreak

[Ziana]

A friend of mine, and partly family member (on my SO's side by marriage) recently had a baby. They were taking precautions against pregnancy, but we all know birth control pills aren't failproof. They never planned to have a child, but the birth was much anticipated. Anyway, the baby was born on the grandmothers birthday back in December. I got to work yesterday only to find out that the baby had died. He was not sick, and had been to the doctor the day before to get his shots. He was perfectly healthy. My friend got up yesterday morning to check on him, and he was gone. They immediatly tried baby cpr and called an ambulance, but it was to late. The autopsy report hasn't come in yet, so we are all left to wonder why this could happen. I feel so bad for my friend. I talked to the grandmother today and she said that the mother refused to let go of the childs blanket....

The visitation will be tomorrow, and the funeral on Saturday. My SO refuses to go to either, it's just to much for him to handle, but I will be going to both. No matter how hard it would be for me, I can only think how much harder it is on my friend and the rest of the family.

[DreamSpell333]

Im so sorry ziana for your friends and family. All of you are in my thoughts and prayers... I lost my baby Olivia feb 2nd, to anenchephaly.. I had her early,but I sympathize with them... Do they think it might have been sids? My mother lost a baby to it at 3 months,and he was perfectly healthy also...
:hugz: to you..

[Ceres]

How awful for the family! Its terrible to hear this has happened even to strangers. I understand your SO not wanting to go - mine has difficulty with death as well. Can you go with a mutual friend though? It may be more difficult than you imagine once you get there.
There is an increase in SIDS deaths immediately following rotuine vaccinations - the parents may want to look into this if the risks werent explained to them by their doctor.

[Faeawyn]

I am so deeply sorry for your friends loss. I can't even imagine.....My prayers are with you all :hugz:

[Kalika]

:hugz:

I'm so sorry to hear this.

I hope that they are able to find out what happened in order to give them some slight measure of closure.

:hugz: to you and yours.

[ravenmyst]

:huddle: so sorry to hear this, even if the baby wasnt planned it was loved and will be missed.

[Athena-Nadine]

Oh, no. I am so sorry for this loss. What a horrible thing to have happen. It's wonderful that you want to be there for your friend, but please make sure there is someone with whom you can talk because this may affect you more deeply than you expect.

My prayers are with you all.

[Lunacie]

Comforting energies sent for your friends and for you and your SO.
May the spirit of the wee one pass swiftly to the loving arms of the Mother Goddess.

My first thought was also SIDS, they still aren't sure what causes these deaths in babies that seem healthy.

[atropa]

Oh my god! I'm so sorry for your friend. That is absolutely my worst fear. Your husband should go in my opinion. Maybe you should tell him that it's about the family's grief and showing support, not about his discomfort. I'm not being sarcastic when I say that at all, it's just that he may regret not going later. I would have a hard time with it too, I understand his position. Energy sent to your friend and to all of you.

[HorseCrow]

I am so sorry.... :hugz:

[WillowsMuse]

How horribly sad. My sympathy to his family, my thoughts are with them.

[Ziana]

the viewing was last night, and the funeral today. My SO did go to the viewing, but we did not look in at the sleeping angel. I don't think I could have handled it. I told him that no one would blame him if he didn't go, but he decided that he would blame himself, so he sucked it up for the family. Autopsy report will be in in a few weeks, and hopefully my friend can let go of her guilt. Apparently the baby was sleeping in the bed with her and the father, and she thinks she somehow smothered him. Everyone is telling her that it wasn't her fault, and that she didn't, but she can't believe at this point. The father hasn't said a word in days, and at the funeral today he was holding on to my friend like she was the only thing keeping him together, so I have no fears that they will make it through this together. All I could think of today was coming home and holding on to my own child and never letting go.....

[Ceres]

Wow, that must be so hard on her! She may take comfort from knowing that there is a sleep lab at the University of Notre Dame where sleeping parents are monitored while sleeping with their babies and what the founder, Dr James Mckenna, has observed is that mothers are aware of their infants in bed with them the whole night. They are constantly checking the infants to make sure they arent covered up completely and that they have lots of room, even while the parents are in stage four sleep! Only in cases of the parents being drugged or intoxicated with alcohol, or of them being extrmely obese is the child at risk for being smothered.
Its not much comfort in place of a lost child, but it may ease her guilt somewhat to know this is being studied and she wasnt neccessarily in the wrong by choosing to co sleep.
My heart goes out to this family. It just doesnt seem right that a baby dies before he or she even lives.

[Autumn]

I feel for your friend...

Hugs and support to you as well.

It is highly unlikely that the baby smothered. It's much more likely a SIDS death related to the baby vaxes... **Shivers**

If they have a higher risk of SIDS after a round of vaxes why can't they look at what sets those babies apart from babies who have no problems with the vaxes? I don't really expect an answer, it's just a haunting question for me...

[Holly Ariadna]

Oh my God.. I am so scared that that might happen to my son. :( I feel so sorry for those people... I can't even imagine what they must be going through right now.