Kids and Internet Access

[Ceres]

We are having trouble deciding how muh to allow our twelve year old daughter to do on the internet. Having chatted a lot and been a member of all kinds of message boards, I know whats out there and it scares me 8O I saw on the news that one in five children is queried for sex on the internet.

I would let her post here, but I dont want to have to censor my posts. :hahugh: What do you do with your older kids?

[MalPixie]

I don't have any older kids but then again I don't go to chats where I get into conversations like that either so I don't know I guess you would just have to check into all the places she is going and hope that nothing happens I don't know what else to tell you I mean I would let my son play on the internet but when it came to chat things I don't even know if I would let him do it! I mean really other then here I don't even do it! We took all the live chats off our comp completely cause of problems we were haveing just with all the crap that gets on and extra people seeing that you are on and things so this is as close as we get!! Good luck though !!!!:awilly:

[Ceres]

She isnt asking to chat, though she would like to get messenger to talk with her friends who live far enough away that we would have to pay for long distance for her to talk to on the phone. She wants to post on message boards like her friends do, but I am not really comfortable with that because I have read that kids message boards are just the place where sexual predators are hanging around. I monitor her emails already. I made it clear email was NOT going to be a private thing for anyone in our house so if she doesnt want me to know something, she had better tell her friends about it in person :lol: and I will do the same.
Of course, she assures me she is the ONLY kid she knows who isnt allowed to do this stuff.

[KaidaMidnight]

I don't know if she's too old for it.. there is this site http://www.kidscom.com/ that you could check out. it's got games and a "safe" chat room.. worth checking out at least. I know of Neopets.com.. but there are the same amount (if not more) of adults as kids on that site.. but they do monitor all chats and message boards there. there is a link in my siggy, if she doesn't already go there (yes, I play! LOL.. it's fun and I've made a ton of friends through a parents group on there)

[LisaT4P]

My oldest (also a daughter) is 11 and I'm sure these issues will be coming up soon. The phone thing is already starting. :)

As of right now she doesn't have an email address, but I agree that they should be monitered. Our PC is in our living room, so I can keep an eye on what is going on at any given moment.

All 3 of our kids get anywhere from 15 to 30 minute sessions online, sometimes 2x per day. It really depends on the time of day, weekend, schoold day, etc. Right now they are only going to sites like cartoonnetwork & barbie dot com. :)

I think I will try to steer them clear of sites like myspace, etc. when they are older.

And of course, you're the meanest mom in the world because all her friends are allowed to stay up until 3 am and eat ice cream for breakfast too, right? ;)

[illusi0ns4u2luv]

My nephew is living with us and he is 16 years of age. He has a myspace account, I'm the one who told him about myspace. I don't know, he makes me very paranoid because he is constantly hiding what he is saying and telling me not to look at the screen. When I ask him about this he says he isn't trying to hide anything but it is embarrassing to him for me to see the stuff he would say to a friend but not to his aunt. I explained to him that that sort of behavior makes me suspicious, as it would any type of parent, and it's the kids who don't try hide things that get freedom on the internet. Thus far I haven't censored him from websites and what not and he has a little girlfriend who lives in GA that he talks to on the internet and on the phone. He is quite private about it but I guess I trust him. I mean, he has his issues obviously which is why he is here (and because of his mothers issues which in alot of ways cause his), but overall he is a good kid. He has a job and is getting A's and B's in schools. I can go to his myspace any time and see the comments and such that are being left on his page, and I have him added as a friend so if he is posting naughty bulletins and such I would know about that as well. I do get paranoid but like I said, overall I trust him.

Wow, this turned out to be a little long...I started thinking out loud and sorting my own thoughts on the situation. Sorry, lol.

[Shanti]

Ok I see one thing here. Privacy. Kids not wanting to share what they are posting on the net with parents.

First the kids must be made to realize that the 'world' can see their postings. That every creep and what not can see their words, and any pics they post.

They also must know what to watch out for. People they dont know asking for info like a real name and such. MarysAngel that says she is 14 could be an adult creep jacking off! You have to be blunt, and honest with your kids!! No sugar coating for their own safety's sake!!

They also need parents to say what sites they can go to and what they cant. Parents have to be parents.

They will have total freedom to do what ever they want when they are 18 and paying for it all themselves!!

And there is censorship software for parents. Buy it. Use it. At least use what comes with your system, if your system has it built in.

My kids pc is cencored and staying that way.
My 7 year old post on forums. 2 forums.
MW for kids, with my preview first!
And a kids site that doesnt allow immediate posting, no PM's and no chat. All post are screened first before they go up. And it usually takes 24 hours before your post is placed.
But its safe for kids and watched closely. My daughter likes it cause theres several kids that have a PC game in common and they all help each other get through the levels.

And besides being real, blunt and honest about whats out there reading your posted stuff...please do not go for the privacy issue!!
Give me a break!! If they are posting in public and making friends, with people who could be god knows what, e-mail and whatever should not be private. Kids are not going to be able to judge as good as a parent.
Little Sue might have a pic of her new friend MaryAngel, but like I said it good be a dam creep playing her!!

This is the real world today.
Whatch date line. They have been doing specials about online preditors.
Its a prob. A really big prob!! They are everywhere.
Go to these sites. Parents learn yourslves first!!

http://www.safekids.com/

http://www.missingkids.com/

(http://www.missingkids.com/)http://www.fbi.gov/publications/pguide/pguidee.htm

Read this article of what was found on Wikipedia!
Even Wikipedia can contain things you might not want your kid reading!
http://www.perverted-justice.com/opinions/?article=11

This isnt some tiny prob that cant hurt your kid!!
This is a serious and potentially dangerous endevor for our kids.
As good and helpful as the net can be it can be equally threatening!
Be parents not buddies!
Protect your kids!

[Shanti]

Here parents. Check this out. We know iots all fake, but would your kid?
Untill snoopes came along a lot of adults thought it was real!! MWers have been dooped by it.
What would go through a kids head since they dont know its fake and they didnt tell you they found the site!

What sorts of ideas will a kid develope from this sort of info?
Will they be upset? Think its cool? Try it themselves?

Look around the whole site. Check out the kids section too.
http://www.bonsaikitten.com/bknews.html

Teach your kids well. Teach them to share the net with you!!
You need to let them know what is bulldoo and what is not.
Teach them not to keep secrets above all!!

[WokeUpDead]

I saw on the news that one in five children is queried for sex on the internet.

I feel so left out now. Nobody ever wanted me for anything.
I'd say just tell her not to trust anybody on the internet and she should be fine.

[Xentor]

Untill you trust your kid to make the right decisions, and trust the internet not to hurt your kid, you have the duty to educate and stand by them.

How much are you willing to show them? I'd set the same standards as for television. Did you teach them the difference between make-believe and reality? Teach them that goes for internet too.

Do you let your kid read the daily news? Then set the same limits for your internet.

Do you let your kid talk to strangers in the supermarket? Do you let them run around unattended at the playground? Do you watch them when they're out playing hide-and seek? Then act similarly in regards to the internet.

What is safe for your kids, ultimately is up to you and the education you provide. You need to be consistent, and the first steps you let them take into cyberspace should be supervised. Think of it as driving lessons.

[Sun Sprite]

Teach them that it's not them you don't trust, it's people you don't know that you don't trust. Trust has to be earned, and strangers haven't earned it yet.

Oh, and as many people as have the same real name (my hubby is one of dozens with the same first, middle, and last name in our city, all unrealted), it is quite probable that the suzy q they meet on the internet is not the same suzy q they know on the playground.

[Broken Babydoll]

My step-daughter is 12. She has an instant messenger account, but she is only allowed to chat with people she knows. Same with her myspace account. Her profile is friends-only, she lists a fake city, and the only people allowed on her friends-list is people she knows in person. We have ad-blockers, so she doesn't see all the crazy ads on myspace. That's all she does on the net. Her school also requires the internet for homework, so she gets on for that, too.

I guess you could say she's allowed to use the net pretty freely, but we watch and ask questions. She rolls her eyes when we do, but that's normal. We have rules, just like around the house. Some rules are for protection, like putting a fake city on her MySpace and making her profile friends-only. Some are for our own sanity, like she has to be off by 9 PM. We also have all her passwords, so we can get into her accounts whenever we like.

[Ceres]

My step-daughter is 12. She has an instant messenger account, but she is only allowed to chat with people she knows. Same with her myspace account. Her profile is friends-only, she lists a fake city, and the only people allowed on her friends-list is people she knows in person. We have ad-blockers, so she doesn't see all the crazy ads on myspace. That's all she does on the net. Her school also requires the internet for homework, so she gets on for that, too.

I guess you could say she's allowed to use the net pretty freely, but we watch and ask questions. She rolls her eyes when we do, but that's normal. We have rules, just like around the house. Some rules are for protection, like putting a fake city on her MySpace and making her profile friends-only. Some are for our own sanity, like she has to be off by 9 PM. We also have all her passwords, so we can get into her accounts whenever we like.

This sounds like what we are headed for. I am holding off on the messanger until we have a homeschooling session with our homeschool group's resident computer dude so I can make sure about who can access it and how I can check it.
She already does "clickschooling" which is a yahoo group that gives daily links to educational sites and neopets. I am glad to hear other parents monitor it closely to so I am not the meanest mother around, just among the meanies :lol:

[Catiana]

My 17 year old has his own computer in his room. I haven't put any restrictions on him yet, (except of course porn) but I do have the passwords for his e-mail and all of his online accounts and he knows I have them. I have never used them and never looked at anything he's written, but he knows I can at anytime.

[mucgwyrt]

It was also stated on BBC news, that research has shown that chatrooms are also good for adolescents. It helps them become aware of Community and how important it is in our lives, and also helps them develop a greater sense of self-awarness; who they are.

So it's not all bad :)

[WokeUpDead]

My 17 year old has his own computer in his room. I haven't put any restrictions on him yet, (except of course porn) but I do have the passwords for his e-mail and all of his online accounts and he knows I have them.
But he could have accounts you don't know about and be a good porn hider.

[Amethyst Rose]

I only scanned this thread, so someone else may have suggested it.... what about letting your daughter be a member of MW Kids? AFAIK, only kids under 13 and their parents are allowed to be members.