How do I control it?

[~*Woodrose*~]

Hey everyone

I work at a place which interacts with people all the time and whenever a person comes in whos had a realli bad day or is depressed or something it comes to me and i feel bad for a while after they leave.

And the other day i was in the car with my friend who was thinking about the bad things that had happened lately and i felt like there was something wrong with my stomach the whole way home. I asked her and she said she was thinking about the fight shed had with her friend a week ago and had the same queasy stomach feeling

My ability is getting better now but i dont want to have to feel the sadness in the world wherever i go as a force overwhelming me

How do i control it? How can i stop feeling everyone elses feelings?

Luv Woodrose

[Tanemon]

Hey everyone
My ability is getting better now but i dont want to have to feel the sadness in the world wherever i go as a force overwhelming me

How do i control it? How can i stop feeling everyone elses feelings?

I'm not quite sure there is one, universal way to control these empathetic feelngs. However, I used to have them strongly enough that I was sad or uncomfortable too much of the time. I got into sitting meditation (such as is taught in traditions like Zen Buddhism (particularly the Soto branch of Zen) or mantra meditation, from the yoga tradition. These are centering, calming practices that you do on a daily basis. I found this quite a stabilizing influence in my life.

I'm also into Reiki, and there may be a sort of parallel in something I've learned since I was first attuned. Quite a few people I have been in touch with who are attuned to Reiki have talked about how they sometimes had empathetic responses to people's physical symptoms, while giving healing sessions, but - through fully accepting the realization that they could help other people while not taking on their physical sysmtoms - were able to leave this physical-symptom transference behind. It is possible that being involved in the Reiki healing/learning process actually helped them control a trendency toward empathetic responses of a sad or depressing sort.

:sunny: Tanemon

[Aleannah]

you can try shielding - picture yourself in a clear bubble that repels negative thoughts and emotions

[Lunacie]

When I notice I'm feeling icky, I take a few moments to ground and center, then I either call Universal Divine light to flow over me and wash away all the gunk, or I reach into my center (metaphysically) and pull out the gunk, roll it into a ball and throw it deep into the center of the earth to be changed and transformed. These are not your feelings you're picking up, and you don't have to hold onto them. Find some way to cleanse your aura of all that gunk every so often.

Sometimes you'll meet a person who drains energy from you or leaves you feeling gunky. When you're sure that the problem is with that certain person, then visualize unplugging them from your center - the way you'd unplug a lamp cord. And visualize the cord as being attached to one of those self-winding reels so it goes back to the person it came from. It's easy as pie to reattach yourself to someone you love if you decide you still want to be connected to them, but if they're draining you, you simply don't have to allow that.

That may have been off topic, but it's still good advice. ;)

[mtpathy]

Hey everyone

I work at a place which interacts with people all the time and whenever a person comes in whos had a realli bad day or is depressed or something it comes to me and i feel bad for a while after they leave.

And the other day i was in the car with my friend who was thinking about the bad things that had happened lately and i felt like there was something wrong with my stomach the whole way home. I asked her and she said she was thinking about the fight shed had with her friend a week ago and had the same queasy stomach feeling

My ability is getting better now but i dont want to have to feel the sadness in the world wherever i go as a force overwhelming me

How do i control it? How can i stop feeling everyone elses feelings?

Luv Woodrose

alright and i have a question for you if thats alright
1st question
how does a kite fly?
2nd question
what are you doing wrong in feeling others emotions?

[Pesha]

Shielding is key lovey. Once you master shielding it is much easier to be in the world with all the emotions. :hugz:

[mtpathy]

Shielding is key lovey. Once you master shielding it is much easier to be in the world with all the emotions. :hugz:

nope i completely disagree,shielding is a way of hiding,its a way of
shutting off all emotions not just others,and it doesn't help in the
advancement of empathy but instead helps in the de-evolution of it.

[Lunacie]

nope i completely disagree,shielding is a way of hiding,its a way of
shutting off all emotions not just others,and it doesn't help in the
advancement of empathy but instead helps in the de-evolution of it.

That's what happened to me when I created a shield against empathy, I ended up being cut off from ALL emotions, even those I had previously enjoyed.

However, it gave me the space and ease of spirit I needed to learn to discern whether the emotions I was feeling were my own or were picked up from others. Then I could decide whether I wanted to hang onto whatever emotion I was feeling, or get rid of it.

[Kendrah]

nope i completely disagree,shielding is a way of hiding,its a way of
shutting off all emotions not just others,and it doesn't help in the
advancement of empathy but instead helps in the de-evolution of it.

Shielding doesn't cut off all other emotions. And if you shield right, you can only block the ones from other people. It is a great aid to the advancement of empathy. Your empathy doesn't grow if you're completely overloaded.

There are ways of cutting off or killing empathy and your emotions. Don't confuse shielding with them. Shielding is an awesome technique for those of us who are extremely empathic, to the point that being around more then one person is overwhelming.

[mtpathy]

Shielding doesn't cut off all other emotions. And if you shield right, you can only block the ones from other people. It is a great aid to the advancement of empathy. Your empathy doesn't grow if you're completely overloaded.

There are ways of cutting off or killing empathy and your emotions. Don't confuse shielding with them. Shielding is an awesome technique for those of us who are extremely empathic, to the point that being around more then one person is overwhelming.

Shielding doesn't cut off all other emotions. And if you shield right, you can only block the ones from other people.
alright that statments a contradiction,if you can already differentiate
between your emotions and others why do you need to shield to begin with?
It is a great aid to the advancement of empathy.
instead of simply stating that as being fact,explain why it is a great
advancment of empathy.
There are ways of cutting off or killing empathy and your emotions. Don't confuse shielding with them.
i so want to hear this,please continue...
Shielding is an awesome technique for those of us who are extremely empathic, to the point that being around more then one person is overwhelming.
i personally think that shielding is one of the most misunderstood techniques
ever to be practiced,it actually gives people the assumtion that there is a
difference between them and those around them.
its a metaphorical "drawing a line in the sand",nothing more.
i think to many who are empathic see this ability as a curse, instead of the
blessing that it obviously is.
learn to smile and learn by the suffering others give you,they are infact
giving you the experiences of life that couldn't be shared any other way.
or shield and whine about how you hate being in crowds of people because
they make you feel bad,and scared..and make you want to run back home
where your alone.

[cobwebfaerie]

Consider wearing black tourmaline to help you ground with a combination of Ruby. Ruby helps repell negative energy and keep all the chakras aligned. Black Tourmaline repells negative energy and returns it with love.

Learning to ground is really important, truthfully. Without it I'd be a basket case all the time. :)

Good luck!

[Kendrah]

alright that statments a contradiction,if you can already differentiate
between your emotions and others why do you need to shield to begin with?

My emotions and you're emotions are not the same thing, They are emotions but they are coming from different places. I create a bubble around myself to keep your emotions out or filter certain emotions, but I continue to feel mind. It's not too complicated.


instead of simply stating that as being fact,explain why it is a great
advancment of empathy.

Because if you cut yourself off from your emotions, how are you being empathetic? Empathy deals directly with emotions. By shielding, you take away the knee jerk reaction you get from a person. You aren't hit by all their emotions at once and you can get to the root of the problem. It's the difference between jumping into a pool to find something and having the pool poured on your head and still trying to find that thing.

i so want to hear this,please continue...

You can kill your emotions whenever you want. You see those people everyday, those cold people who have decided to cut themselves off. Don't tell me you haven't...


learn to smile and learn by the suffering others give you,they are infact
giving you the experiences of life that couldn't be shared any other way.
or shield and whine about how you hate being in crowds of people because
they make you feel bad,and scared..and make you want to run back home
where your alone.

For those of us who feel the physical and emotional pain and stepping into a crowd is enough to make us sick, that advise is useless. I'm sorry if you don't agree. I'll choose to shield because yes, it does make me feel bad. It makes me psychically ill. Shielding helps me deal with all the crap around me... It's a useful technique.

btw, sorry for the late reply. I don't check this forum very often.

[Lorrie]

Since finding this room, I have been constantly experimenting with shields and with just experiencing the energy. I am finding that at first, I need to shield if there is overwhelming energy, and slowly lower the shield so it comes on a bit more gradually, I avoid getting slammed with the energy. I don't wish to go around not feeling ANY of it, but I do need gradual exposure. If the energy slams into me, it feels like everything in me is short- circuited and chaotic and then it takes me a really long time to recover, sometimes a few days! Maybe some people are unable to handle the strong energy that someone emits, if that is the case, it's not a matter of a constant shield, just one for certain energies, there is nothing wrong with that, it is just self- protection. Every person is different, there is no method that is for everyone, each person needs to listen to all suggestions and find what works, whether it is no shield and get used to it, or shield from everything to be able to function. For me, when it is too overwhelming, mentally "cutting the cord" has been a quick fix that saves me from having to hide from the world for a few days to recover myself.

[mtpathy]

My emotions and you're emotions are not the same thing, They are emotions but they are coming from different places. I create a bubble around myself to keep your emotions out or filter certain emotions, but I continue to feel mind. It's not too complicated.



Because if you cut yourself off from your emotions, how are you being empathetic? Empathy deals directly with emotions. By shielding, you take away the knee jerk reaction you get from a person. You aren't hit by all their emotions at once and you can get to the root of the problem. It's the difference between jumping into a pool to find something and having the pool poured on your head and still trying to find that thing.



You can kill your emotions whenever you want. You see those people everyday, those cold people who have decided to cut themselves off. Don't tell me you haven't...



For those of us who feel the physical and emotional pain and stepping into a crowd is enough to make us sick, that advise is useless. I'm sorry if you don't agree. I'll choose to shield because yes, it does make me feel bad. It makes me psychically ill. Shielding helps me deal with all the crap around me... It's a useful technique.

btw, sorry for the late reply. I don't check this forum very often.

no worries on the not checking in this thread very often comment.
when it comes to these kinds of posts i tend to speak pretty matter-of-factly
and most times people think that because of this im saying that
me doing it this way,means that this is the only way of doing it
which couldn't be further from the truth.

i suppose for me empathy dosen't just deal with emotion but is a
mental experience as well,thats probably the difference.
I still believe that shielding is a failed technique. the simple statments
you've made "that shielding helps me deal with all the crap around me"
as well as your other comment "for us that feel the physical and emotional
pain,and stepping into a crowd is enough to make us sick".
this dosen't make any sense to me at all if the shielding technique actually
worked.
by these statments i sermise that shielding is a method of seperating
yourself from your environment,that its this concious seperation that
amplifies the emotions of others instead of dulls them.
that even if the shielding technique was used correctly,dulling the emotional
experiences you feel from others only makes one want to hide more from the
experience of empathy,not confront them.
that when the time comes that you do confront empathy again your even
less prepared to handle the emotions that come to you because of prolonged
shielding.
this to me seems like it would build more of a phobia as in your ealier
statment.
"for us that feel the physical and emotional
pain,and stepping into a crowd is enough to make us sick".

more then not,im simply trying to give the new people that are finding
themselves involved within this a way out that isn't shielding.
as that is hands down the most common way of dealing with empathy.

[Kendrah]

no worries on the not checking in this thread very often comment.
when it comes to these kinds of posts i tend to speak pretty matter-of-factly
and most times people think that because of this im saying that
me doing it this way,means that this is the only way of doing it
which couldn't be further from the truth.

I just forget. I post and if I don't see in on the main page, I completely forget. LOL.

Let me explain my empathic experience. When I'm with someone who is deeply depressed and wants to committe suicide, I feel the same way. I know it's coming from X but it hits me so strongly and I feel that I want to do the same, that usually it's hard for me to seperate myself from that. Same with anger, love, ect. Shielding allows me to feel that emotions but it doesn't become mine and it doesn't overtake me. I can feel X is deeply depressed but it isn't me.

I hope that makes sense.

[Lunacie]

<snip>
more then not,im simply trying to give the new people that are finding
themselves involved within this a way out that isn't shielding.
as that is hands down the most common way of dealing with empathy.

I read back through your posts in this thread and it seems you've mainly said that shielding doesn't work well and there are better ways to handle what some Empaths feel so strongly. Would you please tell us about some of those other ways?

[mtpathy]

I read back through your posts in this thread and it seems you've mainly said that shielding doesn't work well and there are better ways to handle what some Empaths feel so strongly. Would you please tell us about some of those other ways?

ive given many different examples of various ways of dealing with
empathy other then through shielding methods.
Methods "such as a concious practice in learning to
differentiate",are within the MW classroom (magick through empathy).
thats the one of learning to conciously send and recieve, and by this
learning to differentiate between the two.
Other examples, ive attempted to explain through the usage of imagery
such as flying a kite.for people to meditate on and come to there own
understanding and personal practice of using,Ive personally found using
simple imagery to convey a philosophical practice tends to work very well
in this kind of situation,but then im a very big advocate of zen.
As well within the MW classroom "magick through empathy",i used one of
the easiest methods and most natural "imo",method ive ever stumbled across.
that being, learning to experience others emotion through color as well as
through vibration. in this way it hints at the process of constructing thought
and imo leads to differentiation by realisation,instead of a constructed
process such as the sending and recieving method above.
Im not saying that shielding is wrong,im just saying there are other ways
that are less known.

[Lorrie]

I had seen that class in the CoT, but never paid attention to it, I thought it was just about using empathy for magik, and that wasn't something I was interested in! Maybe I'll have to look through it, I just want to learn how to keep it from knocking me senseless! I am having a little success with my grandson now. When I noticed he was draining me, I cut the cord. The poor little guy froze, looked confused then scared, then threw himself on me with his arms around my neck hugging me really close! I wonder if he has been doing this as some kind of security thing? Once I got the cord cut I was able to keep myself from getting the energies slammed into me, also. It's like he was draining my energy into him, then I was getting it all slammed back into me. Last time before this that I watched him, it took two and a half days for me to recover from him.

[Lunacie]

mtpathy, thanks for sharing those ideas in this thread as well. Wish you'd added links to the threads where you've talked about them in more depth but oh well, that's what the search engine is for, eh? I'd like to read more about the kite-imagery and the color association.



Wow Lorrie, how old is your grandson? Probably not old enough to realize what he was doing, eh? Do you think he does that with other people too?

When I first learned about people being connected to us that way I was taught to cut those cords, but that seems... I dunno, drastic or violent or something. I recently learned about seeing the cord as being "plugged into" my aura or my energy and simply "unplugging" the cord and watching it as it slides back to the other person like it's a garden hose on one of those auto-winding reels. :lol: That way you're not damaging the other person's cord and you're not severing the relationship with that person - unless of course that's what you want to do. ;)

[Hawk Shadowsoul]

I just learned last night that the real secret may be to open yourself completely. What a bitch that one was.

[Lorrie]

mtpathy, thanks for sharing those ideas in this thread as well. Wish you'd added links to the threads where you've talked about them in more depth but oh well, that's what the search engine is for, eh? I'd like to read more about the kite-imagery and the color association.



Wow Lorrie, how old is your grandson? Probably not old enough to realize what he was doing, eh? Do you think he does that with other people too?

When I first learned about people being connected to us that way I was taught to cut those cords, but that seems... I dunno, drastic or violent or something. I recently learned about seeing the cord as being "plugged into" my aura or my energy and simply "unplugging" the cord and watching it as it slides back to the other person like it's a garden hose on one of those auto-winding reels. :lol: That way you're not damaging the other person's cord and you're not severing the relationship with that person - unless of course that's what you want to do. ;)



He is three, he has no idea what he is doing, so now that I kind of see what is happening, Maybe all of us around him can help him drain the excess, help him deal with it, and try to keep him from sapping others energy! He seems to know that I have something to do with the sudden change, I can tell that by how he looks at me. Now maybe I will try to just unplug and let him down easily now that I know for sure that is what is happening, and maybe hug him as it is done so he has comfort. I explained to his mom how to find this thread, so if anyone has any gentle suggestions for one so young, we would appreciate it! He is a very loving child as long as he doesn't get ahold of anyones energy, then he, well, I explained it to Jamie( his mom) as like watching a racketball bounce off walls. I don't know if he is seeing this energy as comfort, attention, or exactly what. I don't think we can teach him how to use it or control it for a few years yet!

[Lunacie]

Well, that's a toughie. With you and with his mommy, you can just keep pulling the plug while letting him know he's loved and cared for. As he gets older and goes to school and plays with other children more, they won't have a clue what he's doing or how to deal with it.

Hmmm, maybe if you teach him to draw energy from the earth and the moon and the sun and the stars and the wind and the water...? Maybe that way he would find that those sources are safe to draw energy from and hopefully he will learn that it's not polite to draw energy from people without their permission.

[mtpathy]

within my yahoo 360 blog this is where im going to get into the
actual working of magick through the various techniques that are
within the CoT: class on MW,magick through empathy.
http://360.yahoo.com/my_profile.html


And for those that are intrested in the basic techniques of using
empathy "within my MW CoT:magick through empathy then please
click this link http://www.mysticwicks.com/forumdisplay.php?f=218 .

[Lunacie]

Thank you for posting the links, I hope the information will help some of those who post here. Because of my ADD I still can't read your posts and make any sense of them myself.

[Lorrie]

MT: I will be checking out both threads, even if something doesn't apply to me now, it may in the future! I want to find out all I can so that I can better understand it all. Woodrose:, I hope that through my "stealing" your thread, maybe you have found something useful also! Sorry about that! You at least have a few different views to try so you can see if any of them work for you! If not, let us know and maybe we can give you more ideas to try! Lunacie: I agree, he is in a special school right now to help him talk, he seems to be getting along fine there, they send a letter home each day with the kids so parents know how it is going. Until he is old enough to understand what is happening to him, all we can do is try to help him through it the best we can. Besides when he is at school, he is usually with one or both parents, or me. Hopefully we can all work together and keep it from getting out of hand!

[Lorrie]

MT, I tried your 360 link, it told me to sign in, when I did instead of directing me to your page it created one for me, which isn't a bad thing, I now have a place to put up my genealogy info! If you could try the link again, please? I have the CoT lessons all printed off already, I am currently working on Energy Basics amd Aura's, and have a few more also to go through, I hope to get to yours soon. Thanks!!!

[mtpathy]

MT, I tried your 360 link, it told me to sign in, when I did instead of directing me to your page it created one for me, which isn't a bad thing, I now have a place to put up my genealogy info! If you could try the link again, please? I have the CoT lessons all printed off already, I am currently working on Energy Basics amd Aura's, and have a few more also to go through, I hope to get to yours soon. Thanks!!!

weird...i just tried the link and it took me to the correct
page,maybe you were signed into Y messenger or something
so it directed you to start your own page lol.
if anyone has any problems with the link let me know and ill
give another link instead.

[Lunacie]

http://360.yahoo.com/login.html?.done=http%3A%2F%2F360.yahoo.com%2Fmy_profile.html&.src=360

I guess I forgot to mention that... this is where it took me.

[mtpathy]

It is a class about using magick through empathy.
but using magick through empathy is "imo" a very
personnel thing, so instead i gave lessons in various
ways of manipulating energy through empathy,and
let the "magick" of using these techniques be found
on there own through practice.