Sermon 35: Killing Little Billy.

[Little Billy]

What's the matter, Bunkie? You say that some jackass with one schtick to his name derailed your thread? You say he didn't take your cherished beliefs seriously, and told jokes while you were busy enlightening people with your informed and dearly held opinions?

You say he giggles like a loon at inappropriate times, and has badwrong ideas about authority, moral or otherwise? You say he responds to your carefully crafted manifestos with a one-liner? That he acts like he has a head full of broken glass, and a heart full of hate for all that is just and decent and good? You say he refuses to take sides between the two packs of dumbasses that pretend to oppose each other, like every good American should?

You say that the worst part is that you halfway believe that he really thinks this way, and isn't just clowning? That he REALLY despises America and apple pie and rainy days and long walks in the park? You're beginning to think that he isn't joking when he makes fun of the president and the free market(tm)? And maybe you think that he shouldn't be allowed to run loose?

Well, you'd be right, Bunkie, because - as a Subgenius(tm) - he is all this and more. He, and 30,000 people like him really DO despise this toxic dump we like to call "modern civilization", and he'll do everything he can to jam up the gears with his asshattery...Whether through daily crap like malfunctioning toilets and ATMs, to buggering with a federal election, albeit peripherally (and legally, too, which makes it even funnier).

He really DOES laugh at the GOP and the pathetic Dems and the clowns in the so-called "third parties". He really IS totally opposed to everything that most of you hold dear (which, incidentally, isn't what you SAY you hold dear). He really DOES have contempt for the "mainstream"...in fact, he believes that the "mainstream" IS the problem, not the litmus test for a solution.

He, and those like him, of course, are powerless. Tell yourself this, and ignore the fact that there are thousands more like him, and more every day, and that while one termite can't eat a house, 30,000+ termites will tear that sucker down, eventually...and you can't even see the damage until it is too late.

So, Bunkie, you'd better get cracking. Kill Little Billy, and everyone like him, before he wrecks your precious America, keys your SUV, corrupts the children, does something perverse to your dawg, and barbeques the cat (again). You don't even have to feel BAD about killing him, because he really isn't like you. He doesn't see the value of traditional American beliefs. He doesn't appreciate all that modern culture and the Free Market(tm) has brought you, and - worst of all - he's proud of these facts.

Kill the brute, before he rants again.

Or kill me.

[eldora_avalon]

I'm waiting until at least after Little Billy is done campaigning for the Republicans because I can't wait to see how this turns out.:awilly: _inabox_ :hehehehe:

[smckim]

WOH!!!!! Dude are you ok??? Me thinks it sounds like your head is going to explode!!!! HEY!!!!! YOU!!!! Yeah you...you know who you are!!! What did you do to cause this "Happy go lucky, fun loving prankster", to go off on a rant like this?? Well I hope your happy with yourself dork!!!....wait...what?..
this was just a joke?...oh...wise guy aye?....why you..._wedgie_ _wedgie_

[Little Billy]

WOH!!!!! Dude are you ok??? Me thinks it sounds like your head is going to explode!!!! HEY!!!!! YOU!!!! Yeah you...you know who you are!!! What did you do to cause this "Happy go lucky, fun loving prankster", to go off on a rant like this?? Well I hope your happy with yourself dork!!!....wait...what?..
this was just a joke?...oh...wise guy aye?....why you..._wedgie_ _wedgie_


If you think it's a joke, well by "Bob", you'll never get the punchline!

[smckim]

Sorry about that. Well then what the hell happened to get you so pissed?

[Little Billy]

Sorry about that. Well then what the hell happened to get you so pissed?


Hehe...who is pissed?

That's my normal rant mode. Ask Eldora, she'll tell you (she has had to put up with approx 120 of my rants. Link upon request.)

[eldora_avalon]

Sorry about that. Well then what the hell happened to get you so pissed?
I don't think he's pissed. Well, not any more than usual as near as I can tell. I'll let him explain beyond that.

[eldora_avalon]

Hehe...who is pissed?

That's my normal rant mode. Ask Eldora, she'll tell you (she has had to put up with approx 120 of my rants. Link upon request.)
:awilly: :hehehehe: _inabox_

[Little Billy]

I don't think he's pissed. Well, not any more than usual as near as I can tell. I'll let him explain beyond that.


No more than usual.

LB,
Has managed to keep from grabbing the chainsaw and heading up front.

[DocBruce]

No more than usual.

LB,
Has managed to keep from grabbing the chainsaw and heading up front.

Don't start the tri-state killing spree without me.

[Little Billy]

Don't start the tri-state killing spree without me.

No sweat. Don't forget the Mannlicher-Carcano.

[DocBruce]

No sweat. Don't forget the Mannlicher-Carcano.

I thought I was supposed to bring the Bactine and the Band-aids.

And the bourbon.

[Little Billy]

I thought I was supposed to bring the Bactine and the Band-aids.

And the bourbon.


Little Billy will now admit that he doesn't drink. _inabox_

[DocBruce]

Little Billy will now admit that he doesn't drink. _inabox_

So we skip the bourbon.

[Fire's Shadow]

Little Billy will now admit that he doesn't drink. _inabox_

NOW I want to kill you.

[DocBruce]

NOW I want to kill you.

Why?

That just means more for us.

And we have a designated driver.

[Rhisiart]

61346

THE MOVIE!!!

[Fire's Shadow]

Why?

That just means more for us.

And we have a designated driver.

Ah hah! Good point.

[DocBruce]

61346

THE MOVIE!!!

Oh he is gonna spoo when he sees that.

[DocBruce]

Ah hah! Good point.

Just think of the sheer suffering of hauling our drunk, obnoxious asses around town.

Talk about your fates worse than death.

[Rhisiart]

Oh he is gonna spoo when he sees that.

Heh Its just a quick one though, had to get it out there before someone else did!

[DocBruce]

Heh Its just a quick one though, had to get it out there before someone else did!

Bet if you made a wallpaper of it and PM'ed it to him, you'd have a friend for life.

Not that that's necessarily a good thing. :lol:

[Rhisiart]

I'll have to make a better one in Photoshop...I need to download Paintshop sometime! I dood it!

*edit...aaaand I found it on Limewire. Now to figure out how ta run the little f'tard...

[Little Billy]

61346

THE MOVIE!!!


*spoo*

[Little Billy]

Just think of the sheer suffering of hauling our drunk, obnoxious asses around town.

Talk about your fates worse than death.

That's why I keep a bottle of epicac handy.

[synaptyx]

Why?

That just means more for us.

And we have a designated driver.
YUO DON'T WANT TO RIDE SHOTGUN WITH LITTEL BEELEE.

Just sayin'

[Little Billy]

YUO DON'T WANT TO RIDE SHOTGUN WITH LITTEL BEELEE.

Just sayin'


This is the correct Maria.

[DocBruce]

YUO DON'T WANT TO RIDE SHOTGUN WITH LITTEL BEELEE.

Just sayin'

Why not?

I like to live dangerously.

[Little Billy]

Why not?

I like to live dangerously.


Because that's Maria's seat.

[DocBruce]

That's why I keep a bottle of epicac handy.

Well at least it's not Anabuse crushed into a bottle of whiskey.:lol:

[Little Billy]

Well at least it's not Anabuse crushed into a bottle of whiskey.:lol:


Yet.

[Gypsy flower]

may I join in the plot to Kill Bill, I will do anything
OK almost anything:hahugh:

[Little Billy]

may I join in the plot to Kill Bill, I will do anything
OK almost anything:hahugh:


Everyone PROMISES that they'll kill me, but they never do.

Frankly, I'm beginning to become discouraged.

[DocBruce]

Everyone PROMISES that they'll kill me, but they never do.

Frankly, I'm beginning to become discouraged.

You put Anabuse in my whiskey and I PROMISE to kill you.

While I'm puking all over you.

[Little Billy]

You put Anabuse in my whiskey and I PROMISE to kill you.

While I'm puking all over you.


Jebus. Poison ONE guy, and they never let you forget it.

[DocBruce]

Jebus. Poison ONE guy, and they never let you forget it.

Don't get me wrong, I'm in total admiration of the idea.

I'm just not as sure as I was that I want to stop in Tuscon to say howdy on my way to Tempe now. :lol:

[Jenne]

Most excellent rant, LB. Very appropo!

[Cain]

Rules for RPGers: If you meet Little Billy in a random encounter, you must kill him for mucho experience points.

[Little Billy]

Don't get me wrong, I'm in total admiration of the idea.

I'm just not as sure as I was that I want to stop in Tuscon to say howdy on my way to Tempe now. :lol:

Well, I wouldn't worry if I were you. You don't abuse your wife, right?

[eldora_avalon]

Well, I wouldn't worry if I were you. You don't abuse your wife, right?
Or give anabuse to someone who is already drunk? That &^*%er deserved what he got. That is one of my favorite stories/rants/parpables/sermons/thingsyouwrite things.

[DocBruce]

Well, I wouldn't worry if I were you. You don't abuse your wife, right?

Annoy? Yes.

Aggravate? Yes.

Abuse? NEVER.

Guess I'm safe on this count,at least. :lol:

[Salanthos]

_handclapp
good sermon. Highly amusing...

[Little Billy]

_handclapp
good sermon.


Thanks.




Highly amusing...

If you think it's a joke, by "Bob" you'll never get the punchline...

[Salanthos]

But I don't think its a joke. That's why its highly amusing

and I'd like the link to your other rants. I've read you others here, but that is certainly not all of them.

[Little Billy]

But I don't think its a joke. That's why its highly amusing

and I'd like the link to your other rants. I've read you others here, but that is certainly not all of them.

Sure:

http://poee.co.uk/boards/viewforum.php?f=15

It works best if you use the indexes.

[Lorrie]

.... Can't kill him, who would challenge our beliefs and make us actually THINK??????????? Besides, this forum would get kinda boring without his posts!:fpraise:

[Little Billy]

.... Can't kill him, who would challenge our beliefs and make us actually THINK??????????? Besides, this forum would get kinda boring without his posts!:fpraise:

http://poee.co.uk/boards/images/smiles/tgrr.gif

[Tzhebee]

I wonder....Did you die an honorable death LB, or has it been swept under the rug?

[Oonagh]

It seems his death was swept under the rug.

I would hate to see the closets in this place, the skeletons have to be getting terribly piled up.

[mol]

It seems his death was swept under the rug.

I would hate to see the closets in this place, the skeletons have to be getting terribly piled up.
Yes! And here is another one!

YOU! =]

[Anubis]

Yes! And here is another one!

YOU! =]


GOOD THING YOU'RE NOT A BIGOT, YOU SKINNY LITTLE PERV!

[Xentor]

GOOD THING YOU'RE NOT A BIGOT, YOU SKINNY LITTLE PERV!

OMG! Like, a troll, dude! KTHXBuhBye!

[PeleRising]

Yes! And here is another one!

YOU! =]

Another fine example of the rule of Respect in action...

OMG! Like, a troll, dude! KTHXBuhBye!

Monkey see... monkey do!

What they forgot to tell us when they returned us to the "Respect" rule was that they didnt have to be respectful at all. If you look back at the "Community Email: No more Silence" thread... If you look at the thread called "Why do the Admins do the things they do" thread you can see lovely examples of the "respect" they show others... its a shame... cause MW used to be someplace really special... now its just a parody of what it used to be... run by a deluded individual and his sycophants.

[Xentor]

Another fine example of the rule of Respect in action...



Monkey see... monkey do!

What they forgot to tell us when they returned us to the "Respect" rule was that they didnt have to be respectful at all. If you look back at the "Community Email: No more Silence" thread... If you look at the thread called "Why do the Admins do the things they do" thread you can see lovely examples of the "respect" they show others... its a shame... cause MW used to be someplace really special... now its just a parody of what it used to be... run by a deluded individual and his sycophants.
Wow. Did someone spit in your soup this morning?

Let me clarify, because I can just predict the parade of drama coming up:
if you troll, you disrespect the entire community, and since my job is to protect the entire community, I get to kick you out. It's that simple.

However, if you piss me off, I have to hold back, or I get kicked out myself. Capiche?

[GEBS]

Another fine example of the rule of Respect in action...



Monkey see... monkey do!

What they forgot to tell us when they returned us to the "Respect" rule was that they didnt have to be respectful at all. If you look back at the "Community Email: No more Silence" thread... If you look at the thread called "Why do the Admins do the things they do" thread you can see lovely examples of the "respect" they show others... its a shame... cause MW used to be someplace really special... now its just a parody of what it used to be... run by a deluded individual and his sycophants.



Perhaps you should find a forum where the rules are applied to your satisfaction. Obviously this one is not for you.

Thread closed.