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View Full Version : Instructions for 21st Century Americans(tm):



Little Billy
March 6th, 2006, 09:14 PM
Welcome to the 21st Century, citizen. You have successfully managed to piss away just about every liberty you were born with.

Congratulations.

Thing is, now you will have to learn how to adjust to living in a police state...so Little Billy has a few pointers for you.

1. Pledge allegiance to whatever flag they offer. Smile while you do so, no matter what you really feel. Living in a police state may be bad, but it isn't as bad as the re-education camps.

2. As above, never give them a clue as to how you really feel.

3. Quietly teach your children about how things used to be. There's a chance they will be smarter and braver than you are, and may actually take action to strike down the corporations/government/etc, where we stood still and did nothing.

4. Learn to spot the snitches. This is - without doubt - going to be the single most important skill an American(tm) can have, over the next 20 years.

5. Stop blaming the president. You did this to yourself.

That is all. You may now return to your labors.

Baron von Hoopla
March 7th, 2006, 10:26 AM
Welcome to the 21st Century, citizen. You have successfully managed to piss away just about every liberty you were born with.

Congratulations.

Thing is, now you will have to learn how to adjust to living in a police state...so Little Billy has a few pointers for you.

1. Pledge allegiance to whatever flag they offer. Smile while you do so, no matter what you really feel. Living in a police state may be bad, but it isn't as bad as the re-education camps.

2. As above, never give them a clue as to how you really feel.

3. Quietly teach your children about how things used to be. There's a chance they will be smarter and braver than you are, and may actually take action to strike down the corporations/government/etc, where we stood still and did nothing.

4. Learn to spot the snitches. This is - without doubt - going to be the single most important skill an American(tm) can have, over the next 20 years.

5. Stop blaming the president. You did this to yourself.

That is all. You may now return to your labors.

Also: pretend to read the Bible in public.

Dawa Lhamo
March 7th, 2006, 11:18 AM
Also: pretend to read the Bible in public.Reading? Reading is not allowed. We must accept whatever they tell us it says. Geez, the next thing that follows reading will be ideas. And you KNOW how dangerous those are.

lol I have this book called "Field Guide to the Apocalypse", which basically just gives advice based on hundreds of apocalyptic movies. ^_^ I'm reminded of it, because one of the chapters is "How to Conceal Free Will"...

Tashi delek!
Dawa Lhamo

Baron von Hoopla
March 7th, 2006, 12:49 PM
Repeat: PRETEND to read the Bible.

Dawa Lhamo
March 7th, 2006, 12:54 PM
Repeat: PRETEND to read the Bible. Just checking... Can never be too careful, you know. ^_^

Baron von Hoopla
March 7th, 2006, 01:47 PM
;)!

Baron von Hoopla
March 7th, 2006, 01:48 PM
Also, YES.

Jenne
March 7th, 2006, 02:05 PM
Welcome to the 21st Century, citizen. You have successfully managed to piss away just about every liberty you were born with.

Congratulations.

Thing is, now you will have to learn how to adjust to living in a police state...so Little Billy has a few pointers for you.

1. Pledge allegiance to whatever flag they offer. Smile while you do so, no matter what you really feel. Living in a police state may be bad, but it isn't as bad as the re-education camps.

2. As above, never give them a clue as to how you really feel.

3. Quietly teach your children about how things used to be. There's a chance they will be smarter and braver than you are, and may actually take action to strike down the corporations/government/etc, where we stood still and did nothing.

4. Learn to spot the snitches. This is - without doubt - going to be the single most important skill an American(tm) can have, over the next 20 years.

5. Stop blaming the president. You did this to yourself.

That is all. You may now return to your labors.

1. Doing that already. And I have the requisite witnesses (kindergarten teachers--they're more valuabel than you think!).

2. Ok, this will be hard. *poker face needs work*

3. Done and done!

4. No prob. Was trained as a snitch in my, ahem, formative years. Easy to spot one of your own.

5. Eff that. I didn't vote for the Waste of Skin(tm).

Jenne
March 7th, 2006, 02:06 PM
Repeat: PRETEND to read the Bible.

How about I spout off the odd verse or so from what I remember back in the olden days?

I can still do that at will.

*quite talented, even in crotchety old age*

Meabh23
March 7th, 2006, 03:30 PM
How about I spout off the odd verse or so from what I remember back in the olden days?

I can still do that at will.

*quite talented, even in crotchety old age*

This means you will shape up for the New America.

Little Billy
March 7th, 2006, 08:59 PM
5. Eff that. I didn't vote for the Waste of Skin(tm).

What did you do when citizens were held without charge or counsel? What did you do when the government started spying on citizens?

Cain
March 7th, 2006, 09:08 PM
What did you do when citizens were held without charge or counsel? What did you do when the government started spying on citizens?

We sat on our asses and bitched on internet forums.

Little Billy
March 7th, 2006, 10:01 PM
We sat on our asses and bitched on internet forums.

169% Troof.

Some of us also did other annoying yet useless things.

Cain
March 7th, 2006, 10:05 PM
169% Troof.

Some of us also did other annoying yet useless things.

Yup. I currently have that option in front of me. You'll see over at EB&G.

Little Billy
March 7th, 2006, 10:15 PM
Yup. I currently have that option in front of me. You'll see over at EB&G.


Okay.

LB,
Is up for any program.

Cain
March 7th, 2006, 10:16 PM
Okay.

LB,
Is up for any program.

Nothing you can really help with in that sense, its more asking for advice/opinions. But its appreciated.

Little Billy
March 7th, 2006, 10:30 PM
Nothing you can really help with in that sense, its more asking for advice/opinions. But its appreciated.


Um, maybe you oughta give me a link.

Philosophia
March 8th, 2006, 02:40 AM
Include: No art, literature or anything that may cause your mind to open in ways that may offend the President (sic).

MM, who has just returned back...

Sitalique
June 16th, 2007, 05:12 PM
Bumped for still being relevent, maybe moreso now.

Bettie
June 17th, 2007, 12:42 AM
Good post.

Just a quick question, I figured by the fact that there was a Discordian forum, that there'd be - ta-dah! - Discordians here. (How's that for cold, hard logic? I scare myself sometimes..) Anyway, it seems that's not the case, most of these posts are about a year old. Is everyone hiding? Dead? Just really, really shy?

Sitalique
June 17th, 2007, 03:37 AM
Most all the discordians have been paper bagged. Very, very few are left around here.

Bettie
June 17th, 2007, 05:55 AM
Paper bagged??

Eternal Night
June 17th, 2007, 06:00 AM
Read below the user title hun!! they all have the same thing written below ;)

Bettie
June 17th, 2007, 09:50 AM
Aw, crap, I'm such an idiot sometimes. I was too busy reading the posts to pay much attention to the usernames. I get it now. Kinda sucks, actually.

LadyWinter
June 17th, 2007, 12:34 PM
Yup it does but there are other discordian places you can go to seek them out and learn from their mind blowingly cool minds......Places they dont feel quite so hemmed in.

Winter
not discordian just a groupy of theirs:cheers: