Ocd

[Luminessence]

I have obsessive-compulsive disorder. I've had it since I was five or six. It's a lot better now than it used to be, but I've only recently been realizing how deeply-rooted it is. All my irrational fears, and having to ask for reassurance over and over and still not being convinced, and my being unable to quit worrying about things even when I know there's no need to worry about them, all come from the OCD, just as much as things like how I used to have to look over my shoulder 64 times whenever the malicious part of my brain told me to.

And it's really frustrating, because I feel like I should be able to control it. I should be able to control my own mind. That's what other people tell me, too; they'll tell me there's no need to worry about something, and tell me to just stop, but I can't. I can't make thoughts go away and not come back; they come back whether I want them to or not. It's only recently that I realized this was from the OCD; before, I couldn't figure out why they wouldn't explain to me how to do this, and why they thought it was so easy. And I still kind of feel like a failure. I believe we as humans have all sorts of control; I believe in magic; and yet I can't get my own mind to do what I want it to do. I can't get it to stop thinking things that are irrational, or convincing me to do things that are irrational, even when I know they're irrational. I feel like a hypocrite.

And I want it to go away. I want to know what it's like to have moments in which there is no fear or anxiety, not even lurking in the background, and I want to own my mind instead of being at war with it. As I said, it's better than it used to be, so maybe there's hope... but I keep reading things that say that people with OCD are basically stuck with it forever and it will never go away. But I can't live the rest of my life like this. I'm scared that they're right, and that there's no way out.

[AineDanu]

Lum - i'm sorry that you are going through this and I can understand why it would upset you so much - no one wants to feel they are not in control of their own mind and thoughts and life. However I do not see where this makes you a hypocrite in any way and I think you are incredible to be facing this issue headon and trying to change it the best you can to make yourself happy. Best of luck to you!!

[Lunacie]

I haven't done much research on OCD, but I know it's related to ADD, which I have myself. There has been a lot of research on ADD and lots of really helpful books have been written about it. My youngest sister has OCD and I really should do some studying, she annoys the p*ss out of all of her siblings including me, but I guess she can't help it anymore than I can help being muddleheaded and confuzzled when I'm not taking my supplements.

Have you done much research on OCD? Have you talked to a doctor about maybe taking some meds? (I don't take meds but I've been taking supplements - fish oil capsules and magnesium). I know that getting a "coach" to help develop coping skills is a good thing for ADDers, maybe a coach would help with your OCD as well?

Have you looked for an online forum where you can discuss all this stuff with other OCDers? I know there is a sub-forum for OCD on the ADD forum I visit.
http://www.addforums.com/forums/index.php?referrerid=11

[aislin_ryann]

:hugz: I am a fellow OCD sufferer. It is difficult to deal with. Have you sought therapy for it? I used to have it really severe. I used to have to do everything 8 times and everything had to be in groups of 8. I also had/have irrational fears. I found that talking about it helps. And when the fears start to creep up, I tell myself I am being irrational and things are ok. I say a little prayer to the God/Goddess and ask them to help me focus on something else, and it works. :) If you ever need to talk, pm me. There used to be an OCD support group in my home down, but it has gone to the wayside. If I find anything of help, I can send it your direction. I am also sending some energies your way! :hugz:

[Kendrah]

I have OCD as well. It hit me hard when I realized everything I was, practically, was this disease. I took it very hard. It seemed all my fears and passions were driven by OCD. I hate it.

[Cristelle]

I have OCD and when I realized there was something wrong with me (at age 11) My mom took me to get therapy.

The first woman I went to visit I did not like AT ALL and the second I liked (I was really lucky to have found her only on the second try)

Getting therapy from someone who you are comfortable with is very important. Make sure if you ever consider seeing a therapist that you find one that you are sure you like. Even if it takes meeting with a couple of different ones. Someone you do not connect with will have a hard time helping you.

I have social phobia as well so getting me to even see/meet a doctor was very difficult. And it took a while for the whole trust thing with my therapist to kick in.

But after a few monthes of therapy my doctor decided that I could benefit a lot from medication. I had to try a few dosages and meds till I found something I was happy with. This is not always easy for most people (since some meds affect your mood) but it is worth it in the end.

If you notice something you don't like about what the medication does to you, simply dicuss it with your therapist and it will be decided if it's a side affect that you cannot live with. Sometimes meds do more good than bad or vice versa.

But, some people don't even need medication, therapy alone helps them control their OCD. If you have tried a lot of things and feel there's no hope, you can't lose anything by trying something different that has the possibility of helping you.

Ocd IS something you will have forever but, it can be controlled. I know it is possible because I have mine under control so I can personally tell you it could work for you too :) Good luck

[nzpagan]

For those of you who have OCD, my heart goes out to you. I have had in the past and its the worst. However, don't give up. There is hope of full recovery.
There is a great book by Jeff Swartz called "Brain Lock". It is a very valuable book as it shows ways of 'switching off' to the the painful OCD.
Does anyone feel like they're 'possesed'? Well tell yourself its the OCD. It's just the anxiety in its most severe state.
Good Luck

[AineDanu]

I am just happy that so many people came out and told Luminessence (sp) about their own stories of OCD so she can feel more at home and understand there are plenty of other people here she can talk to.

It is so very important to have someone to talk to that understands what you are going through. Truly understands. I never thought it was possible to find anyone that could understand what all I have been dealing with until I came here. I have gained a much better control on my depression now and am feeling more and more like it is safe to be me and to do my best to help others as I have always wanted to do.

I sincerely hope Lum that this helps you that much as well. :) Now you have many whom you can talk to who can help you deal on a more practical level. Best wishes and Big Hugs to you.

[shuvanilu]

For those of you who have OCD, my heart goes out to you. I have had in the past and its the worst. However, don't give up. There is hope of full recovery.
There is a great book by Jeff Swartz called "Brain Lock". It is a very valuable book as it shows ways of 'switching off' to the the painful OCD.
Good Luck


I will definitely have to check this out! I have OCD, and so does the majority of my family. My sister has it the worst. Lum, I feel your pain. It really @#$^&*() sucks! I hope you are able to get help. (((((HUG)))))

---shuvanilu

[TygerSiren]

For those of you who have OCD, my heart goes out to you. I have had in the past and its the worst. However, don't give up. There is hope of full recovery.
There is a great book by Jeff Swartz called "Brain Lock". It is a very valuable book as it shows ways of 'switching off' to the the painful OCD.
Does anyone feel like they're 'possesed'? Well tell yourself its the OCD. It's just the anxiety in its most severe state.
Good Luck



o my gods, that book is the only thing that is able to convince me what the truth is... i can't believe someone brought it up. i'm actually sort of relapsing lately but i highly recommend that book...