Soul Mates

[2steps]

Do you believe that there is someone out there for everyone? and is it possible to think you've found that person and then years later realise they aren't after all?

[Karissma]

yes.

[Dio]

is it possible to think you've found that person and then years later realise they aren't after all?

Uh huh. Hence the increasing divorce rate....

[mystyheart]

Do you believe that there is someone out there for everyone? and is it possible to think you've found that person and then years later realise they aren't after all?

I think we go through stages and we're constantly changing. So, someone might find "Mr. Right" and ten years later find another one.

I believe it's different for each individual and varies depending on our different circumstances and experiences.

Eh.

Does that make sense?

BB,

[MerrisHawk]

There can be more than one. I don't think we have just a single perfect mate, though it may be years in between finding these people.
I had that perfect mate once, not that we didn't argue or didn't have to take the time to learn each other, we dealt with our problems and didn't make them the center of how we felt about each other.
I lost that person when he died and thought that I'd never find that feeling again and I was okay with that. I'd had something really really good and I wasn't going to ruin it by being an idiot now. It took nearly a year to figure out that there was someone who inspired the same feeling in me. Twice in a lifetime is pretty special, I bet I'm not the only one that's had it happen.
I'll shut up for a while now.:)

[phoenixblayze]

i do feel that there are people that you are ment to be with for a period of time in your life to teach you about what is important, and what not to take for granted. as mystyheart said, this may be a few people instead of one.....expl-in high school i thought that my husband was a complete ass, and i was very stand-offish.....it never would have worked, but we ran into each other a few years later, and here we are-married for three years with a baby........sorry, im rambling....anywho, i believe that there are certain souls we are ment to run into, however breif

[gwendar]

No, I don't believe in soulmates. I don't believe anyone is "destined" to be together. I think there are lots of people we can be attracted to and come to love. I'd say it's more curcumstance than anything else.
:)

[CoolJ]

People just click

[Njorun Alma]

Do I believe in soulmates? yes. Do I believe we have only one soulmate? No.

I also believe that most of us run away from our soulmates or give up on them because either they are so real they scare the shit out of us, or the situations are far too complicated to be bothered with. That's my side of soulmates.

[The Lady]

yes, and yes

[mystyheart]

I also believe that most of us run away from our soulmates or give up on them because either they are so real they scare the shit out of us, or the situations are far too complicated to be bothered with. That's my side of soulmates.

Wow. I never thought about it that way, but I think I agree with you.

And I think I've been there. :(

[Valkie]

Do I believe in soulmates? yes. Do I believe we have only one soulmate? No.

I also believe that most of us run away from our soulmates or give up on them because either they are so real they scare the shit out of us, or the situations are far too complicated to be bothered with. That's my side of soulmates.
ya... that.

Also, the entire concept of soul mates is that there is another soul out there that you knew in a previous life and you have work to complete together.

Not all soul mates are happy pairings. Some are ment to cause pain. Some are ment to force you to grow and evolve. And there are others that were loves of a previous life. The relationships are different, but that doesn't make them any less important to your soul.

[2steps]

I thought I had found mine but now I am not not so sure. we have been together for 10 years and he has helped me change an awfull lot. In a good way I mean, deal with things from my childhood and be me rather than the mess I was which Im very glad of but now he is like my best friend and that is all. Reading Valkie post makes wonder if that was the reason for us being together. I really don't know what to think or feel

[WokeUpDead]

No. There are 6.5 billion people in the world and we're supposed to find "The one"? If that's the case you could go millions of lifetimes without ever meeting them and if by some freak accident you do then you have to actually go through all that pre-marriage stuff.

[Rosana]

Do you believe that there is someone out there for everyone?

Sometimes I believe it. I agree with mystyheart - on different stages of my life I had different partners and each of them was perfect at the level I was on. Now I try to be more realistic and less hopelessly romantic. I'm learning that partnership and simple joy of being together means much more than spectacular ups and downs of overwhelming passion - which is something I often expect if comes to soul mates.

and is it possible to think you've found that person and then years later realise they aren't after all?

Of course - I'm a living example 8O

[Xentor]

I believe we seek a specific combination of traits. Several people in our life-time will have and show those traits. Whether we meet them, is a different issue.

Over time, we might value one trait over another. When that happens, the once true soulmate might no longer fit the criteria.

[Ceres]

I think relationships are difficult enough as it is without throwing in all the expectations that the term "soul mate" seems to create.

I have been married nearly 13 years and we have drifted apart and come back together more than once. Ebb and flow. I am glad we are both committed because while new relationships are exciting, there is nothing like the depth of meaning a history together gives.

[Phoenix Element]

I use the term "soulmate" to refer to anyone I believe I've shared previous lives with and which whom I was meant to share at least parts of this one. My most recent thoughts on lifemates are that there is no one "perfect" lifemate, but there are a few who would click depending on when we meet them and what we have experienced up to that point.

[kal]

yes i do believe in soulmates
it's just when you meet them the time may not be right i met mine about 15yrs ago but we were both in relationships at the time and over the years the timing was never right we have been great friends all this time but we are together now and it was worth the wait

[2steps]

ahh thats a loverly story kal

[Happy Shrew]

I'm not a believer in pre-defined, carved-in-stone destiny, so any concept of being meant to be with someone strikes me as rather false.

Besides which, it takes a lot of the appreciation out of it. "Oh, I'm happy to be with you, but it was totally going to happen no matter what we did because it was our fate!" No. I met my love because of circumstances being just right on both sides. My odds of ever meeting him were very slim, but I did, and I am deeply grateful. Had I believed that destiny would toss me in the lap of some dreamboat, I wouldn't appreciate it as much.

There is no such thing as a 100% perfect match. For one, you can't even define precisely what a perfect match is. Is it the person who makes you feel the happiest? The person who teaches you the most? The one who's best in bed? Some combination of those, of course, but in what proportions? Even if you could define it, people are far too complex to ever fit. To assume that someone really did, even in terms of the subtleties about them you don't fully understand, is rude in my eyes. The person is as he/she is, and I guarantee you that he/she farts just like everyone else.

However, there are many people in this world who will suit you just fine. You just have to remember that it won't be perfectly harmonious, and frankly it shouldn't be.

I find that the idea of knowing the person in a past life puts a bit of a sour taste in my mouth as well. It's probably more the fact that so many people claim to have known someone before - it's almost a cliche in some cases. At any rate, I find a lot more value in focusing on this life. It's way too short to clutter up with other things. Just enjoy and learn what you can now. If you're really missing some serious life lesson, it'll probably come about on its own based on the situations you place yourself in.

In conclusion, there's nothing to worry about. Odds are pretty good that you'll meet someone you'll be happy with. Just don't expect it to be paradise on earth all the time.

[atropa]

Here's a different take on things. I don't believe that a soulmate has to be a romantic thing. I was extremely close to my grandmother. We had a special bond that was there since the day I was born. I truly believe that she was a soulmate of mine. My aunt once said that she loved all her grandkids very much, but there was something different about our relationship that wasn't there with the others. It was just this inexplicable (spelling, grammar?) closeness.

[gurlygurl2004]

I've been told recently by a psychic that I've met my soulmate before but tossed him aside. I've yet to feel like I've met my soulmate however.

[gurlygurl2004]

Here's a different take on things. I don't believe that a soulmate has to be a romantic thing. I was extremely close to my grandmother. We had a special bond that was there since the day I was born. I truly believe that she was a soulmate of mine. My aunt once said that she loved all her grandkids very much, but there was something different about our relationship that wasn't there with the others. It was just this inexplicable (spelling, grammar?) closeness.


That's a good point, anyone we feel close to in this life for any reason is technically a soulmate or a significant other. It's just there's some of those really special soulmates that we want to engage in intimate situations with.(That's what a lot of people care about).

[Kalika]

Do you believe that there is someone out there for everyone? and is it possible to think you've found that person and then years later realise they aren't after all?

I believe that there is someone out there for everyone, but that is not my definition of a soul-mate. I've given this one a lot of thought over the years (for my own reasons), and I think a soul-mate is found when you meet that person/those people that make your soul complete. There is not necessarily only one for each of us, nor does the soul-mate have to be the life-partner or lover that most people categorize it as. It can be a friend, a mentor, a guide... someone who comes into your life for just awhile, giving you something that you didn't even know you were missing until they arrived.

I think that people who love each other deeply often feel that they've found their soul-mates... but I also think that if it falls apart, that doesn't mean that it wasn't the case. When there is that deep of a connection, it can't be severed. You can go your seperate ways, but the connection would still be there.

[Strega Del Vento]

I think we go through stages and we're constantly changing. So, someone might find "Mr. Right" and ten years later find another one.

I believe it's different for each individual and varies depending on our different circumstances and experiences.

Eh.

Does that make sense?

BB,

This is what I've always said, too. Don't worry--it makes perfect sense. I believe that my ex Husband was *right* for me for the 8 years we had together. I believe that my Husband now is right for me. Will this one last? I hope so, but it's all about the stages. People change--and some don't change together. But, there's hope.

[Antoninus]

Do you believe that there is someone out there for everyone? and is it possible to think you've found that person and then years later realise they aren't after all?
I personally dont think theres ONE match for every ONE person. If that were true the world would be quite a miserable place as far as marraige goes.

I believe that certain types of people are more compatible with other types and that that type changes as you grow older. Sometimes two people of different types get together and they dont quite fit. Kind of like trying to put a bolt in a hole thats the wrong shape.

But every so often two people who are at the same stage in thier life or who are at the same emotional, mental, and life "setting" if you will, get together and they click.

Some people can make it work, even if they arent an exact match. Others, the bolt is just shaped too differently to be able to fit.

[TygerSiren]

hmm...i think there are 2 different types of soulmates. 1 can be people who you've had close bonds with in previous lives and you're meant to always sort of meet up to help each other in each life. and then i do believe in that "there's one person for everyone" soulmate, or as i like to call it, a "romantic soulmate". it can get tricky though. i think sometimes we might mistake people we've been involved with in previous lives as a "romantic soulmate" because there is a strong bond there. maybe they're just the other kind of soulmate? and as someone posted earlier sometimes we may find our true romantic soulmate...just at the wrong time. some find theirs, but for some reason lose them. and sometimes you find your soulmate and live happily ever after. and there are probably about a million other possibilities in between.

but i do believe in soulmates, and yes, sometimes you could be wrong.

[Necrosapien]

Do I believe in soulmates? yes. Do I believe we have only one soulmate? No.

I also believe that most of us run away from our soulmates or give up on them because either they are so real they scare the shit out of us, or the situations are far too complicated to be bothered with. That's my side of soulmates.

I know how that feels...lol To have the shit scared out of us by someone else. I had that happen with my last gf. I got so scared I was a complete ass and pushed her as far away as I could. Damn you, irony.

[TygerSiren]

I know how that feels...lol To have the shit scared out of us by someone else. I had that happen with my last gf. I got so scared I was a complete ass and pushed her as far away as I could. Damn you, irony.

yeah, been there before... it can really make you feel ridiculous.

irony can be such a pain in any situation... it seems to follow me around actually :wtf:

[Ceres]

yeah, been there before... it can really make you feel ridiculous.

irony can be such a pain in any situation... it seems to follow me around actually :wtf:

Oh but the ability to recognise irony for what it is in your life is so rare anymore! People take themselves too seriously now - its great to see those who can laugh at themselves. :weirdsmil

[TygerSiren]

Oh but the ability to recognise irony for what it is in your life is so rare anymore! People take themselves too seriously now - its great to see those who can laugh at themselves. :weirdsmil

hehe, that's true... i've had to learn to laugh at myself (and everything really), sort of a survivalistic tecnique i guess.