Damn my parents for being Pagan

[Hærfest Leah]

I know we all would like for our children to follow in our footsteps but with our allowing them the freedom we didn't have to enter the faith of their choice, does anyone else have the fear of their child growing up and entering a book religion and thus condeming us?

We had a friend whose teenage daughter did this. I think it was when she entered high school is when she found christianity, (her parents weren't pagan tho) and we even heard her tell her father several times that he was going to hell because he wasn't christian. What do you do as the parent of this child? How do you feel about them I wonder? In this case we stayed out of it.

[semi]

Morr and me have discussed this. We hope to have children someday and we are both horrified by the idea that they will grow to become homogenized members of the herd rather than sporting purple mohawks and causing mayhem. We were less concerned, if I recall correctly (don't want to speak for Morr), in their choice of religion. I want to expose them to and teach them about many different paths and let the kids decide. their choice will be theirs and I'll let it go (hopefully).

As far as this kid telling her father that she's going to hell and crap like that, well, that's out of line for any kid of any religion. What can be done is a tough question. And I'm no expert on kids, having experience only with friend's children. But maybe a kid like the one you mention should be sent to a counselor, preferably a Christian counselor to decrease her rebellious attitude. Then she can be taught that it's ok to be passionate about her religion, but she can't go around condemning people to hell and not expect consequences. Her parents are not good people to do this job because there is too much between them and the kid. I think a neutral party should be brought in, but someone who can relate to both sides of the issue. I think a christian counselor is the best bet.

Just my opinion, based on a complete lack of parenting experience.

[Yvonne Belisle]

I really don't know what I would say to them. I do know I would be very hurt by that attitude coming from any of my children.

[Ceres]

I dont think would condemn us unless we were forcing them to share our beliefs, pagan or otherwise. Its pretty hard to be mad at someone who is telling you to do what you want :lol:
Teenagers generally need to at least disagree, if not outright rebel against their parents' values or style of living or religion, or SOMETHING if for no other reason than to make their own place in the world that is seperate and unique to them. Its part of growing up.

[Amber Wynd]

My friend has to deal with that attitude from one of her sons. He also gave me a lot of grief when I was at their house for Christmas dinner this year. I let it slide because I was a guest, but his mother gently reminded him that she and I both believe there are many paths that lead to the top of the mountain and Christianity is only one of these paths. She recognizes that a lot of what he says is fear based - he truly believes his parents and his brother are in danger of punishment in the next life and he's trying to help. For the most part they do alright because neither parent takes it personally or gets upset and that takes a lot of the pressure off. His dad even goes to church with him from time to time. I don't think I'd go that far, but it seems to work for them and they're managing to remain close to their son in spite of the religious differences.

[Willow Rosette]

On one end I would think thank the Goddess my child has beliefs to teach her morals and to be an up standing person. As semi said as long as she is not having the glazed over look of one who goes along with it all then Im happy. The child telling her father he is going to hell is another matter all together. That is rude and inconsiderate and bad enough from a stranger. I would never allow my daughter to speak to me that way. Religious freedom yes. Bad manners, No.

[Hærfest Leah]

Thanks for the replies, my husband said that once he saw that now he's kinda scared of that happening to us too. But I guess you'll never know till you get there. It all has to do with how you raise your child. In that case tho, part of the problem was that the parents let that teenage girl have too much free reign because she was a straight A student. And I will say..... that right before they left here it bit them in the butt.

[Ceres]

Lemee get this straight...the girl is a teenaged straight A student who, when allowed to run wild decided to become a christian and scorns her parent's lack of religion? Sounds like pretty tame teenage rebellion to me. I think teens showing their true selves, and not copying what their parents are is a good thing. It shows they have a healthy amount of seperation from their parents. Being enmeshed with one's parents is no better than having no ties! After all, our job as parents is to teach them to cope in the world without us, not to make them copies of ourselves.

All these parents need to teach her is how to moderate her expression of her views to show respect for the views of others. That is fairly easy compared with what many parents of teens are dealing with. Often the parents with the most trouble ARE the ones who dont allow their teens to define themselves.

[Sun Sprite]

Sadly, many fundamentilists teach people to go convert everyone, so she is doing what she thinks she is supposed to do. It will be tough for the parents to reteach that conversion to any religion is a personal matter. It can be done. Maybe they could try suggesting they go to a less fundie group. Or, they could try giving her books or videos about things like "The Missing Books of The Bible" or someof the others that show multiple sides and the inconsistencies in the translations. That can make a differece.

Best of luck that your own kids won't have any problems. Maybe a good study of the history of the world religions while young might prevent the problem.

[Morgandria]

*shrugs* It happens. My high priestess' daughter "rebelled" against her pagan family by becoming a Roman Catholic, and a total prude.

It's all reactionary.

[2steps]

my son learnt about christianty at school and now says he is christian. He's 8 and this started about a year ago. I don't activily discourage him as if thats what he believes then it's his choice but I don't encourage him either. He still happily joins in with anything pagan we do. It could just be a phase so I don't worry to much and he only knows what he was taught at school.