Keep coming back to paganism..

[TheTempestuous1]

Hi guys,

Well I have a question and any responses you can give me would be appreciated. For the past maybe 2 years I have been unhappy with the catholocism I have been raised in. It's not like my family are religious freaks or anything, we really don't go to church that much expecially after I grew out of being an alter server, so I'm not all oppressed or anything, and I have made no secret to my parents that I really don't like a lot of the tenets of Catholicism, such as the creation story (I'm going to be an archaeologist and thouroughly believe in evolution.) and the attitudes of many people in the church, such as no abortion, anti gay..ext (i am not gay nor do I want an abortion but I think people should always be able to behave as they believe) So I find myself very resentful whenever I do go to church and I know in my heart, I will never fully be able to accept it with my whole mind. I do believe in Christ but the rest just bothers me alot, like it's the only way ext. And for these past 2 years or so I have repetedly come back to wicca and paganism. I keep discarding it though I think because of feelings of guilt or wrongness like I am werid and this stuff is weird and not real or whatever, but then I come back and start at it again, reading about it, coming on this site, and enjoying expecially, the attitudes of the people I have found to be a part of this religion. The openmindedness, the majority of people who are left wing and think the way I do. So what do you all think? It almost seems to me I am destined to become comfortable with this eventually, which must be why I keep coming back. So any help, advice ext, please post or email to me at Sassy12385@aol.com Thanks for listening to me everyone!

Meghan

[~**foxglove**~]

Hey Meghan, I know what you're going through, trust me! I've only recently managed to get over a similar sort of icky stage myself... You know, the 'I can't believe I'm into this stuff' thing! But, what kept me going was the fact that, eventually, I just decided I would stick with what felt right for me. I mean, I have always been the undefined type. The girl that, when asked what her religion was, would say, "Oh, a little bit of this, a little bit of that, I don't know. I guess I'm Christian, my parents are... but they don't go to Church..." I have been confused from day one. Brought up with largely Christian beliefs but never really sticking to anything. Even now, I don't label myself a wiccan or anything of the sort. I'm just a crossbred, hehe! But, with largely pagan beliefs. I think that, as my philosophies grow and change, it would be pointless to trap myself in the confines of titles I've never felt a part of anyway.

But, this isn't a chance for me to tell my life story, so, back to you! hehe!

Basically, my take on this is that it's just a matter of overcoming mindsets. 'There is only one God. I shouldn't be turning away from this. What if I'm wrong? What if what I'm doing is bad? Is this even ... real?' You need to let these go in order to stop feeling this 'weirdness' (for want of a better word). Remember, you should feel free to question, and to learn, and to think differently, it's your right. If Catholicism doesn't make sense to you, or as you have put it...

"I know in my heart, I will never fully be able to accept it with my whole mind."

Then, don't feel bad about searching for what you CAN accept, what makes sense to you. Whatever it is! Life is, to get all cheesy, one big question. So never feel scared to start asking.

Anyway, good luck, and don't stress! I hope I'll see more of you around here, and feel free to contact me if you need any useless advice (Refer to previous paragraphs, hehe!)

Take care, blessed be.

*End waffle*

[WolfWoman]

I was raised as a Catholic too, and I know exactly how it feels to go thru it. Many of us go thru the 'guilt' which in my opinion is one of the worst to feel. The fact that you keep coming back to Paganism & Wicca should be an indicator that you're searching for something that Catholicism isn't giving you. Never be afraid to question what you were taught if it doesn't feel right. I'm not saying to go all 'anti-everything', but I am saying that you need to listen to your heart, and to the little inner voice that keeps calling on you to do something different. You will never be at peace with religion until you find the one that works for you. Good luck and I hope you find what you're looking for.